If you didn't HAVE to work would you?

[antkim]

My DH has started his new position at the new hospital. His new hours like I have said in the past are 11p-7a(he's an RN). My "job" for many years has been watching my friends children along with my own. With Dh's new schedule I had to cut down a bit to make it easier around here(trying to keep a housefull of kids quiet while he sleeps would be quite difficult!). Anyways, the children that I now watch will all be in school full time next year(including my oldest ds)so that leaves me "jobless". My Dh has insisted that it is O.K. for me to be a normal SAHM BUT I am not sure that is the case!( he works 2 jobs to be able to say this!) I have been working since I was 16 and for many years I worked 2 jobs. There is a certain job out there that I have been trying to land for quite sometime now and it just doesn't seem to be happening for me. It would allow me to work from home and do what I love to do. I wouldn't make a heck of a lot of money but at least I would be "contributing" so then maybe DH wouldn't have to work 2 jobs(although he has no problem doing so!) I REALLY want this particular job and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that it will happen. If it doesn't then I'm not sure it would be worth it for me to work out of the home and paying daycare etc. So why do I feel so funny about this? Am I crazy? LOL

Kim

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

there are times that I would have liked to have been a stay at home mom.

But I have a profession, and even if I were not working full time I think I would need to do something in my profession -- pro bono work, perhaps. but that's becasue I find my profession rewarding.

even if you're not working for a paycheck, auntkim, you are "contributing". the only question is what form your contribution takes.

 

[Lewski709]

Part time work, probably. I am sure I could occupy my time without working just fine though.

 

[dvcfamily41801]

I would definaltey work part time. And not doing what I do now!! I am so burned out.

 

[coliebird]

I would absolutely be a stay at home mom if it were at all possible.

 

[grinningghost]

Interesting question. I no longer CAN work due to my crazy multiple sclerosis, but back when I was, I ALWAYS said I would absolutely NOT work if I didn't have to.

Funny, but now that I don't work, I miss it terribly. There's something to be said for getting up and out in the world everyday and feeling like you're really contributing. I'd give anything for good health and a daily work routine again.

Now my work routine is cleaning litter boxes and scooping poop. I guess I AM contributing somehow.

 

[antkim]

I should add that my dh is very proud to be able to support his family and would work 3 jobs if need be!! He is proud that he can tell me it's O.K. for me not to "work" outside of the home-although he is very aware of the "work" I do at home that I don't get a paycheck for!(I'm not talking about the babysitting part!!) He came from a very unfortunate background-his dad left when he was 2-leaving his mom on her own to support herself and 3 young boys. He has worked EXTREMELY hard to be in the position he is now in and his greatest pleasure is seeing his family being taken care of! I'm not sure why I just told you all that!! I guess I'm "proud" of him as well. He really is a great man and I'm blessed to have him in my life. WOW! I'm mushy today! LOL

 

[sharonk]

I would love to watch children in my home or run a daycare.

 

[minniecarousel]

I've been there: I worked full-time as an X-ray Tech when our kids were very little, because I HAD to work. I was a SAHM for many years. At one point, DH was out of work and I went to work for the school district just for a little money (if we had needed serious money, I would have gone back to work as a Tech). Now, with our kids grown, I don't need to work, but I choose to. I have a job that pays lousy, but the hours are good, I like the people I work with and I have the summers off. I would like to go back to work as a Tech, but I need to get re-certified, which I will probably work on this summer.

 

[leahannpen]

If I didn't have to work and I could stay home with my son and any future kids we may have, would I? HECK YEAH!

 

[katerkat]

Hmm, I'm looking at this differently. When we have kids, I'll be staying home with them, but I don't consider that NOT working. Right now I don't have a job and I don't technically HAVE to work, but I would kill for a job. I'm so bored! Unfortunately, only being here for three months kinda kills the job prospects.

 

[Kermit]

I am a SAHM, so I obviously don't work since I don't have to. You mentioned that your DH would be willing to work 3 jobs so that you didn't have to. I think that there are some men out there who feel more validated and useful when they are able to work and solely support their families financially. They realize that their wives contribute, too, by saving money by cooking, doing their own cleaning, and so on, but they feel more worthwhile when their wives don't have to actually go to work (or work from home). Obviously, there is a point when that's not practical if it means that the man will work more than is good for his health and his family, but if it works for both the husband and wife, then it's a good situation for them.

 

[caitycaity]

like br, i enjoy the field i have chosen as my career. i have the feeling that even if i didn't have to work, i would do something in this field (even if it was only part time).

 

[ohpoohmetoo]

I understand the need to work because I got a little stir crazy when I stayed home with my DD for six months so I would love to be a SAHM but I would volunteer at my children's school. I really enjoy the feeling of satisfaction I get from volunteering somewhere it is really needed.Arial

 

[BHFan25]

Used to, I always said I'd work outside the home. But 20 years later, I'm changing my mind. I'd saty home and work in a heartbeat! But dh seems to like me working. So, I work AND do everything else like I'm NOT working!

 

[jel0511]

I'm a SAHM that would LOVE to work!!! I don't have to at all, but my brain is slowly frying here. I'm a CPA and CFA and I talk to a 3 yo all day (My 6YO is in kingergarten). Unforunately, with my professional credentials, the only jobs are those that I had before DD was born. They are all with Investment Banks, all of which are located in NYC. They don't outsource these jobs, and even trying to find part-time work is impossible. I don't want to commute an hour and half to NYC with children in daycare. Too much can go wrong, and I don't want my kids always being the last picked up, or being stuck because of train delays. So, here I am at home. I've tried to find some consulting work, but for what I do, almost impossible. I've also been out of work for 6 years now, and that also hurts my prospects. Oh well, eventually once DS starts kindergarten I'll hopefully find some volunteer work that is worthwhile.

 

[Rajah]

If I didn't have to work... I'd have to say that yes, I'd still work doing something. If I could without having to worry about money or benefits, I'd go part-time on my current job, and have more time to dedicate to other things I enjoy or want to accomplish. But I'd still want to work here.

 

[Pixie_Dust]

Kim, if you really want the job, that's fine, but I have found it is a lot easier to "contribute" by having the time to save money, find deals, etc., rather than spending all my money on the commute, food, clothes, etc., of a job that only made me miserable and did not pay enough anyway to make it at all worthwhile.
Whatever happens, be aware that SAHs definitely DO "contribute"!

 

[stitch79]

I would have to do something with my time so I would probably get a part time job if I didn't have to work.

 

[Disney Doll]

Don't sell yourself short by saying you don't work!!! SAHMs work very hard. It is not an easy job to raise children and take care of a household.

If you feel like you want to make some sort of monetary contribution, perhaps there is something you can dof from home??? I know you said there's one particular "in-home" job you've been after, but have been unsuccessful at attaining. Is there something else that oyu could do??? Perhaps typing or data entry? Something craft-related(my neighbor was a SAHM and made wooden decoraitbe things to sell at craft fairs for years while her kids were little...she made a tidy little sum, and it didn't interfere with her family life much at all. Another person I know creates gift baskets.