I wasn't going to post this but I need to get it off my chest

[Sonya]

I had an absolutely rotten, horrible, no-good very bad day yesterday. I am so upset and stressed out I wonder how I'm going to make it in front off all my students.
I had some problems at school with a student. That didn't start the day off good, but I handled it well I thought.
The war has really gotten me down. Why do I want to bring a new child into this world? I have to believe that he will make a difference for the better.
We are trying to get our house on the market and last night was the final night to clean befoer we start showing. Everything went wrong, the washer ate my Scattered Mickey shower curtain (only 3 months old) when it had no problem with the cheap liners. So there is money down the drain. (literally!) DH wasn't working with me, he wanted to surf on the net. I'm 7 1/2 months preggers and I CAN'T BEND OVER to clean the tub or toilet or was the floors. He did finally help after I nagged and managed to make up dinner, thank goodness.
Anyway more bad things happened, little things, but all put together they add up!
Then our realator called. We had found the perfect house and put in a bid (I know, I know, you try to get the house on the market and THEN go house hunting We just couldn't resist, it dropped in our lap) Anyway we put in a bid, very fair I thought, we expected them to counter and we were prepared, but they outright rejected it. Mostly b/c we put a clause on the contract that we need to sell our house 1st and then we could buy theirs. We know they don't want to move until June and felt we could sell ours in that amount of time. So now we either wait on the house until we sell ours and hope that one is still on the market or we come up with the closing costs and downpayment with no funds from the selling of our current house and end up making 2 mortgage payments until our house is sold. That could be 2 months or a year! I don't know what to do, neither does DH. We have no idea how much a baby costs and if we could swing it or not.
Can you tell I have no experience with this and am too stressed to deal with it? I haven't been sleeping much and that is also affecting my judgement. Thanks for leting me vent, we are talking again tonight with our realator, maybe he will have some good advice.

 

[snowball22]

Hugs!!! Today is a new day. Things will be better!!!!!

 

[Pembo]

Sonya-I feel for you. 6 years ago we put a bid on a house with a contingency for selling our home. The seller totally rejected us. About 3 weeks later when our house sold, the seller had dropped the price, we bid and got it for less than our original bid. So I guess it's one of those, "if it's meant to be" kind of things.

Good luck! I know being pg makes everything more complicated! Hugs to you!

 

[jamsmom]

I wish I had a magic ball with all the answers.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[lisajl]

{{{Hugs}}} Been there done that!

Hope you have a better day today.

BTW...Babies are extremely expensive! The diapers alone can bankrupt you!

Lisajl

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by Sonya
end up making 2 mortgage payments until our house is sold. That could be 2 months or a year!

Precisely why the sellers didn't go for the deal. They don't want to possibly wait a year! My house sold in 9 months. A lot longer than I wanted. I hope you're feeling better about things soon. Those hormones are killers!

 

[Kallison]

There is no bigger pain then juggling selling and buying a house. Maybe their house won't sell and they will come back and accept your offer. In the meantime I would get yours up on the market. This is a lot to take on when you are about to have a baby!! Good Luck, remember if the house you wanted doesn't become available it's only because it wasn't meant to be and there is something better out there for you.

 

[Sonya]

Thanks lisajl!

Pin Wizard, I know, and this is why we shouldn't have been looking! But will DH listen? Nooooooooo! Our realator said these contigencies were kind of common, but.....



Kallison, this what I keep thinking, I only hope we are right!

I'm so stressed! I wanted to be in the new house before the baby came! Perhaps I'll have to rethink my dream.

 

[MosMom]

First of all, chill out a little because you have little Thor in there growing and he needs a calm mama!

I'm a firm believer in "you get the house you're meant to have" and I only believe this because it has happened to us more than once. I've CRIED over places I lost only to be happy when the PERFECT house came along. We did the two mortgage thing and it isn't easy but I think that depends on your independent financial situation.

If you already have the big things for the baby...stroller, swing, crib, etc. etc. a baby isn't horribly expensive on a monthly basis. If you breastfeed, you don't have to worry about formula and diapers cost us about $30/month if I don't watch for coupons. Toys R Us always has baby sales where they offer 2.50 off unlimited packs of diapers and you can combine the 2.50 with your own coupons. You can really stock up and not spend very much. Toiletry items last a long time on a little bum so those aren't even close to a monthly expense.

If you decide to bottlefeed, formula is about $52/month if you buy generic powder (the big cans that last a week are $12 if not on sale). Generic formulas are controlled by the government and contain the same nutrients found in name brand formulas.

Of course, this doesn't include clothes or toys. You really don't need toys for the few months and since the baby will be a warm weather baby, you can get away with onesies & socks!

I don't know if any of this helps but if your only concern is how much a baby will cost, it's not that much. If you truly think your house will sell in a jiffy, go for it. If you don't think it is a wise move, don't do it. I'm willing to bet though if you decide not to buy this house, a better one will come along.

 

[Mishetta]

Oh Boy...I thought I was reading about me with your post Sonya! (Only, I have an ADHD/ODD DS, a 17 month old who is cognitively impaired ~ which we just found out ~ & we start speech therapy today, and my mom with cancer who I care for ~ she lives with us.)

