Is this appropriate behavior for an Uncle?

[SnoWhiteRabbit]

Just having to ask the question tells the answer...I had that uneasy feeling before I even read the message. Protect the child. Good luck to your family. A very difficult and sad situation.

 

[Pezalicious]

Thanks for all the replies.

All 3 of my dad's children were abused, and it all happened by different people (not our dad). So we're sensitive to it, and paranoid about it happening in yet another generation. I wasn't sure if we were just being too sensitive and reading too much into things, or if we were right to think this behavior was not normal. We don't know why our younger brother is acting this way, but at least we're not being completely unfair to him. I live in a different state than they do, so I can't go, but next Wednesday my older brother will be joining my younger brother in his therapy session and he will bring up his concerns then. Hopefully we'll have more of an understanding then.

Until we sort through this, my niece will remain very well protected by her father and he'll continue being extremely careful for the remainder of her visit.

Thanks again, everyone.

 

[SnoWhiteRabbit]

Thanks for the follow up and good luck to your family. I didn't mean to suggest in my post that the younger brother *has* done anything, but I definitely think your family needs to see this behavior as a warning....which it seems like they have. Your older brother is right in protecting his daughter. Good luck to all of you.

 

[melancholywings]

Your brothers both need to talk to the therapist. It is not normal behavior and the therapist may be able to help them address it in a healthy way.

 

[camlace]

Personally I would also have the 10 year old talk to someone. You said the family has spoken with her, but she may be petrified to tell someone in the family if her uncle did something to her. And personally if it was my daughter she would not be in the same house as her uncle in this situation. I understand he is the victim and should not be isolated/punished, but it would appear that he still has unresolved issues and I would not want to put my daughter in any danger.

 

[pixiewings71]

Ok, no it's not normal...BUT what if he's worried that her Dad (the DD's father) is molesting her and he's taking pictures for what he feels he may have to prove later? Just a thought. I'm sure that with such a horrible abuse history he's very sensitive to it as well. Perhaps he is just hoping to protect his neice in a way he wasn't protected? I don't know, I'm not in this situation it's just something that came to mind. I'm so sorry for your family and I hope that you are able to get this worked out. Your poor brother, he must be really messed up for everyone to be so worried about this. I do think that it's a good idea for both your brothers to go see the therapist, perhaps seperately, and your niece should go as well......

 

[Chrisinroch]

I guess I find the post indicative of a larger problem that seems to permeate the family as evidenced by the father and now subsequent generations inability to offend someone in order to protect their children.

The idea that a parent would even be conflicted about such an obvious threat really makes me question the OP ability to evalute this situation clearly. Get some help now and try to avoid this poisoning a third generation.

Sorry for the tough love. But if you don't like it, don't ask for advice on a public message board.

 

[nikkers]

I am so sorry what your family has endured. I agree with everyone it does not sound normal. And generally your instincts are always right.

Good luck to your family!