I'm really stressing over my kids missing school

[chrisn]

It can be another one of those controversial ones. Let me start by saying I do not understand schools & teachers who are that strict regarding family vacations. I've never had a problem with this although my boss thinks pulling my kids out is a mortal sin. My daughter is 18 and is a senior in HS. We've been pulling her out of school almost every February for 2 WEEKS since she was 12. She is graduating with honors and will be attending college on a scholarship starting this fall (sooo proud of her). It obviously did not ruin her academic career.

My DS is 8 and in 3rd grade. We've also pulled him out. I didn't even bat an eyelash during Kindergarten. Neither one of my children have suffered one iota. As a matter of fact, I'm willing to bet that DS wouldn't even remember the math papers or reports he's missed. But he's spoken of Mickey with Pixie Dust in his heart since he was 2 when he called it Dizzyweird. Precious memories to last a lifetime neither they nor I will ever forget. I have no regrets at all...

As for your DS's disabilities, that's a hard one. Only you know your child, what he can handle and what is best for him. Of course WDW's magical pixied dust is some of the best medicine. Good luck!!!

Post Script: Obviously DD will not be missing classes once she starts college in the Fall. Thus the Christmas vacation trip.

 

[schatterjee]

on a family vacation... But that's a whole other thing!

Based on our experience you won't be in any academic jeporady by missing some K time. Don't misunderstand I think K is very valuable but a few days won't make or break anyone. But, if you think it would make your little guy miserable for 4-6 weeks after that might be a deal breaker for me.

Either way it's nice to have two options and I hope you have a wonderful trip!

 

[susykt4]

When we planned our January 2006 trip I was really nervous about DD missing 7 days of kindergarten. After reading all the posts here I was almost terrified to tell her teacher. It turned out not to be an issue at all! Her teacher actually said "It's JUST kindergarten!" and acted thrilled my daughter was getting to go to Disney World. When I wrote a note requesting any homework, makeup work, etc. she sent only a note back to my daughter telling her to have fun.

Sorry to be no help to the OP, but to anyone else stressing over their young child missing school not EVERY district is nutso about days missed for family vacations!

 

[crisi]

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and advice. Just a little more info for you.

My DS not only has physical disabilities and Learning Disabilities, but he also has numerous medical issues and gets sick a lot. He has surgery several times a year. DS got very sick at the end of our trip in Dec due to too much stress on his little body. I talked to his therapists and Pediatrician about it today, and they all said December is the best for him. Also, DS is refluxing again (he had HORRIBLE GERD as a small child and was hospitalized for months at a time, was on feeding tubes, didn't eat anything orally, had to have a major surgery called a Nissen Fundoplication). Well, the Ped is sending us to the GI doc in 2 weeks cause he thinks the Fundo has loosened up. That surgery is MAJOR, MAJOR, MAJOR. DS was in the hospital for a week and 2 weeks recovery at home. It would require him to get a feeding tube again.

Also he had surgery on his foot 15 months ago for a tendon release, and it is tight again. So that is definitely one major surgery and likely 2 within this year. He already misses so much school for being sick legitimately, that DH and I are very concerned about adding 5 more days of missed school.

Also, it takes DS a LONG time to settle into any new routine and if he misses too much, it completely throws him off. So we are concerned that if he misses the 8th week of school, it may take him another 4-6 weeks to settle back into the routine and then we're in the middle of Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

So, we are going to keep the Sept trip as is, but we also have our Dec reservation made. We will keep listening to the advice we are given and make a final decision before we have to pay off the Sept package.

So, I would still appreciate any more advice. Thank you all.

I wouldn't feel guilty about missing school, but you need to do what is right for your family, and honestly, it sounds like you believe your DS needs to be in school. Missing a week of school in September for a normal Kindergartner can be a Big Deal - contrary to the opinions of others, not all kids adapt easily to school and some kids do need every minute with those alphabet sheets and learning their shapes and colors. If you had a child who was reading pre-K and easily adaptable and seperated easily from you, it wouldn't be a big deal. If you had a kid who wasn't reading, but adapted easy, was passing his Denver skills for his age - he'd catch up. It sounds like its going to be a struggle for your son to stay caught up if he goes to school every day,

Another option would be to look for a long weekend. My school district gives the kids a few days off in a row several times a year. So our pattern in to go in October, where they have a two day break. We take them out for three days and can be in Disney for eight.

