I'm stunned - I should have listened UPDATED. Again - could use some prayers!

[Starr W.]

Thanks for the adoption offer - I will keep that in mind for the future (dh would be especially happy since it looks like you love fishing.

My dear mom obviously "worked" on my dad last night. I got a very sheepish apology this morning & they ARE planning on going. According to my mom, this has as much to do with my dad not wanting to leave their little dog as my grandparents. My dad is VERY attached to his furbaby!

I spoke with my grandmother - she is still fine with us not being there on Christmas Day. Their center is having a party on the 18th & we will go down for that - it made her day to know we were coming. She loves it when we come to their "events" - I think there is a little competition among the oldsters there to show off the families.

So, for now anyway, crisis averted. WDW here we come!

Glad your mom "worked" your dad over. If I had been her remember your story, I would have been ready to punt him down the street.

Have fun.

Like Dumbo71, says we will rent a 2br for our family of 4 and if someone wants to come fine and if they bail(like this year) no skin off my nose.

 

[rascalmom]

Gosh - I hate to resurrect this thread, but there has been a very upsetting turn of events today.

Grandmother went in for a needle biopsy & they found she has breast cancer. Don't have a lot of info yet - just got the call 10 minutes ago. They want to do a mastectomy on Jan. 2. Pretty serious surgery for 90 year old.

None of us may be going at this point. Please keep my grandma in your prayers.

 

[CarolMN]

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. Will keep you all in my prayers.

 

[castleri]

So sorry to hear you latest news- will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. I would add that I think a second opinion might be needed in the case of a 90 yo and this type of major surgery. Maybe there is something less radical. The other thing is what does she say about the family going or not for this trip? Her feelings would have a lot to do with what I ultimately decided. Would you be back before the surgery? I was not in favor of my 95 yo Aunt having surgery but she surprised us all and actually did better than many people a whole lot younger so hopefully your grandmother will do well and have many years ahead to enjoy family and friends.

 

[CarolA]

I agree, get a second opinion.

This is going to sound horrible and I don't mean it to, but.... the medical system in America could easily kill Grandmother while trying to cure her of cancer! My Grandfather got cancer at 86. He drilled the MDs. They had all kinds of great plans.... the truth, those great treatment plans would buy us a year and he would be miserable with radiation, surgery etc. for the entire time. This was in July. He chose to only have treatment to make him comfortable and died in his sleep in December. The extra six months would not have been worth it to him.

My stepmother in her mid-60's died of complications from cancer treatments. The cancer was gone, but the treatment destroyed her nervous system......(And just prior to her death they were trying to convince her that a bone marrow transfusion was the ONLY way to prevent the cancer from returning!)

Doctors will not give you the "no treatment" route, but at 90 you have to consider the quality of life. Chances of horrible things like a major stroke occuring go up dramatically when you put a 90 year old under anesthesia.

Good luck and you will be in my prayers.

 

[rascalmom]

We were told that the doctor felt a lumpectomy followed by radiation would be harder on her than the surgery. I am going to call and talk to her a little more tonight - when I spoke briefly with my grandfather earlier, he was saying we should go.

I agree with the quality of life concerns, but she told my dad that she did not want to suffer with the pain of cancer. She probably remembers someone who did & does not want to go through that. She has several surgeries over the years & that did not seem to be a big concern to her.

 

[2giddy4wdw]

My prayers are with you and your family. I hope that everything works out for you and your family. If you do go...have a great time!! Merry Christmas early!!!

 

[Starr W.]

It's a tough decision, my mom was 76 when her cancer returned(to the liver) took the hospice route. She had a small chance of survival and she had seen what chemo had done to the "quality of life" of one of her SIL's. My sister was so mad she could have spit, to put it nicely. My feelings were it's her decision and I will go along with her wishes. My mom enjoyed her time at hospice made a lot of friends, mostly with other patients' relatives. She was made comfortable and was able to enjoy her grandsons a little longer.

I'll keep you in my prayers, how's your grandfather doing?

 

[eyeheartgoofy]

I'm sorry to hear that all this is happening to your Grandmother and your family right now. Thoughts are with you.

 

[rascalmom]

Thanks all for your good thoughts & advice. After talking more to the family tonight, we are going to go on our trip.

Grandma feels just fine right now. She has agreed to delay the surgery a few days so that we can all be back, settled & ready to tackle this with her. Her surgeon was going to be leaving the day after the original date, waiting until he returns will keep him involved with her aftercare. We were all more comfortable with that.

Grandpa is fine - he's a trooper. The tough thing is going to be his recent loss of his driver's license. They live in a very small town & the hospital is about 15 miles away. My family & my dad are about 2 hours away. The slight delay in the surgery will put my kids back in school & make it a little easier for me to go help shuttle them around.

