I want comments on this Poem, please

[Arielfn93]

Soul Mate
by anonymous

A plethora of sad feelings
A pit, a piy I can not fill
Warm tears running down my cheek
Tears that can not help but fall

A deep secret
Kept from all I trust,exept,
someone who knows my mind
A person who can take it

My stomach streched like a rubber band

I give you the rest later

 

[Arielfn93]

When I told him who I truly was
A dark soul inside
when I had finished
There was a deep silence

He nodded
I cried
He patted me on the back
nothing could break the spell

That was when I realized
He was my soulmate

 

[Arielfn93]

Soul Mate
by anonymous

A plethora of sad feelings
A pit, a piy I can not fill
Warm tears running down my cheek
Tears that can not help but fall

A deep secret
Kept from all I trust,exept,
someone who knows my mind
A person who can take it

My stomach streched like a rubber band
When I told him who I truly was
A dark soul inside
when I had finished
There was a deep silence

He nodded
I cried
He patted me on the back
nothing could break the spell

That was when I realized
He was my soulmate



There is the whole poem
Tell me what you think about it

 

[yoyo93]

My favorite poem

 

[yoyo93]

is that one above

 

[Arielfn93]

Mine too

 

[AmoDolphin]

I like it!

 

[Arielfn93]

Thanks, My friend and I wrote it in our free time
And I am serious about that

 

[yoyo93]

I am the friend...................no to brag or anything

 

[TiggWDW]

that's so good!

 

[yoyo93]

thanx!

 

[Arielfn93]

that's so good!

Thank you, we are going to make more poems too, so keep posted