Inviting Teenage Friends On Holiday -- Advice please

[4evryoung]

Family is me (widowed mum aged 49), and two boys (currently 11 and 13), experienced mousemovers. Challenge is that in a bid to get to know my boys better in their teenage re-incarnation, I've agreed to invite the eldest's 2 best friends along on our next Disney trip. Feb'06 will be our 6th trip, the second as DVC owners. Am I totally mad to be inviting two additional teenagers -- who will be 14 at point of travel -- to cross the Atlantic with us and exerience the magic?

Has anyone done this -- taken teenagers on en-masse in an attempt to understand the mental-mapping of 14 year olds? And if so, can you hold my hand and re-assure me that it will be all right; that 12-days of teenage angst multiplied by 4 will be a survivable experience for a well-intentioned mother....

P.S. they're nice boys....
P.S.S. We're at SSR Feb 16-20; WLV Feb 21-23; Universal:Feb 24-27 --|Lock up your daughters....

 

[Martha7]

I admire your spunk! Have the parents of the 14 year olds already agreed to the trip? That's a long way away, and you'd have to be pretty sure that the dynamics would work out. For example, what would happen if the two 14 year olds decided to exclude your boys? (I'm always imagining the worst possible scenario, which is why I've never invited any of my boys' friends!) Can you try to take them somewhere closer to home first to see how it goes? I think boys of 11, 13 and 14 are all kind of a challenge. The last time I took my two boys at that age, they fought relentlessly. I hadn't brought my DH along, and boy, what a difference in their behavior! I vowed never to do it again without another adult! Please let us know what you decide!

 

[fran99999]

I think it may work out better than you think. with 4 of them they will be able to break down into 2 groups so noone will be alone ie on rides, bathroom breaks, and if one wants to swim at least one of them will be willing i's sure. I take my 2 DD's 16 and as much as they are different when they go to disney they stay close. It is different for my DS6 he always wants to do something different (age difference) I hate to go on the rides. this way You will have at least 1 volunteer to go with/without you. Leaving noone alone. If your mother wants to ride something and you dont again someone will be talked into going so she wont be alone.

Yes they may scrap just make sure noone is left out. I make it one of the rules if one excludes the other then both must sit out. so if one of them says I dont want to go with her then none of us go there. It works. I have had only 2 out and out verbal fights in 7 trips in total. thats not to bad in my opinion and they made up much faster when they realized it was all or nothing.

P.S. Maybe write a list of rules for them to sign for the trip. With the consquences if not followed. At 14 they will be pretty hard to keep up with good luck.

 

[staci]

I was allowed to take a friend when we were 17. I would have to ask my mom for sure but I dont think we drove her nuts

I had a ton of fun, and I dont remember any problems. Our only rule was that we NEEDED to included my brother, who was 13, since he did not have a friend with him. It worked out well becuase my brother had a crush on my friend, which kept him in check all week but really it was a wonderful trip. My friend would never have been able to go to disney without my parents taking her along, and she had a wonderful time too.

Have fun! Make sure to get some type of medical release in case something should happen!

 

[dtsaos]

It sounds like it could be fine but if I was you....I would try to bring a friend of my own! Teenagers usually like to be on their own quite a bit and you will probably be lonely-unless you like that which I can understand too! Also, just wondering...why not take a friend of each boy instead of 2 of your older son's friends? won't that cause some resentment from your younger son-that he wasn't allowed to take a friend of his along?

Anyway, you are brave-good luck!

 

[MrsPete]

You can learn so much about children through their interaction with their friends! As our girls approach their teen years, we're trying to make our house a haven for teens. I'd rather be the mom who deals with messes and an empty refrigerator than the one who can't name her children's friends.

Is the younger son okay with his brother taking friends while he's "on his own"? I agree with others that four boys is a good number -- four can ride "evenly" on most rides.

I suggest that you have at least one sleepover at your house or perhaps a day trip with the group ahead of time. Be sure to share a meal with them -- you can learn so much about people while breaking bread. This will help you pinpoint the group's potential problems. Does money burn a hole in one boy's pocket? Does one want to run ahead of the group while another lags behind? Any non-swimmers in the group? Is anyone the "odd man out"? Is one boy a picky eater? Most likely the things you'll discover will be trivial, but it's better to know them ahead of time.

I'd discuss money IN DETAIL with the boys and their parents. Meals, snacks, souveniers . . . don't assume anything.

I'd also draw up a list of rules and consequences the trip. Make sure that every teen understands that your word is iron-clad law. What are your thoughts on splitting up in the parks? The boys going out to the hotel pool in the evening without you? The boys heading over to a park in the evening while you're at the hotel? Is your bedroom your haven, or are they allowed to walk right in? I'm not suggesting what rules you should implement -- just that you should make the decisions and inform the boys of their limitations well before the trip.

Since they probably will be splitting off on their own, arrange a meeting place ahead of time and make sure that every boy takes along a watch. What is the penalty for keeping the rest of the group waiting?

Since you're staying in a DVC place, discuss your expectations for cleanliness, help with cooking meals, etc. well ahead of time.

I'm sure you've already thought about discussing potential medical problems with the parents ahead of time. You should carry notorized statements giving you permission to make medical decisions, should an emergency arise.

Have all the boys flown before? You might need to explain exactly what they may and may not bring on the plane. I'm always amazed when I take my daughters' scout troop out, and some girls arrive with tennis shoes and hair brushes TIED TO the outside of their duffle bags. They don't understand why these things are lost in transit.

 

[Maria395712]

I started taking their friends at about 15 years old DD now 21 and DS19 last july 04 I took daughters 2 friends 19 at the time and my son took 1. at 18 DD took 2 friends again and son 1 she always needs someone my son doesn't care he will hang with dad but if dad doesn't go he takes a friend.am I crazy yes but we have fun and believe it or not we all hang together 85-90 % of the time. son took a friend to cancun last summer and the first time daughter didn't. me DD21 and her friend 20 are going oct 19-23 DS says can't miss 1 day of classes DD will miss 1 day
maria