Inspired: Do you think daughters parents or sons parents

[skooniebird]

I am a mom with 3 kids. My parents are definitely closer to my children than DH's are. We live 5 houses away from mine. LOL But we are only 4 miles from DH's and we only see them maybe twice a year. Last year my FIL came to my youngest's kindergarten class to speake about fire safety, as he is a firemarshal in our area, and he didn't even recognize my son. Son's teacher said "do you know him" and my son said "i think that's my other grandpa." When I picked him up he said " grandpa Schoonover was at school today, not REAL grandpa" So I guess REAL grandpa is my dad to him. It's sad, but they make no effort towards us. When they do come to one of the kids birthdays or something, they never stay more than 30 minutes, always saying they have something else to do. We love them and if they are happy this way we've come to deal with it. But it really is their loss. They have 8 grandchildren within 4 miles of them who they only see a couple times a year and never call or inquire about or anything.

 

[sakura-panda]

I think it depends on the people involved -- there is a 50-50 chance that one will be closer than the other.

In our case, I am an only child and we had DS after being married for almost 8 years -- my mom has been chomping at the bit for grandchildren and her number 1 complaint is that we keep him to ourselves too much.

On the other hand, DH's parents are divorced and remarried, and ds is the third grandchild on one side, fourth on the other. I don't know if they seem less enthusiastic because they have been through this all before, or if it is because they are trying to let my parents enjoy their first grandchild (in both of those cases, the other in-laws for DH's nieces and nephew are less involved than DH's family is).

I think that DH is closer to his family than I am to mine, but that DS is closer to my family than he is to DH's.

--Katie

 

[rt2dz]

I think it is completely dependent on a whole host of factors.

My in-laws have 3 boys. They are very close to their oldest son's daughter--she's over at their house all the time. And she barely knows her mother's side of the family. Now, our kids they barely acknowledge. Ok, slight exagration, but not by too much. We do live further away (2 hours v. same town) and with the shape of their house (holes in the floors & such), I don't like my kids over there. And DH agrees. My parents are super close to my kids (and all the other grandkids--even those that live 1000 miles away); by intent.

Now one of my BIL parents are as close to their kids as my parents are. Both are there for everything, and his parents live 5 hours away. But BIL was the youngest of 6 (all boys, but 1) and the only to have kids--late 30s too.

 

[Stacerita]

I think it depends on the grandparents. The sweetpea only has my parents for grandparents and they are extremely close. But they are also close to my brother's kids. Now my SIL's parents have every opportunity to be close to her kids, but they choose to see them only occasionally. So my parents are close to both their son's and daughter's kids.

 

[Tiggeroo]

generally it's the dd's parents. But i'm hoping it won't be that way as I have two sons. I want to be an involved grandparent who bakes cookies and takes them for icecream and of course to wdw. So i'm planning on cultivating a good relationship with the dil's when they come along.