John came by last night

[Tuffcookie]

Good job, mom!

I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas!

TC

 

[minkydog]

Thanks ya'll. I know it's just baby steps and he's not ready to resume our relationship. I tell him I love him every time I see him(he picks up DD16 about once a week to go to the movies, get ice cream, or just hang out.) Even if he's not receptive, his ears are still listening. John has always been my high maintenance, extreme intensity child but it doesn't make me love him any less.
........................................................

chicagodisneyfan, you are certainly welcome to disagree with the way we handled this situation. I pray that you never find yourself in such a difficult space. And I pray that you always make the right decisions. I know that I have not always handled things well and it makes me sad. May you do everything right and therefore have no regrets.

 

[kellyg403]

Every journey is a bunch of baby steps. You did the right thing, he knows you love him and more than likely his ambivilence is more like 'guilt'. My dd is so proud that guilt often holds her emotions back.

Give him time..he will see!

Kelly

 

[ead79]

That sounds like a great step in the right direction to me. I'm glad he stopped by, and I think you handled it really well.

 

[ZachnElli]

I think you are doing a good job! I'm so glad you got the opportunity to invite him for Christmas! I hope he surprises you!

 

[diz8297]

Tough love is just that love. More parents should be as strong as you. He knows you love him, he knows you are there for him. He shows his love that you've taught him through his relationship with his sister. The journey continues but it sounds like it's more than on it's way. Have a very Merry Christmas.

 

[minkydog]

I forgot one thing: John opened his gift from my husbands sister. She always gives dumb gifts to the kids(like a Batman belt with matching umbrella when DS was 15 ) So he pulls out this hand-tooled wallet, you know the kind with the plastic string binding. It's stamped with a picture of Jesus on the cross complete with drops of blood dripping down from the arms, and on the back is the complete Lords Prayer. He looked at that like WTH? But there was a check and a letter inside explaining that this wallet was given to her father, John's grandfather who died a year before he was born, from his mother. He was really touched and said,"Wow. That's kinda cool." Then he transferred his drivers license and credit card to Papa's wallet.

 

[Kae]

What a nice little spot of hope for the holidays.

Kae

 

[disney1990]

Good to see a bit of progress.

 

[luvsJack]

Sometimes seeing these "late bloomers" finally start growing up is a wonderful experience. I know that it is hard not to be with your son all the time; just hang tough, you will see the other side of this and he will be a better man for it.

 

[joha]

Minky,

I started reading the thread, and although I don't know what happened before, it brought tears to my eyes. John could be my son...I have a difficult 16 year old, and each day is a struggle.

I'm happy that you are on a mending path with your son. The pain a mother feels is hard for others to understand sometimes. We all make mistakes and as parents we do the best we can and know how.

Merry Christmas.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Minky,

I started reading the thread, and although I don't know what happened before, it brought tears to my eyes. John could be my son...I have a difficult 16 year old, and each day is a struggle.

I'm happy that you are on a mending path with your son. The pain a mother feels is hard for others to understand sometimes. We all make mistakes and as parents we do the best we can and know how.

Merry Christmas.

Even when it's not a mistake, it can be painful. Also known as, "The double whammy".

 

[luvmarypoppins]

aw Miney, guess John sees the door is always open, sweet of you.I havent been keeping up but is your foster son still with you and how is christian doing too, Hoping your dd has a speedy recovery and you all have a happy holliday. That was a wonderful meaningful gift that John got from his aunt.

 

[Bob NC]

I have followed your story all year, and vehemently disagree with how it was handled.

<Nevermind>

 

[mum4jenn]

I remember your story as well. I am so glad he is starting to come around. It sounds like he ahs learned a hard lesson and one day he will be able to thank you for it. Good Job Mom.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

I don't recall all the backstory but I'm very glad you got to see him this Christmas and I hope this is the beginning of reconciliation for your family.

 

[TheBigBadWolf]

I'm glad to hear John is coming 'round. I know this separation has been hard on you, but I truly believe you did the right thing. You are forcing your son to be a man, and not a bum like so many of our younger generation wants to be. A lot of people I know could learn from your example!! John will eventually grow up, and he'll be ashamed he was so hard headed in his youth.

Merry Christmas, Minky.

 

[minkydog]

aw Miney, guess John sees the door is always open, sweet of you.I havent been keeping up but is your foster son still with you and how is christian doing too, Hoping your dd has a speedy recovery and you all have a happy holliday. That was a wonderful meaningful gift that John got from his aunt.

Yes, Eric is still with us. I feel so bad for him. He has lost so much in his life. His mother died of gastric hemorrhage due to alcoholism when he was 20(Eric and John saw the whole thing.Gruesome.) His father and the new trophy wife have rejected him. Last night he flew to Miami to be by his friend's side--the friend had a lung transplant last year and now has pneumonia, not doing well at all. And he flew back this morning because his grandfather was hospitalized last night. Can this kid ever get a break?

Christian is doing great. Our nurse comes in every evening and walks him up to 2 miles. He's "training" Christian for the summer Special Olympics. Bless him, Samuel takes him out even when it's cold. I'm giving him some warm gloves and a wooly hat for Christmas(as well as a gift card for gas and some home made vegetable soup and sugar cookies)

All in all, this has been the beginning of a nice Christmas. Much better than last year when DH was in CCU.

 

[dismom2]

Yes, Eric is still with us. I feel so bad for him. He has lost so much in his life. His mother died of gastric hemorrhage due to alcoholism when he was 20(Eric and John saw the whole thing.Gruesome.) His father and the new trophy wife have rejected him. Last night he flew to Miami to be by his friend's side--the friend had a lung transplant last year and now has pneumonia, not doing well at all. And he flew back this morning because his grandfather was hospitalized last night. Can this kid ever get a break?

Christian is doing great. Our nurse comes in every evening and walks him up to 2 miles. He's "training" Christian for the summer Special Olympics. Bless him, Samuel takes him out even when it's cold. I'm giving him some warm gloves and a wooly hat for Christmas(as well as a gift card for gas and some home made vegetable soup and sugar cookies)

All in all, this has been the beginning of a nice Christmas. Much better than last year when DH was in CCU.

Nice to hear your son came around. Hope the rest of your holidays are good.

 

[DawnCt1]

The door is open. He knows you love him. The rest is up to him. He needed to grow up and be independent.