I want to FINALLY win at losing

[jaelless]

OK so every Friday I wake up all depressed and anxious and feeling completely unsatisfied with life. I work very stressful night weekends so I dread them. Sometimes it helps to write down what I feel. I thought I might start a journal here on the Disney boards, because well I LOVE Disney. When I turned 40 my metabolism decided to go on a permanent vacation. No matter what I did it refused to work. So I have spent the past 6 years watching the scale creep up and up despite me trying to force it back down. I am so tired at losing at losing, I want to finally win. This Wednesday I am going to the doctor (which I hate doing) and am getting my thyroid checked. I am hoping there is actually a medical reason for my vacationing metabolism, and not just me failing to lose. I do okay with walking, I wear a misfit shine to keep track of my activity, and 90% of the time I hit my goal every day. I think I fail the most at watching my diet. I know people say to keep track of everything they eat, I just can't seem to be that organized. I try to eat lots of veggies and drink water, I do all the other tips people suggest, yet nothing helps. So here I am just looking for a bit of encouragement, plus accountability. I am a person that absolutely hates lying. So if I write it in here then I have to make sure it is the truth.

Ok to make sure this stays along the lines of being Disney oriented like I said I love Disney. My kitchen is completely decorated in Mickey Mouse and my bathroom is Winnie the Pooh. If it has to do with Disney I am in. I live within three hours of Disney World and have managed a trip there every year since moving here. My lil princess turns six next week and we are heading back down to Orlando for some birthday fun. Swimming is definitely on the list of things to do and I am dreading being in public in my bathing suit, but for her I will. Next year for her birthday I want to not be embarrassed, I want to have lost the 70 lbs. I want to be able to go on all the rides with her and not fret that I might be too heavy or big. I also want to be brave enough to get into all the character pictures with her. I need a shot of me and Mickey together. So please any encouraging words and tips are very welcome

 

[BuckeyeBama]

My first piece of advice is to learn to love yourself - not the picture of you that you have in your mind, but the you that you see when you look in the mirror. Happiness will not come from weight loss. Happiness will either come from inside of you, or it will not come at all.

My second piece of advice - go swimming with your daughter, no matter your weight at the time. Stop being self-conscious. Think of what you are teaching her.

If you want to lose weight, do so for the right reason - and the only good reason is for your health. Not to look a specific way, but to feel a specific way - healthy.

You can do this. You are stronger than you think.

 

[DisPup75]

It sounds like you have a lot of reasons to win! Hold on to them. This is a long journey but I know you can do this.

Re the tracking... It's working for me at least so far. And it is sometimes really hard to keep up with it. But it has been helpful because I continue to be shocked at just how many calories some foods contain. Even the relatively healthful ones! I'm not a volume eater and never have been but when I added things up I was no longer surprised that I somehow would up 50 pounds overweight and 80 pounds over where I would like to be. One thing that has helped is that if I am busy or out or just don't have time to deal with MFP, I snap a picture of whatever I'm eating and use the photo to figure it out later. My tracker doesn't always make me happy since I sometimes make some really poor decisions but when I'm honest about just how many starbursts I stole from the candy bowl, I get results.

I wish you the best! And I'm cheering for you!!

 

[LSUlakes]

Good luck tomorrow with your Dr. appointment and let us know how it goes. I know tracking everything you eat is a lot of work, but it truly does put everything into perspective on portion sizes and actual totals. I've done it and I am about to start again to lose a few more pounds. The effort is worth it as you start to see the lbs come off. If it's a medical thing, hopefully the Dr has a easy solution to get things going for you. Just remember, weight loss is a long term goal, as well as a life style change. Slow and steady wins the race!
Good luck.

 

[Keels]

Taking the first steps is one the biggest parts of getting healthy. Sticking with it is the hardest part!

Just know that it won't happen overnight, but if you put in the work, you can do it!

And I echo what was said above - a big step in the right direction is learning to love yourself. Being healthy doesn't come at an exact number or clothing size. Would I love to be a size 6? Absolutely! Do I want to give up tasty-tasty beer and macaroni and cheese for the rest of my life to do that? Nope.

I don't even really look at the scale any more. I like how clothes fit. I like how I can do active pursuits I would never dream of before. I like the energy I have. That's enough for me.

Tracking is really important in making definitive changes in your diet. I know a lot of people who swear by Weight Watchers - I actually used it when I worked on making dietary changes. It definitely gives you the accountability you need, especially if you go to in-person meetings and not just do it on your phone/website.

Good luck! You can do it!

 

[jaelless]

I have the world's worst memory, I forgot I had started this. It is not a habit yet for me to post in here. Thank you all who posted kind words and encouragement. It is very appreciated. Right now I am in the fasting time for my doctor's appointment tomorrow. Not sure why they said I had to be fasting. I just asked them to test my thyroid levels. I am betting they want to do the whole gambit of testing. I wish doctors would listen to patients and not just do what they want to. I am a nurse, I know how clueless doctors can be when it comes to listening to patients. Anyway I am a bit worried that they will be testing for diabetes. I do not have it, but my dad did. I know when I was pregnant the OB worried I might be a gestational diabetic but I never became one. I am hoping that holds true now. The diet doesn't worry me, but the finger sticking all the time is not something I can do. I am a wimp when it comes to needles. So I just want lab work to say the hypothyroidism and nothing else.

