Inspired by family trip threads: What are your ground rules?

[Lora]

We try to have some time just for our family - either a few days before or after the family or guests are there. This works out pretty well. We don't mind spending all or most of our time with our guests because we enjoy their company and want to share the experience with them. We always make it clear that they do not have to follow our "plan" - because I usually have a rough one on paper. I also find out what attractions my guest want to do most and those they would like to skip - then we can make the plan fit the needs of more people. (For example - my parents don't like the fast rides, etc - but love certain shows and attractions.)

My parents will make their 3rd trip with us in Oct. They're very easy-going and are just happy to be there with us.

 

[raidermatt]

Most of our trips, including our recent Disney trips, have been with friends.

The thing to ask yourself from the beginning is how important is it to you that you spend time together? In other words, would you be willing to compromise on some itinerary things because you want to spend time with those who came along? There is no right or wrong answer, only what you are looking for from your vacation.

I tend to state things as options for everyone, as opposed to rules. For instance, at some point before the trip, I/we will say something like "We're really looking forward to this trip. Of course, if you guys want to go your own way at some point, that's fine, since we may not all want to do the same thing..."

If you really want to stay together most of the time, you will most likely need to make some compromises on what/when you do things. But hopefully, you are going with people who feel the same way and everyone gives and takes. (Yes, this is possible. Our groups of 5-10 people rarely split up, and everyone has a good time.)

If you have certain things you definitely want to do, regardless of what the others want to do, just let them know what those things are and ask if they think they will be joining you or doing something else.

Things like sleeping arrangements, finances, etc should be worked out long before going, and the major things should be brought up when the trip is first planned. Again, though I mention them in casual conversation, as opposed to setting rules. "We wanted to know if you guys wanted to go to WDW with us in July? We have a one bedroom room through our DVC purchase, so maybe you guys could just pick-up lunches and/or dinners?" Or whatever arrangements you work out.

The plus to travelling with generally the same group multiple times is that we've gotten all of that stuff out of the way. We take the 'stay together and compromise' route, because we enjoy each others company. And we know how we are going to split up any common expenses, and most of all, we stay flexible. Within reason, of course.

Are the people travelling with you going to be sharing your DVC room, or is everyone getting their own rooms?

 

[dianeschlicht]

We rarely go to WDW without guests any more. I usually present it as a specific trip on specific dates and ask if they want to go along. I outline exactly what their financial committment will be. We always tell them there will be no cost for accommodations, but that it would be nice if they treated us to a meal either out or of their preparation, one night of the trip. We also tell them EXACTLY how much admission is so they are not surprised about that. We also offer to buy them discounted admission with our DC membership. No one has ever abused our hospitality. Some have felt they needed to compensate us more than others, but all have been gracious guests. Some of the most gracious were family members.

 

[cswans]

I send info out about tix costs and a few menus so there's no surprises on food costs either. We set the dates and then ask can you make it?

 

[CaptainMidnight]

Great Thread. We are inviting grandparents for the first time and concerned about their obsession with how much everything costs dampening our vacation.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Captain Midnight...The guest we have invited for next year is always concerned about money. I not only gave him a dollar breakdown of what admission and food costs were, but also told him what an average air fare would be and even included his dog sitting expenses in the estimate.

 

[cswans]

Once I read a list of tourist-y things that you could do in a day and what they cost you. I wish I had kept it. Stuff like: you are driving and pull over to visit a ranch of rare red deer. Admission $8 per adult. Takes 35 minutes to enjoy. then on to a famous waterfall. Parking $3/car, gate fee $4 per adult. Drive to see sea lions in a cave. Admission $16/adult. And at the end of the day you have spent around $70 per adult and had 35 minutes here, 45 minutes there, to show for it. It really put the cost of Disney in perspective. I wonder if anyone has had a day like this and could plug in real costs/places. . .

