I want to be a stay-at-home mom! Please help!

[Nik's Mom]

O.k. I didn't know where else to post this, and since I figured budget-minded people are good with financial advise, I thought I'd post here. I desperately want to be a stay at home mom, but just don't know how we could afford it. What did you stay-at-home moms do? Do you work from home, or just cut expenses somewhere? Any tips/advise would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Sherri

 

[DMRick]

I'd suggest you visit the eBay thread on the Disbaords. I'm betting your kids grow out of clothes and toys!

 

[Leigha]

What I thought was the worst thing - my babysitter quit keeping children - turned out to be the best thing! When I couldn't find anyone else to keep my greatest treasure, I found a way to stay at home and do it myself. I also started to keep other children in my home as well. It met a lot of needs and I've never regretted it!

 

[Tank]

Perhaps you could work evenings or weekends? My wife is a hairdresser and is able to work 4 hours a night, MWF and every other Sat. She gets to stay at home with the kids all day and still gets out for some adult time. Many companies now offer flexable hours for working moms.

 

[SamSam]

It depends on your spending habits now. First off, there are expenses from working that you will no longer have if you stay home; 'work clothes', childcare, extra car expenses, more meals out, etc.
Next, if you don't already do these there is:
-using coupons for grocery shopping
-getting by without namebrand clothing
-cooking meals from scratch (yes, this is cheaper in the long run)
I hope you're able to find a way to be a Stay At Home Mom, since it's what you want. Good Luck!

 

[house_of_princesses]

I realize this won't be a popular idea, but downsizing would be good... Sell the home you're in now and purchase a smaller one. The benefits are numerous.

 

[Aubrey]

There are several very useful books by Jenny McCoy on this very subject. Look for "Miserly Moms" and "Frugal Families" She was a professional woman who converted her two income lifestyle into a one income family and she talks about not only how to do it but the economics of why two income families generally don't have much more disposable income than single income families. Good luck on your transformation.

 

[SamSam]

It depends on your spending habits now. First off, there are expenses from working that you will no longer have if you stay home; 'work clothes', childcare, extra car expenses, more meals out, etc.
Next, if you don't already do these there is:
-using coupons for grocery shopping
-getting by without namebrand clothing
-cooking meals from scratch (yes, this is cheaper in the long run)
I hope you're able to find a way to be a Stay At Home Mom, since it's what you want. Good Luck!

 

[KathyFP]

We managed the transition 5 1/2 years ago. DH quit work to be a SAHD.

We have lived in the same house for 10 years (although we really need a bigger one).

DH & I rarely buy new clothes. I have tried to change my clothes from dry clean only to wash and dry.

We eat basic meals.

Without a doubt, it was the best decision we could have ever made. DH was gong to go back to work when DD entered K, now we have changed our minds. He is going to continue to stay home. We love the flexibility.

 

[KimandBrian]

It's definitely worth it to be a SAHM. I love every day I get to spend with my daughter. She's only 4 months old so we are still really going through the financial transition, but it has been a very positive experience.

I have found that I dont need as much money because Im no longer commuting, eating out at lunch and buying new business clothes.

 

[tink2dw]

Can you do the job you have been at,by computer from home?? Tele-commute?
Can you do the job you did, as your own business from home??

Do you have a hobby you can sell??

What do you want to do and will a new company let you do it by computer from home??

 

[kaf7878]

It's definatly possible but you do need to make some difficult choices sometimes. As another person said, can you get a smaller house, only drive one car, cut cable, make from scatch and cut grocery expenses, stop spending on unnecessary things (toys, clothes), don't go out to eat, look carefully to reduce all bills (cut caller ID, switch auto insurance).

There are a million ways to make it happen if you want it bad enough. My DH is a teacher and we survive well on his measly income! You will love being a SAHM...I don't even look at the things we cut as sacrifices anymore.

Get The Tightwad Gazette book...it will help you greatly!

 

[Crazy4mandms]

FIND A WAY TO DO THIS!!! IT IS SOOO WORTH IT!!! I left the Navy to stay home with my 15 month old...best decision I ever made!! I went to school part time at night (and now that the kids are older...7 and 11, I am starting my career!!) and we did without alot of things....our cars were always at least 10 years old, we sometimes bought clothes at the Salvation Army and were never too proud to take hand me downs for the kids. Our mattress sagged and my hair looked like *hit most of the time for lack of paying for a regular haircut, but that's NOT what the kids remember!!! My kids could care less if the couch was an ugly old thing or that they had generic macaroni and cheese. They remember the things we did together...time spent together! I realize that not everyone has this opportunity or would enjoy it, but I don't have one regret!!!!

Get a deep freezer and stock up on meat when the sales are on and stock up on things like cereal when on sale (I usually never pay more than $1.50/box with sale and coupon).

 

[punkin]

If you really want this, there is are ways to make it happen. I've been home for over 4 years now and am now only starting to think of going back to work (my youngest will be 5 this Nov. and is inschool full time) I quit after I had 4 nannies in 5 months. There was no stability. My (then) 6 year old started acting out and throwing tantrums. I said-no amount of money (and I was earning a substantial amount) is worth losing my children! So I quit. Our income was cut almost in half. No one got new clothes. I could make one chicken last a familly of 4 for 5 days. We ate a lot of rice and beans. I made my own baby food. We had one car and that was 6 years old (we just got a new one-our car was over 10 years old). We did not go out to eat. We did not go to the movies. We did not have cable.

