Is anyone else cutting back on spending this Christmas?

[HeatherC]

Gah. Now my SILs and MIL want to "meet halfway" (~2 1/2 hour drive) before Christmas to exchange gifts. I figured we'd just exchange when we met in January. I think our whole family would love to not gift (or do donation gifts), if not for my one SIL who insists on gifts to everyone (including stocking stuffers), and who is behind the pre-Christmas get-together. Sigh. Unreal.

ETA: I'm not going to be "that" in-law who cuts it all off.

Omg! I totally get this. My sil is the same way. We have a huge family with 16 nieces and nephews. This year I said I was just buying for the under 18’s. My sister agreed so I bought gifts yesterday from Amazon. This morning I get a text that they changed their minds and want to now do a grab bag for everyone because it won’t be fun otherwise. I’m like, “really?” Now some of these “kids” are like 27 years old. Christmas can be exhausting!

 

[QueenIsabella]

We are not cutting back our budget this year. We are doing things differently. We had a family meeting of sorts about a month ago. It was just my husband, my son 13, and my daughter 11. Long story short, we lost my mom over the summer to cancer. My mother's birthday is on Christmas Eve. We are not feeling like Christmas this year, but we decided to do our best to make my mom aka Grandma Julie proud...
We adopted two families for Christmas this year and are going to celebrate Grandma Julie by helping others. We told our extended family what we are doing and they completely accepted it. We asked for a toy for the adopted families instead of something for us.
Our kids will not go without. Santa will surely visit, but it will be more subdued than it has in the past.
Happy Holidays!

I feel your pain. My dad died 12/22/94, and we had his funeral Christmas Eve Day. I was 12 weeks pregnant with my oldest.

It gets easier, but I still struggle with the Christmas season. I wish you the best in making this a season of giving and remembering.

 

[disneyseniors]

We are not cutting back our budget this year. We are doing things differently. We had a family meeting of sorts about a month ago. It was just my husband, my son 13, and my daughter 11. Long story short, we lost my mom over the summer to cancer. My mother's birthday is on Christmas Eve. We are not feeling like Christmas this year, but we decided to do our best to make my mom aka Grandma Julie proud...
We adopted two families for Christmas this year and are going to celebrate Grandma Julie by helping others. We told our extended family what we are doing and they completely accepted it. We asked for a toy for the adopted families instead of something for us.
Our kids will not go without. Santa will surely visit, but it will be more subdued than it has in the past.
Happy Holidays!

I'm so sorry to hear of your Mother's passing. When this happens at Christmas it does make things sadder. My Dad passed away on my son's birthday on December 21st a few years ago. It was a sad time, but we did things in remembrance of him, too. Have a good Christmas too

 

[shh]

This morning I get a text that they changed their minds and want to now do a grab bag for everyone because it won’t be fun otherwise.

So many people feel this way - that the holidays aren't "fun" without the gift giving. I truly don't get it. Most of the time, I'm spending a ton and the gifts I get in return - despite pleading to the contrary - are always junky knick knacks, ill fitting clothing or cheap dollar store bath stuff.

If I can't eat it, drink it, spend it or visit it (i.e. some sort of trip or experience) chances are, I don't want it.

That's why I adore halloween - play, dress up, enjoy decorations - and Thanksgiving - feast on delicious food and gather with family - without all the gift pressure and expectations.

 

[lovesmurfs]

If I can't eat it, drink it, spend it or visit it (i.e. some sort of trip or experience) chances are, I don't want it.

Totally agree. No matter how many times (or kind of stores) I ask for gift cards, I get really awful stuff because (particularly that same SIL) says I'm "so easy to buy for." Just let me get an ice cream or burger...please?

 

[amez]

My husband and I last year agreed that we're doing two things for each other for Christmas: a stocking for Christmas morning and planning of a weekend trip, which will be revealed on Christmas morning (the trip can be any time over the course of the next year).

How or who is determining the trip? Just curious, I hear about some of the surprise destination trips you can be a part of and wasnt sure if it was that sort of thing or if one of you plans the trip. Definitely fun either way; I’m all about the opportunity to travel.

 

[MomToOne]

I thought I was cutting back. Then Black Friday and Cyber Monday happened.

That's me - although not specifically Black Friday/Cyber Monday this year, I got caught mostly in sales the week before so far.

