Inexpensive "cocktail" dress and wedding question

[Swan4Me]

thanks guys,
I do have a classic "little black" dress. Unfortunately that would be one of the 2 colors she requesting we don't wear. the other is white. She having a 11:00am service with a 12:30 brunch and wants light or bright colors.

I hate themed weddings.

I dont think a "Cocktail dress" is appropriate for am?

I'd just wear a "church dress" and smaile

 

[momofrrr]

I would try Macy's. They always have stuff on clearance.

 

[crisi]

I wouldn't follow suit, if you asked me. If I am not in the wedding party, the closest I will come to conforming is on formality. (informal, semiformal, or formal) And then I RSVP accordingly.


As far as black--I was in a black and white themed wedding. My bridesmaid gown was black. I am going to a red and black themed wedding next weekend. I imagine the dresses will have some black in them. My step-mother scoffs. But I have never been to a funeral in an evening gown, so I tend to not listen to her.

There is a world of difference however in the bride choosing black bridesmaid dresses for her bridesmaids - and wearing a black dress as a bridesmaid to fulfill the brides request, and a wearing a black dress when the bride has requested guests not wear black or white - which is old school etiquette.

 

[msp2mco]

I don't think I would buy something new if I had something remotely appropriate in my closet--a dress I would wear to church or a skirt and blouse that I could dress up with jewelry or scarf, etc. Unless you are in the wedding party, I think dictating what guests wear (color, style) seems in bad taste, especially when you have probably attended her two other weddings.

 

[debbiemomto4]

When I went hunting for a dress for a wedding JC Penney was having awesome sales and cute dresses. Unfortunately nothing my size. Average price was $35. Cute , floral and colors.
I'm in NY and for evening weddings you wear black. Too much colors and New Yorkers bring out their sunglasses.

Found a cute black dress at Macys.

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

There is a world of difference however in the bride choosing black bridesmaid dresses for her bridesmaids - and wearing a black dress as a bridesmaid to fulfill the brides request, and a wearing a black dress when the bride has requested guests not wear black or white - which is old school etiquette.

I must have missed the etiquette that says it's okay for a bride to dictate what her guests wear. No wonder weddings are so out of control these days!

 

[EMom]

I must have missed the etiquette that says it's okay for a bride to dictate what her guests wear. No wonder weddings are so out of control these days!

Not to put too fine a point on it, but she's on her 3rd marriage and is still having formal weddings. I don't know that she's necessarily a stickler for tradition and etiquette.

 

[robinb]

I was brought up that only the bride wears white (and that's all she wears unless she'd been married before) and no one wears black. I realize times have changed, but I still would never wear black or white to a wedding.

I wouldn't either. Then again, I'm the same age of the bride. OTOH, I didn't give a rip what people (including my wedding party) wore to my wedding. If she has such rules for the THIRD wedding, I wonder what her first two were like .

Good luck OP! I think finding a lighter colored dress might be difficult because it's fall and the colors are darker.

 

[pixiewings71]

I was brought up that only the bride wears white (and that's all she wears unless she'd been married before) and no one wears black. I realize times have changed, but I still would never wear black or white to a wedding.

Me too.....I would never wear black or white to a wedding. I thought it was just me....lol

I wouldn't either. Then again, I'm the same age of the bride. OTOH, I didn't give a rip what people (including my wedding party) wore to my wedding. If she has such rules for the THIRD wedding, I wonder what her first two were like .

Good luck OP! I think finding a lighter colored dress might be difficult because it's fall and the colors are darker.

True colors are darker but now might be the perfect time to find a really cute dress on clearance.

Good luck OP, I found a really cute dress for my DD23s wedding in August, it was a very pretty blue for about $35 at Victoria's Secret.

 

[badblackpug]

You're in south Jersey... try Burlington Coat Factory. BCF has a huge dress section.

You may also want to try Franklin Mills Mall in northeast Philly (over the Ben Franklin bridge take 95 North to Woodhaven road) It's an outlet mall.

www.franklinmills.com

 

[crisi]

I must have missed the etiquette that says it's okay for a bride to dictate what her guests wear. No wonder weddings are so out of control these days!

Of course the bride dictates what guests wear! Etiquette also dictates. Picking a big church wedding means your guests will dress one way, getting married in a park and having an informal BBQ after and they'll dress a different way. Having your reception at the Waldorf and you'll get evening gowns. Have it in your parents backyard and you'll get sundresses. As someone pointed out, morning dress is different than evening dress. You don't wear a strapless dress to a Catholic ceremony and cover your head if you go to a Jewish one (I'd think that the strapless thing would hold for most churchs).

The etiquette about not wearing black to a wedding was around for a long time, and is still adhered to by some in an older generation. Which the bride belongs to.

This isn't saying "everyone needs to wear pink" - this is simply going back to rules that were in place for a long time "no black or white on female guests" (prints that feature black or white are fine).

(But yeah, cocktail dresses at 11am and a big third wedding are questionable by the bride to start with - but that doesn't mean her guests need to be disrespectful just because she is 50 and still wants to play bride).

