Jab's WDW Trip Report (May 12-21)

[Jabroniville]

Human Ariel! Only with Character Dining!

AKERSHUS DINING HALL:
Weirdly, some of the finest dining in EPCOT is to be had at a generic-looking building shoved off to the side of a Stave Church and down the path from the Frozen Ever After ride- Akershus is a Norwegian-themed restaurant that is also Character Dining, with Belle greeting guests as they enter.

I had a reservation for 5:20-ish, but since I was free at 5:05 or whatever, I decided to wander in early and see if they could seat me anyhow. I find this is usually okay, but this time I think it was a mistake, lol- I was seated WAYYYYYYY before most of the guests showed up, and it was a heck of a wait for the "Princess Tour" to show up. Though I had a captive audience with Belle since nobody else was in line, so there's that (leading to a funny bit where I slowly put my bag down and got something out of it, waiting for my turn... and turned around to find Belle just patiently staring at me, waiting for me to get up there, lol). it was just kind of funny- as a solo guest, I got the mandatory "shoved off into the corner" (literally against a pillar between the main dining hall and the room with the appetizers, at a small table) spot, so I was already out of the way, AND early. The ways this place punishes you for not being in a huge group .

The appetizer array was rad, as you can basically fill your plate with as much as you want, and some of it's fish-themed. I forget what I got for the meal... knowing me, the salmon or scallops would have been the thing, but I literally can't remember. Must have been the salmon. It was good enough, though I had to nurse the beans like crazy, because of the aforementioned early seating, lol. I mean, I was half-done before ANY Princesses showed up, and they start at the OPPOSITE end of the hall from where I was. So I was literally at this point where I finished the "main" meal, and was now eating one single bean at a time so that I could avoid finishing before it was too early. Given how I normally eat like The Beast in that dining hall scene, it was quite the change, let me tell you! Also they were out of some Apple Cider drink I wanted to try, so I was stuck with a regular Coke.

The "Royal Chef's Dessert Platter" was quite good, however, after a plate full of appetizers and the slowest-eaten meal ever, I was already KIND of full, and... halfway through, I realized this dessert platter is meant for TWO PEOPLE, because I was about ready to explode all over the dining hall . Like, there was NO WAY I was finishing this, so I just kind of dented all three things. But hey- the Princesses FINALLY made their way to the table of the one weird guy off all by himself! At least this time Snow White didn't give me the "pity look" for being single! Instead, she just felt aghast at me not having any "Gooseberry Pie" for dessert. I literally don't remember what Aurora & Ariel said, but Ariel noticeably had "Human Ariel" face, where the Face Character has a much longer face than round-faced "Mermaid Ariel" ever seems to. Anyone else notice that? I'd tell you what Cinderella said... except they did some "march down the dining hall" thing with the kids in four little rows, and then the Princesses left... and Cinderella never came back!

I was going to joke about that with the server (who was good-natured about me taking FOREVER to eat), but I was afraid they'd end up calling the poor girl back and she'd miss a break or whatever. I would later watch some YouTube videos of ex-Princesses who state that they HATE doing the "Dining Hall" stuff for that exact reason- you have to rush through the tables, desperately try to avoid skipping people over... and then get called back for the one table you missed and act apologetic (on their break) while the guest acts like you did it DELIBERATELY. So it was good of me to clam up.

All in all, it was fun and I could tell some fun stories about it. Great food and a good atmosphere, though not nearly as impressive as the Royal Table or Be Our Guest in terms of scenery- it's just a big Nordic-looking building. Some people SWEAR by "Character Dining" because you get to meet everyone on your own time (ie. while you eat) without waiting in line, but I do notice that you get almost NO TIME with each girl, as they literally have to run through the entire assortment of guests one at a time, taking photos. So I find that you get much less of a conversation, unless someone is feeling particularly spirited. And because you're solo, the best you get is a "portrait" (ie. selfie) because there's no PhotoPass guy around. So it's not AS GOOD as a character meet & greet.

However, it's the only time you get to meet Belle in full "yellow dress" costume, short of "Enchanted Tales" (where you can't really talk).

 

[Jabroniville]

OMG I keep doing that with my hands I can't stop

CHARACTER MEET & GREETS:
-Okay, so this was a new thing for me. I only did Cinderella's Royal Table last time I was here, and haven't done M&Gs since (I was mostly in foreign parks, which have far fewer of these). Part of it was being shy; part self-conscious about seeming like some weird guy out to meet Princesses by himself. Honestly, I wasn't even planning on getting many pictures done.

BUT, in the past few years, I've read the Reddit AMAs with some of the Face Characters, and they say they didn't mind getting photos with male guests (One girl: "We're girls- we like attention. Take the picture!"). Only Tinker Bell said "All dads are pervy" and commented about how many dads asked what was underneath her skirt. And so I lost my self-consciousness (despite usually being the ONLY SOLO GUY IN LINE), and... these are actually a lot of fun! Once you're prepared to talk (or just listen to them babble; some just go off on their own with ready-made conversations), it's fine. It's kind of like improv, and funny to see how closely some of them can mimic their characters. Moreover; MANY of them actually get that "oh thank god" look in their eyes when they realize you know what you're talking about and have actually seen their stuff. Like, some of them MIGHT think you're weird, but most of what I've read indicates that they appreciate "Super Fans" who just adore the characters they play.