We started looking for a home which offered a bedroom & bath on the first floor due to my mom's illness & we wanted to see if we could even afford to buy a house at this time. Well, we found a couple that suited our needs & our wallet but we still hadn't listed our home. I had a realtor come in & the comment was that with a hospital bed set up in our formal diningroom, it would be a difficult sell. People don't want to see that. Also, lower offers would come in since it would seem that we're desparate! So what do we do???? If we put our house up for sale NOW & it should sell right away, then where do we go? With my mom's illness, it's not like we can make 2 moves (apartment & then to a new home) nor could we risk 2 house payments at this time if we wanted to make a bid on a home, since I lost my job over my mom's illness!! ARGHHHH!!!!

All I know is that when I read your post, I just wanted to {{{hug}}}} you since I really understand what frustration & confusion you feel right now!! I'm sorry I can't offer words of wisdom (since I need some myself right now), but I can tell you that while I was pregnant, I bought one of those long handled tub sponges to wash the tub with & it worked great. Got it at Target for around $5. Worth every penny! Actually, I still use it from time to time when my back is achey & the tub needs washing! Please go invest in one of those!

Not to scare you but a baby costs a lot of money if you do the formula route (we did & baby was colic so we had to put him on very expensive formula) & diapers! Start buying them now with coupons & sales....& don't forget to register for them too. Sign up for size 1 automatically. If they need smaller ones, you can always buy the newborns but make sure you have size 1's (& 2's) stocked up too!! But this "baby" expense will be the most rewarding expense of any in your lifetime!

Hang in there Sonya!!

 

[Sonya]

Thanks Mishetta. I kind of know what you are going through too. I hope you work out your situation too!

 

[RUDisney]

I can feel your pain. Although without the added benefits of hormones. When we were getting married, we found the perfect house. The only thing that was wrong was the pipes froze and busted. The insurance company was taking care of all of the repairs, so we would be getting a fully remodeled, move-in condition house in a great location. The current owner knew us, so he told us that since we were buying it, we should pick out all of the rug colors and paint colors and the new kitchen. We rushed to select everything as our wedding was only a couple of weeks away. We got everything done and were assured that progress was going to be made while we were on our honeymoon. When we got back, nothing had been done. A couple of weeks later, we found out that everything that we selected was overruled by the owner's wife. We had even agreed that whatever the insurance company was offering for the kitchen, we'd pick up the difference so I could have a cherry kitchen. She changed that order to white, as she decided that they should make money from the insurance and not replace similar for similar. They were already, with our agreement, pulling up the hardwood floors that were warped and replacing them with carpeting. When I heard this, we backed out of the deal. That was when we found our current house. It is double the size of the original one with two more bedrooms. It is in a great location, and it was the same price as the first.

The moral to my story is that what others have said is true. If something is meant to be, it will be. If not this house, then there is one that you'll love even more right around the corner.

Now, take a deep breath and count down from 10.. in French nonetheless so it will sound nicer.

 

[CamColt]

Prayers & Pixie Dust to you!!!!! Doesnt it seem everything always happens at once?

I dont know if this will help but we were in a similar situation with our house. We werent looking and found our dream home. We werent pre approved or pre qualified or anything. The builder was hesitant to work with us, but we REALLY wanted this house. When we signed the purchase and sales, and put down the deposit(12,000.00), there was a clause in the contract that stated the sale was NOT contingent upon us selling our house. Basically if we couldnt sell our previous house we would be denied funding for the new house, and that wouldnt just cancel the contract, but the builder would keep our deposit. It was a big risk, but worth it. In the end our house sold in 9 days and it worked out great. Best of luck to you. I cant imagine going through that while very pregnat.

 

[debknight]

You should really have a talk with your husband. If he's insisting on a new house he should be doing the majority of the work for getting yours ready for market. An unborn child is a precious commodity and you should not have to be experiencing so much stress.

 

[dianeschlicht]

You need to move your house to Minnesota! Houses around here sell in DAYS!

 

[patsal]

I really know what you are going through, but I'm sure today will be better! Whatever you do, unless you have the money in savings, don't try to do two mortgage payments. I did that for a year and it was the year from hell! I really didn't know where the kids were going to get food from sometimes. We survived on macaroni and cheese for eight months. No fresh fruits or veggies, only canned, bulk stuff. (Gosh that seems like a lifetime ago!) If you reallly don't have the cash to handle two houses don't be lured into something you cannot handle. JMHO. Something else will come along, or that one will be there if it was ment to be.

 

[luv2tvl]

Keep your chin up... I'm a firm believer in "things happen for a reason" so maybe your offer on that home wasn't accpeted for a reason. You just don't know what that reason is yet!
I also know exactly what you are going through... This is the 3rd month that our house has been on the market and 2 houses I've fallen in love with have slipped through our fingers because of the "no contingency offer" due to the fact we our selling ours.
I know how you feel, but it will get better and we are all thinking about you!!

 

[Sonya]

Thanks for the cheering up, I really needed that. I really feel we shouldn't try and pay for 2 houses at the same time, but we have looked at all the houses in the area and nothing comes close. I guess as many of you have said, if it is meant to be then it will happen. It's just that this is all coming on so fast and I've never dealt with anything like this before so I don't know what to do but talk and pray.
Thanks again!