I'm not a bad parent am I....?

[dopeyears]

We will be taking my DS (2years 11months..free bee) to WDW and I'm seriously considering the child leashes/harness. My DS, like most boys is sooo inquisitive, he sees something and wants to go over and have a closer look. Now at the supermarket, or wal-mart we hold hands or can keep a good eye on him, but around 25,000 people at WDW I see no other way for him to still have some freedom, and for my DH and I to have so piece of mind that he is safe. I'm looking for reassurance that I'm doing the right thing, and maybe someone has a better idea. The only thing holding me back from getting one today is how much of a problem will it cause other people walking around the parks?

 

[tammy1210]

Let me start by saying that I've never used one, and I used to think that they were horrible when I saw people in the mall with their kids on "leashes" - until I became a parent - and I totally understood. Thankfully, I've not had to use them with my kids, but if I did I wouldn't worry about what other people thought - you know your child better than anyone, and if you think he needs it, I say use it. Do you not think he'll stay in a stroller, though? When we went my dd stayed in the stroller the whole time unless we were in line or eating - but I know not all kids will do that.

 

[bookgirl]

I used to think they were disgracful till my brother and SIL had twin boys. I kept them during the day while I was in grad school. After one trip to the mall with toddlers I not only used them I didn't give a flip what people thought, because when all was said and done, I was happy knowing that I could keep them safe. I don't think you're a bad parent at least you know by having doubts that you are a very concerned parent who only wants what is best for their child. Use a leash you'll be calmer and happier and so will your child. Besides they have very cute ones now, they look like backpacks of animals and it does give them some freedom, I know my nephews hated to constantly hold my hand. So they never even fussed about the harnesses. In fact they could put them on by themselves then I would buckle the back. Just make it easy and not a big deal and they'll be fine. Only don't let the leash make you too content, they were known to climb with them on while I had my back turned or to wrap them around my legs or to unclip each other as a joke. After all boys will be boys.

 

[dopeyears]

my DS hasn't wanted to ride in a stroller since he was 18months. I can barely get him in a shopping cart. Thank goodness that my Martins supermarket has those carts with plastic cars on the front like Lowes or Home Depot has, but since he wants to walk everwhere that's 1 item I don't need to carry on a bus or rent. I guess it's pick your poison.

 

[disneyfan6301]

No, you are not a horrible parent. I used to think the same, until I had a very inquisitive little boy myself. I never used the leash unless we were at WDW or Dollywood. It gave me peace of mind, plus our hands were not sweaty from holding his (especially as tight as I would have held). Don't worry about what others think. It is your peace of mind that counts.

 

[wardfamily1]

I too used to think 'baby leashes' were horrible, that is, until I became a parent. I never needed one with my daughter (she's 6 now). I did use one on my son the last time we went to WDW. I used one of those wrist leashes and he adapted to it just fine. I got it at Babies-R-Us and it was only $3 or $4. It is made of elastic so your child wouldn't be hurt by it if you had to tug on it. He was 17 months old at the time and LOVED to take off running anytime he was out of the stroller. He was just at the point where he learned if he squirmed enough I would have to set him down, then he'd take off running. It was definately a great investment that I don't regret at all.

 

[Lady V]

It is totally your call on this. My personal opinion is that rather than put them on a leash which you have to hold onto anyways, why not just hold their hand? Last week I saw a mom and child with one of those things and when she pulled on it the child literally fell backwards because he didn't know she was about to pull it. I won't lie -I really think holding hands is better but then again-I do not know if your situation is different than mine. JMHO

 

[HelenePA]

why not just hold their hand?

Sometimes the parents are too tall to walk and hold hands with a 2 yr old. Its not good walking for hours hunched over trying to hold your little ones hand... I own them.. I never had to use them BUT I will be bringing them to disney with me just incase my little one doesn't want to ride for hours at a time. I say keep em safe on a "leash" rather than loose your child.

 

[letsgoagainsoon]

I'm sure you'll get a lot of opinions on this...

But, like others have said, until I was a parent I thought the same thing..."oh, those horrible leashes", then I had my son and quickly changed my mind!

I have used one at Disney and I plan on using it again and I don't care what anybody else thinks.

 

[MSSANDRA]

A bad parent for loving your child enough to keep him safe??

NOPE.. I agree that yes it is important to teach your child to learn to stay with you but as you said, you are talking WDW, not every little trip to the store.

Look for one that is comfortable for both of you and treat it as an extra secuirty device, not a way to lead him around the world.

There are some really cute ones that are animal backpack and you hold the tail!!!!

Ms SAndra

 

[fan_of_small_world]

I guess I'm one of the few who never thought they were horrible, even before I had children, LOL! I used one for DS when traveling at very busy airports. I never had the need to use one for DD, so I truly think it depends on the child. You are a great parent for doing whatever you can to keep youe child safe. Don't worry about what others think...you know your child best! Have a great trip!

