If you have a problem, shoot it..

[NMAmy]

---------------

Oh for sure!

"Department of Lawn Chair Rehabilitation Services"

"Department of I-Think-I-Saw-Something-But-I'm-Not-Sure Sewage Control"

"Department of Parks, Recreation and Raking"

"Department of Neighborhood Junk Mail Watch"

"Department of Antagonistic Imaginary Dog Control"

---------------------

I really love the thought of the OCD son raking the beach over and over. Something like that just makes me want to skip across their beach! I think your granddaughter showed remarkable self-restraint.

 

[Maleficent13]

---------------

Oh for sure!

"Department of Lawn Chair Rehabilitation Services"

"Department of I-Think-I-Saw-Something-But-I'm-Not-Sure Sewage Control"

"Department of Parks, Recreation and Raking"

"Department of Neighborhood Junk Mail Watch"

"Department of Antagonistic Imaginary Dog Control"

---------------------

Well, at least you can laugh about it!

C.Ann, you remind me of Erma Bombeck...your writing style is great, and you have a talent for description...you should write a book!

 

[C.Ann]

I really love the thought of the OCD son raking the beach over and over. Something like that just makes me want to skip across their beach! I think your granddaughter showed remarkable self-restraint.

-------------------------

Worst part is, she CAN walk across their beach (or any other beach for that matter - you just can't "park" it there) but who wants to chance a run in with a rake-weilding maniac?

(Pssttt.. Rumor has it they're going home for a couple of days next week to annoy their neighbors at their year-round home.. My granddaughter is going to be here all that week.. I have visions of "huge castles in the sand..." )

 

[OceanAnnie]

I'd be tempted to make them a bourbon cake. Heavy on the bourbon. Maybe it would lighten them up a bit or give them a nice nap time. Either one would be a nice break. j/k

 

[C.Ann]

I'd be tempted to make them a bourbon cake. Heavy on the bourbon. Maybe it would lighten them up a bit or give them a nice nap time. Either one would be a nice break. j/k

--------------------

You may be on to something there.. I was just looking through my muffin recipes, hoping I could find one that would work well with arsenic, but your plan might be the better way to go.. Today is my DD's birthday and it just wouldn't be right if she had to skip that special dinner of fish sticks and curly fries to bail her mamma out of jail, ya know?

 

[WeirdEyes]

C. Ann, thanks for the laugh. You are a treasure, my lady!

 

[lulugirl]

Give me the address I'll "take care" of them.

 

[C.Ann]

-----------------------

Many years ago - before I had the finer things in life here (electricity, running water, a regular stove, etc.) - I had a friend that used to spend her summers at a campground north of here.. My only communication then was by mail (had to drive 2.8 miles away to the Post Office, which by the way was disguised as a gas station).. So, I would write her a letter every single day filled with humorous stories of what was happening around here.. Every night at the campground everyone would gather in the center for a huge campfire and she would read my letters out loud.. I ended up being the evening entertainment and I wasn't even there! LOL Many of the campers suggested I put them in book form, but I couldn't remember what I wrote and my girlfriend left them in the trailer when she and her husband divorced.. (She met a "Grizzly Adams" type guy up there and they got hitched.. They - and the 5 kids between them - moved into a one-room cabin there at the campground and the marriage lasted about 83 hours..I told her it was a bad idea, but at least she'll always have wonderful memories of her 4th (or was it 5th?) marriage - right? )

 

[sorcerormickey]

Oh, C Ann, I feel for you - I really do, but you have me ROFL about all of this!!

Just don't 'accidentally' blow up their house while they are gone, OK? We'd miss you here on the DIS!

 

[C.Ann]

Just don't 'accidentally' blow up their house while they are gone, OK? We'd miss you here on the DIS!

---------------------------

Nope.. Soon as they leave my son-in-law is going to start digging like mad and hook into their septic system..

'Course first we have to get out the AK-47's and take care of all of those Nanny Cams.................

 

[magicfan]

Oh Lordie! Some neighbors can be so much fun---not.

Maybe the old neighbors should get jobs down at your local Walmart as door greeters?? Might give them something else to do-- besides being busybodies.

 

[C.Ann]

Maybe the old neighbors should get jobs down at your local Walmart as door greeters?? Might give them something else to do-- besides being busybodies.

--------------------

No chance that would fly.. They'd never get to work on time.. When they come out of their driveway, all they have to do is take a quick right and they're on the "main" road before they've had a chance to exhale.. But do that do that? Nooooooooo.. They have to take a LEFT and drive up past my place so they can peer in the windows as they're going by at a half-mile an hour.. (I never even knew a car could go that slow without being in neutral.. )

I never did get my mail today.. I suppose I could try to sneak down there right now but I just know one of them would leap out of the darkness and screech, "You hoo! Are you going down to check your mail? I wouldn't bother till morning if I were you.. Nothing important - just the Pennysaver, an electric bill and a post card from Sharon.. By the way, who is Sharon anyhow? Sounds like she loves her new house.. Are you planning on visiting her soon? I noticed she asked about that..."

