If you need me call me...

[Lisa loves Pooh]

...so that I can ignore you or make some excuse of why I cannot help you.

Just a vent this holiday season, don't mind me. I almost find it amusing at times. Especially when people freak out when my DH travels a lot and wonder how I can do it all alone. It seems I have no choice since their offers of assistance are worthless. Lots of practice!




There are a few people in my life who are like this. When times are down for me, I'll get flack for not letting them know and then told next time, call if you need any help.

But it seems when I do that, I always get the brush off.

And this is why I hate asking people for help when DH is not here. I just have to end up making do or do without regardless. But at least they can feel good for offering, I suppose.

 

[Robindianne]

Hugs to you.

 

[Ephany]

Been there, done that. Big hugs.

 

[C.Ann]

Guess it's time to reciprocate - huh?

I know you haven't felt well for quite awhile now and you must be feeling overwhlemed with the holidays and all.. You would think "someone" could lift a finger to help you - geez...

Hope things get better for you real soon..

 

[DMRick]

I'm sorry

 

[kaytieeldr]

Okay, well, this takes a little effort and organization (NOT to imply in ANY way that you lack either!), but... next/every time someone makes an offer or comment like this, make yourself a note - date, time, surroundings (on the phone, in the Starbucks on the corner of Main and Park...), maybe the situation that led to them making the offer...

The next time you need help, call one of these people and remind them of the specifics of their offer and that you're asking for their help now.

To be completely honest, this may not get the results we expect - but at least you'll know whose intentions are sincere and who's just giving you lip service.

 

[DMickey28]

If I was close to you, I'd help. I know what you mean though ... My BFF is like that. When we moved back up here she offered to help me move some stuff one day, planned the day etc. Then the day before came, we talked and suddenly her coming to help me for the afternoon alone without kids became her and her DH coming with the kids to see her mom who lives down the street and maybe we could get the kids together to play. ***? Annoying ...

When she moved a few months later, I went over, picked up her two girls, brought them back to my parents house (where my dad was working out of the house) and kept them for the afternoon so she could deal with the movers without worrying about a baby and toddler. It wasn't easy since I didn't have my own house yet and had to keep everyone under control in my parents house but it's what I offered so it's what I did.

My DH travels too ... It will be interesting to see what happens when I actually ask for help ... which for me to do will be amazing. I think I am super woman!!

 

[Rose&Mike]

If I was near I would help, too.
I stopped asking my family (sisters and Mom) and DH's family (he only has one sister) for help 18 years ago when DS was born. I had life threatening complications during childbirth, and multiple problems afterwards. DH went back to sea when DS was 10 days old. I was so anemic, my heart would race when I walked across the room. No one could find the time to come stay with me, despite the offer to pay for plane tickets, etc. None of them was working full time at the time. DSIL lived near us, and did find the time to come over for dinner at one point I think. Thank goodness I had other Navy wives to drive me to drs. appointments.

I'm really sorry that you are going through a hard time. Vent away anytime.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Aww--that's okay. I make do and when I'm in a pinch and truly need someone, I resort to hiring help as I find it much more reliable.

Like I said--I was just venting. It always works out anyway--but it is just something I have pondered for years with this person. They have helped with pets on occasion. However that's usually pretty easy stuff and very rare and not the type of help she is offering when i get scoffed at for not asking for help when it is needed.

 

[mhsjax]

You need to move to my area. I have the most wonderful neighbors. We have had a terrible year. Hubby had a heart attack, then knee surg. then I had surg. My neighbors don't wait for me to ask, they jump in and tell me how they will take care of the kids, which person will take them to their sporting events and bring them home, and where they will be spending the night, so that we could be with each other in the hospital. I don't think neighbors and friends like that exist much any more, I am so thankful for them and anytime they need something I will be there for them.

Also I understand about the hubby not being there, you could count on me if I lived near you.

 

[sunnyday123]

I have point blank told people to stop offering. My Mom does this, but first she'll call me and tell me all the things that I NEED to do-because being a single Mom working two jobs isn't enough, how to do them and when I should allow time to do them. Then comes the "I'll come down and help on Saturday"-and she lives about 5 minutes away. Saturday comes and goes, and no Mom.

When I had DD, my incision got infected. I was so swollen my maternity clothes didn't fit, and I could barely walk. I had a fever and felt like I was going to pass out. She came to help me with the baby. Her idea of helping was holding DD so I could clean, cook-because my soon to be ex-husband would be home soon and he would want dinner of course-and everything else. I called my Dr. to tell them how crappy I was feeling. She asked if anyone was helping me out, and I started crying and told her my Mother and her idea of helping. My Dr. very calmy asked to speak to my Mother, and told her if my fever went up anymore, she was to take me to the ER, and she would have a newborn to take care of. That ate every 2 hours, and took an hour to eat, and that I would be in "grave danger" if I was hospitalized.

My Mom asked me what needed to be done after that.

to you. Their time will come when they need help.