I'm feeling AWFUL...is there something else I should be doing??

[Helene]

This just happened as I was getting home from work today and I'm a mess.

I came home to my kids in tears. My kids (ds8, dd9) were at the park playing with the other neighborhood kids and together built some kind of table out of rocks & sticks. DS decides to try to knock it down by throwing a rock at it and a girl's hand was near it. The rock apparently hit her hand & I'm told her finger was cut bad. The mom yelled at ds saying "how could this be an accident, her finger is almost off".

I'm not upset about mom yelling, I understand that. I am worried about how the girl is and the severity of the injury. I did call the house and left a message for the family, but I don't know what else to offer or do in this situation.

DS is genuinely a very good kid and would never intentionally do something like this. Still, he is responsible. Any suggestions as to how you would handle it?? I'm waiting for a return call and I'm a nervous wreck

 

[pjb_hockey_mom]

This honestly sounds like an accident to me. I think you've done what you can for now, calling the family. I would wait for them to call back and if not then try them again, maybe in the morning. Give it some time for everyone to cool off, the mother sounded upset.

You have your son's accounting of what happened, I would wait and speak with the mother.

Good luck!! Have a glass of wine or a cup of tea!

 

[Helene]

Well, the girl's mom just stopped by.

I can't believe how remarkably calm she was and VERY FORGIVING

Turns out it is a very serious injury requiring 8 stitches on the inside of the finger, 13 on the outside. The bones are crushed and she may require plastic surgery.

She even invited my kids down tomorrow & apologized to my son for yelling at him initially.

I plan to put together a basket of goodies for the girl and get the parents a gift certificate to a local restaurant. I know it won't make up for what happened, but I want to do something.

I just thought I'd share the story. I was so afraid it was going to turn ugly & because of her graciousness, it didn't.

 

[java]

Yikes! Are you paying the medical bills? I know it was an accident but really maybe you should offer some financial help?
And are the 9 and 8 home alone during the day? Or was some other adult around to help alleviate the situation.
I am so sorry that this accident happened and I bet your little guy is feeling just awful.

 

[suffolkprincess]

Well, the girl's mom just stopped by.

I can't believe how remarkably calm she was and VERY FORGIVING

Turns out it is a very serious injury requiring 8 stitches on the inside of the finger, 13 on the outside. The bones are crushed and she may require plastic surgery.

She even invited my kids down tomorrow & apologized to my son for yelling at him initially.

I plan to put together a basket of goodies for the girl and get the parents a gift certificate to a local restaurant. I know it won't make up for what happened, but I want to do something.

I just thought I'd share the story. I was so afraid it was going to turn ugly & because of her graciousness, it didn't.

Wow! I am relieved for you. Plus, every kid in the neighborhood will think twice about throwing rocks now

I feel for your DS-- I am sure he feels terrible.

 

[dunbarfamily]

Wow! Sounds like this turned out really well. I'm glad she was so forgiving, and the fact that she apologized to your child is wonderful! My son has hurt other kids before, not seriously, but still, he has hurt them. I always feel terrible, but then I think that if another child accidently hurt my child, I would be understanding too.

I'm glad that this worked out so well! Now go relax Mama!!

Oh, and kudos to you for putting together a little basket of goodies. I'm sure you've thought of this, but if she requires more treatment (i.e. surgery, etc) maybe another little something (smallish, like a coloring book, paperback, whatever depending on age) would be in order. Just an idea!

 

[kjetjl]

Thank you for sharing the story. It gives me hope that people can treat each other graciously and respectfully even in unfortunate situations.

 

[dunbarfamily]

Yikes! Are you paying the medical bills? I know it was an accident but really maybe you should offer some financial help?
And are the 9 and 8 home alone during the day? Or was some other adult around to help alleviate the situation.
I am so sorry that this accident happened and I bet your little guy is feeling just awful.

Hmmm...not sure I agree with offering to help with medical bills. I'm concerned about the legalities of it....like if you admit fault and then something goes wrong down the road....I'd just be nervous, but maybe I'm paranoid! If you think parents don't have insurance, or if you think they need help and you are willing/able to help, maybe mention it just one time, but still, I'm not sure that I'd do it. It seems like you'd be opening a big can of worms. It's a sticky situation.

Again, I am glad that everything worked out!

 

[Helene]

Yikes! Are you paying the medical bills? I know it was an accident but really maybe you should offer some financial help?
And are the 9 and 8 home alone during the day? Or was some other adult around to help alleviate the situation.
I am so sorry that this accident happened and I bet your little guy is feeling just awful.

I'll be talking to Dh @ the medical bills, & yes, that is part of the plan as well.

As far as my kids being home alone, no they weren't. They were supervised by another mom. Our kids play together constantly over the summer and they were at her home for the afternoon. The park is a block from both our homes and my kids came straight home knowing I would be here.

 

[cymomtx]

You might check with your homeowners insurance. I know if it happened on your property that would be covered, it may cover the incident at the park.