I think it also helps that I'm, like, WAY too old for most of these girls, and could recognize it. While some are quite attractive (I mean, that's the job), the fact that I'm 37 and most of them look barely into their 20s just makes them look like kids to me, no matter how pretty they are. Their itty-bitty "silhouettes" (as Disney calls them) just add to it, as does the short height of some girls. I met a very pretty Elena of Avalor, for example, but I'd have been more comfortable taking out her older sister, if you know what I mean.

Fun Fact: if you look closely, you can see the pair of doors at Meet & Greet locations, and they're very careful to set up a small group at once, open one door, then draw you all in before the other door is opened for the next group. So every Princess usually has a counterpart in the immediate room over.

Also Fun: It's a great icebreaker to mention that you've met their Voice Actors doing the rounds at Comic Conventions. Just saying their name in passing is usually enough.

Other Things: Some Princesses are liable to just dominate the entire conversation and go rapid-fire, especially if you're a little quiet at first. Some are supposed to be REALLY chatty, while others are just pros at talking super-fast to move the line through (172 guests per hour is ideal; go below it and you can get in actual trouble! I've heard "Tattler" culture is big at WDW, sadly). As they're used to dealing with shy, noncommunicative kids, they have a lot of "pre-set conversation starters", and if you meet the "same" Princess a few times, you can pick up on them.

As most Princesses are chatty, this happens a lot. Most also take the arm of a male guest (I assume to prevent handsy fathers; one Snow White Reddit thing says this is a recurring issue, and others on YouTube are MUCH more blunt about it). A few will maintain their character's "voice" very sincerely- Tiana nearly always NAILS it. Belles nearly always match Paige O'Hara's cadence. "Human" Ariels tend to be chatterboxes, while "Mermaid" Ariels seem to do Jodi Benson's more slow, thoughtful delivery. Elsa is a major stand-out, as she's basically the only reserved, calm "Princess" (well, Queen).

Reading their "Face Plans" is interesting, as sometimes they match up, and other times they don't. According to some Q&As, you can often fail your audition for not looking enough like the OTHER active Face Characters- it's not as much about matching the plan for Belle as it is looking like every OTHER Belle. That said, I know from a fair few that the girls "double-up" as needed- at least one guy I know says a friend of his was "Friends Of" four women at a time (including the very not-white Pocahontas & Jasmine).

 

[Jabroniville]

... I may have a Frozen obsession. Tell no one. It's a secret.

ANNA & ELSA: The Royal Somerhus in EPCOT is the new meeting place of these two. I was planning on doing this once, but ended up going five times because I'm still obsessed with Frozen, lol.

When I met the first Elsa, I did a full formal bow ("Your MAJESTY", I said, like a total dork), and she actually got a wide-eyed, hand-on-chest, "Oh, THANK you!", lol. Most of the others looked a fair bit younger, occasionally with different facial shapes. I mean, for all the "they should look alike", some of them were ENORMOUSLY different- one had a slimmer face, while another had chipmunk cheeks. None looked remotely as old as the first one (who is the same Elsa as this June 2018 YouTube video, which means she's been at this a while). I in fact couldn't find ANY similarities... until I looked at my pictures of us talking and realized that every one of them had the exact same straight noseline when viewed in profile.

With the first time I walked in, I figured I wasn't gonna do "Princess Poses" all the time, so I'd just get a pic with my phone. Unfortunately, when I smiled and asked an attendant if she could take pictures, she gave me that noticeable "UGH!" look/sound, so I could tell she was a bit annoyed (either I was more brusque than I thought, or she just didn't feel like it). And though she took some decent photos, the PhotoPass guy might have been annoyed too (like "this guy isn't gonna buy these anyhow, why bother?"), and ended up only snapping TWO photos, only one of which turned out particularly well. It was unfortunate, because I realized later than my iPhone didn't take great pics of people, so I'd have actually wanted those ones. In any case, there's literally only two PhotoPass pics of this Elsa, while I have at LEAST five of every other character (including the Anna that was in the same room; the next attendant/photo guy apparently had no issue), and often upwards of a dozen. And I definitely didn't shove my phone into the person's face or anything. Just one of those things, I guess. The REST of the time, I had the pictures taken by the pros, with their good cameras.

What was neat is that they all had that "Queenly Reserve" thing going on- I would imagine Elsa is the most-difficult character to play in a lot of regards- she's never outgoing in the story. If you watch Frozen carefully, she's absolutely the quietest character ever 90% of the time. So she's not as bubbly as the other Princess characters you meet, moves very slowly and with purpose, etc. They're all VERY careful to flow that long cape around just so- they also all do this little "flick" with their hands (fingers splayed out with the pointer finger all the way up and the pink all the way down) and slowly drag the cape behind them. I actually complimented one of the Elas on it- it's really impressive.

Sadly, I wanted to go on about my Wicked t-shirt to Elsa, given the natural link between that and her story (Idina Menzel playing a magical chick who gets mistreated because of what she is, but through the use of a chatty annoying girl and Power Ballads, she accepts herself for who she is), but... Elsas always start off the conversation asking where I'm from or whether or not I'm an ice harvester, and there was never really an opportunity. Plus I didn't want to waste time in one of the busiest Meet & Greets. So despite meeting five separate Elsas, I never managed to talk about it . Only one Elsa seemed particularly unique, in that she insisted that I NOT TELL Anna about the chocolate she'd hidden throughout the Castle. I of course betrayed this trust... but with an Anna two days later .