I always have the best intentions of cutting back. But then I start seeing "good deals" on items DD21 would like/could use but not ones I had planned on getting. I start thinking "it's only $20-30 more dollars" and before you know it, I'm buying it. DD and her boyfriend will both be recipients of several gifts each come Christmas morning that fall into that bucket.

Although I have been better about it this year. My spending is **slowly** trending down year to year. And we aren't travelling again this year - usually we get together with all my siblings and we are the ones that travel cross country for this each year, but DD has to work so I called that off. That saves a BUNDLE - airfare, hotel, car rental, meals out, pet boarding, parking....it gets really expensive!

 

[MrsPete]

How or who is determining the trip? Just curious, I hear about some of the surprise destination trips you can be a part of and wasnt sure if it was that sort of thing or if one of you plans the trip. Definitely fun either way; I’m all about the opportunity to travel.

Each of us plans an inexpensive couple-day trip close enough to home to drive. Last year he planned a 3-night trip to the Outer Banks, and I planned one to ride the Virginia Creeper Trail.

 

[nycdisneygal]

With price of everything so high I am definitely spending less. We dont have many kids to spend on. My DH's family does not really send my kids anything. They dont really need much. SO much clutter. I have worked on their stocking stuffers but need a bigger present for them. I did get UGGS slippers for DD15. Her toes get so cold in winter. And I we dont keep our house super warm . I dont belive in all this crazy buying and gift giving. Its a waste of money often. Better to just give to kids. I am trying to limit what I get for myself overall anyways.

 

[Madteaparty001]

Secret Santa. That is the answer to so many over buying gift woes, my family decided a few years ago after a particularly crazy gift extravaganza year that we just couldn't keep up any more. Now no matter how big the family gets or what family friends ask to join in everyone is buying 1 gift capped at $50. Everyone is asked to make a wanted gift list of at least 5 things and it gets sent out to everyone. There's also a white elephant that is optional to participate in capped at $25, games are played and the first winner gets to pick the first gift. My husband's side, while on the poorer side, refuses to do secret Santa but they do cap it at $25 a gift and couples are considered a unit. The only exception is DD, she is the only grandchild on both sides so we don't limit the amount of gifts people give her though we beg desperately that they stick to her amazon wish list because she has so much 'stuff'. This kid wants books. Books, books, books, but that isn't a 'fun' present that others like to buy so we make a list of alternatives that aren't too crazy like switch games, fidget toys, fleece lined pants, etc (though I'll still list the series she wants just in case).

Honestly, I would be so much happier if there was no gifts at all but DH and I's mothers would never stand for that so we compromise.

Same. I got roasted years back for saying something similar here about the gifts that I get as a teacher. I'm super super grateful, write a lovely thank you note, and make sure that the student sees me using the mug or have the item displayed for the rest of that holiday season or school year but then I pack them up and every few years I donate. It's honestly stressful and makes me feel bad that they spent money on something that I won't keep or use for long but I am gifted around 10 mugs a year, stuffed animals, cute plaques with mottos or sayings. After 25 years, what could I possibly do with all of them. Add to that my small kitchen and modest home and I just don't have storage space. As my mom has aged, she also tends to give things that she deems "keepsakes" but they don't usually seem that way to me. Last year she gave us an expensive bottle of tequila and we made sure to rave. I love consumable gifts at this point.

I always think about this when the school Christmas party emails start rolling around. Luckily the way DD's school does it is each class has a 'head parent' that organizes collecting money from everyone at the beginning of the year. The money is then used for class party costs (crafts, snacks, goodie bags) throughout the year and gifts to the teacher for their birthday and Christmas based on a list of likes they are asked to fill out (usually gift cards are purchased to favorite restaurants or stores/spas they indicate they like).

 

[Cynt]

My husband and I have been cutting back over the years and gifting vacations to each other. We just don't need anything else. We'll actually be on a vacation cruise for Christmas. My sis liked the idea too so she's gifting her and my niece the same cruise. We have a large family so our Christmas gift to everyone siblings, nieces and nephews was onsite lodging accommodations for Disney this summer but we decided to go on a summer cruise on the Allure of the Seas instead. The cruise is much more budget friendly and more bang for our buck.

 

[MrsPete]

I'm changing the subject a little, but I purposefully pushed myself to do ALL my shopping very early this year. Our first grandchild was just born, and I wanted to be sure I was available to help my daughter -- and it's kinda backfired on me. Except for buying baby boy's Christmas stocking and Christmas candy, I've done literally no shopping. It hasn't felt like Christmas.