I'm taking a vote...

[TiggerificSox]

... and I'm sure I'll take 90 more votes before this is all done!!

For my wedding party... I am thinking about having my soon-to-be brother-in-law (April 2010)... he has been with my sister for 5 years.... but they live in North Carolina and we only see them every other month. I don't feel super close to him, BUT I am having my sister-in-law in the wedding.... she's been married to my brother for 4 years and around for about 4 years before that! Should I include him as a nice gesture? As of now we have 6 girls and 5 guys... so I add a 6th guy, or drop a girl (which I was pondering anyways??). DF keeps saying "do whatever you want"... grr it's getting annoying because I'm so indecisive!!!

 

[cutedisneygirly]

You have to ask yourself if you really want him in the wedding, helping out or not. Your bridal party does not have to be balanced. It is perfectly fine to have 6 girls and 5 guys. My friend's wedding had 2 best men, and I didn't really notice the 1 person difference. At my wedding, my fiance's father is his best man and his former partner from work will also be up there with him, so at the reception my 2 cousins will walk in with the 1 person on his side since his father will walk in with his mother.

So, just think if it is important for him to be up there with you two. If you are doing it just as a nice gesture, I would say no.

 

[trudy88]

I generally subscribe to the "do want you want" philosophy when it comes to weddings. It's your and your fiance's wedding, and it should be meaningful to you. However, a wedding is one day, and in-laws are around for the rest of your life. A wedding becomes a marriage; and families are blended. Just something to think about.
I hope your wedding is awesome!

 

[tiggersam00]

I am having DF's sister and brother in the wedding, but am not asking DF's sister-in-law. I thought about asking her, but in the end decided to keep it smaller. It's a tough choice though, but do what YOU want, it's YOUR day, and DO NOT APOLOGIZE for any of your choices, life is too short Let us know how it all works out. Good Luck!

 

[DISNEYMAGIC2005]

Our bridal party is 3 girls and 4 guys. Everyone said that I had so many girl friends just to pick another. But I don't really want to so that is just how it is going to be! And then I decided that when the guys are walking back my MOH(sister) will walk back with the 2 best men (DF's brothers.) I say do what you want, It's your day! and I agree with tiggersam DON'T APOLOGIZE! When you apologize it's like you did something wrong but it's your choice! Good Luck!

 

[TiggerificSox]

Right now I don't see it as an essential thing to do.... BUT.... I wonder if in 5 to 10 yrs I'll be like what a jerk I was for the exclusion......

 

[Disney845]

Right now I don't see it as an essential thing to do.... BUT.... I wonder if in 5 to 10 yrs I'll be like what a jerk I was for the exclusion......

I think we women are a lot more inclined to read more into things and feel slighted in regards to family/weddings/etc. then men might.

Of course I do not know your soon-to-be brother-in-law at all (so he might be overly sensitive to these things), but my first thought would be...do you think he will even notice or care that he wasn't asked to stand up in the wedding party?

Or more importantly...perhaps he would prefer not to (and would only agree, thinking you wanted him and not want to hurt your feelings). Being members of a wedding party can be a large responsibility for people (time and financial commitment).

I see nothing wrong with an uneven wedding party. My SO has 3 brothers (2 are currently married) and I am an only child. I wouldn't ask his brother's wives to join the bridal party just to even it out. I like them, but am not close enough to them to feel they need to stand up with me (those spots are reserved for those closest to me, imo).