Inspired by the 17 yr old DD w/ bf in room thread.....

[mudnuri]

Since the topic of birth control came up in the thread this is inspired by, I thought I'd ask...

I went on BC at 16, though I was umm you know...before that...

I have 2 DD's age 6 & 7 so have a ways to go before BC days...but

How old are/were your DD's when they went on BC...did they ask you? Did you recommend....?? If they are not on BC whose choice is/was it..???

If you have DS's have you spoken to them about condoms...supplied them...etc.??

PLEASE DO NOT DEBATE IF THEY SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT...THIS IS THE COMMUNITY BOARD..

Brandy

 

[Serena]

I talked to my daughter about what she should do before she did anything. I would have preferred her to ask me, but she didn't. What she did do was be very responsible and went to a clinic near the school and they talked with her and gave her what she needed.
Her bf that had had lots of experiences was tested for everything, they waited 6 months and they tested him again, before she would do anything with him.

She told me all this afterwards.

I say tell them what they need to know, who they can talk to if they don't want to talk with you, where they can go and all that. This is after telling them they can't do anything until age 35.
But it is best they be prepared.

 

[DukeStreetKing]

My daughter was almost 17 when I took her to the doctor for birth control. Her mother felt it was giving her permission to have sex if we put her on birth control. I told her I was too young to be a grandfather so I took care of it. Plus my daughter got some further education from someone other than her parents.

 

[Hillbeans]

My DS is 3 and I can't even imagine having this conversation.

That being said, I will probably have the talk when he's around 11 ish, give or take. My parents never had that talk with me and I really wish they had. The one thing I think is important is to answer kids questions as they come up, without giving too much information at too young of an age. At 6, they don't need to know all the details, but can probably know that the stork doesn't drop a baby off on your doorstep.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

i went on the pill when i was 18..my mom knew about it and took me to dr...

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

After my unexpected feminine surgery in February my surgeon actually put me on birth control. My mom knows about it . I never told her but she put two and two together.

 

[Manda1219]

I went on it through Planned Parenthood when I was 18, for reasons of both responsibility and for medical reasons as well. Six months later my mother decided it was time, so we went to her Dr. (she was unaware I was on it) and that was that!

 

[MScott1851]

My mom took me to the OB/Gyn at age 16 because I was having horrific menstrual cycles. The MD suggested oral contraceptives, and my mother had no problem with that at all...I wasn't even sexually active, so it was for medical purposes only.

My parents are very strict, hardcore Church of Christ, so the subject of my pills being for anything other than relief of cramps/heavy periods didn't arise again until I was in college, and by then, it was a non-issue.

Looking back, I don't know whether my mother was thinking about birth control or not, but she was successful in providing me with it without my dad having a conniption. Also, I don't think that being on the Pill made a difference in my attitude towards having sex...I was on birth control quite a while before I made any decisions about that.

 

[Aimeedyan]

My mom was always VERY open about sex in our home, and urged us to come to her if and when we wanted any BC.

In my case, I didn't need any... we waited until we were married to do the deed, but I always knew I could ask mom if I had to... Though I admit if I had decided to have sex, I would have gone to Planned Parenthood without her... as a teenager, I went through this stage where my mom and I were very distant... I think thats often normal for teenage girls and their moms. I knew PP was always an option (had friends that used them), so I wouldn't have done anything without protection =)

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My dd will be 13 in a couple of weeks. She already has "hounds" at the door, on the phone...ugh. I think if she is driving and going on car dates, then she should be on the pill. I hate to think like that but I also want to be realistic.

 

[ShuisFan584]

I'm 19, almost 20, and still haven't been to *that* doctor yet. My mom keeps telling me that I should go, but I guess I've always been too scared. She's wanted me to go on birth control for the past couple years, for a different reason than protection. I'll go eventually, just gotta get up the nerve to do it.

 

[Manda1219]

Originally posted by ShuisFan584
I'm 19, almost 20, and still haven't been to *that* doctor yet. My mom keeps telling me that I should go, but I guess I've always been too scared. She's wanted me to go on birth control for the past couple years, for a different reason than protection. I'll go eventually, just gotta get up the nerve to do it.

It's not that scary I promise Do yourself a favor and go, don't mess around with your health!

