I've Become one of *Those* moms. ~SIGH~

[creativeamanda]

My daughter had an allergic reaction to a latex rubberband last week. Well, this is my letter to the principal, teacher, coordinator of special services, nurse, and superintendent:

To whom it may concern:

Last week, I contacted the school regarding Courtney’s allergy to latex. Although this allergy seems simple and not seriously threatening, every allergic reaction Courtney has had has resulted in a more serious reaction. Also, most children with latex allergies also have allergic reactions to bananas. This is the case for Courtney and was listed on her data sheet at the beginning of the school year, as well as in a note to Ms. (nurse). Just to be certain, this is the current history of Courtney’s allergies:

Infancy—contact with bananas caused severe colic
Ages 2-3—Use of pacifiers with latex caused cold-like symptoms
Age 3—Dentist touched her face with a latex glove—resulted in an appearance of being slapped
Age 5—bandaid containing latex caused blister in area it was placed—Dr. ________ first tells us she has a latex allergy and connects earlier reactions to an allergy
Age 6—Banana caused body rash—latex allergy finally linked with banana problems
Age 8 (Christmas)—Courtney is given a balloon. She blows it up and immediately she has blisters in her mouth
Age 8(last week)—contact with rubber bands causes hives on body

As you can see, her reactions are becoming progressively worse, and I am concerned that the school officials are not taking this matter seriously. Last week, when I called Mrs. _______ regarding the matter, she excused it by saying there were substitutes in the room. I want to make it clear that if she were to have a serious reaction, the defense that there were substitutes in charge of Courtney would not be a good defense. Regardless of who is in charge of her, that person should be well aware of her allergies and as a parent, I should feel safe in leaving her at school. Further, I felt that Courtney was being blamed for the reaction—that she should have known better than touch the rubber band. In teaching for 13 years, I have rarely had a moment where an 8 year old thought about every action they took every moment of the day. As adults in a classroom or therapy setting, it is our job to look out for the safety of each individual child in the room. I discussed her allergy with Dr. ________ last week, who prescribed an EpiPen Jr for exposure to latex. This is to be used in case of exposure to latex and if it is used, Dan or I should be immediately contacted following Dr. ______ at __________. I cannot stress enough how important this is.

Further, I would also like to request that a 504 Plan be written to address this matter. Section 504 of the Americans with Disabilities Act covers latex allergies. Alternately, nursing services could be added to her IEP as a supplementary service. Either way, I expect a 504 meeting or IEP meeting to be scheduled to discuss this matter. Courtney also has exercised-induced asthma, which was diagnosed during the fall of 2006 by Deborah ____, the nurse practitioner who works in Dr. _____’s office. A new inhaler is also being sent to school for Courtney. With the weather becoming warmer and the chance of increased exercise, I ask that she be allowed to keep her inhaler with her.

Some objects to keep away from Courtney:
1. NO bananas or banana pudding—even on her tray at lunch. Persons with latex allergies notoriously have problems with bananas.
2. At the time, we have seen no reactions from pencil erasers. This is possibly because her erasers do not have latex or there is not enough for her to have a reaction at this time.
3. Rubber bands
4. Plastic fruits and toys
5. Plastic bracelets and watches
6. Latex gloves and band-aids containing latex
7. Believe it or not—tires

I also want to mention here that Courtney stated she was helping a 3 year old in speech, which makes me question why she had to help a 3 year old during her speech time. Through some investigating, I was able to ascertain that there was indeed a 3 year old child being served in speech the same time as Courtney. Not only is this not appropriate, but also I was concerned that if Courtney was helping him say the /k/ sound, was she actually being served in speech during this time? If this is the case, I must request that an additional 30 minutes be added to Courtney’s compensatory time, as it is evident that she was not being appropriately served. I do not ask that she be served by herself, but I do ask that she be served in a small group setting with age appropriate peers at school. A group of 7 year olds or a group of 9 year olds with her may be considered age appropriate, but a 3 year old is not. I don’t ask for Courtney to receive optimal services, but I do ask that she receive appropriate services. The 3 year old in question’s parent allowed me to look at his IEP objectives and I found none similar to Courtney’s.

If the school does not have latex free bandages, please let me know and I will be more than happy to provide some for Courtney. However, since the school has at least one teacher with a latex allergy (Mrs. _______), these should be readily available. I also trust that her Epipen will be only used by her and that if an emergency situation comes up where her pen must be used on another student, that that student or the school replace the pen. Finally, I hope all scheduling concerns regarding speech for Courtney be rectified soon. As I have stated at least three times prior now, I have questioned whether or not Courtney even received services during the 04-05, 05-06, and 06-07 school years on a regular basis and it is certain that she did not receive appropriate services all this school year. I expect her to receive the services she is entitled to.