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

How about having your son help putting the basket together. Or maybe have him make a gift for the girl, or earn money to pay for things in the basket.
Maybe he could write a note of apology to the littler girl and pick out a stuffed animal to go with it?
If they ride the school bus together...school will be starting soon, perhaps if her had still hurts he can assist in carrying her papers/bag?

just tossing ideas out there.

 

[lighttech]

How about having your son help putting the basket together. Or maybe have him make a gift for the girl, or earn money to pay for things in the basket.
Maybe he could write a note of apology to the littler girl and pick out a stuffed animal to go with it?
If they ride the school bus together...school will be starting soon, perhaps if her had still hurts he can assist in carrying her papers/bag?

just tossing ideas out there.

I agree with having your son help. Everyone has offered good advice about how things went with the adults... although I'm certainly no expert on the legality of things and such. But, I know you originally posted b/c you were also concerned about your son.

I think it would be a great idea for him to help you bake some cookies or put together the basket and write a note, etc. If he could help you deliver it, it might help too. I'm sure it was an accident, and nasty ones happen sometimes. But, concern directly from him will help him learn to be responsible for consequences... even accidental ones. But, more importantly, it may make him feel better to DO something. It may make the girl feel better to know he is sorry and didn't mean it, and it may make him feel better to see her and know that, although she is hurt, she's doing o.k.

Good luck. What a tough situation. I'm glad, though to see that everyone is acting responsibly and kindly toward one another. All too often this doesn't happen and everyone loses sight of what is important.

 

[CEDmom]

I'd have your DS write a note to the girl explaining how sorry he is and that he was wrong for what he did. While her getting hurt was an accident his throwing the rock wasn't. At his age he should know better. It's good to know he feels badly and is upset about it. That shows he's a caring child.

While I think it's very nice to get the family a gift your DS needs to step up and take responsibility for what he did. It'll make him think twice in the future.

 

[Nanu57v]

Wow, I think you've done everything just right! I wouldn't worry about the medical bills, as accidents happen. I'm shocked a rock could've caused so much damage! I cut my finger bad on glass and only need 8 stitches (or maybe 11...its was a while ago).

Anyway, kudos on saying all the right things! I'd let it go from there (still do the gift basket of course, and have the kids make get well soon cards.)

 

[delilah]

I would be very careful about offering to pay expenses, or even admitting excessive blame for the accident. I had a situation like this where the person involved agreed to accept payment of medical bills, then later sued for other damages not initially mentioned or present. The person involved seemed very gracious at the time. Once you offer to pay expenses, you are admitting guilt, and this would be used as evidence against you in a law suit. I would talk to an attorney before doing so, and have the other party involved sign a legally binding agreement not to sue.

 

[dunbarfamily]

I would be very careful about offering to pay expenses, or even admitting excessive blame for the accident. I had a situation like this where the person involved agreed to accept payment of medical bills, then later sued for other damages not initially mentioned or present. The person involved seemed very gracious at the time. Once you offer to pay expenses, you are admitting guilt, and this would be used as evidence against you in a law suit. I would talk to an attorney before doing so, and have the other party involved sign a legally binding agreement not to sue.

THAT is exactly what I was trying to warn about in my post. I hate to live paranoid, but you just don't know.

 

[NemoMOm]

I know as an honest person that you want to offer help with med. bills but the other pos may have posters are right. You may have some coverage on your ins. policies depending on what type you have however, if you step in and pay the company can no do anything. I know it's awful but I worked 5 yrs in an ins. office and you would not believe how many people sue parents. Not to scare you the mother sounds very nice and not like someone who would such a thing. However, it is better to be safe than sorry. You can even call your ins. office and tell them you do not want to put in a claim but just discuss what your policy could do for you.

 

[bellebud]

I love the idea of having your ds do a couple of things for the girl. I think it would be wonderful for both of them. So sorry this happened, and glad the other family is understanding about it being an accident. Hope her finger is ok.

 

[grlpwrd]

This just happened as I was getting home from work today and I'm a mess.

I came home to my kids in tears. My kids (ds8, dd9) were at the park playing with the other neighborhood kids and together built some kind of table out of rocks & sticks. DS decides to try to knock it down by throwing a rock at it and a girl's hand was near it. The rock apparently hit her hand & I'm told her finger was cut bad. The mom yelled at ds saying "how could this be an accident, her finger is almost off".

I'm not upset about mom yelling, I understand that. I am worried about how the girl is and the severity of the injury. I did call the house and left a message for the family, but I don't know what else to offer or do in this situation.

DS is genuinely a very good kid and would never intentionally do something like this. Still, he is responsible. Any suggestions as to how you would handle it?? I'm waiting for a return call and I'm a nervous wreck

I agree with not agreeing to pay for medical expenses. It might turn ugly.

 

[dansamy]

Well, the plain and simple fact is that her child threw the rock and hit the other child, making them liable for the damages incurred. While the parents may have health insurance that will cover the child's surgery, the insurance will initiate an investigation once the ER claim is filed. The ER claim will show an accidental injury. The insurance company will send an accidental injury report form to the parents of the girl. If they fill it out honestly, they will list this lady's child as the one to throw the rock and you guys will be getting a bill from their insurance company. Talk to your lawyer and your insurance agent soon.