 

[disneyjunkie]

I don't think it's a matter of good parent/bad parent. You just have to do what you think will work best for your family.

There are those who wouldn't think twice about using a leash and those who would never, ever use one.(I fall in the second group)

No matter what you decide to do, there will always be someone on the side lines shaking their head.

Do what it takes to make your trip enjoyable and try not to worry about what a bunch of strangers may think.

 

[Sehsun]

No, you are not a bad parent.

I don't even have any kids, and I think the child harness is very useful. You should ignore the looks on other peoples' faces - they probably feel that way because they don't have kids, or they don't have kids who like to go off on their own at the parks and therefore don't see the need to use harnesses.

I would rather use a harness than lose my child in the parks.

 

[susykt4]

I work at a zoo and have never seen so many toddler harnesses as this year! It seemed like every other kid this summer was harnessed. I saw so many cute monkey, puppy, etc harnesses. I think they are becomming more accepted.

I took a harness when my son was 2 1/2 but never used it because for some insane reason he LOVED being in his stroller at WDW. (The kid would never accept being in a stroller anywhere else. Whatever...) Take a harness and use it if you need it!

 

[becca011906]

i hate thoes things so much, but mostly i've seen parents actully like pulling on them like they are actully walking a dog.... now for parent who uses one for a highly inquisitive, and hi moving child and uses them properly i would much much much rather see a parent use on then a child lose or missing in the happiest place on earth!!!

 

[moniot]

The best thing we ever did was use them. Our kids were 3 and 4. They each had their own belt bag (fanny pack). I had leashes I attached to the waist strap. Easy on and easy off. They were actual dog leashes. Wrapped up small to put away, metal clip, I could loop it around my belt bag.

The kids had both their hands free to dig in their bags, eat their ice cream or drink their water. They were always within a few feet on me (not so long a leash that it cut of others) and no sweaty hands that were always trying to let go so they could do something. It gave them some freedom and still made me feel safer.

We didn't use them all day every day. Only when needed. But I had them with me all the time.

They didn't replace watching my kids, just made it easier to watch both at the same time.

 

[ApolloSaturnV]

The first thing you need to remember as a parent of your children: Do what you feel is in their best interest.

I also thought the harness was a leash and was horrible. . . until I became a parent. I have had my share of praises, and also I have been in some verbal spars with those that think they need to inflict their opinion on me.

I use the harness in large crowds. I know it takes a nanosecond to lose site of your toddler, and that does not make you a bad or inattentive parent. Nor does using the harness when you know the chances of that happening are increased.

 

[LauraAnn630]

You know whats best for your children. Sometimes you have to do what you think is right even if other do not understand. Go with your gut feelings.
It really dosent matter what others think. What matter is you child is safe.

I just got back from WDW. We had my 10 yr old autistic niece with us. I could not believe how many adults stared at her. My poor sister was running around apologising to everyone explaining shes autistic.

I told her, "Amy you do not have to apologise or explain anything to anyone!"

Amy said, " Well, it stops them from stairing."

It was heartbreaking. I dont think they enjoyed there trip at all. They were so worried about other people.

I have used a harness when our son was 2 yr old. People did stare. I just laughed and said, "Do you want to try and keep up with him for 2 weeks?!"
Id just smile and keep on going.

Have a great trip!

 

[Gabrielsbigtrip]

We will be taking our 5yr old son who has Autism in May this year. It is our very first trip - 9 days at the WL.

I actually bought a harness when he was very little but was so afraid of all the looks I knew I was going to get. I have to be on him like white on rice anyway so I never did use it.

He can't communicate his full name or any other information that would be helpful if he was lost. I will be buying the shoe identifcation and wrist id bracelet for him. I am also going to buy a lanyard with the Autism puzzle design. I will put id. info in that too. I will do the hand holding thing because he is 5 and tall for his age. I hope by gearing him in his lanyard I don't have to put up with any bad behavior from so called non-special needs people

I guess what I am saying is that you obviously would feel worse if your child were lost - so if keeping them safe makes you a bad parent well than I guess I'm a bad parent right there with ya.

Have fun and do some research about that backpack with a tail to hold onto....I may try to find one of those.... We booked during the school year so hopefully it won't be a mad house.....We can't wait......

C.

 

[Frincy]

The only issue that these "leashes" cause is when parents use them as an excuse to not watch their child. No you dont pull on it like a leash or use it to steer your child around. Its not a freebee to let your kid run while you dont watch them. Its a backup safety device to keep inquisitive toddlers from getting seperated from mom and dad.
I would never ever pass judgement on someone using one. I personally have never used one, but if I felt like I needed one in the future I would buy and use one without hesitation.
When your child is asleep in bed at night safe and sound, it doesnt matter what kind of looks you got all day.