Is it worth the headache to bring family

[DaParkers]

Is it worth the headache to bring family that will probably get on your nerves the whole time in WDW? I was born and raised in New Orleans in a "Ghetto" environment. I have a lot of "Ghetto" family members. Not criminals, but "Ghetto". I would love for the children in my family to be able to experience WDW. My son has been twice now and no other child in the family has ever been. No adult either. Some of my family thinks that my wife and I are somewhat snooty because we choose to live elsewhere and because we don't engage in a lot of the things that they do. We are black, but were told that our son sounds "white" because he speaks correctly. That stuff doesn't bother me. We love our family and would love to be able to take them to WDW, but don't want to be embarassed and don't want to waste time and money on people that may not "get it". I don't want to spend my time listening to complaints about walking and questions like "Why doesn't Boma have all American food?" That was asked to me by my best friend this past Aug. My experience with him and his wife makes me consider not ever going to WDW with friends or family ever again. We are not willing to take all of the kids by ourselves, but should the kids suffer because their parents don't want to experience anything outside of New Orleans? Sorry for the long question. Just wanted to include a little background info. Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.

 

[tlbwriter]

You have two separate issues here. Is it worthwhile to bring family? Yes, it can be. I've gone twice with family (once with mine, once with ILs) and we had a great time. Is it worthwhile to bring YOUR family? Maybe. Have you ever actually sat down with them and shared your experiences at WDW? If you talk about the different types of food, for example, do they sneer and say "Why would anybody want to eat that?" If you talk about the shows, do they say "That sounds boring!" If you talk about the rides, do they say "You waited 30 minutes in line for that?" If so, it may not be worth the trouble. In fact, they may be determined to dislike the Disney experience simply because they've got so much invested in believing you like the "wrong" things, KWIM?

 

[LadyShea]

I am going through something similar regarding the Holidays. I dislike stress, I dislike juggling our plans around other people's (ie: family) conveniences and wishes out of obligation, rather than for us to actually enjoy, I dislike drama, and ultimately, when I do so, I end up having few good memories.

The one thing I will maintain as for us, about us, and on our schedule-regardless of those who think we're ridiculous, frivolous or whatever-is Disney.

Can't tell you what to do, only that when it comes to WDW I make our plans and if anyone else wants to come they can...I don't go out of my way to encourage or force them to come nor do I rearrange anything to suit them.

Best of luck!

 

[Mom2JPL]

How many family members would you take with you? And how many of them are children? I'm assuming you're a family of 3...would you be able to take one of the kids (cousins?) and see how that works out? This is a difficult question, because only you know your family and your own tolerance level.

As a side note: My dh and I are asking ourselves the same question (kinda) if we should go with my in-laws (his family) and brother. He says they'll be a help, but I say "they don't help us here with the kids, why would going to disney change that?".

 

[Mkrop]

We are struggling with this simply bc of the personalities involved let alone anything else. My DMom would love for her family to go but we are all in different stages in life, me with kids, my brothers much younger w/o. I think you need to sit down with some and just plain ask and if they dont like how you vacation then that is their loss!

Good luck!

 

[TiggerGuy67]

I have had both good and bad results doing this. I recently brought my mom and she had a hard time with all of the walking but watching her expression as she saw how much fun my kids (and my wife and I) had was worth everything.

I have also gone with other families and had it not turn out so great. You have to be prepared to go your separate ways on occasion so you won't have a horrible time yourself. You don't have to share every meal and/or every park day.

All in all, I say go for it. Some people get it and some don't. It doesn't make them bad. But part of the magic for me and my family is sharing it with others. And to introduce someone to this magical place and see them 'get it' is worth the risk. Of course, that's just one man's opinion.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

That's a difficult situation. I almost think the other children would be more likely to get caught up in the magic if the other adults weren't there to spoil it for them, but I wouldn't volunteer to scoop up all the cousins and take them to WDW.
Have your extended family members ever watched the planning DVD with you, or watched any of the Travel Channel shows about Disney? How did they react?
I don't know how you would go about determining which ones would "get it" and which ones would spend the whole trip complaining or making snide comments. I guess just talking with them to see how they respond.

