My parents were high school sweethearts and married when my mom was 19 and my dad 22. It was during WW II and my dad enlisted in the Army and was sent overseas to Europe. My mom found out that she was pregnant 2 weeks after he had left. He was in a unit that moved around a lot and was on the France/Germany border and didn't receive the telegram that my brother had been born until 2 weeks after his birth. He was 18 months old before my dad came home. Then a month later my mom found out she was pregnant with their 2nd son. They stayed very busy raising their 2 boys and when my oldest brother was 19 and my other brother was about to graduate from high school my mom got the empty nest syndrome and she and my dad decided to have another baby. This was a time when it wasn't very common for a 39 year old woman to have a baby and all of their friends told them that they were completely nuts, that this was when they should appreciate having their kids grown and out of the house, etc. Plus some of my mom's friends were very skeptical that a 39 year old woman could conceive again. Ha ha. I was born when my mom was 3 months shy of 40. I grew up hearing the story told time after time about how the day my mom and dad brought me home from the hospital that as they were leaving the parking lot my dad became so overcome with emotion that he had to pull the car over and he and my mom sat there and cried. Growing up when people would find out that my brothers are 18 and 20 years older than me I would see snickers and looks like I MUST have been an "accident". I knew otherwise and even my brothers told me that even though they thought at the time it was crazy for my parents to have a baby at that age that I was no "accident". I am now 38 years old. My dad passed away 8 years ago but my mom is 78 and still kicking. We are extremely close. We've talked about what it was like for her to have another baby at 39 and she has always said that it was the best decision that they could have made. I kept them young. She says that although they LOVED my brothers that they were so young that they didn't appreciate the little things as much as when they had me. She said she had much more patience and time to give when I was little than she had when my brothers were. From my perspective, even though there were times I felt more like an only child since my brothers are so much older, I had an incredible relationship with my parents. The three of us spent lots of time together, vacations, just going to get ice cream or whatever was even special. I guess what I'm trying to say is that they never regretted having a baby later in life and I don't regret that my parents were older than my friends. I too, get that "baby fever" (as I call it) a lot. I absolutely loved every minute of having my 3 babies (and still do of course!). Mine aren't as old as yours though. They're 13, 9, and 7 and as much as I would like to have another we are so stretched with time (not to mention how expensive they get as they grow and I want to be able to send them all to college) that it probably just isn't feasible for us. Our kids are involved in a lot of sports, activities, danceline, etc. that we're already stressed having to be 3 places at one time some days. But, if I had the time, and finances I would have another. It IS important that whatever you decide to do that you and your husband agree since if you don't it could cause problems later. BUT, if you sit down and explain to him how important it is to you he may rethink things and I'm sure that he would adore your child once he gets over the "fright" part and holds his son or daughter the first time. I don't mean to sound like Dear Abby but one thing I have come to find in 16 years of marriage is that when most of us women think of having a baby we look at it differently than men. We think of the miracle, the oh so cute teeny weenie baby clothes, who they will look like, etc. and men tend to look on the practical side, like "Will I be too old to play baseball with him when he's 14? Am I really up to all those open house nights and Christmas parties at school when they get into kindergarten? Car insurance will be phenomenal by the time he's 16. And college...can you imagine the tuition in 19 years?????" These are just examples but that's how (IMO) men think. Talk to him about what his fears about having another baby are, talk them through and he may change his mind. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best! I am so sorry this was so long!!!!!
She's now 41. Her first 3 are college ages, and the little ones are 2 and 3. Then I have another friend who just wasn't conceiving. Test after test, etc. was done. I'm not sure if they finally found out the problem or not. But she wanted kids so much that she divorced her husband and found someone else. They now have 2 boys. Interesting the lengths people with go to for kids.