Family time IS important, but it doens't have to occur at Disney and can happen during the weekends and evenings.

 

[waltdisneyworlddreamer]

I really stressed over this back in the fall when I pulled out my DS for 4 days (2nd grade). I also missed 4 days, and I am a teacher. I made the decision to go and then really started feeling bad when time for the trip rolled around. However, it turned out to be the best decision I ever made because our trip was absolutely wonderful. I want my kids to value education but I also want to them to value family. Just think a few years from now it will not matter that your child has missed a few days of school but the family time that you spent together will be memories that will last a lifetime.

 

[OurMsBrooks]

I suppose each family has to make its own decisions. For my family, we don't believe in taking the kids out of school for vacation. We view school as a child's "job", and their job gives vacation in summers, Christmases, and spring breaks. We like to emphasize honoring our commitments.

At the same time, I understand that different families have different views and handle things different ways. My one pet peeve is when familes expect teachers to get a week's worth of schoolwork ready ahead of time so the kids won't have extra homework when they get back. It's unfair to the teachers to expect them to do all that work ahead of time when a family chooses to go on vacation. The work should be made up when the kids return, out of respect for the teacher.

 

[pedro2112]

We like to emphasize honoring our commitments.

So does our family... emphasizing our commitment to family. For us, family is the most important commitment we can make, and we feel that spending quality time on a vacation together strengthens our commitment to family.

 

[eliza61]

Ok, I guess I'm going to be the lone dissenting post here (LOL). I'm just one of those old fashion parents who believe that education is always more important than play. I have 3 school-age kids (one who is special needs also) and we go in late august when the crowds are a bit lower and they won't miss school. You're children are young so every one is correct when they say it shouldn't make a big difference, but will you still be rationalizing it when they are in middle school? I definitely support family time, I just like to make special time for my kids all year long, not just 1 week out of the year. Fact of the matter is, most folks take Disney vacations during the school year, not for family time but because the crowds are lighter. Like I said for me, we just alway give my kids the message. School first, sports, vacations, tv etc second
Just an alternate view, OK I've got my flame retardant suit on now

 

[crisi]

So does our family... emphasizing our commitment to family. For us, family is the most important commitment we can make, and we feel that spending quality time on a vacation together strengthens our commitment to family.

This is where this debate always breaks down. Are you really saying that you can't spend quality time unless you go on vacation? Or really saying that the quality time spent on vacation during school breaks does less to strenghten your committment to your family?

Honestly, I don't believe you mean either. I think what you mean is that school is less important than dealing with crowds and/or traveling at a more expensive time of year. There are a few people who can't get vacation on their kids school schedule, but I truly think they are the rare exceptions.

 

[triplefigs]

Before this thread gets locked, I would like to say thank you to everyone who has posted. I believe that taking kids out of school for a trip is up to each family to evaluate their own beliefs. I would not be considering it, except my DS was nominated for a WISH trip, and it would be that week. But, we turned it down so a more needy family could go. So, we were thinking just go ahead and take him then (they schedule WISH trips during low crowd times for the kids). School starts for us Aug 7, so we can't do an Aug trip either. so it comes down to Summer, Spring Break, Thanksgiving, or Christmas. My kids do not get any other vacation days (no Oct breaks or Feb break).

Again, I appreciate all points of view as that is why I posted in the first place. Let's keep it civil so we can keep this thread open.

