Just a gripe

[dementia412]

Okay so my sister had to change our trip dates.. no problem with me. Disney is Disney. Then she says that our mom might come, and this is GREAT news. My kids have never met their grandmother. Every year just about she says she might come up here, but never does, and we just don't have the ability to go to see her. I don't hold that against her because she travels with others, and she has many people to see including siblings she hasn't seen in ages.
I was so excited, but when I brought it up with mom she said she wasn't going because she is going to help my adult nephew sell puzzles in Nov. She said sister #2 never asks for anything so she should go help out even though she doesn't want to do it. WTH I haven't seen her in 8 years, and my kids have never met her! Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if she dies and never sees them. And now I'm getting very upset because really if she stopped wasting money allowing other people in the family (one other nephew in particular) to use her financialy, she could easily have taken a trip up here. She has gone to see everyone else since I've been up here.. some of them several times. She went to DW with my sister twice, but not this time.
I feel very neglected. I don't know if I should post this. I sound like a whining little brat, but I just want my mom to see my kids... is that really so much to ask?

 

[autumnbaby9]

Why can't you go see her?

I know its not as much fun as WDW but at least your kids would be able to meet their GM before its too late.

 

[disneygal2007]

I don't think it up to her to go see her mom. My mother broke her neck to be with me everytime I gave birth. Being a grandma is the reward you get for raising children. I'm just saying Those kids desreve to see their grandma KWIM. Grandma should be on the first thing smokin to see those kids.

 

[dementia412]

Trying to explain without getting very detailed is daunting. Short version is we have had major financial disasters which set us back big time. If we had money we still couldn't get there. We have no car and no license, so we can't drive there. No way could we afford a plane since they never seem to have deals here. A bus is out of the question.. that was miserable without three kids. A train takes forever, and wouldn't even take us all the way there. And finally, after all this time, and all the years of my mother not coming to see us, I honestly wonder if I want to go see her even if I get the money. She has repeatedly picked others over me my entire life, and I'm getting so sick of it.
As for the trip, it is being payed for by my sister. I'm only paying for extras like tipping and souveners. So its not an option of Disney or granny.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Your mother has never met your kids? Huh?

I guess I just don't understand this statement at all. Are you not close with your mom? But I guess not, if she has never laid eyes on your children.

Just seems to me there is way more to this story if a mother and daughter make no effort to see each other in 8 years.

 

[autumnbaby9]

Trying to explain without getting very detailed is daunting. Short version is we have had major financial disasters which set us back big time. If we had money we still couldn't get there. We have no car and no license, so we can't drive there. No way could we afford a plane since they never seem to have deals here. A bus is out of the question.. that was miserable without three kids. A train takes forever, and wouldn't even take us all the way there. And finally, after all this time, and all the years of my mother not coming to see us, I honestly wonder if I want to go see her even if I get the money. She has repeatedly picked others over me my entire life, and I'm getting so sick of it.
As for the trip, it is being payed for by my sister. I'm only paying for extras like tipping and souveners. So its not an option of Disney or granny.

Thanks for the explanation.

Sounds weird to me. I moved 2 blocks away from my parents and if I didn't go see them everyday my mom was on the phone wanting to know when she could see my DD again.

I hate to say it but maybe your kids are better off not knowing her.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Trying to explain without getting very detailed is daunting. Short version is we have had major financial disasters which set us back big time. If we had money we still couldn't get there. We have no car and no license, so we can't drive there. No way could we afford a plane since they never seem to have deals here. A bus is out of the question.. that was miserable without three kids. A train takes forever, and wouldn't even take us all the way there. And finally, after all this time, and all the years of my mother not coming to see us, I honestly wonder if I want to go see her even if I get the money. She has repeatedly picked others over me my entire life, and I'm getting so sick of it.
As for the trip, it is being payed for by my sister. I'm only paying for extras like tipping and souveners. So its not an option of Disney or granny.

I guess we were posting at the same time. Sorry. But as PP said, its a little hard for me to comprehend. My mom is around so much and with the kids so often that sometimes we get sick of seeing her.

I just can't understand how a grandma wouldn't want to see her daughter and grandkids. Maybe you guys are better off without her.

 

[dementia412]

Thanks guys... I love her, but the woman drives me nuts. She is very illogical sometimes. For example, my brother offered her a large sum of money to buy a house, but she claims she can't find anything she would like for that much. The main reason is because she is looking at houses big enough for my family so that my nephew and his gf can live there, but she complains all the time about not living alone because people keep moving in with her. This nephew has been living there for at least a year now, has a job and two cars, and the only thing he pays is the phone bill.. that's it. She has bought this same boy (man) so much in the past, and then he moves back to his mom and just abandons aprtments full of furnature. She never learns... in fact she acts like it's cute how irresponible he is.
The bad thing is we have always been very close. I was the baby, and for many years it was just us. We shared alot, and I was more like an only child even though I have 5 sibs.
I just got fed up tonight and had to let it out. Glad I have the Dis to rant and rave on or I might explode. I don't even want to mention this to my DH because he doesn't like her anyway.. .it would only give him more ammunition... and I hate when he gets on the evil MIL rants.

 

[jjenniboo]

My mother is around myself, my three sisters, and my 4 year old so much that my daughter calls her mom because she hears us say it so much Some people find it a little odd when we're in a public place but it's never bothered me b/c she calls me momma.

 

[Steph9072]

My Mom is my best friend. She was at the hospital for dd's birth and in the room for ds. I could not imagine not having her in my life.


(((HUGS)))
I am sorry you have been dealing with this for so long. To be blunt it is her loss. Not to meet her wonderful Grandkids and see her amazing daughter. IF I were you I would call her tell her how you felt. I would tell her that you will continue to call on occasion but the ball is in her court if she wants to meet her Grandkids & see you she is always welcome but you are not going to ask anymore. Then I would call her on occasion to make sure she is okay. And bless your heart devote your time to your family. Take care I know this has to be hard but it sounds like you have done what you should now she needs to do what she needs to.

 

[pumpkin5156]

Oh, Hun. BIG HUGS!! I know it is hard dealing with family isues...especially someone as close as a mom!

I feel for your situation. But I must say: this issue is not yours. You cannot keep worrying and beating yourself up over it, because your mother's priorities are her own, and there's nothing you can do to change them (besides pray!!

I know that probably doesn't feel good to think she puts everyone and everything over you and your kids, but that seems to be her choices, based on her actions. I think the best you can do is to love her despite her choices, and if she ever does come out, then welcome her with open arms. Or if your situation changes to where you are able to visit, then do it!

If there's one thing I've learned at my young age, it's that you cannot have expectations of people. You just can;t. They will never meet them 100% of the time, and you will be left feeling sad and possibly bitter towards them.

I pray this works out for you. but enjoy your Disney trip!!