We went to WDW with some friends last year and there were several times I wanted a hole to open up in the ground and swallow me. Even DS (who was 10 at the time) was embarrassed by some of the behavior. But for the most part I just got tired of listening to the griping. (These friends have been to WDW before, so they knew what to expect. Our one friend just likes drama and had to fuss about something every minute of every day.)
Good luck!

 

[seashoreCM]

>>> juggling

You need to choose only one role:
1. A Disney guest.
2. A tour guide.
3. A photographer/videographer.

A group can have only one leader. You can be the leader no matter which of the three above roles you choose. If another adult has a problem with that, then it is time to split up.

Disney hints: http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

 

[DaParkers]

How many family members would you take with you? And how many of them are children? I'm assuming you're a family of 3...would you be able to take one of the kids (cousins?) and see how that works out? This is a difficult question, because only you know your family and your own tolerance level.

It'll be mostly kids with NO FATHERS! It's 4 women and 8 kids. My sister and my wife's 2 sisters and her mother, 7 boys and 1 girl. I am unfortunately the only man most of my nephews and niece know. As a man, it is hard being around my wife's family and my own, because there are no men. I want to do more for the kids because they're mostly boys, but I'm just one man. And it just wouldn't be fair to take one nephew and not the rest. We did that with Seaworld and the other kids had a problem with that.

 

[TiggerGuy67]

My hat is off to you, Parker dad. The fact that you ask the questions you do mean you will find a way to make it all work. Keep on plugging - but have a backup plan.

 

[tlbwriter]

It'll be mostly kids with NO FATHERS! It's 4 women and 8 kids. My sister and my wife's 2 sisters and her mother, 7 boys and 1 girl. I am unfortunately the only man most of my nephews and niece know. As a man, it is hard being around my wife's family and my own, because there are no men. I want to do more for the kids because they're mostly boys, but I'm just one man. And it just wouldn't be fair to take one nephew and not the rest. We did that with Seaworld and the other kids had a problem with that.

Honestly that sounds like a nightmare to me! Fifteen people, mostly kids, and only two of the adults have ever been there... I'd find someplace else to spend a Big Family Vacation.

 

[Mkrop]

Why dont you start off somewhere closer to home, like a day at the zoo, then you could see the behaviors and personalities of all involved.

 

[NotUrsula]

I want to do more for the kids because they're mostly boys, but I'm just one man. And it just wouldn't be fair to take one nephew and not the rest.

My family had some similar issues, and the way that it was solved was to offer the child the trip when he/she reached a certain age. As in, "the year you turn 9 it will be your turn to go to WDW with Aunt and Uncle X."

Honestly, we have found that the biggest problem tends to be ignorance, especially where the etiquette of staying in hotels is concerned. This is VERY hard to deal with tactfully in adults, but children can usually handle it if you don't take on too many at a time. Being from S. Louisiana the food issue is a special one -- we tend to have VERY specific preferences when it comes to food, and the blandness of central Florida food seems very alien.

PS: If you *can* figure out a way to manage this, bless you for doing it, for the kids, anyway. The gift of the wider world is one of the best things you can give a child whose parents have a very small comfort zone.

 

[nessz79]

I'm agreeing with maybe just taking one or two at a time, if you'll be coming back multiple times. I liked the suggestion of telling them, "When you turn 9 (or whatever), I'll take you." That way you're still doing your part, but not so many at a time. And since your family will outnumber the "new people" you can kind of coach them on Disney etiquette without offending them. If "they" (excuse my terms here) are outnumbered, they're more likely to follow your lead I think.

