Is your faith ever tested?

[MickeysMommy]

Back in 1987 my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer (very early stage, had very low dose of chemo and did great). He was in his early 50's.

The year before, my uncle, my favorite relative, died from brain cancer after a very long battle. He was also in his early 50's.

October 1999, my mother's uncle fell off a ladder while trimming a tree, went into a coma and a month later, died. March of 2000 my grandpa had a massive heart attack and died. (Quick death we were grateful - if you can be grateful for such a thing. He was 89). Also that month, we had to put my 21 year old cat to sleep (ugh, killed me. He was my baby). And, my mom had successful back surgery.

Last year my dad was diagnosed with another form of cancer, multiple myeloma. This past Thursday, my mom had the first of two knee replacements. We just got word yesterday that my dad's blood test for his PSA level was sky high.

When does it end?

How much does one person or one family have to go through? I know there are people out there far worse off than ours. I know that every day my parents get up and put there feet on the floor is another day I am blessed. But when is enough enough?

I'm only 29 years old and I feel like I'm 100. I've been staying with my dad since mom went in for her surgery because now with his cancer he also has congestive heart failure and someone has to be with him just in case.

It makes you wonder. It tests my faith. We go to church every Sunday. We say our prayers. When do we get a break?

 

[EsmeraldaX]

 

[Kimickey]

My faith is tested EVERDAY! More times than I would care to have it tested. It makes us stronger as christians and children in Christ. Just think anytime you have a problem don't forget to talk to Him, he has all of you answers. Lay your concerns, hurt, frustration or whatever on him and he will lift the burdeon if you allow him.

If you want to talk off line PM me and I'm here for you.



Kim

 

[luckywife]

So sorry for all you've been through and all you're going through now. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

 

[aimee11621]

Health problems never stop . We just do what we can as we watch our parents/loved ones get older and up in their years. Your support and BEING there for them is what you can best do.

Death is something we have to deal with. Cancer has also struck our family three times. I too am greatful for another day on this planet with both my parents. Most are not so lucky.

What keeps me going is BELIEVING that we all will be together AGAIN. When our loved ones die they are going to be better off then we are!

 

[mrsltg]

Instead of asking "Why Me?", the better question is always "Why Not Me?". I know about feeling like you just can't take anymore. It's awful. But I never look at people getting sick as being a "test of my faith." Unfortunately, bad things happen. I will never say, "Just be grateful it's not worse" - that's so unfair. Try to take things one day at a time for now. You will get through this trying time.

Good luck-
Erin

 

[cabmom]

Someone on here suggested reading "The Purpose Driven Life". I started to read it this week. This would be a good time to read it if you are needing strength. It has really opened my eyes to what life and death mean.
to you!

 

[DemonLlama]

I always think of Ginny Owen's Christian song: "If you Want Me To" in these kinds of situations. My friend who lost her two children (7 and 8) and her father in one terrible accident always comes to mind. She is my hero: faced with the most horrific personal tragedy I could imagine, she has found that the grace of God is sufficient for her. Her tag line in her email is "God's will will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you." At the funeral for her children and father she read Romans 8:18: "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Through all the awful losses and pain, God has something so much greater for us after this life than we could ever ask or imagine.

 

[Buckalew11]

I agree with the above posters. Life is hard. Death is awful because we don't want to let go.

My dad is suffering from cancer now. Terrible days are ahead of him and for my family. Only my faith will sustain me through this.

My faith isn't about sunshine and roses even though that'd be good. God lets it rain on the just and the unjust--He shows no favorites and doesn't love a believer any more than an unbeliever. So, you could move into your church and be there all the time, pray w/o ceasing and God wouldn't love you anymore than He does now or before you accepted Him as God.

He allows bad things to happen--He doesn't make bad things to happen. Some families seem to have a black cloud over them and bad things happen too often and it is hard to watch and is heartbreaking. I always wonder where they get their strength to go on--even though I KNOW where it comes from!

My heart goes out to you. I'll be praying for your family. Many hugs!

 

[LvsTnk]

Hmm.....Yes, it has been tested and at one point our life would have made a real tear jerker of a movie.

Then my son with Down Syndrome was born and you definately don't say why me it was "why him". I am sure you can guess it is a whole different world you enter after that.

Well, I did question my faith but I didn't want to or couldn't think the worst I just put it away until I could deal with it.

Well, the greatest gift this guy could have given me was a stronger faith not only in God but in people in general.

Yes, people always stare, make comments, and he has even been hit by other kids and that's the hard part. But I never look at someone or hear someone without thinking what is their story. What's going on in their life, what happened to them. You never know how aweful things could be for someone at a given moment.

I feel like God gave him to me because he knew I would "get it" I would understand what his purpose here on this earth would be.

Hang in there you will find a way

 

[justhat]

Yes, I can empathize with what you're going through. My grandfather died a month after I turned 17, my father died 4 months after that, my step-grandfather had emergency open heart surgery a year later, then 2 months after that my uncle died, 11 months later my grandmother died, then 2 months after her our dog got a horrible auto-immune disease, suffered, and died. It was a horrible time for me, and I was young and didn't know how to deal with everything (not that I would know now either, but it was worse back then). Things went well for awhile, then my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2002. She had a lumpectomy and has been doing well since then, but I still worry about her all the time. Her cousin got a brain tumor in May and was operated on the same day as my mom, but unfortunately she passed away 3 weeks before my daughter was born in February. Other than that, this year has been good, with getting married and the birth of my daughter. Hopefully it's a new trend.

