Invite via text

[Darth Boeder]

I just got an invite via text form my cousin for her wedding on June 1st in Tahoe. She has not sent out invitations yet as she does not have ink for her printer. I really do not wish to attend but she keeps wanting me to go so I can help her decorate the area etc.

Back story. I do wedding planning as a second job. I was planning her wedding with her when all of a sudden she just stopped return calls, emails etc. Then I got the text. Iawas not charging her for my services and I was doing all the floral pieces as well.

I how do I tastefully decline?

 

[katesorad]

I just got an invite via text form my cousin for her wedding on June 1st in Tahoe. She has not sent out invitations yet as she does not have ink for her printer. I really do not wish to attend but she keeps wanting me to go so I can help her decorate the area etc.

Back story. I do wedding planning as a second job. I was planning her wedding with her when all of a sudden she just stopped return calls, emails etc. Then I got the text. Iawas not charging her for my services and I was doing all the floral pieces as well.

I how do I tastefully decline?

I'd say something to the effect of, "I regret to say that I cannot be attending your wedding due to personal affairs that I will have going on during the time of your event." and send them congratulations. Maybe a card or a small gift.

 

[wvjules]

I just got an invite via text form my cousin for her wedding on June 1st in Tahoe. She has not sent out invitations yet as she does not have ink for her printer. I really do not wish to attend but she keeps wanting me to go so I can help her decorate the area etc.

Back story. I do wedding planning as a second job. I was planning her wedding with her when all of a sudden she just stopped return calls, emails etc. Then I got the text. Iawas not charging her for my services and I was doing all the floral pieces as well.

I how do I tastefully decline?

Wait until you get the actual paper invitation then RSVP your regrets.

 

[FireDancer]

Just email her a link to this thread...problem solved.

 

[Darth Boeder]

She will be having her reception in August closer to home. We live close to San Francisco.

 

[skiingfast]

I saw this thread title on the main DIS page and had to look. My Thoughts->


Invite by text is pretty tacky. Let alone helping her plan and then stop contacting you is a little rude to say the least.

I do like the idea of waiting for a paper mail invitation. Though even if you get one, I'd RSVP later than she hopes to get replies. Just say no and send a small gift. An inperonal one at that.

 

[mamacatnv]

Text???? wow, how does she even know you got it?
I'd ignore it and wait for the paper copy then send your regrets.

 

[wvjules]

I'm not thinking it was a true invite, just a text saying what the actual wedding date is...kinda of a heads up type of thing.

 

[Darth Boeder]

She gave the date location and time of the wedding. She also suggested a local hotel. Not only did I get but a several other family memebers. She then asked if I can attend. She said she is not sure when she can send out invites since they are paying for there own wedding and they so not have the $$$ for the ink for the printer. She is 43 and it is her second wedding.

 

[pixiewings71]

You said you were originally helping her with the wedding planning, so did you already know the date? If not then just reply and say "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was this date, I have plans already that cannot be changed but I will be thinking of you." If you did know the date then it gets a bit more complicated....

 

[kwelch10377]

Do you not want to attend because you just don't want to go or because of the issues with her wanting you to help decorate and do the floral centerpieces and you don't want to?

Was the expectation already there that you were doing these things and if so did you tell her you were no longer doing them? If not she still may think you are doing them.

.

 

[dakcp2001]

Text back a "sorry cant make it" or wait for the paper invite. You do not have to justify your decision or give a reason, if she presses, just say you can't make it you have another commitment. Sounds like she is using you.

 

[Darth Boeder]

Her original date was in august which is now her reception date she was suppose to do the reception and ceremony on the same day. I had no idea she changed the date until I got the text. Since she stopped replying to my emails and phone calls I told her that I would no longer be helping her since she could no longer respond to me. I had already ordered her save the dates for her August date on it. So I need to contact the vendor and let them know we will no longer need those as well as the church that she was going to use.

I hope she does not think that I am going to do everything for her. I will be glad to help some but not like I was before.

I do not want to go because it is on a Wednesday and I have to miss work to drive up there. Not to mention that I am already missing work on Monday because of Memorial Day.

 

[ksjayhawks]

Wait until you get a paper invitation and simply rsvp "no" or "cannot attend"----you do not need to give an explanation. If there is not paper invitation and you get another text, then reply "I will not be able to attend. I hope you have a nice day!"

 

[kwelch10377]

Her original date was in august which is now her reception date she was suppose to do the reception and ceremony on the same day. I had no idea she changed the date until I got the text. Since she stopped replying to my emails and phone calls I told her that I would no longer be helping her since she could no longer respond to me. I had already ordered her save the dates for her August date on it. So I need to contact the vendor and let them know we will no longer need those as well as the church that she was going to use.

I hope she does not think that I am going to do everything for her. I will be glad to help some but not like I was before.

I do not want to go because it is on a Wednesday and I have to miss work to drive up there. Not to mention that I am already missing work on Monday because of Memorial Day.

A simple I can't attend since I can't miss work is all you need to say.

As for offering to help at all I wouldn't bother. If she can't properly communciate plans and changes to you now, then I wouldn't expect her to do so for the reception planning and I think you will end up in the same position.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I just got an invite via text form my cousin for her wedding on June 1st in Tahoe. She has not sent out invitations yet as she does not have ink for her printer. I really do not wish to attend but she keeps wanting me to go so I can help her decorate the area etc.

Back story. I do wedding planning as a second job. I was planning her wedding with her when all of a sudden she just stopped return calls, emails etc. Then I got the text. Iawas not charging her for my services and I was doing all the floral pieces as well.

I how do I tastefully decline?

"I am unable to attend due to prior commitments".