Last year we sold our huge expensive monstrosity of a house. My husband took a pay cut to work less hours and spend more time with the kids, We moved out of NY (I'm still crying over that one) into a slightly cheaper area (not that the DC suburbs are chap, but comparatively). We bought a much smaller house. We are doing fine and I have the sweetest, best behave girls you could possibly see. It was the best decision I ever made. Yes, it was hard, but soo worth it.

 

[NancyIL]

I've been a SAHM since my first daughter was born 19 years ago, and only now have started working parttime. A wonderful book that I highly recommend is The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn. Your library may have either the individual titles (there are 3) or the 3-volumes-in-1 title. Here's more info from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...102-9285153-1550503?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

 

[hockey mom]

I would also love to be a SAHM but there a few things I don't know if we could manage on one income. Are any of the single income families still able to afford a Disney vacation, and if so how? I also have my kids hockey which is very expensive, but I would love to find a way to keep those two things and be home with them. I know asking the impossible right.

 

[DiznEeyore]

You've gotten lots of great advice. I second the recommendations for Amy Daczyzn's and Jonni McCoy's books.

I'm a SAHM, and while I do have a very part-time job (church secretary; pays less than $235/mo.), we mostly just do our best to keep expenses low so that we can afford for me to stay home.

Some other suggestions would be to:

*Keep your thermostat a few degrees cooler (pile on those cozy sweaters!)

*Unplug unused appliances to avoid "ghost usage"

*Install low-flow shower heads and take shorter showers

*Shop grocery store loss-leaders and base your menu on them; stock up when things are on sale! Also, keep track of prices and be willing to go to more than one store to get the best deals.

*Rather than always buying something new, see if you already own something that will fill the need

*Utilize the library for cheap/free entertainment

*Save your change -- only spend bills

I hope you're able to find a way to stay home. I worked in a daycare for years, as well as watched kiddoes in my home, and I can tell you that nothing is more crucial to a child's well-being than being in the care of his or her own parents! Good luck!!

 

[beattyfamily]

I was so scared we wouldn't be able to do it. But my DH told me not to worry, it will all work out in the end.

Things were very tight and when my DD was 2 months old I went to work at night at Dunkin Donuts!! I did this till I got pregnant with my second DD then I quit.

We also cut down on whatever we could. We got basic cable instead of movie channels. Cancelled magazine subscriptions, made our car insurance deductible higher, eliminated any bills we could.

My DH made his lunches that first year which helped a lot. We stopped buying things for the house or ourselves for awhile.

Within a year or 2 things were already much better. My DH got a couple of raises. A car was paid off. I was working at night.

It all works out in the end, IMHO, because I feel you get rewarded by sacrifices and paid back 10 fold!!

I no longer have to work. We are very comfortable and very blessed.

Like someone else posted, there are lots of things you will save on just by not working to help compensate for being home. Lunch food, gas, transportation to work, work clothes, childcare, extra car expenses, more meals out, etc.

You can do it!!!

 

[DiznEeyore]

Originally posted by hockey mom
I would also love to be a SAHM but there a few things I don't know if we could manage on one income. Are any of the single income families still able to afford a Disney vacation, and if so how? I also have my kids hockey which is very expensive, but I would love to find a way to keep those two things and be home with them. I know asking the impossible right.

hockey mom:

No, it's not impossible, it can be done! You just have to make what you want a priority and be willing to give up other things.

We have been fortunate enough to have taken 9 WDW vacations (including a 3-day cruise) in the last 5 years. For the first couple, I was working part-time at a scrapbook store (worked while ds was at preschool and also evenings and weekends so my dh was home) and internet rewards programs were at their peak, so those paid for the trips.

Once I quit the store and the programs dried up, I started cutting costs and saving change, as well as selling things on ebay. My dh also picks up work on the side (he's a computer guru and a wedding photographer), so we added trip funds from there.

We also bought DVC, so this helps us immensely with reducing trip expenses (we eat in the villa a *lot*, and I love being able to do laundry right there in the room!).

We have a trip planned for the end of this October, and this one will most likely be our last before taking a break. We plan to buy our car when the lease runs out next August, so I'm socking money away to pay cash for it. Once that's done, I can start planning another WDW trip!

 

[Danemom]

If you want to be a SAHM, do it!!! This is such an important (and so, so short) time in your life - there's no second chance. If you want to stay home you should definitely try it. I once saw a TV show about a family killing themselves with both parents working. The show brought in financial experts who showed them that it was actually costing them more! That poor mom just burst into tears.

I was a SAHM for 5 years. We didn't do it "right" and relied on credit cards a little too heavily for the extras. It took us another five years to get it all paid for but I still wouldn't change a thing! There are night jobs you can take if you need extra cash (maybe for a WDW trip? ). I stocked grocery shelves and worked holidays at a toy stoy. I've heard paper routes are great for SAHMs. I eventually found a very family-friendly job that I love!

Good luck! If you want something bad enough, it can definitely be done!