I do want to be a good example for my lil princess. I try very hard to compliment her on her intelligence, her kindness, her sense of humor, with the occasional you are beautiful thrown in. I read an article that said to not just tell your daughter they are cute, because then they start to see their value in only their looks. While I want my daughter to always believe she is beautiful, I want her to feel pretty on the inside as well. Body image is formed younger and younger these days.

hmmm a Disney mention to maintain the theme of the website... I love the fact that Disney offers kid friendly healthy choices. The little snack bags of grapes, apples, and carrots were so awesome to have on our last trip. It is hard to get my daughter to eat a full meal so we would carry the snacks with us and she would have a nice lil healthy pick me up while waiting in lines.

 

[roxymama]

I love what you wrote about all the things you want to tell your daughter. My tip would be to mentally tell them to yourself too.
(think I'll try that this week as well)

 

[DisPup75]

Wishing you well on your tests!

 

[jaelless]

I was right, the vampires drew all my blood to test for all sorts of stuff LOL Now just have to wait for the test results. I can now say that Weight Watchers and My Fitness Pal are actually doctor recommended. I don't think I will do the weight watchers, but I will look into my fitness pal. Seems the harder I try the more I seem to not lose. I had to fast for the tests and in doing so I gained 2 lbs??? How does that make any sense Anyway despite the gain I am not giving up. I will just try harder. Logically I know it is just water weight since TOM is five days late. My cycle has also decided to go wonky this year as an added bonus. It better come and go soon cause vacation is next week. I am very excited about trip, my lil princess is beyond excited about her birthday. Is cute that she actually now calls herself a princess since that is what I have always called her. When we go to Orlando all the people call her princess so I am betting part of her truly believes she is one which is so cute to me. Since she refuses to let me cut her hair she looks like a mini Rapunzel. Hopefully with the heat and all the swimming I will make healthy meal choices and not gain anything, which in vacation terms means an actual loss LOL well that is my logic. Kind of like if you don't gain the 20 lbs over the holidays it is equal to losing 20 lbs. shhhh don't ruin my delusions

 

[jaelless]

One week on here is now my second Friday here. Next three nights are for work then it is off to Orlando for the lil princess's birthday. She is very excited. I got my lab work back and the good news is I am not diabetic, my cholesterol levels are fine, and I am healthy. The bad news is my thyroid is just fine as well LOL so that just means I have a lazy metabolism grrrrrr. Is kind of funny, the doctors all look at me and all they see is the extra weight so they assume I will be unhealthy. According to my labs I am very healthy LOL just fluffy. So now I have to go back to the old fashioned way of losing weight, diet and exercise So first off I downloaded the my fitness pal to my iphone. I will be trying my best to keep track of what I eat. I even measured my coffee creamer today. I am enjoying a cup of coffee with less creamer than usual. It will take some getting used to but in the long run it will be worth it. Lately I have been trying to view my food cravings as an addiction, and that is what they seem to be. I can be not hungry at all and still be wanting to taste more. I really need to clamp down on that. My son had same issue I think. He is big big big inspiration to me. When he became a teenager he put on a lot of very unhealthy weight, like dangerous levels. Finally right before his senior year of high school he had to go get a physical. The doctor told him that he would not live past early 20's if he didn't lose weight. The doctor even ordered a bunch of lab work for him to do. He hates needles as much as I do, apparently even more so because he begged me to give him three months to make a change, if he didn't succeed then he would get the labs drawn. I agreed and WOW did he change. He started counting calories, and did a bit of exercise. He lost weight big time. Over his senior year he lost 70 lbs and in the past year since he lost another 35 lbs. He is unrecognizable from where he was. I am so proud of him. He doesn't eat any sweets, and is very disciplined about eating. He still eats pizza and wings, but will balance them out with a sensible sandwich and he snacks on popcorn a lot. He also gave up soda and sweet tea and now drinks cherry mio constantly. I finally had to tell him to stop losing weight LOL. He beat his addiction, so I will as well. Is tough though since I love baking. This summer instead of baking I have been trying to make more interesting salads to eat. I really like the southwestern one I found on Pinterest. It is super easy and guilt free.

Anybody out there have any good and healthy salad recipes to share? Or guilt free things to bake LOL Or any tips to help beat a food addiction? Any assistance is always appreciated

 

[roxymama]

I'm not sure if you are a fan of avocado, but I really like to put avocados, unsalted nuts (I like cashews), and dried cranberries and cut up fresh grapes in my salad. Just with a low fat vinagrette.
The avocado gives me the squishy craving, the nuts the crunchy and the fruit gives me the sweet.
Grilled chicken is good in it as well.