 

[JonHM]

In answer to your question, we have been planning on staying together with our guests, with us in the master of a 2 bedroom and then in the 2nd bedroom. That may change, but I'm pretty sure that we're going to stick with those arrangements.

 

[wdwnut]

hi: i was one of the posters with at least 2 definite no way in he** will they go with us again guests. we've had guests with us on non-dvc wdw vacations as well. if it's only 1 or 2 extras and they haven't been to wdw before, i figure they'll just go along with whatever we plan. if they have been before, i throw my birnbaum's guide book at them and tell them to let us know what they definitely want to do in the parks, what restaurants, etc. that will just get incorporated into the plans. as far as ground rules go, these kids/adults have known me for a while. with the kids, it's "mom rules, teenagers drool!". quite honestly, the 2 i'll never take back were the only ones who ever tested my patience badly. when a group of 15 of my family went in may, 2000, the birnbaum's were given out the christmas prior. i asked for lists of who wanted to do what and where and how much "togetherness" everyone wanted. i kind of based my family's plans on what they wanted to do and incorporated it with one of my brother's family's plans. we did some meals and things together, but went our own ways for much of the trip. you need to talk with the other parties involved prior to the trip to see if there will be any potential differences that need to be worked out ahead of time.

 

[raidermatt]

jon- OK. We used to share accomodations sometimes, and as long as everyone knows up front what the bed and bathroom situation is, and of course the associated cost, it should be fine. This is pretty easy to present by just saying that you wanted to give everyone a heads-up on what the accomodations are, and outlining where everyone will be sleeping, and where the bathrooms are.

Being straightforward and firm, but without the authoritative tone always worked for us.

PS- I'm assuming you are the DVC owner and have invited the others along. If the others will be paying you for the accomodations, you'd want to take into account who is staying where. Example- If you were staying with just one other couple, you would want to ask them for slightly less than half of the cost, since they have the smaller bedroom. If a friend is sleeping in the bathtub, he should probably pay less than everybody else... .

 

[doubletrouble_vb]

So far the only people I will never invite again is a family contingent from Florida who stood me up & then called later to ask what day we were coming over to Tampa...no explanation as to the absence. Given I was paying for passes & accomodations that was a tad annoying.

Otherwise...one thing to remember is that once you are in a group you can't have it ALL your own way. I may or may not ask the guest for money for the accomodations, usually will ask them to kick in for food somewhere along the way (split the groceries or buy some meals...depends on what I feel like). The only problem I've ever had that I have also simply come to accept is the slow starters. Some people just plain start slow...I've been to Disney often enough to accept & explain to the offenders that they are just decreasing their park time with the slow start.

I also just came back from a trip where I was the 'guest'...sort of...I tagged along on someelses trip. I asked them to explain their itinerary and treated it as ground rules, did not invite myself along to any meals I didn't have an invitation to & made a point of keeping my opinion to myself...I had a wonderful trip & an invitation to join them next time.

 

[chainkid]

I have several family members joining me for my April 19-28th vacation. We have three two bedrooms and one studio all of which are on my points. i have invited different groups of family every time i go and have always had a great time. The key to our success is only one rule...this is our vacation and we will do what we want and you will do what you want and if its together fine if not see you at dinner. I usually plan buffet type meals for four nights and then let people split up and enjoy whatever restaurants they wish. BY buffet I mean ...chef mickeys, cape may,
ohanas or bomas. my son and his friends spend the mornings in bed the afternoons in the pool or at the parks ..have dinner with family then head to pleasureisland until closing.

I play tour guide for newbies because i'm a disney nut and just be surrounded by the magic and family is my treat.Hubby does unconventional stuff like Richard petty driving experience.
Some family head over to universal which is sacreligious to me but we will sometimes give them alift over and they take mears back. I rent 15 passngervans which we use to go resort hopping but let everyone use disney transportation on their own.

We always stay at the BWV because the location is fabulous for e
veryone.

I would never bring someone i couldn't stand evenif they are family and always provide separatevillas for safety in case of too much togetherness. Joan