Rajah
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 17, 1999
- Messages
- 9,633
(Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I just spent 15 minutes typing up a summary for today on the tablet PC DH brought home for me to use, and then hit some button combination somehow and erased everything I'd written. *GRRRRRRRRRRRRR* So we'll try this *again* *muttergrumble*)
Overall, today was a pretty good day. Seems kinda strange, but it was.
For the most part, things were pretty normal for me, or at least pretty much like what they were before Christmas. I was unmotivated to work on much of anything at work, all I wanted to do was come home to play PS2 games, read, cross stitch, or sleep. But at least I wanted to come home and essentially *play* instead of come home and *hide*. That's a big distinction right now.
One thing I did accomplish today was already taking up my dad's reins with the graphics work. Though, technically, most of what I worked on was *text*, it was done in Illustrator and involved layout. That was actually quite nice and I actually rather enjoyed that. Not only was it because that was something my dad used to do, but it was also something very important (someone else had been trying to figure out how to correct it with this year's information for several days apparently). And, working on it not only let me work with a program I love, not only let me do something important my dad used to do, but also had me using skills my dad taught me over the past several years. I can remember doing something similar to this back in Jr High and learning more and more of how to do this kind of stuff throughout High School. So it brought back a lot of cherished father-daughter memories.
I did have one very hard hurdle I passed today, though. About an hour before I left for the day, I had to take something down to a coworker whose cube is right next to where my dad used to sit. To get to his cube, I had to see my dad's. That really hurt, let me tell you.
And if it weren't for the fact that I don't want to take any more personal time unless I absolutely *had* to, my cubemate was gone so I could go upstairs to my cube and be alone, and I had plans for the evening an hour and a half later that I really wanted to do, I would have gone home after that. I used to go down to his cube at least 3 times a day, and to look in and see it stripped of everything that was *him* really hurt, even though I have all that stuff up at my desk now.
But, though it hurt, it was a good step I think. Yesterday it took all the strength I had to even walk down the hall that has his cube, let alone *to* it. I couldn't even pass it yesterday. And this weekend, I couldn't even come in that half of the office. So though the steps hurt, they are at least steps forward.
But I really miss him. I really do, and I hate that he did this. I also talked to another past coworker and good friend of my dad's and let him know what happened (most people at work don't know the details) and he said he'd noticed some of the strange things my dad was doing, too, when he talked to my dad over the last 3-4 weeks of last year. So we have a non-family person who agrees with our observations that something was *physically* wrong with my dad beyond "just" depression.
Then, on top of going by my dad's cube, I made the mistake of coming back to my cube and going through some of the personal files from his hard drive that a coworker archived to CD for me (I was looking for something in particular that we really *need* on Thursday). That made me even more upest, and it really was only because of the activity tonight that I stayed then.
The activity in question was an embroidery guild meeting that I wanted to attend. I've been wanting to try out this guild for several months now, but because of my school schedule, I couldn't until this month. My friend decided to join me, and I was looking forward to that event.
So after work, we met up and went to the meeting. Which consisted of 4 people.
*Something* happened to the meeting, whether it was cancelled, moved, time-changed... the 2 members who showed up didn't know and couldn't reach someone who did, and obviously we had no idea.
It was still a bit fun, getting together and stitching with a couple of others who enjoy crafts like that. And one of the ladies who was there was into beading and gave us a bunch of information on beading that I had wanted to know, so the time wasn't wasted. It just wasn't quite what I expected. I had a good enough time, though, that I'm going to keep trying. One of the members took my name and phone number and promised to call with the meeting info once she found out what was going on. Hopefully she'll remember and be able to find out.
After that, came home and called my mom, visited with her for a while. She said she's been having calls from a bunch of the lady friends she's made over the past couple of years in china painting, most of whom were widowed as well and offering advice. So that was good for her. I think.
My poor mom sounded so worn out and exhausted, though. It's really taking a toll on her to stay at that house right now. And that was *after* her doctor's appointment (good doctor, gave her some good information and stuff) and meeting up with me for lunch. She's trying to figure out what she'll have to change about her lifestyle now that she doesn't have my dad any more to do some stuff for her.
Most pressing of those items is figuring out why her back porch light won't work now. The bulb appeared burned out (a halogen bulb, not just a typical screw-in bulb), so we got a replacement bulb. But it still won't light. My mom and DH checked the circuit breakers and looked for any of those GFCI or whatever outlets they are that trip when water gets on them. No luck on those. Next step we know of is to put the bulb in another lamp to make sure it's good, but my mom can't do that (she physically can't get the bulb out ), we didn't think of that step until after DH had left yesterday, and neither DH nor I were able to go by today. But if that doesn't work (that is, the bulb works in the second place but not in the first), I'm not sure what we'll try next. There are two steps a couple of coworkers suggested, but my mom and DH sure aren't qualified to do those steps. Strange that I'm the most qualified, with my geophysics background. 
And I'd kinda prefer to have someone who knows what he or she is doing looking over my shoulder to make sure I'm doing it right -- it *has* been... oh... 6 or 7 years since I used a voltimeter (not even sure I'm spelling that right ). But all the coworkers I asked only volunteered instructions and "be careful", no actual *help*. *sigh*
Now I'm sleepy again, so I'm going to go crash for the night.
