Is this too much?

[DisneyJules]

I had A LOT of family get togethers this holiday season, seeing as my parents are divorced, everything is doubled. Within the span of a week and a half we celebrated twice with my sister and her husband because they were leaving out of town , then we celebrated Christmas eve and day, which was fine. Then we had another dinner because my brother was going back home and then a get together at my aunt's plus New years brunch at my mom's place and and a New Years dinner with all of my dad's family. So six dinners and one brunch, does this seem like a lot to you? I have a VERY hard time saying no to my parents and they sort of just expect me to be there, I don't even feel like there is an option.

 

[C.Ann]

Wow! There's just no way that I would do that much running around in such a short period of time.. You must be totally exhausted! Everyone needs some "down" time - hopefully you will get that now that the holiday dust is about to settle..

 

[BelleWDW]

I would run out of conversation topics!

 

[DisneyJules]

Tell me about it!

 

[Ghosthost999]

The Holidays are so hard for this reason alone. We all feel a certain level of obligation to our friends and family, but hopefully your family would understand if you decided to sit out one of the "lesser" events. Christmas eve and Christmas day are probably a must but beyond that....well, you are only one person for goodness sake.

 

[okeydokey]

How close do you live to all these folks? Do you stay all day or just for a couple of hours. I does sound like a lot but if that means you didn't have to prepare a meal when you weren't hosting, it actually could save you some effort.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Six dinners and 1 brunch is not excessive however I know it is tiring. We did 4 get togethers with different people and we were exhausted after.
We did not go anywhere for 2 days.

 

[DisneyJules]

My family and I all live in the same city. My mom always has us over super early. The other day she wanted us over for 3:00. I got up to go home at 9:00 p.m. and she wondered why I was leaving so early ??? It feels like she's having us over earlier and earlier. I know she just loves us and we love going over, but going over for 5:30 or 6:00 would be more reasonable.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My family and I all live in the same city. My mom always has us over super early. The other day she wanted us over for 3:00. I got up to go home at 9:00 p.m. and she wondered why I was leaving so early ??? It feels like she's having us over earlier and earlier. I know she just loves us and we love going over, but going over for 5:30 or 6:00 would be more reasonable.

Then you tell her what time is convenient for you. When she says she wants you there at 3pm, you say we are, I am _____ and we will be over at 5:30.

 

[DisneyJules]

Then you tell her what time is convenient for you. When she says she wants you there at 3pm, you say we are, I am _____ and we will be over at 5:30.

Good point. I still feel like a little girl, even though I'm 26 years old, like my mom is telling me what to do and I can't question it.

 

[dawson5]

My parents are divorced also. When we were all younger (until the kids married) they actually celebrated it together as a family. They understood that we still had to go to both sides of grandparents. Then after we were married, my husband and I couldn't do the separate ones, so we decided to do Christmas breakfast at our house. They knew the other was going to be there, could choose to come or not, but there was no way we were dragging the kids everywhere. Then we moved out of state. We now do two Christmases, one for hubby's side and one for mine. My dad has decided he cannot be around my mother, so he does not show.

(It's funny to watch when they are together, they talk and talk and talk. I find it really hard to see the hatred.)

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Good point. I still feel like a little girl, even though I'm 26 years old, like my mom is telling me what to do and I can't question it.

At 26 it is time to move into a more adult relationship between the two of you.

If you tell her that 3:00 is not doable as you are busy doing xyz, hopefully she responds normally with OK, I will see you then.

If she does not then you just repeat yourself after she gives her reasonings.

She may say I want you here at 3pm because ________. You repeat I am sorry mom we can't make it at that time. We will see you at 5:30.

Now if she starts demanding you come over at 3pm then you are into a new level of control. However the clear, repetition of above works for this too.

You didn't say your mom was controlling however I am just taking a leap here. Hopefully your situation is simple and you just need to speak up.

 

[MissyDVC]

I think that if you are questioning if it is too much then, for you, it's too much and that's all that matters.