Inspired by all the siblings threads lately..

[Disneyland1084]

Do you think a brother and sister are more likely to have a better relationship if the sister is older? It's just that the majority of families I knew growing up where the brothers were older, just did NOT get along with their younger sisters. My step-brother does NOT get along with his younger sister, it's sad. I know this isn't the case in every family. Some older sisters probably hate their brothers, etc....My great uncle was crazy about my grandmother who was five years younger than him. I'm just curious to hear other sides.

 

[txSleepingBeauty]

I think maybe. I have 3 older brothers and to be honest sometimes I'm really jeals of the bond they have with each other. I know my brothers love me, but we just don't have the same relationship. I great along great with them individually, but put us all together and we fight like cats and dogs.

I will admit to having much better relationships with them now then when we were kids. My youngest older brother is only 13 mos older than me and we hated each other as kids. There's never been anyone else in my life who can get a reaction out of me like Scott can. but as adults we've become friends....

 

[Hot Cross Buns]

I always thought it was just the opposite. If the brother is the oldest, they will have a better relationship because he will feel more protective of the sister. But that's just my theory.

 

[Missy1961]

I have 2 brothers: one is 4 yrs older than me, one is 2 yrs younger. I have a wonderful relationship with my older brother, always have. My younger brother & I were close when we were kids, through college. We aren't close anymore, mostly because he doesn't seem to want to be anymore.

 

[Alice28]

I don't know; my two boys treat their little sister like she's a princess. I hope it lasts! They are good to each other and I love that!

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

I have a very close relationship with my brothers. I am the oldest.

I really believe it's just how each family is.

 

[Kimmie5870]

I have 4 older brothers,The oldest is 46 and the youngest would have been 40. I'm 36 and have always been close to my brothers.

The boys were always protective of me but things changed when my mom passed away (I was 10) then 5 months later my youngest brother was killed in a dune buggy accident. After all that my brothers became more like my parents,only more protective I think.

It's nice in alot of ways but got to be a real pain in the butt when i was dating DH. Poor DH,not only did he have to deal with my father but also my 3 difficult brothers.

 

[Keli]

I'm really close to two of my three brothers and all of my sisters (one brother has really messed his life up and I don't think he's close to any of us). I'm older than all three brothers (and all of the sisters except my twin, lol).

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I think it depends on the family, and how the kids are raised, plus their personalities.

I'm older than my brother and we have never really got along. My ex is older than his sister, and they never really got along.

My son is older than my daughter by 14 months, and they get along great. I was really careful about reinforcing when they supported each other (even when the two of them ganged up on me), and really discouraged them from not getting along. They are 18 & 17 now, and get along great.

 

[*JoGo*]

I'm the older sister. My brother is 4yrs younger than me. We didn't get along too well when we were kids... Our dad died when I was 10, brother was 6, and I decided I had to protect my brother and my mom (how? I don't know, I just felt I had to make up for our dad being gone), so I was extremely bossy and more of a little-mother. Then I moved out when he was 13 and only saw him at holidays... June 05 right after he graduated, he went to Boot, I read everything I could about the USMC/boot and became obsessed with writing to him, I didn't want him to EVER have a mail call and not get mail. Since then, every time he's home on leave, we spend a day or atleast a few hrs depending on how long he's home, just the two of us. This past summer, we talked nearly every day on the phone.. sometimes for hrs. And now that he's deployed, I'm once again obsessed w/ sending him letters and pkgs. We can talk to each other about anything and everything. Before, I think the age diff. was hard - he was in high school while I'm raising a family... Now it's still very different, but he's an adult and we have more in common. He knows if he ever needs anything, he can call me. There have been several times he's had questions about things he needed to do (like buying a car in CA and getting OH plates) and he calls me instead of our mom. He made me his POA, maybe b/c I'm still bossy? lol He knows he never has to worry about me, especially when it comes to all the USMC stuff, that I'll figure it out. Before he was deployed, his CO gave them an address and I figured out the address was off by 1 number before my brother was told about the mistake, lol.

Sorry, get me started talking about my brother and I just can't stop. I adore my little brother. He is my hero.

So.. to answer your question, I think the age difference/lifestyle difference has more of an impact on sibling relationships than different genders/birth order.

 

[The Mayor]

I'm the youngets of 5, three girls and two boys...one of my sisters is the oldest and my brother is next born...they are very close as are all of us...BTW. I'm now 52 and my siblings are in their 60's and late 50's.

 

[Stacerita]

My brother is younger than I by 25 months. And I do constantly remind him that those 25 months were the best of my life. But we have a great relationship. We are very close, consider each other friends and enjoy hanging out with one another.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think siblings will get along as well as parents dictate that they do as they are growing up, and I don't believe that the genders have too much to do with it.

