If you sursprised your kids with a trip, did any of them not like being surprised?

[seven dwarfs]

I surprised my kids once with a trip to Disney. They found out when they saw the sign. They all six expressed to me they would rather not be surprised in the future and I have not surprised them since. They said the trip went way to fast. When we were home they felt like it was a dream. They all felt as if planning, discussing, researching was all part of the experience.

They appreciated the trip. They had a blast and were so excited when they realized where they were.

I am sure others have children that liked to be surprised. I did not even think they would feel the way they did but when they explained it to me it made since. I think you could still surprise them to announce the new time. I have surprised them with a special meal, fireworks cruise, etc., which is a nice touch without taking away that anticipation they enjoy with the lead up to the actual trip. One time I allowed each child to plan a meal on their own and keep it a secret. This was so much for my hubby and me.

 

[SEA333]

I surprised my kids once with a trip to Disney. They found out when they saw the sign. They all six expressed to me they would rather not be surprised in the future and I have not surprised them since. They said the trip went way to fast. When we were home they felt like it was a dream. They all felt as if planning, discussing, researching was all part of the experience.

They appreciated the trip. They had a blast and were so excited when they realized where they were.

I am sure others have children that liked to be surprised. I did not even think they would feel the way they did but when they explained it to me it made since. I think you could still surprise them to announce the new time. I have surprised them with a special meal, fireworks cruise, etc., which is a nice touch without taking away that anticipation they enjoy with the lead up to the actual trip. One time I allowed each child to plan a meal on their own and keep it a secret. This was so much for my hubby and me.

Yes...mine obviously like it LOL One thing you reminded me of that I forgot to mention, is that since our trip was a spur of the moment, just got the free dining pin in my inbox, ran the #'s, and it seemed like something we could pull off *IF* nothing major happened (like a car breakdown or the roof collapsing or whatever), we would be able to swing the 4th vacation of the year (since we had no Disney plans that year, we had already done three trips to various places), we booked with full intention of cancelling before the 45-day mark if anything crazy came up.

Because of this, we did not tell the kids right away. The disappointment of us telling them and then having to cancel is WAYYYY worse to my kids than finding out 15 minutes ahead of time and not having time to anticipate or plan which park they want to go to!

Reading this thread is interesting to me....it seems like you have to have kids that really like surprises, you have to be 100% absolutely positively sure that you ARE going, and the timing has to be right as far as activities/sports/etc for one to pull off a good surprise.

I am glad we did it for the kids once in their lives. It is something they never will forget

 

[lovemy4sweeties]

True - my kids are (almost 14), (almost) 10, and (just turned) 8...he was still 7 at the time of the trip. We did run into a small issue with DS13 and his 8th grade Spanish class project, but that was really minor and turned out fine. We are still pretty up on all activity schedules and school with them...I'm sure that would change if DS were to get a part time job in a few years or I stop being as involved in the activity planning for them, so I guess it also has a lot to do with the timing of the planned surprise as well. Maybe some families are not in the right "time" to be able to? Luckily, we were!!!

So, I agree with you, but what I do not agree with PP's on is that is DISRESPECTFUL not to tell my kids, or that I am depriving them of something by not telling them and letting them help plan. My kids actually couldn't care less about planning anything LOL so they certainly didn't feel deprived! And, if they *did*, I would feel compelled to remind them that not everyone is so LUCKY to have the means and the parents who would go to the lengths we did to plan something so fun for them that a lot of kids never, ever in their lives will get to do, and maybe they should take a few moments to think about how lucky they are to be able to go at all! Luckily for us, my kids never acted ungrateful for the trip or the surprise, so we didn't even have to go to that negative behavior modification route at all. Whew!!

I would post the video of the reveal to prove how excited and happy they were with the surprise, but I don't know how!!! LOL

SEA333, I completely agree with you!

 

[lovemy4sweeties]

Awww! Your post makes me so sad for you!

Some of the greatest things in life come as surprises

My kids absolutely loved their surprise trip, and have asked for us to surprise them again. I'm glad I am raising go-with-the-flow kind of kids who can see the positive in a surprise and he happy about it. They trust me enough as their mom (and awesome planner of stuff LOL) that I know them well enough to choose places they like to eat and things they like to do, but then again, DH and spend a LOT of time with our kids, so when planning, it was easy for me to consider their likes/dislikes. DS7 does not like seafood, so I didn't pick a seafood place. DD does not like to get splashed, so no Splash Mountain FP+ for us. It's not really that hard to plan a surprise trip when you know your kids.