Feel free to call me if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
_________

*SIGH* I hate being one of those parents, but I am fed up with this school.

 

[ireland_nicole]

Amanda;
I can only imagine how frustrated and concerned you must be right now; sending hugs your way
Nicole

 

[mazz1]

you sound like me, i'm one of those mums too ok so it's frustrating but if you are not going to fight for your child then who is?

i like being the mum i am, i'm a very different parent today from the shy one who sat many years ago and just listened to hear of staff slamming my child onto a chair until she became bruised to make her behave and i believed it when they said she was out of control and i was a bad mother, my daughter was 4 and was diagnosed just months after this meeting, i'm was so helpless not knowing how to make things better for her back then

now with two diagnosed autistic children (my son is autistic too) i've become stronger wiser and a lot more vocal and that's not a bad thing, some things change your life forever

with my son about to start a new school with a new headteacher i gathered all my support together and with a agenda about classroom placement i set out to make it very clear to the new school that i was "one of those mums"

the outcome is they take James's needs very seriously and his IEP and support is set in stone

during the meeting the headteacher made a comment about me being a "demanding mother" to which i responded that there may be a mistake in his choice of words i looked straight at him as said Mr V i think you will find i'm not a demanding mother at all but more of a "informed" one who knows what my child is entitled too and accepts nothing less than what is best for him which is the very reason we are all meeting here today, i then suggested that perhaps for the minutes we could agree that, he squirmed for a moment and agreed saying he doesn't come across many mums like me

it became very clear early on with my children that everything education wise is down to funding and if i didn't fight for my childrens additional needs to be met then they wouldn't be

and to think i use to be sooooo shy

 

[Schmeck]

You are NOT one of 'those' moms at all - I've had to deal with a few of 'those' moms, and you are not like them at all! You have genuine concerns and fears, and you rletter states very clearly that you do not expect special treatment, just fair and safe treatment of your daughter's allergies and needs.

I wish you the best of luck and ~~~ positive vibes that your school gets the point that latex allergies are serious and deadly.

 

[WheeledTraveler]

Good luck!

I agree with the people who say you're not being "one of those moms". You're being proactive when there's an obvious problem.

I do want to point out that I think in some places not allowing kids to hold their own medication (including inhalers) may be a legal thing, not just a school rule. I know when I was elementary and middle school no student was allowed to have medication or inhalers with them (heck, we weren't even supposed to keep things like advil in our lockers in middle school for cramps, but they couldn't give it out either... you can imagine how well that rule was followed).

 

[mechurchlady]

Your are on of those mothers definitely, one of those mothers who love their child and is tired of repeatedly having to remind people about things. I get tired of repeating over and over my allergies to the same manager over and over. You are doing what needs to be done and that is clearly explaining the severity of your child's allergies. I bet if she was allergic to peanuts then she would get special treatment and the school would care more. You did the right thing.

A while back on this board I was researching on latex allergies and found this post at another site

http://www.allearsnet.com/pl/latex.htm

http://www.allearsnet.com/pl/latex2.htm

Foods that are likely to cause reactions:
Bananas, Kiwi, Avocado, Chestnuts, and in many (but not all) cases, Pineapple.

 

[jodifla]

I'm not sure why you are mixing the speech issue with the allergy issue.


And it's common to pair kids in therapy, or to do group therapy. Unless you've sat in on one of the sessions, you can't be sure it's not appropriate.

I'd ask why they are doing this without mudding up the waters in your allergy letter.

 

[creativeamanda]

I'm not sure why you are mixing the speech issue with the allergy issue.


And it's common to pair kids in therapy, or to do group therapy. Unless you've sat in on one of the sessions, you can't be sure it's not appropriate.

I'd ask why they are doing this without mudding up the waters in your allergy letter.

I'm mixing speech in because the whole thing happened in speech. My children (all three of them) went 12 weeks without speech this year and we are taking our kids in for compensatory services at a private therapist. So the speech (since it has been an ongoing issue all year) is an issue. Courtney has three other students in her class receiving speech. This district (when I taught there) had a habit of putting 4 year old in the same class as 14 year olds not because it was appropriate, but because they had scheduling issues. My last year there (I was a special education teacher then, a special education coordinator now), I had 22 kids (oldest 14, youngest 4) in a self-contained classroom. I refused to sign their IEPs and left.