Is it the weekend yet? I want it to be the weekend. I don't know at this rate whether or not I'll make it to the weekend without having to use some personal time, but I'm going to try.
Overall, today was a pretty good day. Seems kinda strange, but it was.
For the most part, things were pretty normal for me, or at least pretty much like what they were before Christmas. I was unmotivated to work on much of anything at work, all I wanted to do was come home to play PS2 games, read, cross stitch, or sleep. But at least I wanted to come home and essentially *play* instead of come home and *hide*. That's a big distinction right now.
One thing I did accomplish today was already taking up my dad's reins with the graphics work. Though, technically, most of what I worked on was *text*, it was done in Illustrator and involved layout. That was actually quite nice and I actually rather enjoyed that. Not only was it because that was something my dad used to do, but it was also something very important (someone else had been trying to figure out how to correct it with this year's information for several days apparently). And, working on it not only let me work with a program I love, not only let me do something important my dad used to do, but also had me using skills my dad taught me over the past several years. I can remember doing something similar to this back in Jr High and learning more and more of how to do this kind of stuff throughout High School. So it brought back a lot of cherished father-daughter memories.
I did have one very hard hurdle I passed today, though. About an hour before I left for the day, I had to take something down to a coworker whose cube is right next to where my dad used to sit. To get to his cube, I had to see my dad's. That really hurt, let me tell you.
And if it weren't for the fact that I don't want to take any more personal time unless I absolutely *had* to, my cubemate was gone so I could go upstairs to my cube and be alone, and I had plans for the evening an hour and a half later that I really wanted to do, I would have gone home after that. I used to go down to his cube at least 3 times a day, and to look in and see it stripped of everything that was *him* really hurt, even though I have all that stuff up at my desk now.But, though it hurt, it was a good step I think. Yesterday it took all the strength I had to even walk down the hall that has his cube, let alone *to* it. I couldn't even pass it yesterday.
And this weekend, I couldn't even come in that half of the office. So though the steps hurt, they are at least steps forward.But I really miss him. I really do, and I hate that he did this.
I also talked to another past coworker and good friend of my dad's and let him know what happened (most people at work don't know the details) and he said he'd noticed some of the strange things my dad was doing, too, when he talked to my dad over the last 3-4 weeks of last year. So we have a non-family person who agrees with our observations that something was *physically* wrong with my dad beyond "just" depression.Then, on top of going by my dad's cube, I made the mistake of coming back to my cube and going through some of the personal files from his hard drive that a coworker archived to CD for me (I was looking for something in particular that we really *need* on Thursday). That made me even more upest, and it really was only because of the activity tonight that I stayed then.
The activity in question was an embroidery guild meeting that I wanted to attend. I've been wanting to try out this guild for several months now, but because of my school schedule, I couldn't until this month. My friend decided to join me, and I was looking forward to that event.
So after work, we met up and went to the meeting. Which consisted of 4 people.
*Something* happened to the meeting, whether it was cancelled, moved, time-changed... the 2 members who showed up didn't know and couldn't reach someone who did, and obviously we had no idea.It was still a bit fun, getting together and stitching with a couple of others who enjoy crafts like that. And one of the ladies who was there was into beading and gave us a bunch of information on beading that I had wanted to know, so the time wasn't wasted. It just wasn't quite what I expected. I had a good enough time, though, that I'm going to keep trying. One of the members took my name and phone number and promised to call with the meeting info once she found out what was going on. Hopefully she'll remember and be able to find out.
After that, came home and called my mom, visited with her for a while. She said she's been having calls from a bunch of the lady friends she's made over the past couple of years in china painting, most of whom were widowed as well and offering advice. So that was good for her. I think.
My poor mom sounded so worn out and exhausted, though. It's really taking a toll on her to stay at that house right now.
And that was *after* her doctor's appointment (good doctor, gave her some good information and stuff) and meeting up with me for lunch. She's trying to figure out what she'll have to change about her lifestyle now that she doesn't have my dad any more to do some stuff for her.Most pressing of those items is figuring out why her back porch light won't work now. The bulb appeared burned out (a halogen bulb, not just a typical screw-in bulb), so we got a replacement bulb. But it still won't light. My mom and DH checked the circuit breakers and looked for any of those GFCI or whatever outlets they are that trip when water gets on them. No luck on those. Next step we know of is to put the bulb in another lamp to make sure it's good, but my mom can't do that (she physically can't get the bulb out
), we didn't think of that step until after DH had left yesterday, and neither DH nor I were able to go by today. But if that doesn't work (that is, the bulb works in the second place but not in the first), I'm not sure what we'll try next. There are two steps a couple of coworkers suggested, but my mom and DH sure aren't qualified to do those steps. Strange that I'm the most qualified, with my geophysics background. And I'd kinda prefer to have someone who knows what he or she is doing looking over my shoulder to make sure I'm doing it right -- it *has* been... oh... 6 or 7 years since I used a voltimeter (not even sure I'm spelling that right ). But all the coworkers I asked only volunteered instructions and "be careful", no actual *help*. *sigh*Now I'm sleepy again, so I'm going to go crash for the night.
Is it the weekend yet? I want it to be the weekend. I don't know at this rate whether or not I'll make it to the weekend without having to use some personal time, but I'm going to try.