Elsa seems to have a typical "pose"- doing that one with her hand up in the air and a casual smile on her face. Oddly, two Elsas did that with no body contact, while two others put their hand on my back. A middle one actually took my arm for the "Typical Princess Pose With Male Guest", which shocked me. I wonder what criteria they use for these? Do some performers just have a typical pose to use?

Annas, by contrast, are VERY chatty and outgoing (the first I met pointed out that "Kristoff calls me feistypants"). Typically if one gets going, they can dominate the entire conversation- it's tricky to even get a word in. Most of them completely stepped all over me, though one heard Elsa ask where I was from ("So I heard you say you're from CANADA?"), and another went on and on about chocolate, and asked me what kinds. She appeared stunned and confused when I said "maple" (IT'S A THING, I SWEAR!), but I copped to Elsa's secret hidden chocolate, which excited her. "HERE!?!" she asked, agog at the idea, and I stumbled out "Well in the CASTLE, maybe! But also in here!". Annas tend to have the same "Face Plan"- very cherubic, youthful cheeks, big eyes, and a pointy chin. Their full costumes make them stand out from the gown-wearing other Princesses for sure! The eyes of the sisters were interesting- they nearly always wear dark blue contacts, giving their eyes an impossible look.

The first Anna was super-adorbz, but the poor thing was wearing SO MUCH MAKEUP that I think it gave her artificial bags under her eyes (she looked barely 20, yet had two dark lines visible in the photos)- she had some bad skin under her mouth, with notable pits. It kind of reminds me of some Princesses' comments, where they laughed about being called "beautiful" all day long, while hiding bad acne breakouts and the like, being so young.

 

[Jabroniville]

The outdoor Belles look pretty similar, but "Jenna Coleman's Clone" looks nothing like either, lol.

BELLE: Belle is visible all over the parks in various ways, but EPCOT has the primary meet & greet. Oddly, she has to sit alongside the rock wall, while Aurora gets a covered gazebo with a fan. Belle Characters have always impressed me- if you watch, they are VERY precise in their movements, going about like little ballerinas, just like the animators intended in the film. Watch the feet- one is ALWAYS pointed off to the side or at an angle. The makeup doesn't run, even in deathly Florida weather (this impressed the girls in line).

The first Belle I met was FANTASTIC. She had the movements down, the right face shape for the character (Belles typically have rounder faces- "full" and a bit less distinct than an Aurora), and even the VOICE. Like, she had the exact same inflections as Paige O'Hara did in the movie. And when I added "You know, you're my favorite Princess- in fact, I met a very nice lady named Paige O'Hara who told me that Belle is ALWAYS the favorite of the boys", we started talking about her ("Have you seen her paintings?", she asked). She even pointed out my Wicked shirt and nerded out over it in a way that made it clear she HAD actually read the novel ("Have you READ that story?"), before remembering to stay in character ("Do you think The Beast would like it?"). Then I pointed out how it was neat how she always took ballerina poses and she LOLd, almost embarrassed, like "People DO notice that a lot!". It ended up being a minute or so interaction- much longer than normal. Truly a great interaction.

The next Belle I met at the same location wasn't as familiar with Wicked, but I came up with my "Wicked/BATB" theory about how similar they are ("It's about a person who LOOKS odd, and so people mistreat them; that makes them grouchy and insular, until a GIRL comes along and helps them out of their shell!"). I don't recall as much about this one, though. She didn't seem to have it down AS well, but had the dialogue style properly. When I added "you're my FAVORITE Princess" she did the "laugh off to the side with hand covering the mouth" thing, and when I mentioned I'd met Gaston, she added "He is positively PRIMEVAL" (like the movie), and I joked about how flattering him made him seem to like me a lot more, lol.

The other Belle I saw was in Akershus, doing the big meet & greet. Oddly, they let me in way early, so I was the only one there. I was stunned to find what looked like a sixteen-year-old girl in Belle's costume! I mean, she was TINY, and looked way younger than the other two. A much rounder, more delicate face than the other girls (who seem to have thicker eyebrows drawn in), and wayyyyyyyyyy less make-up. It wasn't until I looked at the pictures that I realized she was a near exact clone of actress Jenna Coleman, too. I mean, it was UNCANNY.

The poor thing straight up JUMPED when I mentioned that I'd met Paige O'Hara- like a full "OMG!" expression, wide eyes, and covering her mouth while she hopped in excitement. Now THAT was funny . Then I compared "Wicked" to "BATB" again ("So it's about this person who looks off-putting, and so everyone treats them badly, and that makes them grouchy & insular. And then a girl comes along and helps them come out of their shell!" "That's just like MY story!"). I think comparing a Broadway musical to a Disney movie to a character FROM that movie classifies as 10/10 Nerdiness.

 

[Jabroniville]

Every girl I show this to gushes over how pretty Aurora is. Meanwhile, I forgot to take off my glasses, lol.

This Aurora looks craaaaaaaaaaaazy in the pictures .

