If you had to choose...

[DumboPrincess]

Between dance class once a week or preschool once a week for your 3 yr. old daughter, which would you choose? My DH and I are disagreeing...Here are some particulars:

--DD primary caregiver besides us is my mom, who watches her at her house (5 mins from ours ) for FREE. My mom has a Masters in teaching elem. age children, taught English & ESL & sign language, was director of two types of daycares and raised four children. DD has at least 4 buddies her age or close to it that we see once a week or so. She also now has her dsis to interact with @ dmom's house. B/C of DD being in the hospital earlier this year, our budget is tighter than usual. But it is VERY important to DH that DD go to preschool for "structure" & "socialization". He agrees we should still use my mom, but utilize a preschool at least once a week so she'll be "ready" mentally and socailly for kindergarten.

--DH & I both work retail, so this "once a week" deal with preschool would primarilly fall on my mom, who in addition to watching our children, suffers from fibromyalgia. I think it is too much, we don't have that extra money and would actually uproot her structure b/c the only "preschool" I know of that would let you drop off once a week is just that, a drop off. Which means"less structure and no real socialization b/c it is the potential to be a diff. teacher and or kids every week. Plus there couldn't be too much of a curriculm in that setting in my opion, mostly free play. And she already gets free play at home and Grandma's, so why pay someone for it?

--My compromise was to suggest dance class b/c it is designed to be once a week, same kids, same teacher, teaches structure and discipline. It will instill confidence and be so muchfun. It would also be cheaper than preschool. DH shot me down.

So...is it a fair compromise? Does it make sense? What would YOU do?

If it helps, she is a very confident, social child who loves to sing and dance. She can count beyond 20 and knows her ABCs. She is starting to write her own name and is potty trained. She knows sign language and some spanish. She loves to read and pretend...she is very good at puzzles and matching sequences.

Thanks everyone for your input!

 

[Aristomommy]

Given the details you did, I would not take her to preschool once a week. It would be difficult to become a part of the group when I would assume most children would attend more often than your DD. On the other hand a group class such as dance or another sport would teach her taking turns, working together and socialize her with peers. She would attend as often as others and wouldn't feel left out of the group. Your DD sounds very bright and wouldn't have problems in Kindergarten even if she doesn't attend Preschool. Good luck with your decision.

 

[auntie]

At three preschool is mostly socialization ....which she is already getting plenty of. I would go with the dance class if she is interested in that...and you still have next year when she is 4 for a more structured pre-school experience. She's still pretty young what's the rush at this point. Sometimes kids have so much pre-school experience by the time they reach Kindergarden they've had enough! My older son only had one year of pre-school and did just fine.

 

[PA Princess]

I think the dance class idea is a great compromise! I think pre-school once a week would be avery had for a 3 year old. My kids did two times a week as 3 year olds (because that is general what is offered in this area for pre-school), and even that was hard...that big gap from Thursday until school again on Tuesday is so hard at that age!. I think once a week would really be hard.

 

[jenrein]

I think you may be my clone!! I have a 6 yr old daughter- and 2 older kids. When my older ones were in school (and had done the whole preschool thing) my mother in law started watching my youngest. At the time she was 3. I had to decide the whole preschool thing too- its a pain to work around work- our program was 2 days then the next year 3 days. My mother in law is a retired RN with multiple sclerosis. She was teaching my daughter to read and write and taught her before she went into kindergarten! I wanted to be sure she got some teacher/student interaction so I signed her up for Ballet. It worked like a charm! She was so scared the first time she went into the class and within a couple classes was fine. She still dances to this day and absolutely loves dance and school!

 

[mla2177]

I battled with the whole preschool thing with my 3 yr old son. He too knows his ABC's (with sounds) and can count to 20 too. I really wanted him to go for the socialization too. My hubby thinks it will be a waste since he is already well ahead for his age. He says he is not paying for someone to put his kid down for a nap (MEN). Anyway, I decided to put him in karate instead!!!! I was in dance when I was 3-12, and I think it was one of the best things my mom did for me. I was extremely shy (used to hide behind mom), and dance brought me right out of my shell!! Good luck!

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would not worry about either one this year. If it is really in your budget, dance might be really fun but certainly not necessay. What I would look at is making sure that next year( assuming she will go to kindergarten the next year) , you budget time and money for a preschool class. I have taught preschool for over 20 year and really believe that one year makes kindergarten transition so much easier. It has nothing to do with knowing abc's etc, but learning to learn in a group setting. Opening thier own juice box, raising thier hands for turns etc, is tough for little ones. Most 4 year old programs in our area are 1/2 day, 4 days a week but that varries a lot!!!!!

