I think I am going to be screwed..again! What to do?

[FreeTime]

As a gift for some members of our family we invited them to join us on one of our DVC trips and we would pay for their tickets including their tickets to MVMCP. Well, it is time to buy the tickets for the party (I am worried they will sell out, should I be concerned) and they are having trouble paying for their groceries right now (not to mention mortgage, utilities, and money to use that we were saving to pay for their tickets, etc). I don't want to place even more hardship on them to try and come up with the money to go and dh asked them if they would like to go another time when they are on their feet. They said no that they are going this year. I am concerned about putting over money for their tickets and then have them not go (they frequently get angry over stupid stuff and would not go just to be cruel also).They have cancelled on us before and now this. DH says to buy our tickets so our kids won't be punished and then if they are sold out that they will be out of luck. I say that isn't fair to their kids. Should I lie and tell them that I can't get vacation then? Help fellow DVCer's!
Thanks

 

[jfulcer]

It sound as if you are already planning on being negative about this whole experience, do you think that you really would enjoy the vacation after going through all this grief? I learned the 'family vacation' lesson a long time ago - separate vacations, separate rooms, separate bills. If they couldn't pay to come along on their own, then maybe they shouldn't come....

I would tell them that you changed your minds and wanted to make this a 'private' family vacation and that you were thinking the next year would be even better for a group trip. They may actually be looking for a way to get out of it too, you never really know.

And if they get upset at you. Well, then they get upset at you. I wouldn't worry about it - it'll get better.

 

[dsmith]

[stepping up on soap box]

If they are having a hard time paying for groceries they shouldn't be going to WDW! Some people really need to get their priorities straight. Luxuries like vacations come after EVERYTHING else is taken care of. If you've just got to have some time away hit the beach, go camping, or visit Six Flags for a day. I love WDW but wouldn't dream of spending the big bucks on that unless I could really afford it. Luckily for my family we can, but it hasn't always been that way.

[stepping down from soap box]


Granted, I don't know the details of your relationship but... Since you've offered this as a gift I think you are on the hook. Here's what I'd do... Buy park hopper tickets so if they cancel on you the tickets can still be used on another trip. Buy the MVMCP tickets too, if they cancel on you I'm sure you'd find a buyer on short notice here on the DIS Boards.

Good luck, I'll send some pixie dust your way.

 

[dzneelvr]

I hate to be too analytical here for you, but what is the reason you even went this far in all the plans with them if you knew there would be a good chance a)they couldn't afford it b) they will burn you--from past experience and c) you may get "stuck" with expenses?

After you've taken some time to answer those questions--so it doesn't happen again,--you need to come completely clean with them. It will do no good for either side to make up "stories" that conveniently fit nor is it in good interest to purchase a bunch of tickets that you'll only use to pretend all is going well.
As an outside third-party, there isn't much positive energy going on between the two of your families and I would suspect your family ends up paying for being ethical and morally right in situations.

For heavens sake, this should be a happy trip for your family. What their family choses to do or not do should have no effect. You need to get through this with them and use it as one of those hard lessons-learned.
Believe me, nothing you do will be satisfactory to them--in the long run this trip will be a huge mistake. They have issues that only they can work on. You can't make it better for them.

 

[DebbieB]

I wouldn't rush on the MVMCP tickets. Only Friday nights usually sellout and that isn't until late October/November. I always buy ours when we get there, we go on a Sunday or Tuesday night. You get the advance discount as long as you buy before the party date.

 

[Beca]

What a wonderful relative you are!!! You sound really frustrated, and I am sorry for that!!! I hope that your family knows how lucky they are...

Just, go with your gut...and, follow our motto...."no matter what happens, Disney is too magical to allow yourself to have a bad time...it is what you make it".

Beca

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished !!!

 

[Disney Doll]

Buy them park hoppers that can be used by anyone, so if they don't go this year, you'll have those tickets for one of your future trips.

As far the MVMCP, I don't know what to tell you. You can buy the tickets, knowing full well that you may get burned. Or maybe buy the tickets for their kids, and not for the adults, so if they do go, their kids don't get burned by not being able to go, or buy them with the knowledge that you can resell them to someone here on the DIS probably.

I would have to agree that soemone who can't pay for groceries has no business taking a vacation. Priorities are screwy!!!!

 

[jimmytammy]

From a fellow DVCer, a bit of advice. I agree with DebbieB.

Our experience with MVMCP has been unless you go on Fri night which will be more crowds anyway, wait til you get to WDW, buy the tickets the day before you plan on attending. You still get the discount this way and you can watch the weather and see which night is best. This way you dont get stuck with unused tickets.

I commend you for helping your family. You never know, it may give them a much needed boost in their lives.

 

[goofy4tink]

On the off chance that you are rethinking this whole idea, you could tell them that you 'mis-read' your available points for the year!! "I am soooo sorry. We just don't have enough points for this 'family' trip. But next year will be fine. I feel so awful. I am so sorry to have to do this." and so on and so on. I'm just not sure a trip, with you paying so much up front for them, is a great idea.
Now, you could go and have a terrific time. But, I'm getting the sense here that that wouldn't be the case. So, you go, with your group this year. And then next year? Well, who knows...maybe they will be in a position to go and have a good time and not wreck yours.

 

[pammypooh]

I would go ahead and buy tickets for your own family for MVMCP, and just wait and see what happens. I mean it isn't going to be the end of the world if they do decide to take you up on your generous gift and go to WDW and you can't get tickets last minute for them for MVMCP....I mean they are still at WDW, right? There are many other things to do and you don't have to do everything together. That would drive me nuts...and I do get along great with my extended family.

Whatever you decide, I hope you have fun. Remember, this is YOUR family vacation, too!

Pam

 

[poohtown]

since you seem more upset about the kids being left out, could you talk to them about taking just the kids. I mean you could explain they (the adults) could have some free time and maybe do some overtime (if that applies). If they're having a hard time right now they might appreciate some time alone to work it all out. That way the kids and your family will still enjoy yourselves. Hope everything works out.

 

[momof2inPA]

Something about your post is confusing me. You are going to pay for their tickets. Are they paying you back? Are they paying you for using your points?

If you are paying for their room and tickets, are they having trouble coming up with airline or gas money or spending money? Is that why you think they might bail on you?

 

[missypie]

My sister and her family are chronically very very poor and don't say "thank you" when something is done for them. I learned this long ago and live with it. I don't invite them to do anything unless I am ready, willing and able to pay for 100% of it with a smile on my face.

The suggestions about the park hopper tickets are great. Also, since you are DVC, I assume you will have a kitchen, so food costs can be as low as they want to go. If they bale on you, c'est la vie. Use the parkhoppers later, have a terrific time and don't even think about ever asking them again.