AURORA: I met two different "friends" in Paris (EPCOT), and another in the Akershus dining hall. One thing that's always struck me is the consistency in Auroras in the Parks- none of the other girls EVER have quite the same consistent "body/face plan" like Auroras do. It's always the same type of girl- tall-ish, slender, VERY long face. She typically acts like the most generic and friendly of the Princesses- "Princess Classic", as they call it, since she's not wild like most of the later ones, nor is she reserved or an intellectual. One I met just did a delighted chuckle most of the while (I forgot to take my sunglasses off for the picture, lol). REALLY prominent dimples.

Another went on this big thing about Prince Phillip, Dragons, and the rumors of a Dragon in EPCOT (once I figured out what she was talking about, I made mention of him being purple, and she suggested "he was just a figment of the imagination"). The weirdest thing is, this Aurora had a VERY distinctive Southern accent. I mean, she was doing the full "Southern Belle" thing ("Hello theah", "Ah heard tell of a DRAGON even here in EPCOT!" "Though some would say he's a FIGMENT of the IMAHGHINAYSHUN"). Which is weird, as most of the girls have very specific vocal cadences to perform- you're supposed to literally sound like the movie character, and here's this girl with a TOTALLY different accent. I nearly asked her if she was from "The southern portion of France", but was afraid it'd come off as mean, lol. But it was VERY striking; I'd never heard a Southern Disney Princess like that! I'm pretty sure that's not even allowed, given how most YouTube Princess Face Characters indicate how long they had to try to capture the voice.

The facial requirements for Aurora frequently mean that they're infamously attractive, I think. I saw a few gay guys in line clearly fawning over the first one "She's SO BEAUTIFUL!" and many Mommy Blogs warn about husbands spending too much time around Auroras, lol. And the women I showed the pic to were floored by the first one's beauty, as well.

ARIEL: Ariel is always very hyperactive in human form, but less so in mermaid form, for whatever reason. And oddly, Ariels seem to be recruited from the same ranks as the Auroras, with very long faces, despite Ariel herself having VERY round facial features in the movies. But... mermaid Ariels tend to have rounder faces. It's peculiar. I had humorously long conversations with the Ariels in her "Grotto" meet & greet- I guess they're just happy to talk to ADULTS once in a while. I mentioned to one that I'd met "a human with nearly your EXACT voice" in Jodi Benson, and she suggested she "might have been a mermaid in a past life". With the next one, she mentioned "snarfblat" and I said I'd seen her using one on her hair, at which point she immediately corrected me- "That's not a snarfblat, SILLY- that's a DINGLEHOPPER!" (SCHOOLED!), and we riffed on that for a while ("did you know that some people use this to pick up FOOD?!?" "Really?!"). I mentioned I really had no use for such a thing, and she giggled. Quite funny.

haha, regarding Ariels, I always remember reading in one of the Travel Guides about how adults can get a bit shocked when they see her- "I was stunned to find a young woman wearing only a clamshell bra and a fish tail!" one guest reports. They were immediately too self-conscious to take a picture, and poor Ariel actually seemed hurt ("you don't want to take a picture with me?"). But yeah, it's legitimately a very young woman (I assume they have to have toned stomachs) wearing a clamshell bra. A pretty solid one, though- the second Ariel actually leaned into me for the photo, and that thing is REALLY thick and heavy. It hits you with a "THUD". Sucker's about 2-3 inches thick.

The third Ariel I met was in Akershus, and was one of the "hyperactive, long-faced human-form" Ariels. I remember almost nothing of what she said, lol. You REALLY don't have much time in the dining hall to talk.

 

[Jabroniville]

CINDERELLA: Oddly, Cinderella seems to have the least-consistent facial characteristics of the girls. Rounder faces are common, I guess, but I've seen a lot of Cinderellas that match the face of a "Drizella" much more- longer, prominent noses. Very atypical appearances in some cases. They're apparently pretty famous for cooing over little boys who get in line, dancing with them and getting marriage proposals from infatuated youngsters, lol. I met her twice (the one in Akershus actually skipped my table!)- I think one led the entire conversation one time, while the next kept talking about the ball and hoping I'd be there, and all sorts of stuff about if I danced. She was all like "I hope you'll save at least one dance FOR ME!" and I was like "is she actually flirting with me, or is this part of the job?" I ended up asking if her sisters were going to be there, and if they were still single (I mean, Cinderella is MARRIED). "Oh yes- they're available! And they've been taking their dancing lessons, too!"

Here, the job requirements for slender girls became notable. The second Cinderella leaned right into me for the picture, and the front of that dress is SOLID. Like, a whole plank of... I dunno, whalebone or something. It would be intensely uncomfortable to have much shapeliness in that. It actually HIT me, like Ariel's clamshell.

THE STEP SISTERS: These girls are always a hoot. And I find they seem to be recruited from similar groups as the Princesses, as they're often just as attractive as the Princess characters, though just in quirky ways. Anastasia appears full-faced and normal-looking, while Drizella is often attractive but with a very prominent nose. When I brought up that Cinderella said they had been taking dancing lessons, they immediately started hopping around, awkwardly raising their feet, and more. Hilariously, when I told Anastasia "You know, I talked to your stepsister, Cinderella, the other day..." She immediately interrupted with "I'm SORRY...." with this exasperated tone. I held in a laugh, going "yeah, she's a bit much, isn't she?". Truly funny girls. And boy, you have to be a good sport- some little girl ran right up and was all "You're UGLY!" to them.

