Is $800/month worth the stress?

[Colleen27]

I fall into the category of a SAHM who has no desire to go back to work. Being active in my children's lives, volunteering at school and knowing the staff, and volunteering in my community are by far the most rewarding things that I could imagine doing in life.

I could have written this word-for-word.

I had a good paying job I enjoyed in a field I really enjoy. It still wasn't worth what I was missing at home, and I don't have any regrets about quitting. Yes, there is a certain degree of risk involved in being financially reliant upon DH, but it isn't something that keeps me up nights. We take our vows and our responsibility to our children seriously; no matter how tough things might get/have gotten between us at times, we are both too committed to our children to make any decisions that would hurt them.

I have been fortunate enough to return to school as an adult to pursue a degree in the field I have dreamed of since childhood. I put that on the back burner to have my youngest, and I haven't regretted that for a moment. College will still be there when she's older. And when I do finish that degree, I don't plan to put it to work in the full-time job market; it will just increase my marketability as a freelancer, working from home. Barring the unforeseeable, I don't plan to return to the full time workforce at all. I've gotten too attached to the freedom of staying home/freelancing.

 

[LovableGluttons]

I've been married for over 20 years. It's my only marriage. Both DH and I come from parents who have had only a single marriage and no divorces.

Most of DH's and my friends over the years have been through at least one divorce and have blended families now. Most of my children's friends have families that have weathered divorce as well.

While the idea that it may happen to one of us isn't a pleasant one, a little simple planning can help alleviate at least some of the financial stress of it.

I only mentioned it in my previous post because the divorce rate in our country is so high. It also happened to be something I took into consideration when I had to decide between work and staying at home with my children.


I apologize if bringing it up made anyone uncomfortable.

 

[disneygals]

Another thing to consider is that when your child starts elementary school, there will be time spent helping with homework, projects, etc.

There will also be school functions, maybe scouts or other activities that will take up your time. I think if the parent works part-time, it can be the best of both worlds.

 

[StephMK]

Being active in my children's lives, volunteering at school and knowing the staff, and volunteering in my community are by far the most rewarding things that I could imagine doing in life.

I think this is where the crux of this argument comes in between working and SAH moms....

And if every woman decided that working was the best route for them, these volunteer positions would go unfilled or be filled by people who do not have a passion for them.

I know you did not mean this in an argumentative way & please know I'm not replying in that way either. Just simply pointing out that I know working moms that are well involved & know the staff. One at our school is PTA officer, chairs events & Scout leader, another is breadwinner (DH is SAHD) & great cookie mom, lots of moms are like this where I live.

Honestly, I am NOT trying to start an argument, I have been in all roles - WOHM, WAHM, PT work, SAHM. I just felt I had to comment in support of the working moms I know that are truly really involved & do a great job.

I am happy for all moms to find the fit that works best for them & their family. I change my role based on what works best for our family at that time as I'm sure a lot of others do too.

 

[mhsjax]

While DH can help out, it is not realistic that he come home from work and go right to bed. Having worked swing shift, I can tell you that you need to unwind after working that shift just the same that you do working days. It always took me at least an hour or two to unwind before I could sleep, making it 2:00 or sometimes 3 am. Still there is a bit of time for tasks or errands between 10am and mid afternoon.

I totally agree, I think anyone that has worked swing shifts knows this. The sad thing is, the longer you work swing shifts the more your body gets out of wack. I worked at customer service for a credit card until midnight, it was usually 2 in the as before I could go to bed, and even once we had a baby and I quit work I couldn't go to sleep before then.

 

[DVCBELLE]

I know you did not mean this in an argumentative way & please know I'm not replying in that way either. Just simply pointing out that I know working moms that are well involved & know the staff. One at our school is PTA officer, chairs events & Scout leader, another is breadwinner (DH is SAHD) & great cookie mom, lots of moms are like this where I live.

Honestly, I am NOT trying to start an argument, I have been in all roles - WOHM, WAHM, PT work, SAHM. I just felt I had to comment in support of the working moms I know that are truly really involved & do a great job.

I am happy for all moms to find the fit that works best for them & their family. I change my role based on what works best for our family at that time as I'm sure a lot of others do too.

I am sorry - I didn't mean to imply that. That was FOR ME in my situation. I would never have the energy to do all the stuff I do if I was working full time as well - and I certainly could not spend as much time at school as I do.

 

[LovableGluttons]

I totally agree, I think anyone that has worked swing shifts knows this. The sad thing is, the longer you work swing shifts the more your body gets out of wack. I worked at customer service for a credit card until midnight, it was usually 2 in the as before I could go to bed, and even once we had a baby and I quit work I couldn't go to sleep before then.

That's my problem too! I worked 12 hour night shifts for 15 years straight. I moved 5 times and had two children during that time as well.

I would come home from work, DH would leave for work, I'd get the kids up and off to school, then do housework and laundry, then try to wind down for a bit so I could actually fall asleep.

I'd sleep MAYBE 4 hours if no one called or rang the doorbell, no kids were loud outside, no dogs barking nor planes flying overhead.

I'd wake up just before the kids were due to get home from school, help them with their homework, mqake dinner, DH would arrive home, we'd eat, I'd shower, then leave for another shift at work.

If I had that particular night off, I'd force myself to go shopping and stay busy so I could stay awakie all day, so I could sleep at night.

Now I work days, Monday through Friday, with online classes as I can fit them in.

I still have trouble winding down enough to fall asleep at a decent time.

 

[jlima]

Wow - seriously? Every mom I know, whether a SAHM, full time working mom, or part time working mom puts their kids and their needs at the very front of their priority list. Why not give the OP the benefit of that doubt!

What I meant was so many here were talking about just $$$ and not her DS. I would move heaven and earth if my DSs could benefit from it and I'm sure the OP would too. The stress would be worth it to me. It seemed like no one mentioned DS when trying to give advice.

 

[Poohbear5]

I went with the parttime and have no regrets.
I think it works much better for my whole family.

 

[squirrel]

Not sure what your job is but would your employer allow you to work less hours? Maybe working one less hour each day will give you that extra time you need to do other things (for yourself and family).

 

[MinnieForMe]

If you don't need the money to survive, I would pick your family and your health! Stress can do a lot of harm to your body and it sounds like you are under a heavy burden.

Do you coupon? CVS? There are many ways to make or save money.