I'm feeling AWFUL...is there something else I should be doing??

[kacaju]

I agree with the OP. My daughter fell and hit her head last year while we were hiking and honestly, we really thought she was OK. A week later she is complaining of headaches.. took he rto the Dr. and after a number of Dr. visits, in the end a visitt o a Neuro. We found out that mostly likely she suffered a concussion.
She is fine and back to her normal self now, she had some problems with memory for about 5-6 months.
Anyway MONTHS, I mean at least 7-10 MONTHS later I got a weird letter from our insurance asking how she hurt her head.
When I called they asked how she hit her head.
I am sure if I told they the name of the place where she hit it, they would have gone after them for payment on the claim.

 

[Helene]

OP here.

Perhaps it was a mistake on my part, but I did formally offer to cover the cost of co-pays, deductibles etc. In the end I recognize we will ultimately be responsible and I would rather handle it in an upfront manner from the beginning to avoid problems in the end.

I appreciate all of the support & suggestions offered. I will be calling our ins. agent & attorney tomorrow to review our options.

BTW, the kids were all playing together yesterday and the little girl is doing ok. At this point it is a waiting game until they see how it heals.

Any pixie dust you all can send is appreciated!!

 

[Karel]

My daughter has been to the ER several times in her young life and we've never had an insurance investigation or had to fill out any accidental injury reports.

We paid the co pay and insurance took care of the rest. That's why you have insurance.

Kids make mistakes. They do things without thinking and sometimes others get hurt. Sounds like the OP is doing what she can.

 

[Helene]

I'd have your DS write a note to the girl explaining how sorry he is and that he was wrong for what he did. While her getting hurt was an accident his throwing the rock wasn't. At his age he should know better. It's good to know he feels badly and is upset about it. That shows he's a caring child.

While I think it's very nice to get the family a gift your DS needs to step up and take responsibility for what he did. It'll make him think twice in the future.

Sorry, but I feel compelled to respond to this.

He HAS taken responsibility. I haven't had time to post a complete list of all we've done and had him do, but I can assure anyone who doubts how this is being handled that we, and he, are doing all we can. In fact, I was talking to the mom again yesterday and she told me how impressed she's been with him.

On his own initiative, he extended his hand to the girl's father, looked him in the eyes and apologized. This was without coaching from us, we weren't there.

I know that he "should" know better, but I also recognize that kids act on impulse sometimes before they actually think things through.

I am hopeful that this is a valuable lesson for him, but I certainly can't guarantee he won't make a mistake again.

I guess that's what parenting is all about.

I hope I can survive the teen years

 

[bellebud]

Sorry, but I feel compelled to respond to this.

He HAS taken responsibility. I haven't had time to post a complete list of all we've done and had him do, but I can assure anyone who doubts how this is being handled that we, and he, are doing all we can. In fact, I was talking to the mom again yesterday and she told me how impressed she's been with him.

On his own initiative, he extended his hand to the girl's father, looked him in the eyes and apologized. This was without coaching from us, we weren't there.

I know that he "should" know better, but I also recognize that kids act on impulse sometimes before they actually think things through.

I am hopeful that this is a valuable lesson for him, but I certainly can't guarantee he won't make a mistake again.

I guess that's what parenting is all about.

I hope I can survive the teen years

your son totally sounds like he's stepping up! i'm sure you're proud of him, and you should be. kids certainly do make mistakes. Yes, he meant to throw the rock, but he certainly didn't mean to hurt his friend! Kids throw rocks all the time. I'm sure he's feeling terrible about it! It sounds like you're all doing everything you can.

 

[lighttech]

Sorry, but I feel compelled to respond to this.

He HAS taken responsibility. I haven't had time to post a complete list of all we've done and had him do, but I can assure anyone who doubts how this is being handled that we, and he, are doing all we can. In fact, I was talking to the mom again yesterday and she told me how impressed she's been with him.

On his own initiative, he extended his hand to the girl's father, looked him in the eyes and apologized. This was without coaching from us, we weren't there.

I know that he "should" know better, but I also recognize that kids act on impulse sometimes before they actually think things through.

I am hopeful that this is a valuable lesson for him, but I certainly can't guarantee he won't make a mistake again.

I guess that's what parenting is all about.

I hope I can survive the teen years

It sounds like your son is growing up into a very caring and responsible young man. You are right. Kids do things without thinking. That's why they require good parenting. And, judging by your honest reaction and his unprompted apologies, he obviousy has good parents backing him up and helping him to grow into a young man who can be respected.

I admire you for trying to do the "right" thing. Its unfortunate that, as other posters have pointed out, sometimes that means you get bit in the behind. So, it probably doesn't hurt to take precautions to protect you and your family, but kudos for trying to be an honest and upfront human being as we all should be to one another.

