Is this a 2yr old tantrum or something more?

[JJ&JSMOM]

Our DD1 is one month shy of her 1st b-day and for the last few months she has been acting 2ish. Theres one thing shes doing that I'm not sure how to handle. She will not try on anything new. I'm buying clothes for all our kids for Disney and the other two (DS7 & DD4) love them but DD1 will not have anything to do w/the clothes. She'll scream at the top of her lungs and throw herself on the ground. There's nothing itchy on them...they're soft 100% cotton.

Today I actually put on a new outfit w/her kicking and hitting and she screamed and yelled "help!" while pulling at her clothes. Later today I put on her new sneakers and she cried and screamed but after a few minutes she was fine and running up/down the hallway playing w/her brother and sister.

I'm not sure what this is all about! Shes going to have to wear these clothes at Disney she can't wear her usual winter long sleeve shirts/pants. Just wondering if anyone else has had this problem. Is it just a 2 yr old thing or is it more? We've never experienced tantrums before w/our other two...they seemed to have skipped that phase. Thank goodness!

I'm starting to get concerned...I hope she doesn't have some sort of sensory issue. My DH thinks its just her way of trying to control the situation. He thinks I should keep trying the clothes on her...one a day and let her scream. See if she stops...if she doesn't then put her in her crib. I don't know what to do. Any opinions or strategies welcomed! Thanks as usual.

 

[pbharris4]

She may just not want to sit long enough for you to put clothes on. She probably wanted to play wither her brother and sister. It sounds like she's starting to show a little independence. My 3 almost 4 yr old is VERY independent (well..she's getting there and I was the same way and still am). I have learned to pick my battles. She has an older sister (11) and thinks she can so the same stuff she can.

And yes.....ahhhh the throwing oneself to the floor or arching of the back and screaming....CLASSSIC tantrum, usually. My remedy for those were leave them on the floor and say "Go right ahead...when you are done I'll be in the other room." Worked like a charm for me with both kids. Best Wishes!

 

[daisy_77]

I think this sounds normal...but I could be wrong. My DD is 2.5 years old and she went through the same thing. If I tried to put any clothes on her she would act like I was hurting her and would scream at the top of her lungs (she also did this when I put on certain cartoons or gave her toys that she didn't want to play with). Thank goodness she finally grew out of it.

I think that if you suspect that this may be something more, I would call her doctor and listen to what he/she has to say. Good luck!

 

[krystalleigh1]

I'm a home daycare provider and have seen LOTS of this kind of behavior. Sounds like a tantrum to me. I, however, look at tantrums a little differently than most people though. Here's how I see it:

She probablly dosen't want to try on the clothes-would rather be doing something else, or just dosen't like to take clothes off and on, off and on and is trying to communicate that to you. At her age, when words are hard to find, the only thing she can do is throw a fit. That gets the point accross for her I bet. Also toddlers aren't good at controlling emotions. So what may make her a little angry (like having to sit still and try on clothes) is only magnified when you don't seem to understand why she dosen't want to do it-it would probablly be really frustrating for her.

Some people ignore (and I do too sometimes) but I have found it works better if you try to look at their frustrations through their eyes. That way you can find a solution that works for the both of you. Also, time outs for kids under 2 years of age aren't really effective-they don't understand WHY they're in time out. Instead maybe you could reward good behavior. Like say, "Honey, let's try on this shirt and then we'll have a special snack" (or go on a walk, or read your favorite book,etc.). But at her age you may have to find a way "around" the tantrums. Or distract her with something while you help her try on clothes.

Good luck!

 

[hvivona]

A friend of my DH has a daughter who has dealt with this. For them is was a sensory thing. She was about 2 or 3 when it started, but she pitched fits whenever it was time to get dressed. She said her clothes hurt her. I'd go the the doctor and rule that out if I were you. I'm sure it'd make you feel better to know if its just a tatrum or not.

 

[eliza61]

Our DD1 is one month shy of her 1st b-day and for the last few months she has been acting 2ish. Theres one thing shes doing that I'm not sure how to handle. She will not try on anything new. I'm buying clothes for all our kids for Disney and the other two (DS7 & DD4) love them but DD1 will not have anything to do w/the clothes. She'll scream at the top of her lungs and throw herself on the ground. There's nothing itchy on them...they're soft 100% cotton.

Today I actually put on a new outfit w/her kicking and hitting and she screamed and yelled "help!" while pulling at her clothes. Later today I put on her new sneakers and she cried and screamed but after a few minutes she was fine and running up/down the hallway playing w/her brother and sister.