 

[Earstou]

I'm not sure why you are mixing the speech issue with the allergy issue.
And it's common to pair kids in therapy, or to do group therapy. Unless you've sat in on one of the sessions, you can't be sure it's not appropriate.

I'd ask why they are doing this without mudding up the waters in your allergy letter.

I would guess the OP did it because they are BOTH school issues!

In speech, they usually work at attaining the sounds appropriate for the age. So. for example, let's say that typical children attain the "L" sound at age 5 (not a speech therapist-this is just a made-up example for illustration). Having a 3 and 8 yr old working on L would not be appropriate. If the 8 yr old was very far behind in acquiring sounds, then the 8 yr old would work on L, but the 3 yr old is too young to work on it yet.
In the school system, the 3 yr old has probably just started speech services this year, and this is the 8 yr olds 4th year. So...having a 3 yr old with an 8 yr old could seem questionable.

 

[mechurchlady]

I had breakfast and then read the letter again. The main concern is the allergies but how can a child be protected from allergic reactions if that child is not being properly monitored. If the child is helping toddlers instead of being taught then what other short cuts are the people in charge of her taking. It is rather obvious that someone in the speech department allowed a child to touch something it was not allowed to touch, a rubber band.

I stand by my original opinion that the letter is a very good one.

 

[mazz1]

i'm lost by one of those mums do you mean the type of mum who stands up for her child and accepts nothing less than her right to a good standard of care and education because if so then i'm one of those

now who and what are the others mums? you have me baffled

 

[BeckyScott]

Yep, at some point we all Cross Over To The Dark Side.

 

[jodifla]

I'm mixing speech in because the whole thing happened in speech. My children (all three of them) went 12 weeks without speech this year and we are taking our kids in for compensatory services at a private therapist. So the speech (since it has been an ongoing issue all year) is an issue. Courtney has three other students in her class receiving speech. This district (when I taught there) had a habit of putting 4 year old in the same class as 14 year olds not because it was appropriate, but because they had scheduling issues. My last year there (I was a special education teacher then, a special education coordinator now), I had 22 kids (oldest 14, youngest 4) in a self-contained classroom. I refused to sign their IEPs and left.

Geez...12 weeks without speech! That's terrible.

And it sounds like you are in tune with that school system and their weak points.

Hope it all gets worked out to your satisfaction.

 

[MarieS]

I just returned home from my oldest son's IEP and I'm drained. I hate having to push for everything. I think they would be content to just let my son sit in his wheelchair all day and watch. Sigh.

Don't worry about being thought of as one of "those" moms. You were polite but firm. Our kids need us to advocate for them. I agree with the previous poster about not being a "demanding" mother but an informed one.

Hope you can get this worked out soon!

 

[LauraVV]

My daughter had an allergic reaction to a latex rubberband last week.

My daughter, almost 10, is homeschooled due to her latex allergy. I have a lot of information that's easily available and understandable that I could email you if you would like. If you're interested please send private message. I also made a power point document for schools. Just let me know if you'd like it.

We live in a rural area and have volunteer 911. Our last straw, after a week of daily hives and asthma attacks, was when I dropped by the school to see if they left her in classroom by herself as she stated, and found her in the office covered in hives. She wasn't breathing well and was complaining of nausea. They acted like nothing at all was wrong. She was in office because the gym floor was covered in latex and the other kids were in the gym. She later told me they'd put itch cream on her earlier in the day. In IL you have to have signed permission even for tylenol and, believe me, they didn't have permission for itch cream.

I authored the Power Point and am a nurse.

 

[creativeamanda]

I recieved this reply from the principal:

When you contacted me last week at 4:30 in the afternoon, I told you that we did have some substitutes in the building and that maybe the sub did not know. However, you told me that it did not happen with a substitute. You told me that it happened in speech. I told you that I would talk with the teacher as well as the speech therapist to make certain they are aware of her condition. I also asked you if Courtney knew if she should be handling rubber bands, etc. I think it is important for a child to also know the kinds of objects they should avoid. I in no way stated that she should be responsible for this, but just aware of things she should try to avoid. I spoke with the regular classroom teacher the next morning and she stated that she would inform the speech teacher when she came to pick Courtney up for her next session. Based on the information you sent in the e-mail, this is the first and only time she has had contact with latex here at school. Our teachers and staff strive very hard to make sure all students receive appropriate care while they are present at school.