 

[bjscheel]

I wouldn't be able to handle it. I like to vacation with just my little family, not worry about everyone else. DH's family has had some group vacations, of which we have been on one, and sometimes we had to go our own way just to get a meal! (His sisters eat like birds) I would not want to try to please everyone.

To me, when you said they would probably get on your nerves the entire time, that was your answer!

PS Who would be paying for this? Would they chip in their share or are you willing to foot the bill?

 

[cherjp]

Is it worth the headache to bring family that will probably get on your nerves the whole time in WDW? I was born and raised in New Orleans in a "Ghetto" environment. I have a lot of "Ghetto" family members. Not criminals, but "Ghetto". I would love for the children in my family to be able to experience WDW. My son has been twice now and no other child in the family has ever been. No adult either. Some of my family thinks that my wife and I are somewhat snooty because we choose to live elsewhere and because we don't engage in a lot of the things that they do. We are black, but were told that our son sounds "white" because he speaks correctly. That stuff doesn't bother me. We love our family and would love to be able to take them to WDW, but don't want to be embarassed and don't want to waste time and money on people that may not "get it". I don't want to spend my time listening to complaints about walking and questions like "Why doesn't Boma have all American food?" That was asked to me by my best friend this past Aug. My experience with him and his wife makes me consider not ever going to WDW with friends or family ever again. We are not willing to take all of the kids by ourselves, but should the kids suffer because their parents don't want to experience anything outside of New Orleans? Sorry for the long question. Just wanted to include a little background info. Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.

WOW having read the other replies may i just say that i take my hat off to you, what a wonderful male figure you are to your family and inlaws and i hope that one day they might see that for themselves.

Only having had experience of going with friends to WDW i wouldnt do it that way again, it was too stressful trying to please everyone, but good luck to you , i would be more inclined to maybe do a large family day out closer to home first and see what happens then , but do this several times before you make any decision.

 

[Pixiedust34]

Perhaps I shouldn't respond because we haven't done an extended family trip at WDW yet, though we're thinking about a family trip in a few years if the family is up for it.

I think that if you plan this trip, it would be nice to have some planned activities (special meals, maybe parades/night shows like Fantasmic & Wishes, certain attractions, and/or pool time if you all stay at the same resort) together each day, and then plan for individual families to break off and do their own thing for a while, too. For those activities you do together, be sure to pick something that'll most likely appeal to everyone, young and old.

You do want to build family memories, but too much togetherness is hard with a big group because you can't please everyone all of the time. This probably won't be a "commando" trip, but a trip where you take your time to share the magic.

If you do plan to go, I hope that you have a fun time and build special memories with your family. The kids will always remember going to WDW and will cherish that.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I agree that i would take each child one at a time and not try to please that many adults. Which ever child is the oldest would go first and then each trip take the next oldest child. i also like idea that they get to go at a certain age like 9 if there are not too close in age and you would go that often. I think that the negative additude of the parents would be hard for me to deal with and they might put a damper on the trip for the kids. I expect that each child could also use some one on one time with your family too.

How kind of you to do such a nice thing for your family.

 

[ILoveDisney&Cruising]

As a side note: My dh and I are asking ourselves the same question (kinda) if we should go with my in-laws (his family) and brother. He says they'll be a help, but I say "they don't help us here with the kids, why would going to disney change that?".

Yep, that's been my experience ...... if they act like they are on vacation at home --- it will only be magnified when they are ON vacation! I wouldn't count on any help.

But if you think you'll enjoy spending time together, that might be another story.

 

[ILoveDisney&Cruising]

I am unfortunately the only man most of my nephews and niece know. As a man, it is hard being around my wife's family and my own, because there are no men. I want to do more for the kids because they're mostly boys, but I'm just one man.

I just wanted to say how blessed your family is to have you. All of them, but especially your wife & children. I also like the idea of taking a child at a certain age ....... that would give them some great 1-on-1 time and also, I'd hate for the adults to spoil it for you.