I'm Worried Update: He Called And Apologized

[honeywolf7]

It's probably nothing, but I'm worried about TJ. He had to work last night and he said he'd call as soon as he got to the job site....well, he never did call (and he's not the type to say he'll call and not do so.) I know that they may have sent him out on the road to work accidents, etc. rather than keeping him at the jail where he usually works (because of the weather) but I'm worried about him. Sorry...this was just a little vent.

 

[Pop Daddy]

he is alright, just suffering from being a man (we forget to call)

 

[zakatak]

I would call him. Quickly to make sure he is ok. With this weather, you just never know!

 

[Boo'sMom]

He's fine, don't worry. If something were wrong, you'd hear about it.
Sometime they just get busy and can't find time for a call.

 

[Lynn CC]

{HUGS}
Let us know when you speak to him!

 

[honeywolf7]

Okay, I checked out the local TV station's website (figuring that if a sheriff's deputy had been hurt or anything, there'd be news) and there was a state police officer hurt last night, but other than that there were hundreds of other accidents....That makes me feel a little better (although I feel bad for anyone hurt in an accident or even anyone in an accident last night) because it means he probably was busy. I wouldn't be surprised if they end up making him work overtime.

 

[MAGICinMYHEART]

Well I heard this morning that North Carolina had to call out the National Guard because they had over 2,000 auto accidents. So they would also need assistance in Virginia..he is out helping others...maybe saving someone.

 

[honeywolf7]

Probably so and I'm proud of him, but I was also worried. Even though I shouldn't this soon, I'm starting to have some pretty strong feelings for him because he's such a good guy and so patient and sweet. I'm not going to tell him that, though.
Update: He just called and apologized for not calling last night and he's going to call me when he gets to his house (for obvious reasons, he doesn't want to be on the cell phone when he's driving in this stuff.)

 

[MeanLaureen]

Becky - what county does he work for? I haven't seen any sheriffs working roads around Richmond lately. I thought they were mainly clerical type officers around here.

 

[honeywolf7]

He's a Chesterfield deputy...I just saw several deputy's cars yesterday when I was going home from the church I go to in Chesterfield and he has a take-home car. It's just that he normally works at the jail. His father on the other hand, who's also a Chesterfield sheriff's deputy, is on the road full-time. As far as Richmond city, I barely ever see sheriff's department cars on the road.

 

[my3kids]

I'm sorry I guess I don't understand the problem. When my husband is at work, he's busy. I have no idea exactly what he is doing at any given time, nor would I expect to. Relax! I can't imagine him calling me on work time to tell me he going here or going there. Nor would I ever think to call him and tell him I was going here or there as long as it was in the normal couse of daily activity. I just kind of figured we were adults and if we had a problem and needed the other, we'd call, but for the most part he's busy at work and I'm busy at home.

 

[honeywolf7]

I don't expect him to call me every night from work (although he usually does)....I wanted to make sure he got there safely because of the snow. He called when he got home to let me know he got there safely as well and I didn't even ask him to do that.

 

[Serena]

Becki, I understand you being worried, but you need to get over that, especially in his line of work.

What my h told me a loooong time ago, is for me not to worry until I have a reason to worry. Like the police or a hospital calls and tells me something's happened. Until then, just trust that he's fine.
It was hard, but it did help a lot.

 

[Blondie]

Originally posted by Serena
Becki, I understand you being worried, but you need to get over that, especially in his line of work.

I agree. You are going to have to let go a little bit. You are going to give yourself an ulcer! I know you care about him, but you are going to have to trust that he is okay.

 

[honeywolf7]

Honestly, I probably wouldn't have worried so much if he hadn't told me he'd call me as soon as he got to work. I would have been okay with not hearing from him last night, but since he said he'd call it worried me.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Honeywolf, if you are going to date someone in law enforcement you can't sit around and worry about them, even when they do say they are going to call.

First, they do not work normal hours. Even if their shift is set to end at a certain time, they can be held over due to workload, plus if they are processing an arrestee they can't just stop in the middle of it. Did you know a DUI arrest takes a couple hours to process?

Second, sometimes after a stressful shift the last thing they want to do is to TALK to someone. They need time to destress. I know when DH comes home to leave him alone for some time so he can wind down.

Finally, you have just started dating this person. Slow down.

 

[Stimpy]

Glad to hear that he's alright!

I have to agree with some of the other posters, you have to relax a little. I know it's hard, especially in a new relationship. I'm not in any way "bashing" you or anything, but sometimes this is the nature of the business. I think you are a very nice and caring person!

There are nights my DH gets to work and barely has time to change into his uniform before being sent on an emergency call. He's been called into work many times for emergencies. Sometimes they just don't get a chance to call, it happens and it's something you should get used to.

Trust me, I have had many opportunities to worry! ( 9/11 and the LIRR massacre come immeditately to mind) You just have to have faith that everything will be fine. It gets better with time!

 

[honeywolf7]

But, he was the one who did call me as soon as his shift ended and then again to let me know he was home as soon as he got home. If he didn't want to talk to me, he didn't have to do those things. It's not as if I pressured him into talking to me. The only thing I did was leave a message on his cell phone letting him know I was concerned (and I didn't do it until 6 this morning when he was supposed to have called me at midnight.) I never even asked him to call me when he got home, but he volunteered.
Also, he's the one who definitely wants to get married again and wants to have more children. The very first question he asked me when we met was whether I want more kids. So, it's not really me who's rushing things.
As far as worrying, I don't worry about him when he's at work anymore but I was worried because of the weather just like I'd be worried about anyone I was dating who had to drive in this stuff (especially if he was originally from Florida, which TJ is.)
I'm also not the only worrier in the relationship. I left a message on his cell phone on Saturday letting him know I was going to the ER and left him one later that I was okay. My phone still rang at 1 on Sunday morning because he wanted to make sure I was ok.

 

[mickeyfan1]

Becki, he sounds like a mojor contol freak in the making. Most men don't ask about having kids the very first time they meet someone. Most men don't call daily to check on you the first week or two of knowing someone. If you were me, you would tell him to back off. Fast. Maybe that's why his previous wife left and went almost as far away as she could. You really need to concentrate on you and your kids. Forget about meeting, dating, marrying (no matter whos idea it is) men. our kids should be your first pirority, your schooling (provided it will get you a better way to support your kids) should be second. After that, men should still be way down on the list. If this guy is so sweet and caring, then he will understand if you tell him to slow way down. I surely wouldn't want to jump into any realtionship so soon after a divorce, then breaking up with "The love of my life forever". But it seems like you do, all I can really say is good luck.

 

[honeywolf7]

We've known each other a lot longer than two weeks (granted we started as friends and we only met in person in December, but we have known each other for five months now.) My kids are by far my top priority (which is why he hasn't met them yet), but there's nothing wrong with a single mother dating. It's not as if I've said I love him or I'm going to marry him or anything.