What made me question my faith was the death of my father. He had been very sick every 3 years during my childhood until I was 9, to the point of hospitalization and being near death, then after that he was okay so I thought my bad luck was over. (He had colon cancer, his appendix burst, congestive heart failure, and many back and liver problems.) I was wrong. When I was 9, he was actually diagnosed with multiple myeloma, but luckily it turned out to be wrong and he actually had spinal stenosis. He was still sick, but after he recovered from his back surgery he was fine for years. His family and friends referred to him as the cat with 9 lives, since he'd be so close to death, but end up bouncing back. A month before I started my senior year in high school though, I woke up to an ambulance taking him to the hospital. He was in there for a month, and his liver was failing. He had contracted Hepatitis C through a transfusion after his appendix ruptured when I was 3, and his liver had been in bad shape for awhile, but I never knew this bad. They found a tumor in his liver, but he was too weak for a biopsy, plus they said it would be inoperable due to its size anyway, so that was it. He stayed in the hospital for a month and then came home and 2 months later he died. While he was home, my mom let me skip school a few times, and I'm so glad now that she did because if I could even have one more day with him I'd do anything. I remember he was at the kitchen table and I came down to eat and he said "hey, why are you home, don't you have school?" and I looked at him and said jokingly "don't you have work?" and he smiled and said he was taking some time off. It's one of the last memories I have of him in an actual conversation with me, as soon after that he became too weak to talk much. When he went to the hospital that August, I remember asking God if he could stay alive until I had my 1st child. When he got sicker I changed my request to just until I got married. When he came home it was just until I graduated college, then high school, then finally I just wanted him for Christmas. When he died on November 10, I asked God why I couldn't even get one last holiday with my father.

It took a long time before I really started to believe again, though I still have my doubts at times (like when my 2 week old cousin died this past May-he never even had a chance in life). The birth of my daughter has helped tremendously though. A look at her and ask God how I could be so lucky to be the mother to this wonderful baby-sometimes I think it's a reward to all I went through when I was 17-20. I still have moments when I look at her and cry that my father will never get to hold her, but it does make me want to strengthen her relationships with her exisiting relatives, so I guess it's working out for the best.

To the OP, I hope things start looking up for you. I know what you're going through, and I wish you the best. Hopefully you'll come out of this a much stronger person and things will work out the best they can.

 

[tar heel]

MickeysMommy -- How is your dad? My beloved father-in-law, whom I adore, was diagnosed with multiple myeloma yesterday. I did an internet search and didn't find a lot of reassuring information. He is older, so would not likely do much of the treatment discussed -- stem cell transplants and the like. What kind of treatment did your dad have? Has his liver or kidney function been impaired?

Yes, my faith is often tested.

 

[LuvN~Travel]

Whe you have a kid born with birth defects that have a lot of serious health issues with them... YEP! Everytime you turn around.!
But, you can eventually feel the peace coming over you if you just turn those worries over. I've gotten a lot better over the years with our daughter. Even during a seizure. DH on the other hand.....Well, he's very thankful for his Welbutrin. And, it doesn't help when the kid has an evil sense of humor. She loves playing 'tricks' on her father. Sheesh!
We tell everyone that this kid has been on SO many prayer lists in this town, that everyone seems to know her.
Kim

 

[Pooh93]

Yes I do. My mom died in 1987 at the age of 48. She never knew my dd's. My dad's youngest brother died in February this year and his younger sister died in August this year. I look at my dad that is only 73 and he looks like he's slowly slipping away from me (although he's not sick and has had several tests run and all show he is healthy),but I feel that I have him on borrowed time. I keep praying that he stays in this life to continue watching his beautiful granddaughter's grow.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Way too often. Try a daily basis.

1988...got married.
1989...oldest sister died at 36.
1990...grandfather died at 83.
1991...dad died from cancer 5 days before his 61st birthday.
1992...husband died from massive heart attack at 38 while I was pregnant.
1993...had baby on my own.
1993...had surgery to remove a lump from my breast.
1993...had knee surgery.
1994...mom died.
2003...DS diagnosed with Diabetes. I've had it myself since 13. He was just 10 when diagnosed. That adds a real routine every day!

With 12 years of widowhood coming up next month along with being a single parent 11 1/2 years, you bet it's tested DAILY!

Oh! Let's throw in being unemployed.

 

[WDWLVR]

Yes my faith has been tested, but I feel that every time it has it has maken me stronger.

1990, what should have been the happiest year of my life, became a roller coaster. I was engaged to be married but was also diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I was blessed that it was found so early and was only stage one. It definately had me look at life different and gave real meaning when later that year we said the vows of in sickness and in health.

1997, another roller coaster year. Started in Spring with the large tree in front of our house falling. Luckily it missed everything and fell in the street but it was still very scary. Then late May as we are planning a trip to WDW with my mom - she's diagnosed with lung cancer. Then she falls and breaks her hip. Then I lose my job, and 3 weeks after I start my new job I lose my mom. It was her faith that got me through that year and her faith that made mine stronger.