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

I think in your situation I would forego the preschool. Your DD is already getting socialization now and most preschools are anything but structured-more like a free for all, but that's JMO from my two kids and the preschool opportunities that were available to them at that age.

Sounds to me like dance would be great because it would give her a creative outlet. I always thought that the kids will have 13 years of school-plenty of structure coming their way. I think preschool is great if your child doesn't have the opportunity to socialize, that way they get used to being one of many kids, instead of the center or focal point of adult attention. However, that doesn't seem to be an issue for your DD.

Good luck, whatever you decide. My vote is for dance!

 

[kaysmommie]

Since she is doing well learning her letters and numbers then I would put her in the dance class. When will she start Kindergarten? My DD took ballet since she was 2.5 yr. old. It was her first class on her own and she loved it. She did preschool when she was 4 the year before Kindergarten. She knew everything they learned in preschool and most of the stuff from kindergarten before she went. I would make sure she knows all her letters, numbers, colors and letter sounds as well as writing her name before kindergarten. SInce she is only going to go once a week it's not worth it. She sounds smart and she will be fine.

 

[krystalleigh1]

I'm a home daycare provider, mother of a 3 yo. boy, and am completing my degree in Early Childhood Education (2 more semesters, yay!). The whole preschool issue is a big topic for debate.

Studies show that children learn the most through free play. Every waking moment is a learning experience for them. They also learn more in an enviornment where they can relax and be themselves.

When children start any new enviornment there is an adjustment. In my daycare the part time kids have a much longer adjustment than the full time kids, simply because they are not with us daily doing our daily routine. And if I had someone come only one day/wk it would take much much longer. And since kids learn best when they are relaxed and comfortable (physically and emotionally comfy) then your dd is not going to get much of an advantage going to preschool one day/wk. She'll learn much more with your dm and she'll still get structure there. They may not have the "sit down", instructed learning but that would be really hard for a 3 yo. to do for longer than 10-15 minutes at a time. Most 3 yo. preschools spend the largest part of their day in freeplay. Your dd is already doing that with your dm.

If your dh is really worried about "structure" you can enroll her in preschool next year-but honestly that's not even necessary as long as your dm is going over the basics with her-and she is more than qualified to do that (any parent is actually). Your dd will learn MORE by being with your dm than she's learn at preschool-especially for only 1 day/wk.

 

[Crazy4Disney72]

I wouldn't even worry about preschool now if it's only one day a week. If your DD is interested and you have the money, do the dance class, but otherwise, she's only 3, I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds like she already gets time with other little children to play with, that's the main objective of preschool at that age anyway.

 

[MNdisneymom]

...My now 4 yo DS started preschool two days half days last September. He's a bright little kid (aren't they all? ) and I had always had him in at least a couple of activities (swimming, tumbling class, church activities, playgroups, etc.) so I thought he was getting all the socialization he needed. I decided to put him in preschool this fall, and it's amazing how much he has changed. He has gone from playing by himself, not really interacting a lot with the other kids, to this spring being the kid that gets hugged by 5 different friends the second he walks in the door. I don't have him in it for the academics; we do a lot of that stuff on our own at home, but the social skills they focus on (as part of the curriculum) are a good thing.

As for not being into the routine the way the other kids are that are there full time...there *are* days that he misses things (like Pizza Day, which is on a day he doesn't attend). But it doesn't bother him at all, and he very happily runs into school every Tuesday and Thursday morning. He loves his friends and his teachers, and I'm thrilled with how happy he is.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

At this point for a 3 year old, I would go for the dance class and continue having her stay with Grandma the rest of the time. A drop-off preschool once a week won't really be enriching to her right now.

The year before she attends kindergarten is really the key time to find a good preschool program. Even 2 or 3 days a week for 3 hours a day would be a good idea. It's not just basic skills and socialization that are important. It's more about learning how to function in a classroom environment - lining up, taking turns, sitting quietly at the table or on the floor and following the teacher's rules are all important pre-kindergarten skills.

Kids need to learn to be on the classroom schedule and start realizing they can't always choose what they want to do. For example, everyone cleans up toys and comes to circle at the same time even if they want to keep playing. Everyone lines up to wash hands and eat snack whether they're done with a project or not. These kinds of transitions can be difficult for many kids and preschool can really help. These skills are best learned in a classroom environment with the same teachers and kids present each day. The kids need to feel a sense of community and belonging and learn to get along with all kinds of other kids - some will be quiet, some will be noisy, some very active, etc.