Ugh! Do you think that arsenic would be terribly noticeable in corn muffins??

 

[ksjayhawks]

---Ugh! Do you think that arsenic would be terribly noticeable in corn muffins??

Do you remember the old black and white movie "Arsenic and Old Lace" with Cary Grant? He had two aunts who lived with a nephew who thought he was Teddy Roosevelt. The dear ladies "helped" lonely single men go on to their "reward" by giving them a glass of their homemade wine, then burying them in the basement.

Maybe you could rent that and get some ideas???

 

[kaylajr]

--------------------

No chance that would fly.. They'd never get to work on time.. When they come out of their driveway, all they have to do is take a quick right and they're on the "main" road before they've had a chance to exhale.. But do that do that? Nooooooooo.. They have to take a LEFT and drive up past my place so they can peer in the windows as they're going by at a half-mile an hour.. (I never even knew a car could go that slow without being in neutral.. )

I never did get my mail today.. I suppose I could try to sneak down there right now but I just know one of them would leap out of the darkness and screech, "You hoo! Are you going down to check your mail? I wouldn't bother till morning if I were you.. Nothing important - just the Pennysaver, an electric bill and a post card from Sharon.. By the way, who is Sharon anyhow? Sounds like she loves her new house.. Are you planning on visiting her soon? I noticed she asked about that..."

Ugh! Do you think that arsenic would be terribly noticeable in corn muffins??

I think it would be better disquised in your rootbeer cake....

You know i am really close to you and have a HUGE hole in my back yard that i will be filling with dirt in a week or two there is alot of room there
any ideas??


seriously sorry you have to deal with people like that
but this is the mountains we get all the weird ones

 

[golfgal]

We had a neighbor lady like them once. She was all up in arms because I let DS play with the neighbor boy whom she was convinced was "heavy into gang activity". The boys were 2 and 3 years old at the time. I really don't think he mom was taking him to gang meetings on her day off of work.

 

[Charade]

Go over to the Pat Robertson thread. There is a poster (who shall remain nameless) that doesn't seem to mind if people get rubbed out. Maybe you could ask her to do it!

Nice.

 

[Serena]

 

[JoeEpcotRocks]

We had a neighbor lady like them once. She was all up in arms because I let DS play with the neighbor boy whom she was convinced was "heavy into gang activity". The boys were 2 and 3 years old at the time. I really don't think he mom was taking him to gang meetings on her day off of work.

Were they packing pistols in their pull-ups?

It's tough to be a gang member when you can't cross a street.

We had a neighbor who went to my wife's workplace and complained to my wife's boss that our daughter told her daughter that there is no Santa Claus. Our daugher didn't do it BTW.

 

[zippeedee]

--------------------

I never did get my mail today.. I suppose I could try to sneak down there right now but I just know one of them would leap out of the darkness and screech, "You hoo! Are you going down to check your mail? I wouldn't bother till morning if I were you.. Nothing important - just the Pennysaver, an electric bill and a post card from Sharon.. By the way, who is Sharon anyhow? Sounds like she loves her new house.. Are you planning on visiting her soon? I noticed she asked about that..."

Ugh! Do you think that arsenic would be terribly noticeable in corn muffins??

Isn't mail tampering a federal offense? Maybe YOU need a nannycam pointed at your mailbox! Can you get one with a lock on it? I live in a duplex and my former neighbors accused me of mail tampering because I got a piece of their mail by mistake and had the nerve to put it in their box! They immediately ran out and got a mailbox with a slot in the top for the mailman to put the mail in, but a lock on the front so only they could take it out. It never stopped me from giving them their mail, but they moved not long after the alleged "incident". It does, truly, take all kinds...
Keep smiling C.Ann, time wounds all heels!

 

[izzy]

I'm sorry about your neighbor problem, but I have to tell you that I live for your posts about the cuckoos next door! You are so funny when you talk about them.

I've found that the best way to deal with a crazy person is to act insanely crazier than them - to the point where they go out of their way to avoid you.

Some suggestions:

When you see her coming up your house, put an Alka Setzer tablet in your mouth and let the foam start dribbling out of your mouth and down your chin. Tell her that you have rabies and then start barking.

Tell her in a serious voice you apologize for all of the racket the night before, but the mothership landed and returned your son-in-law from his "journey."

I'm sure you can think up some other nutty ideas, or we'll be glad to help you with suggestions!