Anastasia (who is the ONLY one that talks most of the time; Drizella just kind of sits there, all bored) noticed my Wicked shirt and riffed off that- when I explained that "it's about how someone who was thought of as the VILLAIN can actually just be MISUNDERSTOOD!" she was all "EXACTLY!!". Great stuff.

ELENA OF AVALOR: Yes, curiously, the spirited star of a Disney Junior TV series gets to sit there alongside the ultra-famous Cinderella. I actually really enjoy that show (it's TOTALLY on the wrong network; it's aired alongside Doc McStuffins, yet features the heroine whipping out a fire scepter and SHOOTING A WITCH IN THE FACE with it), which meant I was looking forward to this one. Both Elenas I met were very spirited and feisty, and looked nothing alike (one of those "well, you match the ethnicity" things, I guess). The funniest bit was the first one giving me some generic stuff about whatever, and asking me if I'd rather go "someplace COLD, or someplace HOT...?", and when I answered with "what about that one... MAGICAL place?" and her eyes just LIT UP as we said at once "VALLESTRELLA?!?!" with this look that just said "OH THANK GOD- AN ADULT KNOWS WHO I AM!!!"

I mean, these poor girls. Always gotta meet adults who are like "who on Earth is THIS?" unless they have small children. She's so obscure, yet sits there alongside a Princess everyone on Earth recognizes. It was adorable seeing the girl just light up when she realized I'd actually seen the show, so she was able to talk about the magical creatures living there. The second time I met Elena, she went on this thing about Jacquins (without explaining what they were) for a bit until I said "How's Vallestrella?"- she was a bit less excited than the last one to be recognized, but we did the "back-to-back with our arms crossed" pose.

 

[Jabroniville]

Tink- unconvinced that my shirt doesn't mean I'm evil.

TINKER BELL: This one immediately freaked out at my Wicked t-shirt- "Wait- WICKED? Does that mean you're bad? Are you bad?!", but she calmed down since "well, it IS green, and that's my favorite color!". Very funny interaction, as she does the "crossed arms" thing and acts very spunky and impetuous. It's kind of mind-blowing that creepy dads would hit on these girls (one Tink AMA insists that "all dads are pervy" and that she's always been asked "what's under your skirt?"- the height requirements (4'11" to 5'2") and body type (slender, not very chesty) make them look legitimately about fourteen. I can't imagine coming to a park to hit on a Tinker Bell. It's SO WEIRD.

She appeared legitimately thankful that I'd actually seen the Disney Fairies stuff before Disney nuked that franchise. These poor girls- they have to memorize EVERYTHING, and now there's an entire set of movies that kids no longer really have access to. After a big riff on Wicked, she asked if I was a "Tinker-Talent Fairy", I suggested possibly a "Fast-Flying Talent", which IMMEDIATELY led her to riff about Vidia and how she'd been slowing down ("she must be slowing down, because she said she was going faster than the speed of sound, but this time I HEARD HER!"). She had that stuff about Vidia READY- probably just in case people ask about the Fairies stuff.

Seeing as this is right off of Main Street, this line-up is RIDICULOUSLY busy all day. It also has one of those lame automatic "Memory Maker" cameras to save on labor, which is goofy (Belle's less-popular meet & greet outside has an attendant and cameraman, but this one doesn't?). Since it just snaps "whenever", you can get some odd photos. And the next family's photos. I kind of feel for Tink, who now has to do Meet & Greets alone, instead of with her old Fairy Friends (most Silvermists were also Mulans).

SNOW WHITE: Both Snow Whites I met (EPCOT, Akershus), were all about gooseberry pie for some reason, lol. Just going on about Grumpy Dwarf (were they saying something about my demeanor!?!) and that pie. Snow was HORRIFIED that my Akershus dessert contained none of it. Man, doing that voice all day has to be awful, though. As usual, I notice that all Snows have very round faces- the thick makeup and wigs easily making them resemble the character (though MUCH older- the movie version is quite young). When I joked that "you know, *I* can be a bit grumpy sometimes, too", she did the hugely-fake "laugh into her hand" Princess Laugh thing. You can really tell these girls squeak out their lines, though- no wonder some of them ruin their vocal chords.

Alas, no conversation like the last time I was at WDW, where Snow was all "Are you here ALL BY YOURSELF?" and when I was like "um, yes", she responded "ARE YOU STILL WAITING FOR THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE!?". Total pity from a Disney Princess is hard on the self-esteem, lol.

No one emasculates like Gaston!

GASTON: So to prove to others that I DIDN'T just take pictures with the gir-- I mean, so I could COMPLETELY MY FACE CHARACTER ALLOTMENT, I met up with Gaston. Now, guy/guy interactions with Gastons are always good, but in this case, I was sure to just use flattery. "You know, I always felt you were the PARAGON of manliness" "WOAH WOAH WOAH- 'Paragon'- that's a big word; what does that mean?" I had to shorted it up for him. Then he declared himself the TRUE hero of that story, pointing out he deserved Belle. Keeping up the flattery, I agreed, saying "a chin-cleft is the TRUE sign of a hero!". As I left, he told me to "Keep spreading the truth!". Thank goodness for Villain Meet & Greets .