I also am pretty sure my kids still feel respected LOL

To each their own, of course, but I still feel really sad for you. I'm sure your way of looking at things work for you and your family, though, even though it doesn't seem very fun to me!!

HTH

Exactly!!
We haven't done a surprise WDW trip, but I would love to one day. I am also very involved with my kids so I know them pretty well. I know their schedules, their likes and dislikes and what they would be ok missing and what they wouldn't want to miss. So, if we ever have the opportunity to plan a surprise WDW trip, they would love and appreciate it. They already know we're planning to go in the fall, so no surprise this time. But I agree that your kids will remember that amazing surprise forever .

 

[flutterby3744]

We've never done it, but have thought about it. Last year we wanted to do a surprise Christmas morning reveal, but for various reasons, couldn't go at that time. Now looking back, I'm glad we didn't. I know for sure my 6 yo DS would HATE it (he thrives on routine, and doesn't like surprises at all), and coincidentally my 11 yo DD and I were watching Disney surprise fail videos last night, and she also said she would hate it. She loves the planning and the anticipation.

Everyone knows their kids best, but be prepared for a negative reaction!

Side note: I wish some of those videos had updates, like was it a bad trip overall or did the kids get excited once it was "real".

 

[jensen]

We had originally planned a March 2015 trip, but we have moved it up to Sept 2014. The kids knew we were planning a March of 2015 trip for Spring Break to WDW, but they don't know about moving the date up and changing it to DLR. DH wants to surprise the kids, but I'm not sure they will like it. I think they will want to help us with some planning (they are 7 & 4) and will want to pack their own bags for the plane ride, etc. Did you ever regret surprising the kids or have your kids be disappointed?

We surprised our kids when DS was 7 (in the first grade). He freaked out and didn't want to go.

The way we did it was the culprit... we went to the airport saying DH had to run an errand there. When we arrived, DH went to run his "errand" which was checking our luggage. I walked the kids up the gate and said "wouldn't it be fun to get on a plane today?" They said "yes"! Then I asked where they'd want to go if we did... "Disneyworld" was the answer, of course.

When DH came back, I replayed the conversation for him and he said, "Well, let's do it!" So, we got in line... then DS started to freak out... he was worried about who would tell his teacher, what would we do for clothes, who would take care of our dog... all kinds of things a first-grader shouldn't even be thinking about.

He was Nervous Nelly the whole flight and didn't calm down until we arrived at the hotel and our luggage had been dropped by ME.

 

[jenirvt]

In 11 days we are heading down! We are surprising our kids with 2 days in WDW (MK only) and staying on Disney property prior to heading to Naples, where our family owns a beach house. They know we are going to FL, already have days arranged for missing school, dog/house sitter, etc. DD (8) has been asking to go to Disney for years and keeps lamenting about how she "WISHES she could go to Disney World!" while we are down there Since are flying into Orlando first, what I've told them is that we "couldn't get" plane tickets into the Naples area, so we had to fly into a different airport first, then we'll get up really early the next morning to drive to the beach house. They were like "Let's get up at 4AM so we don't have to spend all day in the car!" Little do they know, when we get them up super early and throw some breakfast at them (once they've woke up a bit), we're going to MK instead! I hope they are excited but I also am a realist and know their reactions might be negative - particularly since it will be early in the morning when we "break the news"! However our kids are total "morning people" so I have a feeling they'll be just fine with it!

BIL and SIL just took their kids to MK last week so we've been talking all about "What would you do if you DID get to go to Disney?" Including looking some of the rides up online, etc. Hopefully I've prepped them enough to be excited when we make the announcement!

 

[Happyjen27]

I had a split decision when I asked the kids how they felt about the surprise trip this past December.

My son, who in general does not like changes in things wished we did not surprise him.
My daughter was happy we surprised her and asks to be surprised for another trip regularly.

So, as with all things parenting, it depends on your kids. If you have a child that in general does not like change, like if they get nervous when someone new puts them on the school bus, that child will probably not be happy to be surprised. If you have a kid that rolls with the punches pretty easily, then they will probably love the surprise.