I'm not sure what this is all about! Shes going to have to wear these clothes at Disney she can't wear her usual winter long sleeve shirts/pants. Just wondering if anyone else has had this problem. Is it just a 2 yr old thing or is it more? We've never experienced tantrums before w/our other two...they seemed to have skipped that phase. Thank goodness!

I'm starting to get concerned...I hope she doesn't have some sort of sensory issue. My DH thinks its just her way of trying to control the situation. He thinks I should keep trying the clothes on her...one a day and let her scream. See if she stops...if she doesn't then put her in her crib. I don't know what to do. Any opinions or strategies welcomed! Thanks as usual.

Ahh those were the days. She is just exercising a kids right to throw a tantrum. very normal. My son had a pair of Ninja mutant teenage turtle pj's that he wanted to wear 24/7, did the same thing, screamed, holler, roll on the floor etc, etc. I would simply clap his performance and put the clothes on him anyway. You are right, she can't wear her winter clothes to disney so just put the clothes on her & let her scream (I use to leave the room or sit down and totally ignore my son ). hang in there, this too will pass.
E

 

[JJ&JSMOM]

Thanks for all the advice. She does act like this when she doesn't get her way (toys/channel/getting in carseat) so I'm hoping its just a tantrum but we'll see how the next few days go. If I'm still feeling as though its more I'll schedule her appointment w/her doc.

I've tried different times of the day (except close to nap - that would not be good!) No time seems like a good time for her. I've tried distracting her...unfortunately it seems nothing will distract her mind. Shes very determined and stubborn.

But she has been doing great on our walks. We've been walking to try to get ready for Disney and she of course refuses her stroller so shes been walking beside us. Thanks again!

 

[kahluacream]

I wonder if the issue is the new clothes or just the "trying on" process? My kids never like to stop what they're doing long enough to try on different outfits. As far as they're concerned; once they're dressed for the day, that's it.

I'd try getting her dressed tomorrow morning in one of the new vacation outfits as if you were dressing for the day and see what happens. Then you could see if her issue is just with trying on clothes or the outfits themselves.

It's so hard to figure little ones out at that age. I remember that my oldest son refused to wear shoes and threw tantrums about footwear right around a year when he started walking. Five years later, he isn't barefoot all the time as I once feared he would be. It was just a phase.

Good luck!

 

[bumbershoot]

She's shy of her 2nd birthday, yes? (you wrote 1st)

I say it's just being 2. Clothes might have been terrific for your others, but it doesn't mean she has to like it. The time, the yanking, the pulling...and it might still be cold up where you are, and you're trying to put lightweight clothing on her (she might be cold)...she might "have to" wear these clothes at Disney, but she doesn't have to NOW! And hey, "have to" isn't set in stone...I mean, look at clothing of traditional cultures in some very hot places...long, flowing robes covering arms and legs...who says we have to wear summertime clothes just b/c there's sunshine? (OK besides *parents*)

DS has entered a stage of "all tags are itchy". I've seen poeple talk about that as a sensory problem. That might be, for some. But in MY life, tags ARE itchy! I mean, Fruit of the Loom has started making tagless clothes, even they can admit tags are itchy. So I found my seam-ripper, and I'm taking tags out of the clothes DS complains about.


But hey, at least she's wearing SOME clothes. I was an avowed nudist until I was 4. My mom would dress me, leave the room, and she'd come back in an minute later and I was nekkid.


If DS were doing this I wouldn't worry, I'd barely think about it. I'd bring those clothes and some others, go on vacay, and let him be. Then again, he's got the personality that he WILL ask for a coat when he's cold, and will strip when he's hot...so it's easy for me to be blase (I need that accent mark) about clothing.

 

[PiperPizzaz]

Mine is 19 mos and sometimes does this when getting dressed or putting on coat and shoes. Sometimes I just struggle to get them on but, sometimes I will start praising him like he is so good and he will start playing along. Hopefully it lasts. (ex. "alright! You are doing such a good job getting dressed! Let's see if we can put that arm in? Good listening!)

 

[Nanu57v]

Its a trying to assert her independence thing. If you can, give her choices (but only 2). I give my DD two outfits to choose from most mornings. Before, she would scream to the point of tears when we'd dress her. I think she just needs to feel in control of some things.

 

[Trixie15]

I was also going to suggest a choice. Honey, do you want the flower shirt or the kitty shirt? It really sounds like she just doesn't want to do it - totally normal 2 year old behavior.

