Friday, April 25, 2003
3:20 PM
Rock n Roller Coaster Hastily Rethemed
Breaking News
At a hastily assembled media gathering this morning, DisneyWorld announced that it was severing its ties to the rock band Aerosmith, specifically removing any reference to the group from the Rock n Roller Coaster at Disney Studios. Apparently, the incident stems from a Disney executive party last night, where high-echelon Disney leaders first viewed a number of Aerosmith videos.
Whoa, those are really something, said Daniel McRaney. Wed always assumed that no rock group other than Aerosmith could possibly uphold our good family values and protect our children better than Aerosmith. I had thought they sang kids songs or something. But then I just got a load of these videos. The lead singer is in drag in one of them! And then theres this one where Alicia Silverstone gives the finger. And then theres that one where Liv Tyler and Silverstone are wearing Catholic schoolgirl outfits, and then they do something in a photo booth, and they go skinny dipping with a sexy young lad, and also Tyler does a strip tease .oh, man, that was totally awesome! Er, I mean, we are appalled at such affronts to morality.
Disney was reportedly already searching for a replacement band with the proper wholesome image and kick-*** rock abilities. None have been named yet, but McRaney pointedly insisted that Ratt was not among the contenders, despite their pathetic, whiny, begging letters to the Disney corporation.
Disney has announced that, as a stopgap measure, the Rock n Roller Coaster will now use an exciting onboard soundtrack featuring the music of obscure and thoroughly unloved mid-twentieth-century classical composers.
I think everyone will be very excited to blast off into the darkness and through several loops to great music like Paul Crestons Fourth Symphony, Milton Babbitts Composition for Viola and Piano, the Berio Sequenza for Solo Oboe, and even the thrilling Elliot Carter Triple Duo, said McRaney.
--JCK
Could this rumoer be true?????
3:20 PM
Rock n Roller Coaster Hastily Rethemed
Breaking News
At a hastily assembled media gathering this morning, DisneyWorld announced that it was severing its ties to the rock band Aerosmith, specifically removing any reference to the group from the Rock n Roller Coaster at Disney Studios. Apparently, the incident stems from a Disney executive party last night, where high-echelon Disney leaders first viewed a number of Aerosmith videos.
Whoa, those are really something, said Daniel McRaney. Wed always assumed that no rock group other than Aerosmith could possibly uphold our good family values and protect our children better than Aerosmith. I had thought they sang kids songs or something. But then I just got a load of these videos. The lead singer is in drag in one of them! And then theres this one where Alicia Silverstone gives the finger. And then theres that one where Liv Tyler and Silverstone are wearing Catholic schoolgirl outfits, and then they do something in a photo booth, and they go skinny dipping with a sexy young lad, and also Tyler does a strip tease .oh, man, that was totally awesome! Er, I mean, we are appalled at such affronts to morality.
Disney was reportedly already searching for a replacement band with the proper wholesome image and kick-*** rock abilities. None have been named yet, but McRaney pointedly insisted that Ratt was not among the contenders, despite their pathetic, whiny, begging letters to the Disney corporation.
Disney has announced that, as a stopgap measure, the Rock n Roller Coaster will now use an exciting onboard soundtrack featuring the music of obscure and thoroughly unloved mid-twentieth-century classical composers.
I think everyone will be very excited to blast off into the darkness and through several loops to great music like Paul Crestons Fourth Symphony, Milton Babbitts Composition for Viola and Piano, the Berio Sequenza for Solo Oboe, and even the thrilling Elliot Carter Triple Duo, said McRaney.
--JCK
Could this rumoer be true?????
