Is your family on board with budgeting?

[MissDaisyofTexas]

I'm not on this board much but have been thinking about financial goals for 2011.

So a question for you all is......is your family on board with your budgeting and cost-cutting measures?

I do the finances in our household and if it weren't for me we'd probably be in loads of debt. My DH is in the habit of buying things that he thinks we "needs" all the time. It's so hard to reign him in!

Anyone else in this situation, and how do you deal with it?

 

[tinkarooni]

Dh is on board with me but I do all the finances and I hate being the "bad guy" sometimes. I hate having to tell him we can't afford that right now, we need to wait until next year and things like that. He doesn't give me a hard time about it but I wish I didn't have to do it.

Sometimes I go into uber-frugality mode and Dh, DD and DS think I've gone a little crazy but for the most part they humor me.

 

[pigletto]

We are, but it was small changes over time that made it easier on everyone.
Once we saw what we were saving it became easier and easier to get everyone working on the same goal.
For example we love vacations. By shaving the budget in several areas we realized we could go away more often, if we were willing to not eat out every week e.t.c.

 

[averill94]

No my DH is not on board at all. Very frustrating! One person cannot do it.

I save a dime and he spends a dollar (that we don't have)

Good luck to you!

 

[DawnM]

Ask if he would be willing to take a class with you. DH and I teach Crown Financial at church at least once per year. We have a saying that one spouse is the *druger* dragging their spouse to class and the other is the *drugee*.

I think it is rare for two people to just automatically get on board together, it takes a lot of communication and many times, a class of some sort, to get both on the same page.

It did for us. DH went to the class without me first because I told him finances weren't my thing! Then when he wanted to teach it they told him his wife would have to take the class first! So, I agree.....I got on board too and we have been living much better ever since!

Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University has much less Christian content than Crown Financial, but the idea is very similar.

Dawn

 

[indimom]

We are both "essentially" on board. But, I am the chief financial officer and am the only one who really understands the ins and outs. Which means I'm the one stressing when we have unexpected bills or he is asking for something I know we really can't afford right now. He never argues or spends when I tell him we don't have the funds, but I don't particularly like being in that position.
In some ways he is more frugal than me so it bothers me that he doesn't help track the income/outgo, I think we would save even more if he did.
I made him promise last week that he will sit down with me every Saturday to go over the bills/income so that he will have a better idea of where we stand financially and where we are going. I really think it will make a big difference for us to not only both be on board, but also actively taking part in the decision making process day to day.

 

[amyy]

My husband is not on board. i will say the one thing that "got" to him recently was when I bought a bag of dozen chicken breast, cooked them in the crock pot and froze them. We saved about 75% from buying small packages in the store.

 

[Marionnette]

I'm not on this board much but have been thinking about financial goals for 2011.

So a question for you all is......is your family on board with your budgeting and cost-cutting measures?

I do the finances in our household and if it weren't for me we'd probably be in loads of debt. My DH is in the habit of buying things that he thinks we "needs" all the time. It's so hard to reign him in!

Anyone else in this situation, and how do you deal with it?

In a sense, yes. My husband is very much the saver in our family. But he is less likely to get on board with cost cutting. Ive started hanging the laundry to dry rather than running the dryer. And then he will turn around and run a half full dishwasher.

He is also more likely to buy what he wants when he wants it rather than waiting to find a sale.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Nope. My husband thinks money grows on trees. When husband did the finances our debt went up. He is a spender.

I took over the finances nearly 6 years ago and have enjoyed watching our debt drop.

 

[Colleen27]

DH is on board in theory, but has a harder time sticking to it in practice. Probably because he has a lot more opportunity to go off budget, since he's out and about most days and I tend to stick close to home unless I have a reason to go somewhere. And the one thing that drives me the craziest - he hasn't had any success at quitting smoking, despite multiple attempts, and isn't at all motivated to try again. That spending habit really irks me!

 

[minnie1928]

My DH is on board for the big picture and most of the little things too. But, I'm definitely the more frugal one. I line dry the laundry while he pays for expedited shipping for his internet purchases.

He likes seeing our assets increase as much as I do. We're down to just the mortgage, but it's so large we don't see us making any serious dents in it before the kids enter college. So, instead of attacking the debt we are instead building our assets up in order to help fund college.

 

[sk!mom]

Ask if he would be willing to take a class with you. DH and I teach Crown Financial at church at least once per year. /QUOTE]


Your mention of Crown Financial sounded familiar so I googled it. Back in the early 90's, DH and I started listening to Larry Burkett on the radio. Before that time, we knew that we were very uncomfortable with debt but the idea of living debt free was completely foriegn to us. We both grew up in houses where financial crises and stress was a way of life. It was a relevation to us that people with average incomes could live without debt.

