If your ex takes the kids on vacation....

[torinsmom]

If you are divorced and your ex takes the kids on vacation during their time(whether custodial or non custodial), does he/she give you information on where they are and contact numbers other than cell phones? I am asking because I have always called once we are in the rental house/hotel and given the info to my ex in case of emergency. I am wondering what others do. As long as the other parent does not abuse the knowledge(calling more often than agreed upon, etc), I think it is a good idea. It would make me feel better to have contact information other than cell phones, since they can be lost, stolen, broken, or simply not get signal. It's never been an issue, since my ex doesn't really take my son anywhere out of our area.

 

[sunnyday123]

It's in our custody paperwork that he MUST provide a working number and the address to the place they are staying. Of course, giving medication as prescribed by the Dr is also in there, so I don't know if it's normal for here, or just because he's an idiot.

I give him the same courtesy, because he is her father, however I would never let him take her out of the country and vetoed any long distance trips when she was younger. He once took her to the beach when she was 4, with his girlfriend-and then left them both while he went out and partied. With her car seat in his truck. So she drove her around with no car seat, and let her run around on the beach while she slept. DD walked down the beach and couldn't find their blanket, so she called me from some random strangers cell phone who helped her find the gf. Needless to say, I went down there and picked her up.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

Speaking as someone who's cell phone still doesn't work properly more than two days after the earthquake here in Chile, I think it's a horrible idea. We never think catastrophes are going to happen to us until it does.

My DD11 was at a friend's house for a sleepover, and I was panicked waiting two hours for a phone call saying she was okay (and that came through on our homeline, which cut out shortly after and is still out). At least I knew where she was. I can only imagine how I'd feel if I knew she was in an area that had been hit by a disaster, and not have any info about her location. My DH and many friends are still trying to track down people in the south more than 48 hours after the earthquake.

Barring court orders forbidding the information to be given, I think it's only common sense.

 

[tw1nsmom]

Speaking as someone who's cell phone still doesn't work properly more than two days after the earthquake here in Chile, I think it's a horrible idea. We never think catastrophes are going to happen to us until it does.

My DD11 was at a friend's house for a sleepover, and I was panicked waiting two hours for a phone call saying she was okay (and that came through on our homeline, which cut out shortly after and is still out). At least I knew where she was. I can only imagine how I'd feel if I knew she was in an area that had been hit by a disaster, and not have any info about her location. My DH and many friends are still trying to track down people in the south more than 48 hours after the earthquake.

Barring court orders forbidding the information to be given, I think it's only common sense.

How scary for you!

For the reasons stated above, if there were court orders forbidding my ex from giving me the specific address and contact numbers, I would make sure those orders also required him to give the information to the court each time he took the children out of town. Somebody has to have the information in case of emergency.

 

[sunnyday123]

How scary for you!

For the reasons stated above, if there were court orders forbidding my ex from giving me the specific address and contact numbers, I would make sure those orders also required him to give the information to the court each time he took the children out of town. Somebody has to have the information in case of emergency.

I cannot imagine any court order forbidding one parent to give the other parent information as to the whereabouts of their children.

 

[Bren's Mom]

Whenever we're taking dss anywhere I always e-mail his mom with just about every tiny detail of the trip, just in case.

Name of the resort or condo. Phone # for the office there, and for the unit directly if there is one. When we're camping, the name and # for the campground. And my sister's info if we're camping, because she's nearby in NH where we usually are. If we're flying I send her flight #s, times, airline both going and returning. If I can think of it, I give it to her.

She's never needed it. Dss has a cell, dh and I have cells and she's always reached us on one of them. But I feel, as a mom, that a mother should never not know where her own child is...I respect her enough to give her as much info as I can. If she abused that...well, I'm sure some people do but thankfully she never has.

 

[cheermom1]

We do too. I write everything down with #'s and addresses and I give it to dh to give to her on the day we leave. No we don't tell her before hand but the reasons is she will trow a fit and cause problems. so we figured that if we give her the info on our way to our destination she has time to think before she does anything. We go to TX from AR a lot.

We live only about 10 min's or so to the boarder of another state and we go to the other state a lot for things as it closer than the nearest town. Anyway she found out we crossed the boarder and wow that was really bad, she called the cops and everything...

But yes it is a very good idea to give info just in case..however she refuses to give us the same courtesy.

 

[PatsGirl]

Although I am very transparent about everything I do with my kids (I have nothing to conceal) I don't think I've ever provided the ex with specific information other than we'll be on XX cruise leaving from XXX or we'll be at WDW from this date to that date. Of course, I can always be reached by cellphone as can the kids. If he wanted detailed information I'd have no problem providing it though.

On the other hand, DS's dad never so much as took him three towns over to the mall so no issue there. DD's Dad lives a very evasive lifestyle, never offers information and when asked only provides the smallest amount of information he can to get by. This is a man who didn't tell me he was getting married and that DD was his flower girl until two weeks before the wedding and I think only then because he realized it wasn't his weekend. DD has also called him to ask a favor only to find out he is out of the country vacationing? Huh, isn't this just dining table conversation during visits? Guess not.

Anyway, he has vacationed with DD out of state (only twice) and pretty much told me what state and nothing else. I don't argue the case because I know he takes great care of her and if an emergency arose he would get in touch with me and now she also has her own cellphone. I am thankful that he prefers to spend his getaways with his girlfriend(s) rather than with DD and when he takes her for summer weeks, they hang around his house and the beach for the most part.

Also, a few years ago I was taking DD on a cruise and I had him sign a "can take daughter anywhere anytime by any travel method including internationally" and he didn't blink an eye and had it notarized for me as well.

 

[torinsmom]

OP here. I guess everyone pretty much thinks it is not a big deal and actually a good idea to ask for the contact info.

The reason I asked is because my ex's second wife(who is also his ex, LOL) emailed me and said he had told her he was taking the kids to the beach for Memorial Day Weekend Friday am through Monday pm. Her daughter is 15 months old. She asked what beach and he told her she did not have a right to know and it was none of her business. They don't have any kind of custody/visitation agreement other than verbal, and I told her she needs to get that in place and include the communication point in there.

Ex is going with his new gf and her two kids(15 and 17) I think he would give me the info, because we have a civil relationship and he knows I wouldn't use it unless it was a dire emergency, and I always give him the info when we go on trips.

The other issue is that he told her Friday am and DS15 has school that day with exams the next week. He does not need to miss class that day. I don't know if he will push that or not.

 

[PatsGirl]

No way in H E double hockey sticks would anyone be taking my 15-month old baby to a BEACH!!! and not telling me where/when/how...

I have two fears for my babies ~ drowning and choking You can take them to WDW (because I won't be thinking about the pools) and I can't really stop you from feeding them but....no way, no how, beach vacation. Why would anyone want to take a 15 month old to the beach by choice with two adults and two teenagers? Sound like more work than fun to me

 

[sunnyday123]

No way in H E double hockey sticks would anyone be taking my 15-month old baby to a BEACH!!! and not telling me where/when/how...

I have two fears for my babies ~ drowning and choking You can take them to WDW (because I won't be thinking about the pools) and I can't really stop you from feeding them but....no way, no how, beach vacation. Why would anyone want to take a 15 month old to the beach by choice with two adults and two teenagers? Sound like more work than fun to me

You must be me!! I did not give DD cheerios until she was 2 because I was terrified she would choke!

And I would worry about the pools too. No way would anyone be taking my 15 month old to the beach without me.