HSMndLKfan92
The Force is strong with this one
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2006
- Messages
- 16,031
On the DIS, I consider myself to be fairly open with all of you. I tell you about my personality, a little about my friends, family, and life. Well, mostly. This is going to turn into a long post; I can feel it. There's one thing that I haven't told anyone on here, except for my friend in real life. I think it's time that I tell you about what happened.
Now, I know that when most people hear the word "anorexia," they think of stars that are losing weight to crave attention. It's not like that. And I know that, because I've been there.
Back around Halloween, I had been fed up with my body image. I had been staring at my thighs, thinking to myself that they're huge. I then decided to lose weight, in hope of looking thinner.
Well, over the next two months, I went from eating normally to eating less and less. I became obsessed. I even started to count calories. I'd constantly talk endlessly about how many calories were in certain types of foods. My friends would start to scream at me when I got like this. They told me that I was skinny enough, but I didn't believe them. Sometimes, I even skipped one meal, while the portions for the other two were tiny.
Along with eating very little, I began to exercise more. When I was alone in my room, I'd do crunches, pushups, or anything that involved activity.
I also had another problem that added more to my obsession. According to my friends; who told me about this about three weeks ago, I got very moody. I noticed this change within me, but I was blaming it on stress from school. Apparently, it was obvious, as one of my teachers constantly asked me if I was (emotionally) alright. Of course, I lied. I'm not about to tell my teacher that I think I'm fat. I'd just get the same response, "Jaimie! You're skinny!"
All of this lasted until Christmas. By then, I had dropped 15 pounds. I still wasn't satisfied. When I looked in the mirror, I still saw huge thighs, and a large stomach. I wanted to lose just five more pounds, and I was almost there.
I don't know what happened next, but by the end of January, I gained that weight back. I was praying that my friends didn't notice the change within me, until three weeks ago. One of my best friends was sleeping over, and she told me everything. My friends, I heard, were constantly worrying about me, how I got so moody, one of them thought I was bi-polar, how I lost so much weight, and how I went from this optimistic person to a person with no self-confidence and self-esteem.
Ever since that conversation, I've looked back on what happened, and replayed memories. I was a monster. I let an obsession controll my life.
I've changed since then. I'm slowly regaining the time that I missed. I'm eating normally now, and I now talk openly to my friends about what happened.
I'm sorry this got so long, but I really needed to tell you.
Now, I know that when most people hear the word "anorexia," they think of stars that are losing weight to crave attention. It's not like that. And I know that, because I've been there.
Back around Halloween, I had been fed up with my body image. I had been staring at my thighs, thinking to myself that they're huge. I then decided to lose weight, in hope of looking thinner.
Well, over the next two months, I went from eating normally to eating less and less. I became obsessed. I even started to count calories. I'd constantly talk endlessly about how many calories were in certain types of foods. My friends would start to scream at me when I got like this. They told me that I was skinny enough, but I didn't believe them. Sometimes, I even skipped one meal, while the portions for the other two were tiny.
Along with eating very little, I began to exercise more. When I was alone in my room, I'd do crunches, pushups, or anything that involved activity.
I also had another problem that added more to my obsession. According to my friends; who told me about this about three weeks ago, I got very moody. I noticed this change within me, but I was blaming it on stress from school. Apparently, it was obvious, as one of my teachers constantly asked me if I was (emotionally) alright. Of course, I lied. I'm not about to tell my teacher that I think I'm fat. I'd just get the same response, "Jaimie! You're skinny!"
All of this lasted until Christmas. By then, I had dropped 15 pounds. I still wasn't satisfied. When I looked in the mirror, I still saw huge thighs, and a large stomach. I wanted to lose just five more pounds, and I was almost there.
I don't know what happened next, but by the end of January, I gained that weight back. I was praying that my friends didn't notice the change within me, until three weeks ago. One of my best friends was sleeping over, and she told me everything. My friends, I heard, were constantly worrying about me, how I got so moody, one of them thought I was bi-polar, how I lost so much weight, and how I went from this optimistic person to a person with no self-confidence and self-esteem.
Ever since that conversation, I've looked back on what happened, and replayed memories. I was a monster. I let an obsession controll my life.
I've changed since then. I'm slowly regaining the time that I missed. I'm eating normally now, and I now talk openly to my friends about what happened.
I'm sorry this got so long, but I really needed to tell you.
I have never personally delt with an eating disorder, but I have known a few people. You are incredibly strong for realizing your problem and actually overcoming it. That was just a big pothole in your "road of life" you managed to climb back up and continue going, alot of people never can get over that. 