Grandma refused to get a second opinion. She likes her doctor & won't hear of seeing anyone else. My dh is glad to know where my stubborn streak comes from.

Thanks again for your thoughts & prayers. We'll need them again for her surgery on the 8th.

 

[It's A Happy Day]

I agree, get a second opinion.

This is going to sound horrible and I don't mean it to, but.... the medical system in America could easily kill Grandmother while trying to cure her of cancer! My Grandfather got cancer at 86. He drilled the MDs. They had all kinds of great plans.... the truth, those great treatment plans would buy us a year and he would be miserable with radiation, surgery etc. for the entire time. This was in July. He chose to only have treatment to make him comfortable and died in his sleep in December. The extra six months would not have been worth it to him.

My stepmother in her mid-60's died of complications from cancer treatments. The cancer was gone, but the treatment destroyed her nervous system......(And just prior to her death they were trying to convince her that a bone marrow transfusion was the ONLY way to prevent the cancer from returning!)

Doctors will not give you the "no treatment" route, but at 90 you have to consider the quality of life. Chances of horrible things like a major stroke occuring go up dramatically when you put a 90 year old under anesthesia.

Good luck and you will be in my prayers.

First Now with that being said I agree with the above. I read how DGF/DGM does not want a 2nd opinion and wants to go with DR#1 and that is okay but someone may want to bring up and make sure exactly what is to be done...just in case. Knock on wood and prayers everything will go great but at what point do life saving measures stop, etc. life support issues, etc. Make sure that HER wishes are followed!!!

 

[kathleena]

My 83 yo DMIL just had a lumpectomy and two lymph nodes removed. Ended up that they are not doing any radiation or chemo as they got it early and there had been no spreading at all.

It's too bad your DGM won't go see someone else to see if lumpectomy is an option.

Prayers to all of your family.

 

[gtrist4life]

Thoughts and prayers to you for your GM and for your trip.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Thoughts and prayers to you.

Glad that you can be home with her when it is time for her surgery.

 

[fishermouse]

Gosh - I hate to resurrect this thread, but there has been a very upsetting turn of events today.

Grandmother went in for a needle biopsy & they found she has breast cancer. Don't have a lot of info yet - just got the call 10 minutes ago. They want to do a mastectomy on Jan. 2. Pretty serious surgery for 90 year old.

None of us may be going at this point. Please keep my grandma in your prayers.

I'd get a second opinion as to how fast this is progressing, work on Linear accelarators, and see treatment first hand. At 90 the lump may take 10 years to get to a point that it's "life threatening" for a 60 year old no question get it treated, for a 90 year old IMO enjoy whats left.
Good luck and God Bless!

 

[lsutiggeratwk]

My thoughts and prayers are also with you and your family.

My 85 year old mother died of breast cancer in June 2006. In hind sight I don't know that I would have put her thru the chemo/rad/treatment. But it was what she and her dr thought best and my siblings and I were willing to support her in her decisons.

I do agree with CarolA and fishermouse. Get as much info as you can.
My dr told me yesterday that cancer in an older person grows much slower than in someone younger.

Take care and enjoy your trip to WDW. Try and relax and enjoy all the Christmas offerings.

 

[sk8belle]

If it gives you some hope, my grandmother survived not only radiation treatment, but also surgery for cervical cancer at the ripe old age of 90. Go enjoy your trip and try to relax. You'll have some very busy, stressful days ahead of you when you get back. Hang in there.

 

[Mokat76]

Rascalmom, I hope all turns out well w/ your grandmother. Just so you know it can work out OK, my now 97-year-old aunt (b-day today!) had a mastectomy, radiation and chemo just over 5 years ago and came through with flying colors. Some of our elders are tougher than you think. I kid my aunt that her warranty has expired because over the last five years she's had the cancer and won; shattered her knee and beat that; fell and broke her hip and came back from that; broke her wrist and came back from that. She has the geriatiric equivalent of a body shop she keeps in business, but she's still alive and kickin'. She uses a walker to get around, but lives quite happily in an independent living center, manages an impressive investment portfolio and plays bridge at a very competitive level. It's not always about age. There's something to be said for attitude and it sounds like both grandparents have great ones in spades.

I hope your family has a great time at WDW and all goes well when you get home. You're all in my prayers since that never hurts!

Kat

 

[Glorydaz]

just wanted to tell you I hope your trip was great....I've been away from the boards for a bit. Having lost my FIL and stepson this year, I understand the agony of decision as far as hospital treatments go. honestly, some do well, some don't. As long as your grandmom is comfortable with her decision and the family stands beside her, that is what is most important.

take whatever time you can to spend with them...it sounds like you are a close family and that can be the best medicine. all my heart to you and your family at this time and I will keep you in my thoughts ....