If you have one of each, then do what Mommy wants! We ended up picking our pair up from school early for a "dentist appointment" and surprising them then. It was the only place I could think of that they wouldn't prefer, as I was worried about all those youtube videos when the kids are disappointed they aren't going to the local playground like they were originally told. That gave us a 30 minute drive to the airport to field questions and give him some quiet time to adjust. By the time we got to the airport he 1. believed us (momma didn't raise a fool) and 2. was fine with hopping on a plane and going to Disney.

ETA: We surprised them on the second trip, so they knew what "Disney" was. I think many surprises that go south are a result of kids never having been to Disney, and not knowing enough about it to be happy.

 

[Iowajes]

My Aunt surprised her family of 4 with a Disney vacation. Picked them up from school with bags packed ready to go to the airport.

The 2 younger kids (7 y/o) were thrilled, the two older kids (16 and 18) spent the ENTIRE vacation pissed off. They felt not telling them was a betrayal and their parents lied to them and didn't trust them to know things.

She said the vacation was NOT what she wanted it to be.

I think surprising a week early is better than day of. But you know your kid best.

 

[gincz24]

We surprised our 5 kids, ages 3,6,6,10,13, in September. We told them we were going camping. We picked them up from school with the car loaded and ready to go. We always drive to disney from the Houston area. They fell asleep in the car and my husband and I drove all night. They woke up at a rest stop in Florida. We just played it off and said we made a wrong turn. The 10 year old noticed the signs saying Epcot 5 miles and was like what? My husband had the video camera to record them being excited they weren't at first. I was so upset. They were disappointed about not camping and confused because we had told them we wouldn't be going back to disney for awhile. They were more excited to find grandma and grandpa were there in our hotel room.

 

[SEA333]

My Aunt surprised her family of 4 with a Disney vacation. Picked them up from school with bags packed ready to go to the airport.

The 2 younger kids (7 y/o) were thrilled, the two older kids (16 and 18) spent the ENTIRE vacation pissed off. They felt not telling them was a betrayal and their parents lied to them and didn't trust them to know things.

She said the vacation was NOT what she wanted it to be.

I think surprising a week early is better than day of. But you know your kid best.

Wow! I can see a 6 year old being upset by a change in a routine, but a 16 and 18 year old being seriously angry at their parents for taking them on a vacation?

I told my 9 1/2 year old DD, who loved being surprised and asked that we always surprise her with trips, that some kids are mad at their parents for surprising them with a trip and she said "WHYY??!!!" I told her that some people do not like surprises. She was in the backseat of the car and I heard her whisper "....spoiled!" under her breath.

LOL

If my 16 and 18 year old kids got mad at me for planning something awesome for them, that would be the LAST time I ever planned anything for them ever again.

ETA: Although, I do have to say that parents that lie to their kids with a story about whatever when it comes to the surprise are kind of setting themselves up, so I do understand that a kid *might* feel betrayed (although I hope my kids never feel betrayed ENOUGH that they cannot get over it and have fun on vacation!!). We never once lied AT ALL to our kids about the trip....all packing was done by me in secret so I did not have to explain anything (it helped that I went on a week-long business trip the week before OUR trip, so the suitcases being out didn't matter, although I would have just hid them better if I had not had the business trip), we gave the kids TONS of hints that they never got, we did not talk about it in front of them, so we didn't have to come up with a story. Even on the morning of the trip, we planned everything down to the minute so that the morning mimicked a regular school morning, except that I did not leave at 7am like I always do. At 7:25am when I was still there, DD asked if I was going to work that day, and I said "no, my boss said it was OK for me to change my schedule today", which was very true...vacation days certainly are changes!!

The most fun part of the ride to the airport was having them realize all of the clues that they had missed - they thought it so funny when they started thinking back to certain things we had said or done.

 

[pumpkinpatchquilter]

I am subscribing to this thread and I hope that you share how it goes for you if you decide to go through with the surprise!

