I'm really bothered by this - need suggestions

[NY Disney fan]

Once in a while, I pass by this homeless family. Its a mom and two toddlers. I can't even process the fact that toddlers are homeless and sleeping in the street. They are beautiful children too and it hurts me to even look at them. I spoke to the mom about why she is in the street and she says its because she is trying to make it back home to her mom's house (in another state) but didn't have the Greyhound bus fair. She had tears in her eyes and I felt so badly. I went to the ATM machine and pulled out $300 so that she could take the bus and get off the street. I saw her the next day and she said she was so happy she was planning to go on the bus the next day and had her tickets. I was glad. This was before Christmas and I didn't see her again....well I saw them last night.

I don't know what happened or what her situation is but I immediately thought I was being scammed. But then when I look at those babies faces I get mad and want to do something. They essentially stay at a shelter at night and are out on the street during the day.

My question is: if this woman is legitimate (and I think she is), what can I do to help her? She is already with a "homeless services" program. Should I just give her money when I see her and move along?

P.S. this is really bothering me...and by the way this is the second homeless family I know. The other woman I see has only 1 toddler with her in the street. I'm not looking for a pat on the back for being concerned, I'm looking for some solutions (if anyone has any). Thanks.

ETA: I see these people a few times a week.

 

[happygirl]

If it was me I would have to call child protective services. I couldn't stand to see those poor babies on the street. I wouldn't give her any more money. If you want to give her food for the kids I say go for it.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

If it was me I would have to call child protective services. I couldn't stand to see those poor babies on the street. I wouldn't give her any more money. If you want to give her food for the kids I say go for it.

I have to agree with this. I would not give her anymore money because chances are, since she is still there and didn't do like she said, she is using the money for drugs or something. It would be hard to tell. The thing is that those children need to get off of the street & contacting CPS may be the only way to help them. It's so very sad.

 

[mickeylove2]

I would talk to someone at social services like the other poster said, but also the police department would be good. DSS can be overwhelmed at times and this family could fall through the cracks or may move along before someone gets to them so if you go to the police station, they can go out right then and there and look into the situation on the spot.

Oh and I wanted to tell you that it's great of you to be concerned.

 

[Kim&Chris]

There was a family here in the Phila area about a year ago, that was doing the same thing. They'd plant themselves on the corner of a busy intersection, with the beautiful children holding signs that said something like "help us please". They happened to be positioned close to my father's business office, so he would routinely give them $10 or $20 when he passed them.

About a month or two into this, a police officer came to my dad's office (as well as the other offices in the building) and told folks that the father had been arrested for being part of some sort of begging scam.

Hopefully this woman you mentioned is not part of a scam, but I would definitely reach out to the police or child welfare if I were you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You were scammed or your money is not going to go for "bus fair". That has to be a poor excuse and makes me think scam. Sorry.

 

[JessicaR]

I would contact social services and tell them where you see this family and how often. If the mom is making poor choices her children should not have to suffer. Your heart was in the right place and I know you wanted her to do as she said she would. I'm sorry it didn't work out that way.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

How sad! For whatever reason, this woman and her kids are on the street and living in a homeless shelter. That would break my heart too if I saw it. I hate to think of those kids on the street especially with all this cold weather.

I don't quite understand why she has her toddlers on the street unless it's to gain sympathy. How do homeless shelters even work? Do you have to leave during the day and only come back at night to sleep?

I think it's wonderful that you helped her, very generous and kind. However, I'd be concerned too that she's still there after you gave her the $300. I'd be skeptical as to what she did with it. I don't think I'd give her more money but I would bring by some food for her and the kids. Even a couple of happy meals for the kids would be sweet of you. But, you're asking for advice here so I suppose I'd see if you could learn more about her situation by asking the shelter. Perhaps she really is down on her luck and struggling to get enough cash to buy tickets for the bus. Or she's a scam artist and is using that money for herself on alcohol or drugs. I sure hope not though. Good luck with this, it's so caring of you to have taken an interest in this woman and her children.

 

[NY Disney fan]

If I reported her to Child Protective Services, would they take her kids away??? I wouldn't want that. But it might the only choice I have.

 

[happygirl]

If I reported her to Child Protective Services, would they take her kids away??? I wouldn't want that. But it might the only choice I have.

I think they would take away the kids, until she could get back on her feet.

 

[JerseyJanice]

More often than not, people living in the streets are there because of substance abuse and/or mental illness. It's not about poverty. If that mother went to Social Services, they would provide emergency housing for her family. If she's out on the streets day after day with young children, she's scamming for drug money.

Never give a homeless person money. If you want to contribute cash, there are many organizations to help these people that will gladly accept your donations. If you're feeling soft when you see, it's O.K. to buy them some food, but never give them money. It won't go toward anything you'd want them to have.

 

[mickeylove2]

If I reported her to Child Protective Services, would they take her kids away??? I wouldn't want that. But it might the only choice I have.

Not necessarily, they would assess her situation and they would work with her to get her to do what is right for the kids. With close monitoring to make sure that a care plan is being followed. The last thing they would want to do is take those children from their mother. But the welfare of the children is the number 1 priority.

 

[Hoodie]

If I reported her to Child Protective Services, would they take her kids away??? I wouldn't want that. But it might the only choice I have.

Honestly, if she is keeping the kids on the street everyday, it's probably best that they are taken away, at least until she can provide for them.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Honestly, if she is keeping the kids on the street everyday, it's probably best that they are taken away, at least until she can provide for them.

I know, I feel the same. Thank you everyone! I'm gonig to try to do what I can.

 

[minkydog]

I know this must be a difficult thing to see, little children living on the streets. I don't know whether the mother was scamming you or not. Only she knows that. But there are a couple of things you can do. You can give her groceries. And you can call CPS. I know that sounds harsh, but it's probably a lot harsher for those kids being out in the weather all day.

 

[blu3d3vil]

If I'm ever tempted to give money to a homeless person, I don't. I buy them food or whatever instead but never give them money.

Maybe you should have offered to take her to the bus station and buy her tickets - then you could have seen how honest she was being with you. But Hindsight is 20/20.

 

[robinb]

Honestly, if she is keeping the kids on the street everyday, it's probably best that they are taken away, at least until she can provide for them.

That's what I was thinking. The kids are the ones who are important here and as bad as foster care is, it's better than living on the streets.

 

[ryanshana]

You could always instead of giving them money...actually buy the bus ticket, buy the actually food, go to a hotel and pay for the room...if you are going to shell out that kind of money at least you have a piece of mind that she isn't using for other than what she is asking....

 

[Sgt Mickey]

That has to be so hard to see. I don't think I would give her any more money but I would bring the kids food and warm clothes to wear.
It is sad.

 

[Angelhalo]

If I reported her to Child Protective Services, would they take her kids away??? I wouldn't want that. But it might the only choice I have.

Rather than contacting CPS, you could contact some local churches. Many times they have programs for these types of situations. They may have a family that will allow them to stay with them, they can help her with goods like diapers and foods etc. They can probably also help to with trying to look into getting a job and more permanent housing if she is willing to take the assistance. I know my church has a program like this. It could definitely be worth looking into. That way it wouldn't involve the authorities.