is this tacky? kind of aggrevated.

[imthatgirl]

i could be completely off base here, so if i am let me know.

ok so my husband was asked to be the godfather of one of his closest friends son. great! they then said there would be a party at his mothers house after. great! cant wait!

well today i get an official invite in the mail. the christening is for not only that child but also for this friends sisters child. its a combo christening and a combo party and both children are listed on the invite. so i guess im brining a gift for both kids. we know his sister, shes not a close friend, we've met her.

i dont know maybe im mad for no reason, but shouldnt they have sent out seperate invites? or at least seperate invites to people that are only friends with one party? i understand having them together, it makes sense. but why put people in a position where they have to bring 2 gifts?

im really not trying to be cheap here, but traditionally its a cash gift. my husband will be the godfather of one of the kids so that gift should be somewhat substantial. i dont plan to match the gift.

aaargghhh...im a bit tiffed right now!!!

an i wrong here?

 

[Miss LD]

I'm not sure I'd be ticked, but I get where you're coming from.
Anyway, I was invited to something similar where it was an event for 2 different children. Same sort of deal. We did what you're doing. We did a cash gift for the child we knew (and we were attending for) and gave a card to the other child.
A lot of people did the same thing. The reason the event was celebrated as a joint thing was because it just made sense for the families. I guess with the invites it's a hard call because how weird would it be to show up at something and not know it's a joint thing?

 

[princess&her4princes]

I would be aggrevated, as well. That's weird and agree that they should have done it seperately. Hmm..not sure what to recommend about the other gift...it seems like you need to get something because you were technically invited to both Christenings...maybe a classic book of nursery rhymnes or something like that? That's a tough one!! But I have to agree, this is tacky!! Best wishes!!

 

[imthatgirl]

do you think i could get away with just a card for the other child?
i get what youre saying about not knowing. i think if it were me i would write on the bottom something to the effect of "we will be celebrating along with so and so". in sort of a non chalant way. so the guest wouldnt feel they are being invited to both parties.

 

[MinnieGi]

I bet the families didn't even think about the gift aspect of the two children and how that would make the guests feel. If it were me I would bring the godchild the cash gift you had planned on and a card and small gift for the other child.



Although it was a surprise to see the two children being celebrated at the same party, think of how much more of a surprise it would have been to walk into the party and find out its a combined party!!!!

 

[Miss LD]

do you think i could get away with just a card for the other child?
i get what youre saying about not knowing. i think if it were me i would write on the bottom something to the effect of "we will be celebrating along with so and so". in sort of a non chalant way. so the guest wouldnt feel they are being invited to both parties.

I think it kind of depends on the situation. I didn't have a hard time with it at all because it was so unlikely that I would see the child again.
Mind you, I also wouldn't expect a gift in that case either, KWIM
I think it's very clear that you are there for the one child, but I think it would be weird to not give a card.
If you feel uncomfortable with just doing a card then by all means do something small.
I wouldn't be too keen on doing a joint thing and sending a joint invite either - unless maybe it was my sister or something.

 

[Eeyore's Wife]

It is appropriate to bring a gift for your Godchild, and it is also equally appropriate to bring a card to the other child. Their shared party does not demand a double gift.

This is also the case when a double wedding is performed and you are familiar with only one couple. Proper etiquette only requires you to bring one gift to a group event if you only have a relationship with one part of the event. It is still tasteful to bring a card to recognize the other participant's special day.

I doubt they were trying to "get a gift" out of you for the other child. Having a shared event makes this much easier for any family who might have to travel to the event. My guess would be that they were trying to be thoughtful to the time and travel of others, and as such, I doubt they were trying to be rude.

--Eeyore's Wife

 

[Alesia]

You don't need to give a gift to the child you don't know.

Don't feel guilty about it.

A card would be nice, though.

 

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

My sister and I had daughters a few weeks apart and christened them together. We sent invites with both names on them only to our shared family and close friends. We only included the name of the one girl on the other invites, but did tell people that both girls would be sharing the party (just so they weren't surprised). Most people gave gifts to both girls, but this was just family and very close friends. I know my brother in-laws family well and my sister knows my husband's family even better. My sister and I are extremely close so we share friends too. I would never have expected gifts from her guests, though.