We are doing a very similar surprise! We have been talking about a return trip to WDW since our first visit in 2012 - right now my kids think we are going back in March 2015...but we are already booked and paid for September 2014. They seem to have NO clue either...and whine and complain that it's a whole year away. LOL We have a countdown calendar with something like 387 days on it. LOL We got a later flight than last time so we are just planning to have them go to bed like normal and then wake them up early and tell them we decided to go to our trip a little earlier than March...like...today early! I am making t-shirts and I'm going to have them all ready to put on...I am not expecting much but I sure do hope they are surprised and excited. We did sort of a test run surprise trip for this past week...we spent the night at a nearby hotel with swimming and the fun part was there was snow on the ground outside...they loved it...so fingers are crossed! My youngest may not figure it out until we're there, but the older two who are 8 and 12 will be excited. It could go either way, we could have tantrum city or total excitement...we'll just have to see - it's worth the risk though!!

ETA - I got really excited by page one of this thread but now that I'm reading through backwards - WOW! I agree with those who have stated, only you know your kids best and how they might receive such a surprise. I think it's how you as parents handle surprises too. It was always sort of engrained in my kids heads from the get go by us to be thankful and grateful of the wonderful life they have. We are a lower middle class family, I stay home and make a small income from a home based quilting business - nothing special or fancy about us. But we work hard for what we have and we let our kids know it. Some kids just don't like a disruption in their routine...and my kids are worryers like me so they will be concerned that everything has been covered, but they also know to trust when I say it's all taken care of. So I personally think my kids will be psyched! I have totally included them in planning...they just think it's a year away. They picked all the character meals and I am making dresses for them...they picked out their shoes and costumes. I have asked my middle daughter who is 8 a handful of times what she is most excited about or wants to do most and she says "All of it - I'm just excited to go Mom, I don't care what we do, I am just happy to get to go there!"...we still get to enjoy the anticipation of the trip but I'd say my kids are the go with the flow type. But knowing my kids, I think they are going to be so excited to go earlier, and I think they will enjoy the surprise. If not, lesson learned. But I also will not tolerate attitude in our family, and when someone does something kind for you, in our house it's expected that you be respectful and gracious in return. Sometimes kids are not gracious - or grateful...and that's normal! LOL It's up to us to teach them what's appropriate and what's not...but on the same turn...you will know if your kids emotionally will appreciate such a drastic change in routine! Good luck and I am enjoying reading all of these responses!

 

[puffkin]

We go to WDW at least 2 times a year and fly from PA. We have NEVER told my DS8 about a trip in advance. EVER. He drives me crazy pesting about a birthday party or school event coming up that I can't even imagine him with a Disney trip. We just get in the car and go (usually straight from school) and he usually figures it out fairly quickly. We don't really get the huge, excited reaction, we just get a "cool" type reaction and then he moves on. Only once did he have a major meltdown about us not packing some match box cars or something like that, he was about 3 that time. We mainly just don't tell him because it is WAY easier for us. We also never tell him about local day trips, ball games, movies, Disney on Ice, community events, etc until right before. Just easier for us that way plus if we can't go for some reason he doesn't get disappointed.

It just works for us. Our kids are EXTREMELY adaptable too. And I don't worry too much about the planning part. My kids know we go pretty frequently so they will say things all the time about Disney and things they would like to do or try. I just make mental notes and try to include those things on our next trip. Plus, my kids don't work or earn a salary. My husband and I do. So the trip is for us too, not just the kids. They can plan their own vacations when they can pay for them in my opinion. But we always try to do some special things for each member of the family on each trip.

 

[SEA333]

We go to WDW at least 2 times a year and fly from PA. We have NEVER told my DS8 about a trip in advance. EVER. He drives me crazy pesting about a birthday party or school event coming up that I can't even imagine him with a Disney trip. We just get in the car and go (usually straight from school) and he usually figures it out fairly quickly. We don't really get the huge, excited reaction, we just get a "cool" type reaction and then he moves on. Only once did he have a major meltdown about us not packing some match box cars or something like that, he was about 3 that time. We mainly just don't tell him because it is WAY easier for us. We also never tell him about local day trips, ball games, movies, Disney on Ice, community events, etc until right before. Just easier for us that way plus if we can't go for some reason he doesn't get disappointed.

It just works for us. Our kids are EXTREMELY adaptable too. And I don't worry too much about the planning part. My kids know we go pretty frequently so they will say things all the time about Disney and things they would like to do or try. I just make mental notes and try to include those things on our next trip. Plus, my kids don't work or earn a salary. My husband and I do. So the trip is for us too, not just the kids. They can plan their own vacations when they can pay for them in my opinion. But we always try to do some special things for each member of the family on each trip.