 

[DisneyMomma81]

No black at a wedding...??? My cousin got married a couple years ago - her sisters *2* were her bridesmaids *this* was the dress she chose for them. I liked it so much I bought one myself - wore it to church yesterday. I didn't pay the sale price though

 

[punkin]

Of course the bride dictates what guests wear! Etiquette also dictates. Picking a big church wedding means your guests will dress one way, getting married in a park and having an informal BBQ after and they'll dress a different way. Having your reception at the Waldorf and you'll get evening gowns. Have it in your parents backyard and you'll get sundresses. As someone pointed out, morning dress is different than evening dress. You don't wear a strapless dress to a Catholic ceremony and cover your head if you go to a Jewish one (I'd think that the strapless thing would hold for most churchs).

The etiquette about not wearing black to a wedding was around for a long time, and is still adhered to by some in an older generation. Which the bride belongs to.

This isn't saying "everyone needs to wear pink" - this is simply going back to rules that were in place for a long time "no black or white on female guests" (prints that feature black or white are fine).

(But yeah, cocktail dresses at 11am and a big third wedding are questionable by the bride to start with - but that doesn't mean her guests need to be disrespectful just because she is 50 and still wants to play bride).

Maybe she meant just "cocktail length dress?"

I understand the impulse to have a big wedding, even at 50, but you are right: traditionally 3rd weddings should be understated affairs, but that never meant they have to be small. I went to a 2nd wedding (of the bride) but because it was the groom's first, the MIL insisted on a "real" wedding so the bride, in a big white poofy wedding dress, has pictures surrounded by her three children (one of whom was the same age the bride was at her first wedding). It was a bit strange. Had she worn a nice off-white evening suit or dress her MIL could have had as big a party as she liked and no one would have raised an eyebrow.

 

[Danibelle]

Not to put too fine a point on it, but she's on her 3rd marriage and is still having formal weddings. I don't know that she's necessarily a stickler for tradition and etiquette.

Exactly!

 

[mjkacmom]

I wouldn't go as far as to think anyone going to a wedding in black was being purposefully offensive now a days, but I'll admit that I still raise my eyebrow while admitting I'm horribly old fashioned.
.

You do have to keep in mind that this is a NJ wedding (albiet South Jersey). Black is the most popular color women wear to weddings. It would be stranger to see a woman show up in a blouse and skirt. Weddings tend to be dressier, even early afternoon receptions.

 

[lisalis]

Do you have a colored sheath dress you could wear with a scarf or dress up with accessories? It seems like it would be more appropriate for a day wedding anyway.

I laugh about the black because my sister just got married for the 3rd time at a park. The week before, she asked me to stand up with her. She didn't mention any dress preference. As I was getting ready to go, I was musing over 3 different dresses, one of them being black. I told my husband I felt funny wearing black to a wedding and chose a print sundress instead. When we got to the wedding, the fiance's daughters who were also standing up at the wedding were all wearing black dresses! I just laughed and said, "I guess I missed the black memo."

 

[crisi]

You do have to keep in mind that this is a NJ wedding (albiet South Jersey). Black is the most popular color women wear to weddings. It would be stranger to see a woman show up in a blouse and skirt. Weddings tend to be dressier, even early afternoon receptions.

Its that way even in Fargo, North Dakota in these hedonistic times . My sister just got married in North Dakota and my eyebrow was creeping into my hairline. Not only lots of black, but animal prints?! Cause apparently, dressing like you are spending the weekend in Vegas is appropriate church wear.

That doesn't change what I've been saying though - which is that the old etiquette, regardless of what they do in South Jersey now, is not to wear black, and an older bride might be stuck with her brain in the old etiquette..

 

[TnTWalter]

I scored a summer dress for a wedding a couple weeks ago for $20. Originally $90.

I have 2 more weddings coming up and I'm hoping to score another clearance dress in a couple weeks....I'm eyeing onen currently $109. Please go on sale.....


Trish

 

[Bren's Mom]

I would accommodate her request by wearing the current LBD and using bright accessories like jewelry, shoes, belt, or sweater (whatever goes with the dress style).

This is what I would do. It's incredibly rude of the (3rd time!) bride to be so rude and dictate what colors her guests must wear...on short notice...very bridezillaish!

 

[eliza61]

Not to put too fine a point on it, but she's on her 3rd marriage and is still having formal weddings. I don't know that she's necessarily a stickler for tradition and etiquette.

I'm coming to the conclusion they are the worst!!! Of course my suggestion of heading down to Atlantic City and having a city hall wedding didn't go over real big.

You're in south Jersey... try Burlington Coat Factory. BCF has a huge dress section.

You may also want to try Franklin Mills Mall in northeast Philly (over the Ben Franklin bridge take 95 North to Woodhaven road) It's an outlet mall.

www.franklinmills.com

Thanks, I forgot all about Franklin Mills mall, haven't been there in a while.

The etiquette about not wearing black to a wedding was around for a long time, and is still adhered to by some in an older generation. Which the bride belongs to.

This isn't saying "everyone needs to wear pink" - this is simply going back to rules that were in place for a long time "no black or white on female guests" (prints that feature black or white are fine).

(But yeah, cocktail dresses at 11am and a big third wedding are questionable by the bride to start with - but that doesn't mean her guests need to be disrespectful just because she is 50 and still wants to play bride).

Crisi right on this one. The Brides 50 and we definitely grew up with the "never wear black to a wedding". It was considered bad luck because that's what you wore to funerals. Heck, we had one cousin that sent all her limosenes back because they sent her black ones instead of white.

Unfortunately I'm ready to shoot her with a tranquilizer dart. I darn near fell out when she asked me to go gown shopping with her.
Doesn't the 3rd time mean you forgo a gown and church?

I know, I know, I'm just being crabby....