Not super creative, but I like it.

 

[DisPup75]

Great news that you are healthy!!! The truth of the matter is that you've got to follow old fashioned eat better and move more rules even if you have a diagnosis of something that slows down the metabolism. I have a severely under active thyroid - the replacement hormones make me feel tons better but they didn't make the weight disappear. It's been years and I am finally accepting that I've got to do the work. Your son sounds like a great example and your daughter is a marvelous little inspiration. You CAN do this!

My favorite salad is the Signature Salad from Cosi and I make my own version at home - lots of greens + blue cheese, pistachios, halved grapes, cut up pears, and dried cranberries (similar to that above describe above - great minds). I dress it with a light dressing I make out of sherry vinegar and a little olive oil. I also like to add grilled chicken.

For something heartier, I also like to toss together black beans, roasted sweet potatoes, and red bell pepper with lime juice and olive oil. I like it cold or hot but needs much more seasoning cold.

Guilt free things to bake are a lot tougher! What about a baked apple? Core it, stuff it with a little bit of butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon and bake it until soft. I eat a cookie almost every day but I'm pretty good at stopping at just one or two; brownies on the other hand have been banned from the house.

 

[jaelless]

DisPup what about trying brownie mix (I like the dark chocolate ones) mixed with just a can of pumpkin. Only those two ingredients and baked according to the box. The pumpkin takes the place of the oil and eggs plus is superfood so brownies healthier. You don't really taste the pumpkin, it just makes a very dense fudge like brownie. I got the recipe out of a hungry girl cookbook.

 

[DisPup75]

DisPup what about trying brownie mix (I like the dark chocolate ones) mixed with just a can of pumpkin. Only those two ingredients and baked according to the box. The pumpkin takes the place of the oil and eggs plus is superfood so brownies healthier. You don't really taste the pumpkin, it just makes a very dense fudge like brownie. I got the recipe out of a hungry girl cookbook.

Interesting. I've done that with black beans and while DH loves them, I'm not crazy about the results. Will have to try pumpkin. I love pumpkin so a bit of pumpkin taste would be A-OK in my book!

 

[Kriii]

Hello- I am new to this thread but do want to offer support I am wondering if peri menopause is contributing to your issues given your age and symptoms? Those hormonal changes can definitely lead to food cravings and affect the feeling of being satiated. Can you get your hormone levels checked? I am cheering you on!

 

[jaelless]

Kriii it is possible, but I am not messing with taking female hormones. Those come with too many dangerous risks. So I am just going to tough it out.

It's been four days now since I started using the my fitness pal to log in my calories and I have stayed within my quota all four days I have learned that when calories are counted I would much rather have a HUGE salad as opposed to one cookie LOL So I have been behaving and choosing wisely.

and finally I AM ON VACATION!!!! For the next 11 days no work for me only fun. It's the lil princess' birthday and time to celebrate and travel to Orlando. Going to be a challenge diet wise, but I will make sure I keep moving so my calories expended will balance it out. I didn't realize my Misfit tracker synced automatically with my fitness pal so I get extra calories to indulge in.

 

[Kriii]

Enjoy your vacation! I didn't mean to suggest you take artificial hormones, which are indeed linked to cancer. I just meant to have your hormones checked to see if they were impacting your mood and weight. If a woman wishes for hormone replacement, there is always the option of natural plant based bio identical hormones. Of course that is an individual decision and doctor consult is needed. I wouldn't presume to recommend medical treatment for you. Again, enjoy your trip

 

[DisPup75]

It's been four days now since I started using the my fitness pal to log in my calories and I have stayed within my quota all four days I have learned that when calories are counted I would much rather have a HUGE salad as opposed to one cookie LOL So I have been behaving and choosing wisely.

and finally I AM ON VACATION!!!! For the next 11 days no work for me only fun. It's the lil princess' birthday and time to celebrate and travel to Orlando. Going to be a challenge diet wise, but I will make sure I keep moving so my calories expended will balance it out. I didn't realize my Misfit tracker synced automatically with my fitness pal so I get extra calories to indulge in.

Woohoo! I hope you and the little princess have a marvelous trip and a magical birthday celebration!

 

[jaelless]

Kriii thank you for the advice and encouragement. Sorry I come across a bit harsh when I first get off work. I'm tired and sometimes my internal regulator doesn't work LOL my kids know taking me into public after work is often funny and risky. They never know what I'll say.

Vacation will be both fun and challenging. Part of me wants to just say screw keeping track and just enjoy myself, but the other side of me says be good since in long run I want to be healthier. There has to be a better way to balance it all out.

 

[Kriii]

Oh gosh, no offense was taken truly. I went to Disney myself recently and definitely was not following my usual meal routine. It happens. Don't beat yourself up if you indulge to a moderate degree on some days, just do your best not to have an all or nothing mentality. If you slip, you can forgive yourself and start over. You are starting the healthy lifestyle journey and will get better at it over time. Find support if you need it. You can do this. Enjoy the trip