I naturally saw at least one person mention the push-ups to him- that thing is now a LEGENDARY YouTube video. However, it's not allowed; you can't touch the ground like that anymore. So he has to awkwardly say "I put too many cracks in the ground!" to anyone who asks now. I noticed this Gaston had some pretty bad skin- his comparative youth probably makes breakouts inevitable (not a lot of Gastons over 23, I think)- there's a lot of stage makeup on him, plus the "fake muscles"- Gastons are cast based off of height as much as anything.

 

[Jabroniville]

So I finally remembered to update this again, lol. Hopefully people are still entertained! Soon I'll post stuff about Universal and Hollywood Studios!

RAPUNZEL: Rapunzel, whose dress is a lot less "flashy" than the other girls' (no Giant Bell-Shaped Dress), but more detailed (as she's from a CGI movie), was fun... but a total chatterbox. Some Princesses are trained to just go off on tangents (like Anna), and WOW she went off. I carry around a little side-satchel with me, and since Flynn's satchel is a big part of his whole "thing" (I guess), before I knew it, she was going on and on (at about a million miles a minute) about how "Flynn got me a satchel for my paints and dadadaa and dadadadada and dadadada..." that I was barely able to keep up. I had to wait until the end of her spiel before I could say ANYTHING, as I'd intended to talk about my friend's little daughter who's OBSESSED with her movie and TV show ("Even though it's TERRIFYING!", as I noted). I can't imagine what it's like to have to talk that fast all day, lol.

TIANA: I met Tiana only once (she shares the room with Rapunzel- I note that they have the "Popular Blonde Princess" meeting alongside the "Minority Princess" in each room, probably for a reason). This was the magical day I wore my Powerline t-shirt (from A Goofy Movie and had a ton of people comment on it- mostly black women, for some reason. And of course TIANA got in on it, too- "I LOVE your shirt!" she declared. I brought up him being a rock star, which led to a thing about Naveen being a jazz musician ("sort of the same thing"), and she mentioned dancing and such, and right before I mentioned that "I have two left feet", she said JUST THAT, but that she was learning. So I had to confess "I was literally JUST about to say that!" and we went into another thing. This girl TOTALLY had the voice down (YouTube videos reveal that most Tianas have mastered that "New Orleans Accent"- people in the comments are always AGOG over them, as most of the Princesses don't have specific vocal cadences they can follow so well). Then I'm pretty sure she addressed me as "handsome" and asked me to come to the next ball.

 

[Jabroniville]

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS (and Pinkeye!):
* Last time I was here, they hadn't quite built the new Harry Potter expansion yet, so this will be a bit of new stuff to see. During my planning phases, I kind of left one day "free", imagining I'd either go to Universal for two days in a row (as I did on my last Florida vacation), or spend another day park-hopping at Disney- I chose the latter, after realizing I'd enjoyed Epcot so much this time around.

Getting here was a bit of a pain, oddly, as my attempts to book a Mears Bus (like last time) went nowhere (their website wouldn't really work for me, and only provided cube vans and the like), and the person at the desk at Pop Century told me I should just get a taxi, since "it would be just as expensive". Ultimately, it took about $40 to get there, and $50 to head back (in some truly AWFUL traffic), which I think is a lot more than a shuttle for one day would cost, isn't it? At least it's a lot more convenient to come and go whenever you feel like it. Though man... I remember two days being "not that excessive" when I was there last time- now, a Park-Hopper was around $170!! So the day ended up being something like $300-400+ in Canadian money, which was a BIT crazy for, you know, just a single day. At least at Disney, I could spread the cost through the entire week.

So spending only one day at the Studios, I decided to get there early-ish (though the HUGE line for tickets resulted in me missing rope-drop by a ways), and head right to the new Harry Potter stuff. Thankfully, this proved to be very excellent- there's a lot of "fakery" involved in getting what is essentially three rows of buildings to look like a large city, but the closed-in nature of everything, the piled-high facades, and the giant DRAGON all made for a big spectacle. No wonder Disney's constantly looking to one-up this stuff. If I was more into Potter stuff, I'd be agog over this, but even so, I was super impressed. Butter Beer tastes like it always does (how I'm not diabetic yet is an eternal question), they have this cool dark hallway where you can see anatomical images of monsters, and there's musical performances and stuff. The talking Goblin dude is an interesting attraction (the person behind the desk has him warn you if you bring food in "Please be careful with your food and drinks..." and has him asking for people's names), there's a "Pet Store", and more. A lot of it goes over my head, but I can always appreciate the work they put into this.

Escape From Gringott's is... fine. I mean, it's a 3D thing with some fast bits, and some "viewing things on screens", which isn't really my thing anymore, but it's fine. As a solo rider, I can walk on basically whenever (I rode it twice at all hours, and basically walked on both times). The plot's kinda lame, and there's less physically in front of you as there is at Hogwart's, but otherwise it's okay. The whole "you have to put your stuff into lockers" nannying is honestly more annoying than anything else, and kept me from riding it again. I rode the Hogwart's thing once and kind of skimmed this go-around of the Wizarding World in the old set-up, though I rode the train between the two. That was kind of a LOT of walking and running around for very little "attraction", so the next time I park-hopped, I just walked to the regular entrance.

This thing was SO AWESOME, but I could never get a good picture because of the glare from the glass.

