I've basically got two stories...because the wedding was in June and the reception was in July.
We were married June 5, 2004 (06.05.04 - yes, we did that on purpose) at Sandals Ocho Rios in Jamaica. We had wanted it to be just the two of us, but his mother wanted to see her only child get married, so we gave in and agreed that they could join us. We flew down on Memorial Day, and they flew in on Friday so we had 5 days to ourselves. The wedding was on Saturday.
The resort provided the officiant. I wrote the ceremony and brought a cd with my chosen music. They also provided a small reception after with hors d'oeuvres and cake. We paid for the photographer and videographer. They also had a special wedding night dinner for us.
First, a little recap of the day. Being Jamaica in June...it was HOT! The morning of the wedding, we'd scheduled a couples massage - very nice! Then I had a makeup appointment for shortly before the ceremony. They asked me 3 times if I was sure I didn't want my hair done too. I said "No, I'm doing it myself." I don't think they believed me.
Anyway, after our massages, we went back to the room and discovered that there was a helicopter hovering over the resort, just off our balcony. They'd been filming the resort all week. I just looked at my husband and said "they'd better not be hovering over us during the ceremony." Thankfully, they did soon disappear.
When it was time to get ready for the ceremony, hubby was to go to his parents room and his mother was coming to our room to help me get into my dress. We thought that his father would then go down to the beach with him to wait for everything to start. Nope. His father decided he just wanted to lie on the bed and told his mother and I to call him when we left our room and were on the way. So my husband had to stand down on the beach with just the officiant.
While MIL and I were getting ready, we hear this noise outside the room. Thinking it's the wedding planner, I open the door. Nope. It's the maintenance guys fixing our air conditioner. The unit was right above the door to our room, so there was no getting out of the room while they were there. Thankfully, they finished quickly and were gone. And so was the drip!!
The wedding planner arrives and we head down to the beach. The ceremony went smoothly and then we signed the marriage certificate and posed for some photos. Then it was time to head up to the reception area. But where is FIL? Oh, he had to run into the bar to grab a drink. UGH!!
The reception was nice. We had our first dance and then cut the cake. Then we all sat down to have a little snack. The videographer asked FIL to make a toast, which was fine. Then he asks MIL. She stands up and says "I'm not very good at this. I never know what to say. I want to be a grandmother so don't make me wait too long." :shock:
If I wasn't sitting down, I might have fallen over. We'd been married all of 20 minutes and she's already talking kids. We finish the little reception and it's off for more photos. IL's went back to the room.
Then it's time for dinner. We meet up and go to the restaurant. Now we'd already told them that we didn't want the pre-selected wedding menu. Since it was the Italian restaurant, we really wanted Italian - not prime-rib and baked Alaska. But they apparently forgot to tell the restaurant. Thankfully our waiter said it was no problem. We do have copies of the pre-selected menu with our names and wedding date on them. And would you believe, they misspelled hubbies name? His name is Michael.

FIL hasn't even sat down and he's whipping off his tie saying "I didn't know I didn't have to wear this. Why didn't someone tell me that I didn't need the tie?" We didn't point out that we had told him dress pants and shirt only. No jacket or tie required, but whatever. He was mad because this was the only restaurant that didn't allow shorts and beachwear at the resort.
So we peruse the menu. Meanwhile, they poured us champagne. Hubby and I start discussing what we'd like and MIL says "are you guys really hungry?". And so we said that yes, we actually were pretty hungry but we weren't going over the top, just talking about an appetizer to share, salad and main course. The pre-selected menu had appetizer, soup, salad, entree and dessert. We figured it was paid for so we were going to get our moneys worth. So she starts in on how she just wasn't hungry. The waiter comes over and we give him our order. He goes to MIL and she tells him how she's just not really hungry and it must be all the sun she got that day. I think she mentioned 3 times that she wasn't hungry. Finally the waiter said "so do you not want anything?" She ordered a salad - which remained untouched in front of her for the entire meal. Then the waiter gets to FIL. He decides he wants the pick-a-pasta, but with garlic and butter...no sauce. The waiter says "no problem" and yet MIL is still leaning over him saying "you choose from these". It took 10 minutes to order angel hair with garlic and butter. (Yep...stupid me for telling the Wedding Planner that it would be 4 for dinner. Should have said just us.)
We got through dinner and got dessert to bring back to our room. I'd had enough. We couldn't get out of our wedding attire fast enough. The resort had given us t-shirts that said Just and Married on the back, so we changed into those as soon as we returned to the room. Then we headed off to the stage area for that nights' event. We were just glad to be away from the IL's. I'd do it all over again - yet leave the IL's at home.
The reception...what a fiasco. The cliff notes version. This was the IL's idea. They said they wanted to do this for us, yet they fought us on everything we said that we wanted from the centerpieces to the menu. Hubby was at the point where he was going to tell his parents to have fun at their party. We wouldn't be there. But they finally gave us some leeway on the menu and despite their insistance that nobody would eat the baked scrod...it was the first thing to go. (We had a buffet with 7 different entree choices. Being from New England, I wanted at least 1 fish dish.) When we arrived, MIL was already on her 3rd drink and she only last about another hour before she disappeared to the ladies room and passed out. And meanwhile, her best friend proceeded to bad mouth my parents and my family to my high school friends. And she was totally sober.