When my brother & I were growing up (he was older by 5 years)my parents made it very clear that they expected us to treat each other with respect, so we did. That isn't to say that we didn't have our tiffs, but for the most part, we got along (and still do) just fine.

 

[KelNottAt]

I only have a sister, so I can't answer based on personal experience. But, based on what I see between my own kids, I think it's entirely possible to have a great relationship when the brother is older.

My kids have a wonderful relationship. I pray it lasts. If you'd like a little peek at it, feel free to read the letter below. DD wrote it last week for extra credit in school (7th grade). The assignment was to write a thank-you letter, but you have to be grateful for something that is not a material thing.

Dear Doug,
Hey Doug, I just wanted you to know how grateful I am for having you as a brother. You are always there for me to give me courage and strength. You keep me from being too sad and homesick when we go away from home by ourselves. You don’t want me to get hurt or stay hurt for too long. I just want to thank you for that. I hope that you’ll be my big brother for years to come.

You are always there for me and I really appreciate that. I really, really am glad for it and I don’t want you to stop being my big brother. I don’t know how only children can live with out someone to talk to and love, that isn’t their parents. But because I’m not an only child, I’m glad that I have you as my Big Brother. I know that if all the older brothers in the world were like you, then everyone that has an older brother will know what it is like to have someone that they can depend and have fun with. I feel like the luckiest sister in the world to have a brother like you.

Even though sometimes you are mean to me, I know that you love me. I know because of all of the little things you do for me. Like comfort me at a sleep away camp, or when you get me the cutest stuffed elephant for Christmas (that I sleep with every night, might I add). Also when you let me choose the place that we go for dinner even though you really want to go someplace else. Also, when you see me fall off my scooter you are the first to come and see if I am O.K. Though sometimes you like to be the big tough 9th grader, but I know that you are my big brother inside. You are the best big brother in the whole wide world Doug and I love you.

Your sister, Betsy

 

[Crankyshank]

My relationship with my brother (5yrs younger) is almost non existent. I have a much better relationship with my younger sister.

 

[JunieJay]

I'm smack dab in the middle with 3 older brothers and 4 younger brothers (and 1 younger sister). We all get along well, but I'm sort of the glue that holds the family together, especially since my mother died. I don't know if that is because I'm the middle child or just a natural born organizer, but its been that way for a long time.

 

[Missy1961]

In my earlier post I forgot to mention my sisters. I have 3 sisters, all younger than me--one 4 yrs younger, one 5 yrs younger, one 9 yrs younger. I have always gotten along very well with the 4 yr younger sister, and the 9 yr younger one was my 'pet' when she was younger. I had a differcult relationship with the other sister when we were kids. But as we've gotten older, our relationship has gotten better & better & now we're very close. We can talk on the phone for hours, I visit her & her family all the time, and we always have a blast together. And so now I am very close to all my sisters. The 4 of us organize almost every family get together now, which is important since my mom died in 2001.

 

[Sandy V.]

I think siblings will get along as well as parents dictate that they do as they are growing up, and I don't believe that the genders have too much to do with it.

I agree with this. We have tried (as parents) to emphasize to our 18 year old DD and 16 year old DS that no two other people will share the same life experiences that they will, i.e. Christmases, vacations, Mom and Dad's weird habits that drive them crazy, pets, dinner table talk, going to each other's sporting events, etc.

Of course, being so close in age, we've had our "moments" around here where they fought viciously and bitterly. I used to yell at them, "Someday your father and I will be dead, and you will ONLY have each other!" They'd look at me like I had two heads.

Actually, it got better when DD went to college. DS really misses his sister, I think much to his surprise. And she misses him too. DD came home this weekend, and they ditched us parents so the two of them could go have coffee together. That made DH and me feel WONDERFUL about their relationship. Hopefully it continues along the same vein.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I am the oldest, then my Sister, and our brother is the youngest. I get along with my Brother, however, we are not close. He is close to my sister. My Sister and I fought all the time growing up. We are really close now.

DH is the oldest, then his Brother, then a sister. There is an 11 year age difference between DH and his Sister, but they are close.

The difference between our families is the way we were raised. Frankly, I think my parents are lucky that my siblings and I get along period. They didn't do much to foster those relationships. Dh's siblings, on the other hand, we raised to take care of each other and look out for each other and are very close because of it.

 

[Amlee]

I really think it has to do with the person. I have 5 older brothers and 1 younger brother. I would have to say I'm closer to one of my older brothers than I am my younger brother(14 months younger). My younger brother has always been and will always be jealous of me. He never understood why I didn't never had a curfew and let to do things he wasn't. It could have been that I earned our parents trust and respect, while he threw it all out the door.

Now that we are both in our 30s it's easier to not have anything to do with him, than to put up with his bad attitude and snappy comments toward me.