Is it okay to...

[JessHooper]

I am very excited about our destination wedding to Disney in November. Its only going to be 20 people at most. I am upset, however because I wanted the bridal shower with my family, but it just doesn't seem fair to invite people to my bridal shower when they aren't invited to my wedding, and I'm not doing an at home reception after. What would you gals and guys do? I don't want to be rude to those who would attend my bridal shower by not giving them an invite to our wedding....

 

[engagedatWDW]

I don't know about the whole etiquette thing with this, but our family that is invited to our Intimate ceremony knows that we're only allowed to invite a certain amount of people and we chose close family and friends. Of course there are always going to be people that think they are close to you but they need to realize the grandmas (for example) come first. Hopefully everyone will be understanding about the situation and rather than miss out on celebrating at your bridal shower, they will enjoy getting to take part in it, especially since you're not having a "reception" at home. If they want to be upset about it, then that's their choice. I had a lot of people come to me and ask if I was having a shower or a reception at home because they wanted to be apart of it somehow.

 

[*DisneyBride*]

Most people understand about destination weddings. Just mention that it's a private ceremony in Disney World, but you still want to share the excitement of getting married with them. Like I said, most people do understand and since they don't have to spend extra money on going to your wedding you might get a nicer Shower gift LOL

 

[MrsTink04]

My Mom's best friend threw my shower. Everyone there knew and understood the circumstances of our Disney Intimate Wedding, but wanted to share the experience with me as much as they could. I don't think anyone felt cheated and maybe my family and me have the most unselfish friends ever, but they just truly wanted for me to be happy and be able to share in it with me!

 

[Chrissie-riel]

My DH's cousin just got married on 2/28 in Jamaica. We weren't planning on attending and didn't get an invitation to the wedding (although little different situation - we probably could have gone had we asked). But, I was bugging her sisters to death to make sure I was invited to the shower. Since I couldn't go to the "real" event, there's no way I wanted to miss her shower too! I would imagine many of your guests feel the same way! Plus, I found some really nice luggage for a very appropriate gift that she just had to receive before the wedding!

 

[allisonswonderland]

This is a great question that I have wondered about as well. The etiquitte book that I had something like do not invite shower guests unless they will be invited to the wedding. I am having a home reception....I just wonder if that counts since it is a destination. All of the people I would invite are people I would invite if I was having a wedding at home....Great question, I am sure there are a lot of us who wonder about this...

 

[Fantasia Sam]

Etiquette, Shmettiquette

I had a Hen (Bachelorette Party) here and hardly any of my guests were coming to the wedding because it was so far away but all had been invited.

Then I did have a Bridal Shower at WDW just before the wedding - my girlfriends threw it for me as I had never been to a shower before (we don't have them here in the UK) and it was really cool but of course then everyone was going to be there who was coming to the wedding.

I do think that etiquette can go out the window a bit for a destination wedding

 

[D&R love Disney]

I didn't really want one because of the fact we were having an intimate and didn't think it was right to have a big shower. My family didn't agree and my Aunt actually cornered me during the wake for her husband and said she felt I needed a shower. I couldn't say no then. It was nice, just family members and my MOH.

 

[Rustyflwr3]

Like others have said, I would definately go ahead and invite everyone, including those who are not invited to the wedding. By having them at a bridal shower, it lets them know that they are still very important to you! People should understand that Disney has strict guidelines that must be followed! I am sure that everyone will understand what restrictions you have and that only the closest family and friends can attend! But I think that if they can participate in some way or another with your wedding, they should be pretty satisfied!

Do they have a destination wedding etiquette book ?? if not, they should!

Jessica

 

[sajetto]

I'm so glad you asked this question. My aunt offered to throw me a shower but I was scared to accept. Now, I guess it might be okay as long as I explain to everyonone at the shower about how strict DFTW is about the guest count.

 

[kellyanne731]

We're having a small beach ceremony & reception in Jersey, not Disney. 30 people max! I have to emphasize this, because people keep trying to make it bigger. But most of those 30 will be family, so not all of my friends can be invited. They understand not being invited to the wedding, but I wasn't sure if it was OK to invite them to a shower/bachlorette party/reception thing before the wedding.

After reading these posts, I think I'll go ahead and do it. Why not? I only plan on getting married once!

 

[bettyann29]

I say you should have a shower.. I know if it was me and I was unable to go to someones destination wedding whether not invited (and I would understand) or just not being able to attend, I would certainly want to go to a shower or reception at home..

 

[allisonswonderland]

Jess I am so glad that you posted this it helped me too!!!

 

[JessHooper]

Jess I am so glad that you posted this it helped me too!!!

You're so welcome! Thanks everyone, you've all been a great help.