 

[cinjam]

Sound like a tantrum to me. My youngest (now 3), will ALWAYS throw a tantrum when I try to put a short sleeved shirt on after we've been wearing long sleeves (we live in NJ & vacation in Disney in February). This started when he was about 18 months old - pitched a fit about his elbows being exposed! He still does it to this day, although not as bad. Weather had gotten a bit warmer & I was putting short sleeves on him last week...oh how he cried & tried to pull the short sleeves down over his elbow.

What has sort of worked for us is pointing out that we ALL (me, DH & DS6) are wearing short sleeves. We do the "elbow-bump" (kind of like the knuckle bump some do instead of a handshake). We look like idiots when we do it in public (I am having a flashback of doing it in the Parrot Cay restaurant on our cruise in February) Kind of like a toast of elbows...anyway just something to distract him...then he forgets he has on short sleeves & life goes on.

Hope you find something that works for you!

 

[ilovejack02]

LOL my DS4 had a cow fit when I woke him up to get him out of his nasty DIRTY play clothes last night... I know i know let sleeping dogs lie, but he was really really gross and in my bed.

Any woo, He screamed and kicked and fought but i got him dressed, I just kept smiling , it was my fault i woke him up. Well by the time i was done he had worked himself up into a frenzy, so i tried singing to relax him and he lost his mind. So I told him , fine give me the pajamas... i dont want you to wear them.
"Oh but mommy I love my pjs I want to wear them "

Fine i said, but im not singing you a song

Oh but pleaseeee he said

Works like a charm everytime.
Now this prob wont works with your DD yet, but save it for when she gets a little older.

 

[susykt4]

DS4 has always been like this. He hates new clothes. Changing from long sleeves to short sleeves and especially pants to shorts (and then back when the season changes again) is a MAJOR deal for him. He was slightly better than usual this past fall so I'm hoping he's growing out of it. He's always been very independent and strong-willed about everything but the clothes issue drives me nuts!!!!

 

[JJ&JSMOM]

Thanks for all your replies! Last night DH tried a new pair of shorts on DD1 and she screamed at first. He started playing w/her - tickling and making funny noises and she was fine. Then 1-2 min later he took them off hoping she'll see we're just trying them on and not keeping them on.

When I tried to do distract it was a no go! I told DH he could dress her during vacation. He was fine w/that. So if that will work we'll do it! I understand all kids are different as are adults so we need to change our strategies but boy did this throw me for a loop. Never have I experienced such a reaction. I think she'll give us a "run for our money" as she grows up but it certainly will be interesting. And just as much as shes stubborn..shes so sweet and caring.

Thanks again!

 

[PollyannaMom]

DS4 has always been like this. He hates new clothes. Changing from long sleeves to short sleeves and especially pants to shorts (and then back when the season changes again) is a MAJOR deal for him. He was slightly better than usual this past fall so I'm hoping he's growing out of it. He's always been very independent and strong-willed about everything but the clothes issue drives me nuts!!!!

DS6 used to do this too. I think the difference just felt weird to him when he was little, but he would eventually adjust, and has since outgrown it.

 

[Starr W.]

DS4 has always been like this. He hates new clothes. Changing from long sleeves to short sleeves and especially pants to shorts (and then back when the season changes again) is a MAJOR deal for him. He was slightly better than usual this past fall so I'm hoping he's growing out of it. He's always been very independent and strong-willed about everything but the clothes issue drives me nuts!!!!

OMG, that sounds like my youngest! The first day he had to go from shorts/long pants was a big deal(though for about 15 minutes) then he was fine. He's 5 now and seems to be over it(with the weather we have had he's been in shorts and back to winter clothes and hasn't had a problem, though I tell him what to wear type of clothes and he picks them out)

 

[Momto3Disneyprinces]

I have to wrestle both my (almost) 3 year old, and my 18 month old into clean diapers and clothes.....(I can't wait for potty training.....Unfortunetly, my 3 year old could care less!!!!! And he will not tell me when he has to go, or go at any of the regularly scheduled potty "try-outs"....He has actually held it until diaper went back on He is very stubborn... I am hoping preschool will change his mind with a little peer pressure!! ) And my 18 mo old was born with Bilatteral Club Feet, so I have to wrestle him into PJs, diaper, and special shoes for bed....(I can't wait, he is doing so well, he can finally give up the shoes when he turns 2!! )

The little ones will take control at whatever opportunity they can...I didn't have this with my oldest, so these two have been quite the challenge!!!