Jack and Jill question

[dcassetta]

I have never heard of anything like this, but it’s been a little while since I was married, and the fashions may have changed!

 

[lanejudy]

If you are saying that Jack & Jill only means a co-ed shower, then I would say they are very common these days.

Decades ago when I got married, one of my showers was a "Jack & Jill" simply meaning a co-ed shower. I've never heard of selling tickets, raffles for baskets, etc. That is definitely not a thing around here; my nieces and nephews are young adults getting married and never heard of such a thing.

 

[HopperFan]

Decades ago when I got married, one of my showers was a "Jack & Jill" simply meaning a co-ed shower. I've never heard of selling tickets, raffles for baskets, etc. That is definitely not a thing around here; my nieces and nephews are young adults getting married and never heard of such a thing.

Thank you, it seemed like just a cute name for co-ed shower, but I was getting confused about the fundraiser part so thought that was actually what it was about.

 

[mjkacmom]

Yeah, if I am going to a fundraiser it is because I have an affiliation or connection to the organization. Going to a fundraiser for random people ... is something I just don't understand.

We don’t have events like this for engaged couples, but tons of organizations hold tricky trays as fundraisers, usually more formal at banquet halls with cocktail hours, multi course dinners, cash bar, and hundreds of baskets at different ticket price levels based on value (with the most expensive ones $1000+). There are also simpler ones held in local community buildings. There are people who enjoy them so much that they go to ones they have no affiliation with (like the bingo folks who just like to play). Many actually sell out.

 

[NAB]

People keep calling it a fundraiser but really the money is a present to the bride and groom instead of gifts that you would get at a shower.

I think these are popular here because most couple these days are living together and don’t need anything.

 

[HopperFan]

People keep calling it a fundraiser but really the money is a present to the bride and groom instead of gifts that you would get at a shower.

I think these are popular here because most couple these days are living together and don’t need anything.

Giving a Bride & Groom cash gifts, from people they know, could be done with cash in an envelope or deposit to a fund account.

When you add in prizes, raffles, silent auction, 50/50 then it is considered a fundraiser, and where I live you have to get a permit to operate that kind of event. In some of these posts they say complete strangers are attending the event which further moves it away from shower to an event.

I get the reasoning why they prefer cash to stuff, it is one reason I had no showers because I didn't need that starter stuff. If you want cash make that the focus of your registry, but then that does limit the cash to those invited I guess.

 

[Nancyg56]

That is interesting I have never been to one where the person who won the raffle prize didn’t keep it, I have not seen anyone give the prize to the couple. Regional traditions are super interesting.

It happens all the time here. Jack and Jill, charity fund raisers, stags. I dont buy them because Im the one who wants to keep the prize. LOL!

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Where I grew up, I've heard them referred to as 'Stag and Drag'

That made me laugh. In our family, DH would have to do the dragging. He's more outgoing & enjoys parties more than I do.

 

[leebee]

You learn something new every day...

In my neck of the woods, a Jack&Jill is a traditional bridal shower but the men are invited. They are becoming more and more common as people marry later. Also, when I was young, brides had showers and grooms had bachelor parties. I think now that brides have bachelorettes, it seems to make things more balanced to force include men in the shower, too. However what is described here (FB invitations, raffle tickets, 50/50) seems to me to be nothing more than a fundraiser, an in-person "go fund me" with a consolation prize for the "donator." Seems weird and impersonal, but... whatever, no skin off my nose either way.

 

[aprilgail]

So I guess the question here is ... what is a Jack & Jill? I assumed from the original post it was a "bridal shower" that includes fundraising, raffles, baskets, etc.

If you are saying that Jack & Jill only means a co-ed shower, then I would say they are very common these days. My DD has one put on by their MOH & a groomsman BUT they only invited friends aka young people.

I think it is the whole raffle, fundraising part that many have never heard of, or are uncomfortable with.

Jack and Jill is just a baby shower or bridal shower where guys are invited too- same exact thing as a regular shower- no raffles etc.

 

[CPBv2]

Maybe some details were omitted, but why would anyone attend a party for someone they don't even know or do you just like to go to parties? That seems a bit strange to me and how would you have known a party was taking place?

I have never heard of the term 'social', but perhaps a regional thing.

Socials are a very long standing regional tradition in Manitoba (where Winnipeg is). It was something you would do on a Saturday night. They were a bit more popular in the past as a place where the drinks were cheap, some free food later in the evening, there was dancing (sometimes a band, other times a DJ), and a means of giving the couple a financial leg up for starting their life together. We used to just go to local community centers in Winnipeg and buy tickets at the door. It is no different than going to a bar on the weekend and paying a cover charge, except you were helping out a couple as opposed to supporting a business.

Good times!

 

[#1hoosierfan]

This has been a terribly interesting thread. I have never heard of most of the things mentioned. We have “couples showers” here and it’s usually a small party held at someone’s home or small venue. Food is served and people bring gifts or cash/gift card gifts are given.