 

[DSNY FN]

MScott my wife had the same thing when she was younger with terrible cramping etc so at 13 the doctor put her on them for medical reasons. We wil talk to our daughter when she reaches 12 she is 7 now. I was never told about the stuff I just went and bought my condoms at the drug store. Funny the looks you get as a young male buying condoms all I would say to people that gaveme funny looks was hey atleast I am protecting myself and my GF. I was only 15 when I had my real first encounter but I knew enough then to use protection.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

Originally posted by ShuisFan584
I'm 19, almost 20, and still haven't been to *that* doctor yet. My mom keeps telling me that I should go, but I guess I've always been too scared. She's wanted me to go on birth control for the past couple years, for a different reason than protection. I'll go eventually, just gotta get up the nerve to do it.

I was scared too and then I ended up in the strange town 20 hours from my parents with severe feminine bleeding. Turns out I had a blood clot and a tear in my ******l wall.
I was terrified because I had never had an exam before but I had to do it to figure out why I was bleeding. Turns out I had to have surgery and my hemoglobin was already dropping after only a few hours. So I am really glad it happened.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Since I'd been working at the local Free Clinic for years I was always very open with DD about birth control and stuff like that.


Sadly though, she insisted she wasn't sexually active (we knew better) and even when I physically and gladly drove her and her boyfriend to Planned Parenthood, the two of them STILL chose NOT to use birth control.

Sometimes a parent simply has no control even in ideal informational situations like we had. Sometimes kids simply don't/won't listen and you can't force them. *as much as you'd like to force them, you aren't allowed to do so.*

 

[Evil Princess]

When I was 16 I went to Planned Parenthood behind my mothers back and went on the pill. I didn't have a car and at this point my boyfriend didn't either, so when it came time for a refill I neglected to get one. Still used condoms though, I was very safe about everything.

Back at college my mom finally gave me "permission" this year to go on the pill. Within the first month I gained 10 pounds. Don't get me wrong, I love the pill and the short periods, but I really can't deal with 10 extra pounds. I'm only 5'1 and 10 pounds on me SHOWS very quickly. I'm going to the gyno at home to talk and see if maybe switching pills would help. I really can't live with the change in my body at this time.

 

[princesspumpkin]

I was 16 when I went to PP (had not done "the deed" yet, but was thinking about it). I'm still waiting for the talk from my mom (I'll be 40). All I can say is, thank God for PP's free BC clinic. I had friends who told me about it (peer pressure, you know. They thought I was crazy because my bf and I hadn't "done it" yet-we'd been dating a year). I'll probably have the BC talk with DD-7 when she's around 12 or so. As much as I would want her to come to me when she thought it was "time", I totally understand that she might not want to and I hope that PP is still there for her.

 

[poohandwendy]

I have always been very open with my kids about, well pretty much everything. There really is no topic that cannot be discussed. Although, my personal experiences are my business and I only share the ones that I feel are relevant to my children or what they are going through.

When my eldest turned 17 (in Jan), I made appts for myself and her at the gyne. She did not want to go, but I told her "It is time." Period.

First, she has to take an active role in her health. I think it is important for women to have an ongoing relationship with their gynecologist before they need them for birth control, pregnancy or female related problems. This makes it less stressful when they finally do have a problem, situation or a question, IMO.

Also, her personal life is something that I am not necessarily privy to (without doubt, LOL). She is in her first 'serious' relationship and I cannot know when/if she is sexually active. Being naive to the fact that she may be does noone any good, IMO. It is my responsibility to make sure she has the opportunity to protect herself if/when she needs to. She needs to be able to talk openly with a doctor she trusts, if needed, IMO.

Basically, I gave her the option no questions asked, I took her there and I left it up to her to take the next step if needed. I do not know if she took it for BC, I really don't need to.

She wasn't thrilled to go, but I feel she is better equipped for the next time. I explained to her that it isn't just about sex, it is about her health. Taking responsibility for your HEALTH is part of growing up.

 

[AirForceRocks]

I would only add that for those that say they aren't going to talk to their daughters about sex until they are 11 or 12...I personally wouldn't wait that long. I know it sounds odd to say "that long" when we're talking about sex and 11/12 year olds, but unfortunately the world we live in has changed drastically since most of us were growing up. My DD and I had "the talk" a few months before she turned 10. Three of her classmates (4th grade) had already started menstruating, and I didn't want her to be caught off guard or to be scared if she started early as well.

 

[thinkerbell]

My daughter is 22 and will be going to the doctor at the end of this month to go on the pill. She is getting married in October. We were very lucky I guess. On the other hand, I went on the pill at the age of 17, AFTER I had her.