I know what you mean Cyrano- my china has silver trim, and I'm worried that the dishwasher would just be too tough on it!
I keep mine in a separate china cabinet also, but I don't like for it to just sit up there for people to look at when they come over. I try to use it whenever I can. I have to be careful with the kids, since kids can be so rough on good china...DH is pretty careful with it, although he has been known, when in a hurry, to do a little bit of damage to the good stuff.
All in all, a gentle cleaner and tender loving care should keep the china in good condition for many years to come - I hope to be able to pass mine on to my DD someday.