The King Kong ride is basically "Another Lame Rollicking 3D Screen Simulator", which I rode easily using Single Rider, but the part with the Kong animatronic is EXCELLENT. Just amazing, state-of-the-art work, and something I'm way more into. I'd have ridden this a ton of times, but they closed Single Rider after a point, and I wasn't waiting 40+ minutes after that. I also did the mandatory Jurassic Park ride once, Transformers & Spider-Man. I rode the Fast & The Furious thing, and WOW was that lame. Weirdly fake screens of people awkwardly dancing and the cast snarking, then a ludicrously over-the-top insult to physics of a chase scene? How could anyone have survived ANY of that? Oh well- it's dumb but entertainingly so.

Having only one day, I skipped a LOT of stuff I'd already ridden- the Simpsons, Shrek, Men In Black, The Mummy (I was gonna, but again... lockers), and more. I kind of just... enjoyed the scenery a little bit more, as opposed to cramming everything in. I actually enjoyed the ET ride more this time than before, appreciating how aged it was. Sooooooooooooo old. It's great fun that way.

I wonder... do the people working in here ever get sick of that song? They just repeat the same bars over and over again!

I feel like I should have gone to "Mythos" as a restaurant, because it smelled INSANELY good in there. Great scenery all around in that place. I listened to the snarky fountain for a bit in that one Island nobody hangs around in (my sister was SO MAD when she waited in line forever only to see a random show in an "effects room"). I skipped over the Kiddie Islands, but had fun in the shops around there- how many kids know what Gasoline Alley is? Because they even named a shop after it here! I saw a Betty Boop Face Character, with a huge security guard at the end of the line, looking serious as heck. It's pretty funny, actually, but given the much more "young adult" clientele of this park, and the nature of Betty's, um... garments... I can believe them being needed.

I do get a kick out of Disney properties being heavily featured in a Universal theme park... especially because these are the most DATED versions ever! Iron Man hasn't worn that outfit in 25 years! The X-Men debuted those looks in *1992*! It's hilarious!

Right near park closing, I saw some dumb teenager get into trouble with park security, as he'd gotten into it with a cashier about something, then a plainclothes female guard showed up to talk to him. He did some "Do you WORK HERE?" thing, necessitating her showing him the badge... and more guys showed up. And more. And more. And finally he was surrounded by like seven people, who escorted him out of the park ("YOUR park?" he taunted. "Yeah, it's OUR park, because we WORK here!" she responded). Funny how quickly they can get there- sure a notch better than at Disneyland.

The only unfortunate thing was an itchy eye thing that was bothering me a little bit most of the day. Rubbing it occasionally, and of course swapping eyes to rub... I eventually realized what was going on. Eye grossness formed, redness of the eyes... yup- PINK EYE. If only I could figure out how I managed to get pinkeye while spending a week in theme parks filled with hundreds of thousands of people! This would only get worse throughout the vacation, though thankfully the pain went away and was replaced with me being unable to see when I got up in the morning, lol.

Ultimately, I was left satisfied, but a bit "Well, I've seen all this before". A couple of new rides, and some great scenery, but I was almost bored at points. The City Walk area looks terrific, though, and is probably as big a lure for the younger adults of Orlando- I noticed way more 15-25 year olds and partiers around, and it's clearly advertised towards them, with Disney World being more full of kids, families, and older people. I was ultimately left with the feeling of "should I bother coming back here again?", because... it's REALLY expensive to even make a day of it here, because you have to pay the fare to get to the Studios from WDW, then pay to get in for only a single day, which was a LOT more than I was expecting. Nobody goes to Florida to expect a cheap vacation, but when it's $300 cheaper to spend a day at DISNEY, you know it's nuts.

 

[Jabroniville]

I love this dinosaur. Such a cute reference to ancient animation. In 2015, when I read the plaque about it, the guy behind the counter came out and did it too, pointing out that "I've been working her for three years, and never once read this before".

HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS:
* aka: "This sucks- I wanna go back to EPCOT"

-So this park's generally a notorious "Half-Day" park, especially as at this point, it hadn't opened the "Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge" expansion. However, I greatly enjoyed it the first time I'd visited, as it's the most "Museum-like" of the Parks, and has a lot of stuff to read. However, this go around proved a bit less exciting, though I DID get to see the Frozen Sing-Along. Part of the issue is since I'd read all the stuff before, the appeal wasn't quite as strong, and I think the Animation building was closed or being renovated or something like that.

Star Tours was the same old stuff again- I don't recall getting anything new.

The bearded guy is the kookiest narrator, lol.

The Frozen Sing-Along is great fun- I saw it twice, seeing each "pairing" of hosts, who comment along with the movie on screens. I guess fans have their preferences over which group is better- one lady made a big show of how much she lusted after Hans (doing something the kids call "flossing"). There's some great in-jokes when they re-watch bits from the movie, like when Elsa reveals her powers outside, and Arendelle freaks out ("Except for THIS guy" the male narrator points out, with a big guy just smiling politely while everyone else is terrified, "He's like, EVERYTHING IS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN!"). There's a HILARIOUS bit where one of the male narrators was singing along to Love is an Open Door with the most psychotic look on his face ever. In the finale, Elsa & Anna come out with Kristoff and they of course do Let It Go while the theater is full of "soapy ice" or whatever that is. Overall it's fun and a good people-eater, as a hundred+ come out. It's always weird to me that someone dresses up as Elsa and does this pantomime 5-6 times a day and that's their job, but I guess it looks fun on a resume, lol.