 

[mlwear]

Also, it takes DS a LONG time to settle into any new routine and if he misses too much, it completely throws him off. So we are concerned that if he misses the 8th week of school, it may take him another 4-6 weeks to settle back into the routine and then we're in the middle of Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

This is what concerns me. For a typical kid, no big deal. My son is autistic. This would be a major set back for him. Transitions are so difficult. If he even misses more than the regularly scheduled weekend, it messes him up. After Christmas break, it takes about month for him to get back and going into school. So, it isn't like missing one week, it would be more like missing three or four or more for MY child.
I would never ever consider it for my autistic child even though he would do better with smaller crowds and a cooler climate. However, my older DS would be fine.
IMHO, this isn't a ? that people who aren't familiar with your child can answer. You need to talk with his teacher (I assume he is in special needs preschool) and his docs. AND your mother's instinct is probably the best indicator.
Good luck with making a decision. Whatever you do decide, I wish the best and hope you have a wonderful trip.

 

[triplefigs]

This is what concerns me. For a typical kid, no big deal. My son is autistic. This would be a major set back for him. Transitions are so difficult. If he even misses more than the regularly scheduled weekend, it messes him up. After Christmas break, it takes about month for him to get back and going into school. So, it isn't like missing one week, it would be more like missing three or four or more for MY child.
I would never ever consider it for my autistic child even though he would do better with smaller crowds and a cooler climate. However, my older DS would be fine.
IMHO, this isn't a ? that people who aren't familiar with your child can answer. You need to talk with his teacher (I assume he is in special needs preschool) and his docs. AND your mother's instinct is probably the best indicator.
Good luck with making a decision. Whatever you do decide, I wish the best and hope you have a wonderful trip.

Thanks. Your child sounds a lot like my DS. I think that we will end up going in December to avoid any problems. The Dec trip will give him 11 days to wind down after Disney before school starts back. He won't be any more out of sync than the other kids returning after a trip. And now that he is facing 2 major surgeries by the end of this year, I just don't think an additional 5 days of vacation is warranted or a good idea. It is so nice to have these boards to "think outloud" and bounce ideas around.

BTW, I did speak to his therapists, and they said Sept was good because of crowds, and thought he'd do "ok-not great, but ok" in missing a week. My DS is in a regular preschool, and he has trouble adjusting after missing extra days, long weekends, etc. We're on Spring Break now, and next week will be an adjustment for him.

Thanks again.

 

[mrsmom]

I am taking my kids out of school in less than a month, They are 8,12,13, my oldest is staying home due to her work. But my three youngest are missing 5 days. Maybe more if delta strikes. But the school has okay this and the youngest one will just keeps a journal of the whole trip for his makeup work and they other ones will do their work before they go back to school.
My kids are A& B students , but i have one who is in and out of the hospital alot due to her birth defect. and they all do very well and the schools here, know how important family time is. I wish you the best.Try not to stress and enjoy your vacation.
Kim Me : dh dd19 ds13 dd12 ds8

 

[pedro2112]

This is where this debate always breaks down.

No, the thread brokedown with the poster to whom I was responding. I find it insulting to suggest that those that take small children out of school for a week to go on a family vacation do not "honor" their commitments. If the poster would just suggest that they don't take their kids out of school, that's fine, but there is no need to insult other posters. My post was to point out how there are two sides to this particular coin.

 

[Gillian]

If you have a long break in December, that sounds like the best thing for you and your family. We only get 5 or 6 days off, and it's Christmas week. I can't imagine going to WDW then!

In reference to the Quality comments, I personally think vacations are different than the time we spend together the rest of the year. Real life is suspended for a little while, so you can forget about work/school/karate/soccer/ballet/gymnastics/pta/etc. and enjoy uninterrupted time together.

 

[owensamo]

I'm fairly sure we'll keep the reservation. DH is looking forward to the dining too much not to.

I feel silly to be quoting myself, but I was wrong. We cancelled that reservation in order to get in good with DD's teacher, mostly.

But...

We figured that, by driving instead of flying, we could pay for our dining rather than get it free, and stay for the 7 nights prior to our big family trip rather than the extra 7 after. So we're still getting a 2 week vacation, for about the overall cost of what it would have been anyway. Even with paying for dining!

And DD gets to go to her first day of school - she was really stressing over missing it!

Mur!