Fairly new here, so I'm not familiar with offering pixie dust, but I can only imagine its good thoughts, blessings, etc. So, sending some your way!

 

[CampbellScot]

My daughter has been to the ER several times in her young life and we've never had an insurance investigation or had to fill out any accidental injury reports.

We paid the co pay and insurance took care of the rest. That's why you have insurance.

Kids make mistakes. They do things without thinking and sometimes others get hurt. Sounds like the OP is doing what she can.

My stepson is also very accident prone. Things happen when kids are playing. It has always been my opinion that we have insurance for a reason. It should cover accidental injury. That being said, in the "sue happy" world we live in today, you have to be careful and protect yourself. I would suggest the OP speak with a lawyer, just for their own protection.

The OP's little boy must feel terrible. I'm sure he never intended anything so terrible to happen. It was an accident plain and simple. It's too bad that kids can't be kids and play without fear of a lawsuit any more. I'm sure this little boy learned a big lesson about throwing anything in the direction or even general vicinity of another person. My stepson would SO be the one throwing a rock. He just doesn't think. I hope something like this doesn't have to happen to make a point!

Best wishes to all involved!!

 

[CEDmom]

Sorry, but I feel compelled to respond to this.

He HAS taken responsibility. I haven't had time to post a complete list of all we've done and had him do, but I can assure anyone who doubts how this is being handled that we, and he, are doing all we can. In fact, I was talking to the mom again yesterday and she told me how impressed she's been with him.

On his own initiative, he extended his hand to the girl's father, looked him in the eyes and apologized. This was without coaching from us, we weren't there.

I know that he "should" know better, but I also recognize that kids act on impulse sometimes before they actually think things through.

I am hopeful that this is a valuable lesson for him, but I certainly can't guarantee he won't make a mistake again.

I guess that's what parenting is all about.

I hope I can survive the teen years

Your DS sounds like a great kid. The reason I wrote what I did was because so often parents jump in to fix a mistake their child made and don't expect the child to take any responsibility. I got that vibe from your OP but it sounds like I was wrong. Hopefully the friend will heal and not need surgery. I'm glad this hasn't affected any friendships. You're right, kids make mistakes it's whether they learn from them that makes the difference. It sounds like your DS has done that.

 

[MagikMom]

Do you know what I REALLY feel sad about when I read some of these responses? Everything we do these days we have to worry about being sued. My god, kids play, kids get hurt, accidents occur. This is life. This little boy ACCIDENTALLY hit this girls hand while they were playing. He did not throw the rock AT HER, he threw the rock at the pile of rocks and sticks. I am a Mom and a Pediatric nurse. Parents should support each other not blame each other. Things have sure changed since I was a kid. I'm sure many of you can relate.

 

[Nanu57v]

My daughter has been to the ER several times in her young life and we've never had an insurance investigation or had to fill out any accidental injury reports.

We paid the co pay and insurance took care of the rest. That's why you have insurance.

Kids make mistakes. They do things without thinking and sometimes others get hurt. Sounds like the OP is doing what she can.

Us either. DD fell at daycare and they sent me a letter which said something about responsible party paying, but I called them and explained it was an accident and that was the end of it.


OP--Don't stress...you sound like you have a wonderful family and are a great person.

 

[dis-happy]

My dd fell off her horse last year and ended up in the ER for an xray. It was clearly an accident. But I was hounded by our insurance company (BC/BS) until I filled out a form stating that it was an accident and not in any way related to a workman's comp issue. So maybe that is the basis of insurance in general asking about fault.

To the OP: IMO you did the right thing in offering to pay the co-pay/deductible. I hope that the little girl is okay and things are back to normal for all of you soon. (Hugs.)

 

[dansamy]

Do you know what I REALLY feel sad about when I read some of these responses? Everything we do these days we have to worry about being sued. My god, kids play, kids get hurt, accidents occur. This is life. This little boy ACCIDENTALLY hit this girls hand while they were playing. He did not throw the rock AT HER, he threw the rock at the pile of rocks and sticks. I am a Mom and a Pediatric nurse. Parents should support each other not blame each other. Things have sure changed since I was a kid. I'm sure many of you can relate.

I am also a pediatric nurse and I've had plenty of chances to observe parents and their lawyers making their plans to sue the responsible party for an accidental injury. Unfortunately, this is reality now and the OP needs to consider it (and its potential impact on her financial standing).

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'd have your DS write a note to the girl explaining how sorry he is and that he was wrong for what he did. While her getting hurt was an accident his throwing the rock wasn't. At his age he should know better. It's good to know he feels badly and is upset about it. That shows he's a caring child.

While I think it's very nice to get the family a gift your DS needs to step up and take responsibility for what he did. It'll make him think twice in the future.