Sorry to go off topic, to the OP, is there any way to get your DH involved? Dh and I share our financial goals. I must admit that since he's an accountant, he does the majority of the actual "work" of our finances. He updates Quicken, actually files our taxes, etc... We both are wll aware of our goals and what we can afford. We don't really have a budget. We save and then decide together what to spend on.

 

[mjantz]

Yes, for the most part. We're both 'spenders' to a degree but not to the extent that many are. One thing I have found helped us keep control is that we talk about the small things. If I'm going to buy a gift for someone to put back, I'll text him & let him know so that when he sees that $30 charge at the store he knows what that is.
We've gotten the kids on board too. Being able to travel as much as we have because of our frugal nature helps the kids get onboard.

 

[JaymeC]

My kids are too young to really understand, and dh is onboard though maybe in different ways would be the best way to explain it? I should first say background wise I'm an accountant and he's in school to study finance So budgeting arguments can be FUN at our house He usually does the quicken updates and the like, so he sees the money going out more. I do more of the major purchases since I'm the one who does the grocery store runs, etc.

Neither of us is bad about spending unnecessarily, but I see the pennies falling through the cracks better than he does. I think that's just because I was a SAHM for 5 years though, and did what I could to save money. My 'system' of sorts was built up over the years, so I see more of it than he does. He'll be SAH with the kids now, so I'm trusting he'll figure it out as well

Needless to say I think I'm very lucky to have someone who is naturally on the same level as myself in this regard

 

[diznee25]

My DH and I seem to work pretty well together when it comes to our finances. But one idea I've seen others do is to make a "Fun Money" category. Each person is allotted a certain amount of $$ per month to spend however they want. But once it's gone, it's gone. You'll get a refill the next month. (It could be $20, $30, or may $50 per month per person. However much your comfortable with.)

I thought about implementing this idea for us since we're paying down debt and give each of us $30 per month. Then my DH could go buy that DVD that he wants, and I won't get stressed about it!

diznee25

 

[annsteere]

Allowance or "fun money" has saved our marriage a lot of stress.

We each get $20 per week. Mine gets socked away for treats like a vacation or as savings. I put my saved allowance in a personal account--not available to DH for spending. DH spends his on the impulse splurges that used to make me crabby. Now, I just say "well, if you have the allowance. . . "

 

[snowywhite89]

We both agree on saving but I am more of a spender than DH. He has very few wants and simple needs. I have more wants than he does. Luckily I am budget minded and I hate clutter so I don't just spend, spend and spend. We think we have a happy median for us.

 

[StitchBuddy]

My husband and I are both very goal oriented type A personalities. So for the most part we agree on finances. That doesn't mean we haven't made some blunders. But, thankfully because we have been frugal most of our married life we were able to survive when tough situations such as lay-offs or having to sell our house at a huge lose have happened. We are getting to an age though where we are a little tired of being so frugal (we are going to be 50 in less than 2 years). So we are really trying to get all our ducks in a row and save, save, save for retirement.

 

[dyna]

Yes he is now but he wasn't always...there was a time when DH could work as many hours as he wanted an more often 80+ hrs weekly not by choice. As he got older an did not feel like working as much he cut back on spending then as he thought about retiring spent even less.

We both on the budget plan now but in different ways DH will spend 30 mins buying bread to get the best deal on bread, trying to talk himself into buying a brand that is 10 cents cheaper that he doesn't like as well. Never wants to shop thrift stores or garage sales...never even thinks about buying 2nd hand clothing.

Me I'm going to the store buying the bread I like an shopping the 2nd hand stores an garage sales wearing someone else's clothing always check the near by thrift stores before buying new clothing. Shopping the garage sales tho with the cost of gas the past few yrs I've cut way down on traveling to the garage sales.

 

[cheshireqt]

Yes and No. He is on board for the most part. We have an amount that we can both spend without discussion but we also have a set amount where a purchase must be discussed. He is good about communicating those wants so no complaints there. I do the finances and and have to say no periodically, because he is a "I want it therefore I need it" buyer. It is how he was raised so we don't fight about it, I just point out our goals, what we have already spent, and ask him to wait until next month, or next week, depending. Sometimes he still "needs" it and sometimes he doesn't. BUT he periodically checks the accounts, something we agreed he should do, to know where everything is and gets excited about the accumulated savings. Then watch out. He wants a new car, a boat, etc, etc.