I visited Toy Story Land for the first time ever- skipping Midway Magic since the lines are always nuts and I've done it before- it's OKAY, but hardly life-altering. You just shoot stuff at screens. I made a particular mistake with this vacation, though- my FastPass window had opened up more quickly than I thought it would (62 days in advance or something, not 60), so I rapidly made my selections without double-checking my planning. A few days later, I figured on changing my day for the Studios, and went with another, as I had the wrong day for the "Extra Magic Hours"- this meant that I lost my FastPass for Slinky Dog Dash, the hottest thing in the park at the time. This was unfortunate, but I figured I could just get in early and do it that way, or wait until later... well, turns out they had some "Special Morning Thing" or whatever that was limited release, so I literally walked into a SEVENTY-MINUTE WAIT, right at rope-drop, because I guess people were there already? I didn't notice that on my calendar at all.

By this point, I'd at least figured I'd be returning to Disney World VERY soon since I'd been having so much fun (perhaps assuming that the world would never change, lol) so I'd just make it for the next trip. Or wait until later. But the next time I tried to get in line for it (the wait had shrunk significantly, to 45 minutes or so)... it was WAY too hot out. I mean, an uncovered queue with almost nothing blocking you, and no fans... the Florida sun was just devastating, so there was no way I wanted to wait that long just for a kiddie-coaster, no matter how good it was. It looks neat, but I figured "next time will be fine", as eventually I was getting bored of the place.

Alien Swirling Saucers is fun- very cool seeing all the little saucers "detach" and then hook up to other platforms with that mechanical precision. It's an obvious "side-attraction" and not a big deal, but it's neat.

I saw Voyage of the Little Mermaid again- it's extremely dated but still cute. The Ariel legitimately sings, so this is a more prominent "Professional Actor" thing. I would hope that person makes more than the regular Face Characters. This is one of the only places you'll see Prince Eric, too. I eventually went to see the final showing of the Beauty and the Beast thing, as I was doing ALL the Live Shows that day... and after a 20-minute delay, they just announced that "today's performance... will NOT take place" so we all had to bail. This was about the time I was getting sick of the place, lol.

I love the detailed sets in the museum.

Walt Disney Presents is still good, but again- it's the "Museum" part I'd already read through. Aerosmith's Rock 'n' Rollercoaster is good as always, and never seems to have a line for such a thrill-ride. I dunno- it's always available for FastPass, but I find you can just walk on every single time.

Twilight Zone Tower of Terror is probably the best overall attraction in the park at this point, and I had a FastPass for 6-ish... but around noon, I was KIND of getting bored and just wanted to go back to EPCOT. My Frozen fandom was quite pronounced, as y'all know, and that's where the good stuff was. This was my last day at Disney World, so I wanted to do the stuff I'd had MOST fun doing, and I was like "well, next year" for everything else. I didn't want to get to EPCOT around 7-8 pm when it was almost done, so I just left my FastPass and took the bus to EPCOT. I mean, while this is the best of the Towers, I'd ridden it in FOUR PARKS by that point, so what was one more trip?

The Skyliner- opening soon!

So ehhhhhh... this park kind of had a failing grade for me. Them taking out The Great Movie Ride was awful, because I thought that was a lot of fun, and a cute look at movie history, as dated as the animatronics were. Why demolish THAT to put in a new ride? YOU HAD TONS OF SPACE!! This place definitely needed the Star Wars push it was getting. Though I liked the shows I saw (I saw Frozen twice, obvs), you can't actually see everything in a day and still have time for other stuff (I STILL haven't seen the Indiana Jones one, or whatever that other stunt one was- I think it's gone now).

So of course I left for EPCOT, having a blast there again, as it's become my favorite American Disney Park, and possibly my favorite overall. I don't regret it, but of course certain events have made "ah well, I'll come back next year" just a little bit more hard to attain. I'd had my Slinky Dog AND Mickey's Railroad FastPasses sorted out, and I was SET to head to the Studios early on two days to ensure boarding passes while planning to go to EPCOT later on each day... but nope. Probably have to wait till November or even the next year. Oh well.

 

[EatMoreVeg]

I was looking into renting DVC points- it seems like you can get good hotels (AK Lodge is one I'm curious about) for NEAR-value resort prices... maybe STILL rich for my blood (solo travel takes a lot more out of the pocket book, lol), and the whole "they might cancel at any time" thing would probably set off my anxiety, but it's something to think about.

The Le Cellier experience was so sad. I was like "... this is GOOD, but I can literally get this at The Keg for $30, and NOT have to book it six months in advance!"

Hello also from Edmonton!

Totally know what you mean by this! But still, everyone raves about Le Cellier steak so much it makes me wonder if I’m missing out on something. I tried it during Food & Wine last year and glad I did that instead of booking a reservation at the restaurant. $8 good? Probably. $40 good? Nope. Especially in American dollars!!!

I have only stayed value/moderate too, but am a recent DVC owner (resale) so am looking forward trying out the deluxe resorts next time I’m down...which is who knows when with this craziness going on