I agree. It must have been a pretty big rock to cause those kind of injuries and your son should have known not to throw rocks like that. I'm sure this will stay with him and he'll never do it again. I do feel for your son...we all make mistakes.

 

[Microcell]

Well, the plain and simple fact is that her child threw the rock and hit the other child, making them liable for the damages incurred. While the parents may have health insurance that will cover the child's surgery, the insurance will initiate an investigation once the ER claim is filed. The ER claim will show an accidental injury. The insurance company will send an accidental injury report form to the parents of the girl. If they fill it out honestly, they will list this lady's child as the one to throw the rock and you guys will be getting a bill from their insurance company. Talk to your lawyer and your insurance agent soon.

I think that depends on the insurance. When you code claims there are ICD 9 diagnoses and if there was an accident you would use what is called an E- code. They are not phrased in any way that assigns blame. It would say something like "Hit in finger with rock". I have been coding for insurance for 8 years and the most that is asked of anyone is of the doctor, for their notes. The notes may indicate that she was hit by a kid in the neighborhood, but certainly the doctor would not name the kid.

 

[PA Princess]

Life with kids sure is an adventure...so sorry your ds was involved with this situation, but it sounds like you and he are handling it well and being respectful, compassionate, and honest to those involved - way to go!

One of my sons last summer threw a ball at another son and broke his thumb. This happened in our yard and it was only our own kiddos involved, but at no point were we asked by the insurance for the responsible party...they just paid the bill. I hope the same will be true in your case.

 

[Helene]

I think that depends on the insurance. When you code claims there are ICD 9 diagnoses and if there was an accident you would use what is called an E- code. They are not phrased in any way that assigns blame. It would say something like "Hit in finger with rock". I have been coding for insurance for 8 years and the most that is asked of anyone is of the doctor, for their notes. The notes may indicate that she was hit by a kid in the neighborhood, but certainly the doctor would not name the kid.

Thanks for that information, it is helpful in relieving some of the worry.

It just seems in todays world, you just never know what will happen. At this point I think we've done what we could do and now we'll continue to pray about the rest.

Thanks to all who have been so supportive . I know my son did something he shouln't have done, but on that day and in that moment he wasn't perfect.

I'll post again when I get news on how things are healing.

 

[Helene]

I agree. It must have been a pretty big rock to cause those kind of injuries and your son should have known not to throw rocks like that. I'm sure this will stay with him and he'll never do it again. I do feel for your son...we all make mistakes.

Just to clarify, the rock wasn't that big, I saw it. According to the ER physician, the injury is consistent with what all the kids who were there said happened. Her hand was resting on a very hard surface (rock & bricks) and when another very hard object hit it, it didn't have any "give", KWIM???

I've had many people assume the rock HAD to be HUGE, as did I initially. I am still amazed that such a serious injury would result based on the description of the events, but it did.

 

[squirrlygirl]

Helene- My brother threw a rock at a bird in a tree once and it hit a neighbor boy and required stitches. He was 9. Just so you know, my brother grew up a great guy, and the kid that was hit still speaks to us

That said, I just received a letter from my insurance company last month about my dislocated shoulder last year. It wanted to know if there were any other parties involved, and if so, who? It also wanted to know if it was accidental or intentional.

I had a surgeon cut the nerve to my thumb a few years ago during carpal tunnel surgery. I spent 6 months with him telling me there was nothing wrong before being sent somewhere else (worker's comp issue) and finding out there's no way that guy was a surgeon and didn't know exactly what he did to me. He just didn't want to "admit" what he did. If it had gone much longer, the nerve would've degenerated too much to ever have been fixed. But at least that guy didn't get sued. Sigh.

I commend you and your son for stepping up.

 

[NemoMOm]

Do you know what I REALLY feel sad about when I read some of these responses? Everything we do these days we have to worry about being sued. My god, kids play, kids get hurt, accidents occur. This is life. This little boy ACCIDENTALLY hit this girls hand while they were playing. He did not throw the rock AT HER, he threw the rock at the pile of rocks and sticks. I am a Mom and a Pediatric nurse. Parents should support each other not blame each other. Things have sure changed since I was a kid. I'm sure many of you can relate.

OMG, isn't it just awful! As an ins. agent I saw sooo many suits come in the office for mundane accidents that I am insured up the wazu in fear

To the op, it sounds like you have a wonderful son and very nice neighbors. It sounds like you have nothing to worry about. Good Luck!

 

[Helene]

Brief Update:

I talked to the mom today, the girl had her first follow-up with the surgeon today. According to mom, "it didn't look too bad, it's healing nice".

She said the upper part of the finger is flatter than it should be, likely due to the dislocation of the bone. I was somewhat relieved to hear that it doesn't appear to be a total disfigurement.

Thanks again for all the words of support. I still cry when I think about the whole thing (PMS isn't helping ), but I keep telling myself that things will find a way to work themselves out!!