I've been working with preschool kids for 5 years. I think the 4 year old year is really an important time for them to start transitioning into a classroom environment.

 

[DumboPrincess]

Thank you for all the thoughtful replys! DD3 only turned 3 in Feb., so this fall she will not go to school. The next fall she will be in (4yr) kindergarten, or maybe 5yr. I don't know. She'd still be four, but where her birthday falls, I'm not sure. I appreciate all the information. We have not made a decision, yet. But I'm sure ya'll could tell I lean towards dance . I'll let you know what we decide!

 

[camouseketeer]

My DD5 also has a birthday in Feb. She turned 5 in Feb and will start Kindergarten in the fall. I'm guessing that is the way your school works too, meaning you have two more school years until Kindergarten.

With that said, I wanted to agree with Luv Bunnies.

The year before she attends kindergarten is really the key time to find a good preschool program. Even 2 or 3 days a week for 3 hours a day would be a good idea. It's not just basic skills and socialization that are important. It's more about learning how to function in a classroom environment - lining up, taking turns, sitting quietly at the table or on the floor and following the teacher's rules are all important pre-kindergarten skills.

Kids need to learn to be on the classroom schedule and start realizing they can't always choose what they want to do. For example, everyone cleans up toys and comes to circle at the same time even if they want to keep playing. Everyone lines up to wash hands and eat snack whether they're done with a project or not. These kinds of transitions can be difficult for many kids and preschool can really help. These skills are best learned in a classroom environment with the same teachers and kids present each day. The kids need to feel a sense of community and belonging and learn to get along with all kinds of other kids - some will be quiet, some will be noisy, some very active, etc.

I didn't realize how true this was until this year when my daughter was in a great pre-k class. She has learned how to sit quietly in circle time, raise a quiet hand to speak, and generally "how school works." In my mind, those lessons can't be duplicated at home or even in a small daycare. It needs to be in a school like setting with a large (at least 6-8 kids) group.

Good luck with your decision. I'm sure it will be the best one for your DD!

 

[CEDmom]

There is curriculum is pre-school. My DD went and she learned her letters, numbers, colors, pre-reading skills etc. There is time for free play but it isn't glorified babysitting.

That being said going only once a week could do more harm than good. Little children have such a short memory/attention span. Week after week she'll be viewed as a new child by the other kids who bond by being there several days a week. She also will miss out on skills that build on eachother.

If you had to pick one I'd do dance since in most cases the class will only meet once a week anyway.

 

[TinkerbelleMom]

There is curriculum is pre-school. My DD went and she learned her letters, numbers, colors, pre-reading skills etc. There is time for free play but it isn't glorified babysitting.

That being said going only once a week could do more harm than good. Little children have such a short memory/attention span. Week after week she'll be viewed as a new child by the other kids who bond by being there several days a week. She also will miss out on skills that build on eachother.

If you had to pick one I'd do dance since in most cases the class will only meet once a week anyway.

ITA...you can also consider dance training another part of her education too. Granted at this age it isn't serious, but it has to start someplace. My oldest was just as you described your child, so we decided to visit a dance class to see what she thought. She at first seemed to ignore everything, but when we were talking in the lobby after the class, we realized she was doing all the dance moves she saw in class. She just loved it, wanted every day to be dance class day. She was 2.

Her first trip to WDW was when she was 4, and she was so surprised to see people dancing there...kept talking about it for days, and told everyone she was going to grow up and dance at Disney some day. Well, it's almost 13 years since that first dance class, and every day is dance class day, she's that serious about it. Her career goals have changed though, she wants to be a performer on DCL. Her dance teachers encourage her, and all their students, even if they don't want to make a career of it, dance scholarships can pay for the career they want.

Who'd have thought that one hour of socialization would now cost me enough to have several good vacations every year. Maybe someday she will be on that cruise ship, thats a performance I can't wait to see!!!

 

[Alesia]

Given the details you did, I would not take her to preschool once a week. It would be difficult to become a part of the group when I would assume most children would attend more often than your DD. On the other hand a group class such as dance or another sport would teach her taking turns, working together and socialize her with peers. She would attend as often as others and wouldn't feel left out of the group. Your DD sounds very bright and wouldn't have problems in Kindergarten even if she doesn't attend Preschool. Good luck with your decision.

I completely agree! BTW, I am a preschool teacher.

Going to preschool just one day a week isn't likely to give her nearly as much structure as a one-a-week dance class. It sounds like she has already mastered everything she would learn in preschool.