I want to go back to the thread THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SHAKE YOUR HEAD

[yeahdisney]

Mom is throwing a birthday party for child. On Friday 70 yr old great grandma related by the NEW marriage who husband has died asks "Do you want me to bring anything to the party?". Granddaughter replies spouse got a short check this week (he does not work) could you bring the meat? Great grandma does this (she is facing bankruptcy herself, that, that family member is aware of). Saturday the party is done. Now Monday the granddaughter for lunch drives into town and gets a large lunch for herself. And then that nite picks up supper out for her family. Spouse did not get another check SAT/SUN or Monday AM. I do believe I would of bought the meat myself and had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and something else from home for supper. And yes she does have food at home.

 

[LAH LAH]

Ok...

Are you hoping for discussion on this? Or just stating your opinion?

 

[patsal]

Sometimes people make poor choices and others enable the poor choices.

 

[cglaura]

The great grandmother asked what she could bring. If she couldn't afford the meat she should have said, "Sorry no can do, how about [insert affordable item here] instead?"


Maybe they received money at that birthday party, maybe gift cards. Maybe a rebate check came in the mail. Maybe they just don't think or care.

There are bigger issues in life to worry about than what someone else is spending money on.

If you are worried about the great grandmother, she is the one you need to have a talk with...and setting limits on what she spends. It is ok to say no. It is ok to go to a party with just a card if that is all you can afford. Don't offer to buy something if you cannot afford it.

 

[Justsyd2]

The great grandmother asked what she could bring. If she couldn't afford the meat she should have said, "Sorry no can do, how about [insert affordable item here] instead?"


Maybe they received money at that birthday party, maybe gift cards. Maybe a rebate check came in the mail. Maybe they just don't think or care.

There are bigger issues in life to worry about than what someone else is spending money on.

If you are worried about the great grandmother, she is the one you need to have a talk with...and setting limits on what she spends. It is ok to say no. It is ok to go to a party with just a card if that is all you can afford. Don't offer to buy something if you cannot afford it.

I completely agree! I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

 

[MrsPete]

The great grandmother asked what she could bring. If she couldn't afford the meat she should have said, "Sorry no can do, how about [insert affordable item here] instead?"

Yeah, I'm on the same wavelength. The grandaughter didn't ask her to bring something -- she volunteered. And just because the grandaughter suggested that she bring the most expensive item doesn't mean that the great-grandmother had to agree to it.

Yeah, it wasn't a kind thing for the grandaughter to do, but I don't think she's entirely to blame either.

 

[Karlzmom]

I'm not saying this is what happened in the OPs scenario, but I view the whole "grandma could have said no" thing a bit differently. There is a whole category of elder abuse where "grandma" is financially manipulated by others who make "requests", sometimes when asked, sometimes not that place a financial burden on the elderly person. Be it an issue of manners, not wanting to create a problem or just even particular mental vulnerabilities, the elderly person does not say "no" to the monetary request...just something to consider in assessing responsibility.....

 

[cglaura]

I'm not saying this is what happened in the OPs scenario, but I view the whole "grandma could have said no" thing a bit differently. There is a whole category of elder abuse where "grandma" is financially manipulated by others who make "requests", sometimes when asked, sometimes not that place a financial burden on the elderly person. Be it an issue of manners, not wanting to create a problem or just even particular mental vulnerabilities, the elderly person does not say "no" to the monetary request...just something to consider in assessing responsibility.....

Oh, I totally agree! That is why I was saying to the OP, that instead of targeting the mom of the party, who if she is irrisponsible with money will most likely continue to do so (though could be totally innocent about where they got that lunch/dinner $). The best thing to do is to help the great grandmother instead. Help her to not let herself get manipulated. The OP could rant about the party mom forever, but if the great grandma is always the yes girl, it won't matter...the takers will always gravitate to the givers like moths to a flame.

 

[disneyhand]

The title of the thread is that the OP wants to go back to the thread, things that make you shake your head.

I agree with OP. This scenario, with or without widow, elderly, short check, etc. makes me shake my head. It is not how I entertain, but different strokes...

