I'm sorry I'm just not a Hugger!

[budmonster]

So how do you approach it when you run into people you know and they want to hug, but you don't want to return the favor. I'm just not a hugger, no matter the circumstances, if it's someone I haven't seen in a while I really am happy to see them I just don't want or feel the need to hug them. The worst was a cookout I recently went to at a co-workers house. DH, kids and I were leaving and saying our thank yous and goodbyes and the host leaned in to hug me goodbye. It was so awkward because I think he could tell that I didn't want to. I'm not cold or heartless or uncaring I'm just not comfortable hugging people that aren't very very close to me. Sometime I just don't know how to handle it without seeming like a witch.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Do you hug your kids? Or is it just certain people. Might be just a cultural thing. I can't stand when people I know from Europe kiss me on both cheeks. Its like enough already. LOL.

 

[legalsea]

 

[Ember]

As a hugger, I am never offended when someone doesn't hug. I have two friends that just aren't hug people. No biggie. I think in both cases when I went for that first hug they said something like, "Oh, I don't hug." And that was that. It caused no problems and it has never been an issue.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Maybe try extending your hand to receive a kiss on the cheek instead. We are all huggers and kissers, but the teenagers sometimes try this to avoid a hug without offending...

 

[ckay87]

When you see it happening, turn it into a chest bump

It might take some practice, but it could work.

No, I feel for you, I'm not a fan. But it doesn't happen often enough for me that I can't just participate for the sake of not hurting someone's feelings.

 

[krcit]

Maybe just take a step back and say 'Oh, you don't want to get too close-I think I'm just getting over a cold." That way no hard feelings. You would be in trouble if you ever met us...I'm a hugger but DH is a kisser LOL, he kisses people on the cheek when I introduce him to them. It's so funny because he really is very shy but that is one habit he can't break... I think it's the Italian in him

 

[minniebeth]

Your humor is never lost on me! It makes my day sometimes, really, it does.

I'm not an everybody hugger, just the people I really like and care for.
The thing I can't stand is the phoney hugger, you know, the one who hugs everyone whether they mean it or not.

 

[JessicaR]

I'm a hugger. Over the years I've read lots of threads where people feel the same way you do. Seems there are more non-huggers than huggers on The Dis.

I hug everyone though. Yesterday I had a medical test done that took an hour the tech and I bonded over a few things - we hugged at the end.

I can say though that I have a sense of those that dont like it and would never force a hug on them! Its a reciprocal thing and you can sense if the person isn't open to it.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

I'm not much of a hugger either, but I can handle that way easier than I can the kissers. Especially the mouth kissers. Unless it's my husband, I MUST turn my head... even when it's my dad.

Please, dad. For the comfort of both of us, No. More. Kissing!

 

[npmommie]

I am not a hugger either, nor am I a handshaker either. I actually hate shaking hands more than I hate hugging

feigning illness usually works,
I have one patient that I see frequently, she always wants to hug me, I know I sound mean but I say I am getting over a cold and don't want to spread my germs. then she just says ok " i love you"

did i mention i work in psychiatry?

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

Man, can I ever relate.

In South America, I'm expected to kiss EVERY SINGLE PERSON I meet over the course of the day, as both a greeting and a farewell. Honestly, I kiss at least fifty people a day...even my physiotherapist and my kids' teachers. When I go to pick up my kids at school and approach the table with the moms I sit with while waiting, I have to do the circuit around the table kissing the 8-10 women sitting there. Then, when each of us leaves, we have to get up, and repeat this (even if we've only sat there a couple of minutes!) This is then followed by each of the kids going around the table and kissing all the moms. I have, however, been unable to convince either of my DDs to do this (although people are very understanding of us cool, distant North Americans since it's an international school!)

It's strange, though. When I go back to North America, it always strikes me how impersonal our greetings often are (a little wave, maybe a handshake). While I can't say that I love the kissing, it doesn't quite skeeve me out as much as it did when I first arrived here. Maybe in another couple of years, I might actually get used to it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Note to self: Don't hug Budmonster if you ever meet her. Got it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I am not a hugger either, nor am I a handshaker either. I actually hate shaking hands more than I hate hugging

I'd prefer a hug to either a handshake or a kiss.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Sending you a hug

It could really offend people. I realize that is your personality but I have realized "huggers" usually end up being friends & non huggers are friends.

 

[akcire]

I don't like to hug adults, unless they are dressed in big character outfits-and then I can pretend there are not people inside, Mickey can hug me any time. I get my full years supply of hugs when at Disney during photos.

I have never minded a hug from a kid (not in a creepy way).

I am sure at some point I will be in therapy talking about my hugging choices!

 

[KadysMom]

Sending you a hug

It could really offend people. I realize that is your personality but I have realized "huggers" usually end up being friends & non huggers are friends.

Hi Maria

Non hugger checking in!!

 

[disykat]

I'm not a big hugger either. Although I hug close friends or family at times, when people I barely know hug me it just plain confuses me.

The kissing just plain makes me ANGRY. IMO they have violated my space.

I also don't like the kamakaze backrubbers.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm not a hugger. I don't want your armpits anywhere near me.


When I'm in an awkward hugging situation I just make sure I have my hands full, even if I have to pick up my 9 year old. Hey it was nice to see you but as you can see I can't give you a hug, I've got this kid, sorry

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I ebb and flow between who's okay to hug and who is not.

If I dont' want to hug and get fearful...extend a hand for a handshake and if that don't work, with one particular individual---I will create a barrier so that I cannot be reached. Sad but true. It is a relative, and they dont' respect boundaries, so I have to completely cut them off at the pass.