Is it a man's world?

[MrsNick]

I work in a male dominated office. My co-workers take me seriously, but do not take the only other woman in my department seriously. I have not felt any difficulty in gaining men's respect when you treat them with respect, and aren't too high maintenance.

Haven't had any problems at the car dealer (matter of fact, I'm usually the one making the deal), or with the mechanic. Tell you the truth, maybe that's because they have a healthy respect for the green stuff, which they have to go through me to get.

Where I find it to be a man's world the most is in workplace policies regarding children, or lack thereof. The men in my department all have wives who stay at home with their children. When I have a baby, I will not have a "wife" to stay home to take care of the baby when I return to work. My company has an average (read inadequate) maternity leave policy. My company has no published policy about anything like flex time or telecommuting, no provisions for daycare, not even emergency daycare in case yours falls through. I have observed that mothers in my division do have a rough time, and some of them have had no choice but to move on. I think it causes a loss of experienced employees, but I'm just one more cog in the wheel here, so you can imagine how much my opinion counts.

Companies still treat their employees as if they were all men with stay at home wives. When this changes, I'll change my mind about it being a man's world.

 

[graygables]

I grew up with a dad in the army, 2 brothers and a mid-century mother. It is a male-dominated society! That said, my dad always taught me to assert myself. I usually tell mechanics, car salesmen, Home Depot workers, basically anyone who is about to assume I'm an idiot b/c I'm female the same thing: "I had to learn to crawl while wearing a dress so the synapses in my brain are highly developed. I am an intelligent individual and expect to be treated as such." I'm not snotty about it; they always get a little giggle and take a moment to consider the learning to crawl in a dress part.

 

[Marseeya]

If you take the attitude that it's a "man's world," then it will be.

So, do you think if we all pretend gender bias doesn't exist, it'll go away?

 

[Marseeya]

There is no man's work vs woman's work in my house.
I'm actually the one that does the lawn care. Although DH does do anything that I could hurt myself doing. Not because I'm the woman but because I'm clumsy and liable to hurt myself

We're the same way. My DH does all the outdoor work because I'm allergic to grass, and I do all the laundry because I don't mind it at all. Other than that, we kind of share cooking and cleaning. I actually keep track of the vehicle maintenance and take them in for servicing.

One thing I love about my DH is that he's actually always been more of a feminist than I am!

 

[jrydberg]

So, do you think if we all pretend gender bias doesn't exist, it'll go away?

Nope, I think if you want to find an excuse for lack of success you will. And, by and large, if you want to find away around any obstacles in your path, you will.

Most of the "gender" bias listed on this thread also applies to me. Should I cry foul as well? Personally, sounds like an awful lot of energy expended for no real benefit.

 

[Maleficent13]

What he said.

 

[Marseeya]

Nope, I think if you want to find an excuse for lack of success you will. And, by and large, if you want to find away around any obstacles in your path, you will.

Most of the "gender" bias listed on this thread also applies to me. Should I cry foul as well? Personally, sounds like an awful lot of energy expended for no real benefit.

I never find a discussion on any issue a waste of energy (no, not even the toilet paper debate... okay, well maybe that one!), and I don't see where anyone here has cried foul or made excuses for anything.

I was raised in a family of strong women -- women who wore (or shared, as the case may be) the pants in the family and worked full-time jobs to support their families 50/50, so it was certainly an eye opener when I was growing up to realize the rest of the world doesn't work this way.

 

[Serena]

I have that problem sometimes. When I was looking for a car, I went looking for the salesman that would talk to me. After I found that, then I talked about a car.
My ex was a mechanic, so whenever I would go somewhere else to get my car fixed, I knew what to ask for. And if they didn't listen, I would go somewhere else.
Sometimes, it would be to my advantage that I was female. All I had to do some places was say "help, I have no idea what I'm doing."
whatever works to get what I need.

 

[Amy]

It's definitely a man's world. Women ARE making great strides, but it's going to take a long time to overcome centuries of male domination. I hope to see a woman president soon, and I hope she succeeds at changing some attitudes.

Closer to home, DH is only too happy to let me cut the grass, take out the trash, pay the bills, research changing phone companies or new cars or whatever. Yet when I told him earlier this year that the brakes on my car felt funny/different, he blew me off - "yeah, sure, I'll look at them." He put it off until inspection time when the garage looked at them and it cost $400 to totally replace them.

My clothes dryer wasn't drying as well as it used to. I nagged and nagged DH until he cleaned out the vent to the outside (he had to do it since the vent went thru the garage and he had all his junk piled up in front of it). You should have seen all the lint - could have caused a fire. But if I didn't nag him to clean out the vent, he would have put it off, not taking me seriously.

I've told him constantly that I might not know mechanically what's wrong with something, but I DO know when it's not working properly and something might be wrong.

I think I married a male chauvanist, unless it'll benefit him to let me do something! Oh well; he's a sweetie when it comes to other things, and he's a great dad to the boys. I'll keep him!

 

[Crankyshank]

I don't think anyone is sitting on their butts lamenting their life because it's a man's world here.

I come from a long line of dominating strong women. The surrendered wife/king of the castle thing is totally alien to me. However I will freely admit that I've had issues come up where I would not have had to deal with them if I were a man. It's not crying foul. It's not becoming complacent - It's stating the obvious. One can talk about something or vent about it and still be working around or over the obstacles you're venting about.

 

[Pop Daddy]

as long as we pee standing up, where in charge

 

[Laurajean1014]

I've worked in business for about 20 years and I have seen lot of stuff that would make anyone vote "YES."

Just remember, lots of poop floats to the top!

 

[Marseeya]

Closer to home, DH is only too happy to let me cut the grass, take out the trash, pay the bills, research changing phone companies or new cars or whatever. Yet when I told him earlier this year that the brakes on my car felt funny/different, he blew me off - "yeah, sure, I'll look at them." He put it off until inspection time when the garage looked at them and it cost $400 to totally replace them.

Speaking of taking out the trash, that's been my son's job for a long time -- not because he's a male, but because he was the oldest and big enough to do it. So I was trying to come up with a similar chore for my DD and thought I might give her that chore and let my son pick something else for a change and she whined, "But Mommmm! That's a boy's job."

Oh no she didn't!

Guess who's taking out the trash now?

 

[Marseeya]

I don't think anyone is sitting on their butts lamenting their life because it's a man's world here.

I come from a long line of dominating strong women. The surrendered wife/king of the castle thing is totally alien to me. However I will freely admit that I've had issues come up where I would not have had to deal with them if I were a man. It's not crying foul. It's not becoming complacent - It's stating the obvious. One can talk about something or vent about it and still be working around or over the obstacles you're venting about.

I also think there are times where we might find it necessary to work the "system" (so to speak) to get what we need. Like the whole thing with my son and his IEP meetings. I could have really raised a fuss about them wanting to deal with my husband rather than me, but that wouldn't have done a darn bit of good for my DS, so I swallowed my pride and did whatever it took to get through those meetings making sure HIS needs were heard. I'll choose to fight the good ol' boy network over another issue.

 

[Marseeya]

I've worked in business for about 20 years and I have seen lot of stuff that would make anyone vote "YES."

Just remember, lots of poop floats to the top!

Does it float to the top when they're standing up peeing? We might want to let Pop Daddy know about that!

 

[nativetxn]

Sadly, it is still a man's world.