 

[cm8]

Mom is throwing a birthday party for child. On Friday 70 yr old great grandma related by the NEW marriage who husband has died asks "Do you want me to bring anything to the party?". Granddaughter replies spouse got a short check this week (he does not work) could you bring the meat? Great grandma does this (she is facing bankruptcy herself, that, that family member is aware of). Saturday the party is done. Now Monday the granddaughter for lunch drives into town and gets a large lunch for herself. And then that nite picks up supper out for her family. Spouse did not get another check SAT/SUN or Monday AM. I do believe I would of bought the meat myself and had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and something else from home for supper. And yes she does have food at home.

(SMH)

 

[C.Ann]

First of all, I have to say that it was very difficult for me to follow what you were saying in your thread about the "who", "what", "where", and "why" of exactly what happened and exactly why you care..

Secondly, times are tough for everyone right now (well - most everyone) and I think we would all do well to take care of our own issues - within our own homes - and not waste precious energy looking to see what everyone else is doing..

Did this significantly impact you - personally - in any way? If not, I guess I just fail to see the importance of this particular incident..

 

[Shleedogg]

I'm not saying this is what happened in the OPs scenario, but I view the whole "grandma could have said no" thing a bit differently. There is a whole category of elder abuse where "grandma" is financially manipulated by others who make "requests", sometimes when asked, sometimes not that place a financial burden on the elderly person. Be it an issue of manners, not wanting to create a problem or just even particular mental vulnerabilities, the elderly person does not say "no" to the monetary request...just something to consider in assessing responsibility.....

This is so true. My grandmother lived for years next door to a leach. She would ask my grandma for rides, to "borrow" money, etc. My grandma would never say no and of course would never tell my mom about it until after the fact. I remember being a teenager and wanting to say something to the woman, but of course my mom wouldn't let me. It's terrible to say, but a huge burden was lifted off of my grandma and family when she died of an OD.

 

[Alexander]

Shaking my head to try and clarify what the OP even was writing about!

 

[yeahdisney]

I had just wanted to go back to things that make you shake your head. Not discuss what made me shake mine.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Mom is throwing a birthday party for child. On Friday 70 yr old great grandma related by the NEW marriage who husband has died asks "Do you want me to bring anything to the party?". Granddaughter replies spouse got a short check this week (he does not work) could you bring the meat? Great grandma does this (she is facing bankruptcy herself, that, that family member is aware of). Saturday the party is done. Now Monday the granddaughter for lunch drives into town and gets a large lunch for herself. And then that nite picks up supper out for her family. Spouse did not get another check SAT/SUN or Monday AM. I do believe I would of bought the meat myself and had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and something else from home for supper. And yes she does have food at home.

Shaking my head to try and clarify what the OP even was writing about!

 

[LAH LAH]

I had just wanted to go back to things that make you shake your head. Not discuss what made me shake mine.

I guess I am now doubly curious as to why you didn't post it in that thread?

 

[cm8]

I had just wanted to go back to things that make you shake your head. Not discuss what made me shake mine.

I gotcha loud and clear (SMH2)

 

[SandrA9810]

I guess I am now doubly curious as to why you didn't post it in that thread?

Because she put it as the topic title.

I'm shaking my head at my aunt who is strapped for cash, wanting to take my grandmother to Indiana for a week next week, and spends $60 on 4 movies at Target yesterday. And she didn't want to spend $70 a couple weeks prior for a new disposable that needs to be replaced ASAP.

Every time I bring up "why do you buy so many movies?" She just throws out there that she spent $50 for the two of them to go to the theaters and buy snacks and a drink. Ok, most people don't go to the movies weekly, but you also don't need to throw out hundreds a month on DVDs. There's cheaper alternatives.

 

[LAH LAH]

I am really not trying to be a pain in the rear. I understood her to say she wanted to go back to that thread. I am seriously asking why start a new one saying that instead of posting there.

I think I am missing something.

*I am not trying to be snarky, I really am confused*

 

[honeydiane1953]

Folks who put WDW vacations, expensive jewelry and other LUXURY things on CC. We live in a time when u should have NO CREDIT CARD DEBT. Paying all that interest and maxing out CC makes me shake my head. S t u p i d i t y//