I was very preturbed with her to begin with in the flippant manner when I called last week. I think they looked up her allergy today and found that it is indeed as serious as I stated.

Then the nurse:

I understand your concerns about the severity of latex allergies. I do have latex free bandages in my office just for Courtney. As for her allergy to bananas, you will need to supply the school with a note from Courtney's doctor explaining that she has special dietary needs. Courtney does come to my office daily either before recess or PE to receive a treatment from her inhaler. I was given the inhaler and epipen that you left at school for Courtney today. For the time being I will keep all of Courtney's medication locked in my office until we address this at her next IEP or 504 meeting. If you have any more questions or concerns please call me at

Although I've provided this letter once, I will provide them with another copy.

Then, the special education coordinator called and was oh so nice. (She was happy I did not call the state department again to file a complaint--I have before). She agreed that a 504 Plan should be written for Courtney and I waived 7 day notice. The meeting is Wednesday. I have requested, of course, that the teacher, nurse, principal be there. Our pediatrician cannot leave the office because he's the only one there on Wednesdays but has agreed to attend via conference call. He is so wonderful.

Wish me luck.

 

[mechurchlady]

Not one word of apology from the principal.

They are lucky that she did not have to go to the hospital. They sure are flippant about it being one time. All it takes is one time. They sure do not get the ramifications of allergies.

hugs
chin up
keep fighting

Laurie

 

[creativeamanda]

Not one word of apology from the principal.

They are lucky that she did not have to go to the hospital. They sure are flippant about it being one time. All it takes is one time. They sure do not get the ramifications of allergies.

hugs
chin up
keep fighting

Laurie

Nope, not one. I wasn't surprised. When I worked for her, I hated her then, too.

 

[BeckyScott]

As for her allergy to bananas, you will need to supply the school with a note from Courtney's doctor explaining that she has special dietary needs.

Is this something legally required? We didn't need this.

When we took Justin gfcf, we didn't have a doctor's note for it. I met with his teacher for about 10 minutes, she'd had other kids who were gfcf so she pretty much knew the drill. Bottom line was that they don't give him anything to eat, nothing, I'll send stuff. I even had the para call me one day when Justin left his lunchbox in our car (down on the floorboard where I didn't notice) and she was sure he was supposed to bring a lunch and was concerned since he didn't have a lunchbox that day. And all that was just me talking to them, at that point I didn't have any documentation to back me up.

We have documentation now, and the school has a copy, but even that, he didn't test "allergic" to wheat. I also gave them the list of gfcf school supplies and they've been very good about that too, I was willing to supply specific stuff for him but it's stuff they already had so no biggie. His OT has contacted me to check on specific stuff she uses.

If they hadn't been cooperative, I certainly could have gotten a doctor's note. She's written them before.

Perhaps part of it is that Justin does have a para, and while she's not solely responsible for him, she's not trying to keep track of 30 kids by herself and she can keep an eye on him better? I'd get a note though, keep a copy, and let them know when you take it to the school that you did keep a copy so that if there is ever another problem you'll have proof of proper documentation when you go to your lawyer. And I'd carry a disposable camera with you too, and whip that baby out if she so much as has a scrape and take a picture right there in the office. If you're gonna become one of "those" moms, you might as well cross over all the way.

DH and I have developed a "good cop bad cop" approach to the schools. I'm the IEP-meeting, done-the-research, understand-the-test-scores, play nice Mom. But assertive. DH comes in when it's time to blow up the battleship. He's only gotten involved a couple of times but the schools know when he shows up that we're fed up and not playing nice any more. With us, it seems to be the school nurses. The last school we were at, he got in an argument with the school nurse, and the next day *someone* hotlined us to Child Protective Services. Whatever, lady.

 

[Talking Hands]

My daughter had an allergic reaction to a latex rubberband last week. Well, this is my letter to the principal, teacher, coordinator of special services, nurse, and superintendent:



*SIGH* I hate being one of those parents, but I am fed up with this school.

Please have it written into you child's IEP or 504 plan if she has one or give it to the school in writing that you require all subs who work with your child to be informed of her allergy. Very often subs are not informed when there is a child with allergies, diabetes, epilepsy, etc in the classroom and it makes them very unprepared to help your child in an emergency. Because of HIPPA the school claims they cannot inform subs. You will have to insist that it be done and you may have to even have a lawyer write a letter to the school informing them the school is to do this.