 

[anniemck]

We went on a trip to Disney with my cousin and her family back in 1992. We were on the way to our family reunion weekend and left a day early to spend a day at Magic Kingdom, my kids (4, 2, 1) had been there several times before, hers (5, 1.5) had never been. My 4 yo was all excited because we told her, and she was not allowed to tell her cousin. He wanted her to ride with them, since his sister wasn't fun in the car, his mom said no, she was afraid my kid would tell.
He was miserable the whole drive up (3 hours) because he didn't have anyone to play with, and when we arrived he was upset because he thought we were going to the hotel to play in the pool with all the cousins at the reunion. He was completely miserable the entire day because plans changed from what he was told. He was afraid of all the rides, even cried on Small World. In the mean time mine was going on BTMR and Tea Cups and Pirates.
For sure her kids are not ones to be surprised.

 

[sarahk0204]

Reading through these, I figured out why surprising my kids went well.

We told them the night before we left.

We didn't say we were doing "A" and then doing "B", as we left on a Saturday morning after telling them on a Friday night. We generally don't have big plans on the weekend.

They had done a trip in this time frame before (December with missing a few days of school), so they knew what to expect at home.

They had been to Disney several times before, so they knew what to expect there.

I had already spoken to their music teacher and the Sunday School director, so neither had any big parts in the school music program or the Sunday School pageant and were just missing being in the chorus or being 1 of several angels or shepherds.

They were also 8 1/2 at the time. DS especially would not have been happy if I had tried a surprise at 4 or 5.

 

[chrismb22]

My son keeps asking when we are going back and I keep telling him when he is 7 (he will be 5 actually).

We are going to tell him about a week before because as previous poster said, I don't want to hear "is it today, are we going today" for he next eight months lol.

He enjoys making plans with me and that makes me happy. I also want him to pick what he wants to bring on he plane etc.

Side note: his "elf" shows up on his birthday (always around Thanksgiving) and usually brings him a small birthday gift -- like a book and a note. I was thinking of having the elf tell him about the trip. I will make the note say this gift is from Mommy and Daddy however so he doesn't expect an expensive gift every year lol

 

[Feberin]

My dad surprised my brother and I with a trip when I was in high school. He told us one day after school that we were leaving that night then left me to pack my own stuff. I forgot a lot of stuff and was behind on school work when I got back and had missed a test that I was only able to make up due to a very nice teacher who could have said no and impacted my grades. Obviously with younger kids you might not have them be as far behind with schoolwork but I still think it's good to let the teachers know in advance. And packing for a trip that big in an hour is difficult especially if you're 14 and not used to packing.

 

[nataliej_vk]

Last trip we surprised the two girls (6 years old) I did it b/c the mother I was going with didn't want her daughter (3) who wasn't going to know. Personally I had a hard time getting excited for the trip the same way as I normally do, and it kind of made the whole trip less exciting. I think for me a huge part of the trip is my daughters count down, enthusiastic responses to waking up each day to 237 days left!, and her input onto the planning but that's me, as a single mom me mad my daughter talk about everything so I very much missed that boding we have on our trips( it also maybe was missed more b/c the other mother seriously didn't care about any of the planning process or have any desire to participate in it so I felt alone doing it)

 

[PHXscuba]

My sister, who is an awesome mom, never tells her kids about anything in advance, from doctors' appointments to vacations. She says it's easier than fielding questions of "how much longer?" While I agree it might be easier with very young kids who don't understand time, I think never telling kids about anything in advance misses the chance to:
1. learn patience and delayed gratification
2. ask questions and prepare
3. learn about the place you are going

When we've planned big trips, we tell our kids a couple months in advance so we can get our schedules straight, avoid "lying," and give them the anticipation of looking forward to something and counting down. During our weekly family meetings, we'd have a "Mickey Minute" and talk about some details of our trip -- travel, where we were staying, restaurants, must-dos, etc. My kids really looked forward to a Mickey Minute and would remind me if I forgot!

While I'd never say never about a surprise trip, I know we've all gotten a lot out of planning together. To each their own, but this works for us.

PHXscuba