 

[stacieps]

I wouldn't feel I was expected to bring a gift for the 2nd child. My cousin and I had a combined baby shower--we were due within 2 weeks of each other, our mothers are twin sisters. It was easiest to have our family come to one shower. Members of our husbands' families were invited and didn't (and weren't expected to) bring gifts for the other.

I had an opposite problem - my DD once received an invite for a birthday party and we RSVP'd and she went. Wasn't I really surpised when we got there and I saw that the girl was an identical twin. At that time, I felt kind of funny about only brining one gift and wished I'd know she was a twin, however, the birthday girls gave invites from only the one girl, so I had no idea.

I think you are fine either way you handle it (giving 1 gift or 2), I'd be happy that you weren't "surprised" at the 2nd child and that you were given the option to decide what to do.

 

[LadyShea]

For the child you don't know well I would suggest a card, and maybe a book of children's Bible stories, Christening commemorative picture frame or photo album, or something equally appropriate but not expensive.

 

[Camno's Mama]

I think a card is totally acceptable. I'm sure that they do not expect a gift...my guess is that they weren't even thinking about anyone feeling this way. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

 

[imthatgirl]

well my husband just informed me that he knew all along and planned to bring a gift anyway. so i guess it doesnt really matter anymore.
i have no idea why he didnt bother to share this info, men!

oh and im sure they werent just trying to get a gift, i wasnt trying to imply that. im sure it was an honest mistake and im over it now, lol.

 

[DisneyKT]

do you think i could get away with just a card for the other child? i get what you're saying about not knowing. i think if it were me i would write on the bottom something to the effect of "we will be celebrating along with so and so". in sort of a nonchalant way. so the guest wouldn't feel they are being invited to both parties.

Don't be upset it was just probably done together so it could be special for the family.* There are plenty of cute things that are not expensive you can give for the other child. Like a nice photo frame. A Cross pin. Savings Bond.Hope you have a good time.

 

[crisi]

A nice note is even more appropriate and proper than a card.

No gift for EITHER child is required, but if you CHOOSE to give to your husband's godson you are not obligated to give anything to the other child.

Its a christening, the children involved are babies (if it were a shared party for four year olds, bringing a token for both children would keep hard feelings at bay) - the adults involved should be adults.

 

[mom2my3kids]

I would just get a present for the child that I knew..

 

[tjmw2727]

I think your only "expected" to do what you would have done if it was a single event.

By putting both children on the invite friends from either family won't be put on the spot when they arrive to find that its a double Christening. I would feel much more uncomfortable in that situation. At least this way you have time to decide what you want to do for the other family, if anything.

I honestly don't think anything is implied by having both children on the invitation and if most of the same family members would be invited to both it makes alot of sense to have them together.

In your situation I would bring a card for the other child.

TJ

 

[holly7347]

We have had one joint b-day party. I was very pregnant at the time and DD and her cousin have b-days with in days of each other. So we had a joint party at the cousin's house because I just couldn't imagine planning a party when I was going to have a baby any day. BUT we only invited family anyway and everyone that would have went to the cousins party would have went to my DD's party. So in that case they were probally happy to only give up one Saturday instead of one for his party and one for DD's party.

Your case is different since you might not have been invited to the other party had they been seperate. In that case I would just take a gift for your DH's godchild.

 

[dreamin_disney]

be happy you only have to take two gifts. My dfi became a godfather and was expect to pay for half the party, pay half for the dress, shoes , candle etc -outfit of the babyand a gift. Then the mother of the child mentioned tradition is to throw change/money to the kids that are there at the party. I finally put my foot down and told dfi he better speak up.

At that time we had just had a baby and bought a house so money was very tight.


our tradition is we the godparents between the pair pay for the child outfit, shoes, candle , bible etc. and chip in toward the party. Plus we buy a gift. No big deal for the outfit. candle, bible and gift but the party can get ridiculous with D.J or mexican band etc.

 

[Alesia]

be happy you only have to take two gifts. My dfi became a godfather and was expect to pay for half the party, pay half for the dress, shoes , candle etc -outfit of the babyand a gift. Then the mother of the child mentioned tradition is to throw change/money to the kids that are there at the party. I finally put my foot down and told dfi he better speak up.

At that time we had just had a baby and bought a house so money was very tight.


our tradition is we the godparents between the pair pay for the child outfit, shoes, candle , bible etc. and chip in toward the party. Plus we buy a gift. No big deal for the outfit. candle, bible and gift but the party can get ridiculous with D.J or mexican band etc.

You have got to be kidding!